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Author Topic: How to bring this up with a girl?  (Read 5215 times)

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peyrosucks

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How to bring this up with a girl?
« on: March 05, 2011, 09:57:28 PM »

I've had so many things happen to me in the past 9 months that I'm surprised I haven't lost it.  We won't go into all of that here.  I noticed Peyronies last May from the pain and was diagnosed shortly thereafter.  I had one lump that was just painful.  Then I got the curve going upward and to the left with hour-glassing.  It freaked me out.  I had started taking Potaba before the curve, and I realized that Potaba wasn't going to do much, so I decided on Verapamil.  I went through 6 injections.  It definitely softened the plaque, but I think it gave me another one right behind the initial one.  Who know if it was a natural progression or from Verapamil.  I got the hinge effect probably after the 2nd shot.  So when I get hard now, I have the second lump causing a noticeable bulge on the left side of my penis with hour-glassing and hinge effect going on above that.  The hinge isn't so bad when very erect but is there.  When 80% erect it's definitely there.  I'm also about to wrap up a divorce.  I have had sex on Cialis with a new girl that was a one night stand.  It was decent but not like prior to Peyronies.  I'm fearful to cause any further damage.  Now I'm dating a new girl, and had I not had this awful misfortune I'd be nailing her silly. 

I wanted to get some opinions.  Do you guys bring this up with a new sexual partner before hand?  I don't want to make an issue of it, but at the same time I know I am not going to give my usual performance so it might be worth prefacing sex by letting them know.  I think about this disease everyday and it slowly eats away.  I have hope that it goes away with Pentox, VED, and Avapro (blood pressure drug that reverses scarring in other tissue in the body; posted this in the oral section).  I'm trying to make some lemonade out of this lemon of a disease. 
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Woodman

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2011, 11:29:41 PM »

I am glad you started this thread. I ve been having some of the same questions rolling around in my head too. I ve had Peyronies for almost 4 years and haven't had a date in 2 years. It really does wear on you! I can't perform like I did prior to this condition either. I ve got a plague causing a left bend with a waist, a plaque underneath causing some bending down & a plaque on the right side sticking out. I perplexed on how and or when to bring it up too. I am pretty sure I could get away with it at first in the right setting but as you mention my performance is effected by it. Also I cannot have a woman get vigorous and I am so scared of one getting over zealous and having an accident. I figure if I don't bring it up before hand it could be a bad or awkward experience. Most importantly that without the woman knowing she could get a little vigorous and I could get hurt. I mean my definition of vigorous these days is a woman moving her hips or something with me thrusting at the sametime. I know that sounds pretty bad for a guy who is 38 but it is what it is right now.

I have been thinking about this for a while now and figure I am gonna have to tell her before hand for safety sake at the very least. Also, if she knows it will take a lot of pressure off of me and my bent tool too. Now I finally have to build my courage up to start dating again. This is the only reason why I haven't after all this time. As you mentioned if I didn't have this condition I would be out there with a happy happy girlfriend too!
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Paypist

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2011, 08:15:32 PM »

I am wondering what I have? I have no pain at all. Just a severly bent penis. Been this way for about 1 1/2 years. It sucks!
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LWillisjr

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2011, 09:35:58 PM »


We'll need more information on your symptoms...   It could be several different issues.

1. Have you always had a curve, or did this develop suddenly?
2. Is it progressing (getting worse)?
3. Are you able to achieve erections OK?
4. Is the curve only noticeable when you have an erection?
5. How much would you estimate your curve (in degrees, an angle measurement)
6. Anything that feels unusual when you are flacid (nodules, spots that feel different than the surrounding tissue, etc.
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Developed peyronies 2007 - 70 degree dorsal
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GS

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2011, 09:55:02 AM »

Gentlemen,

It's been my experience over many years that women are much more interested in lovemaking than they are in sex.  Honesty and integrity are also high on most women's list of attributes in men.

I was already engaged to a wonderful woman when Peyronies reared it's ugly head, so I can't really speak from experience on what to do before you have sex with a woman for the first time.  But, in my opinion, you could casually discuss it with her, but not make it a big deal; if you don't make a big deal out of it, she won't either.  If she does, she's probably not the right girl to begin with.

Trust me on this one; and I do have a lot of experience on this; great sex is a lot more than just the intercourse part.  By the time you get finished with all the great foreplay, she will be so excited, the intercourse part is just the climax of great lovemaking.

Obviously, the above situation takes some practice, but pratice makes perfect!  Be confident and have some fun; life is too short to worry about all the small stuff.  Most of all, don't let Peyronies get the best of you.

GS
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Luciano

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2011, 02:28:27 AM »


Trust me on this one; and I do have a lot of experience on this; great sex is a lot more than just the intercourse part.  By the time you get finished with all the great foreplay, she will be so excited, the intercourse part is just the climax of great lovemaking.

Obviously, the above situation takes some practice, but pratice makes perfect!  Be confident and have some fun; life is too short to worry about all the small stuff.  Most of all, don't let Peyronies get the best of you.

GS
Well said GS!

Actually it works. I have great sex with a girl I met after Peyronies Disease started. Intercourse is, as you said just the climax at the end. We have great time even though positions are limited. And I am relaxed as intercourse only really starts after she has come..

First time I had told her i wouldn't be able to have intercourse because of my bent penis. She said: Well you wont be able to if you never try...

L.
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agrant

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2011, 06:08:25 PM »

I need some help and advice...I recently started dating a great guy that has Peyronies Disease. He has been very open and honest with me about his condition and treatment. Not until I started doing some research and learning more about the disease did I realize what a brave and open guy he was to even disclose his condition to me. We have not become intimate as of yet but we are certainly very attracted to each other. And I look forward to the time when we are intimate.

I guess my biggest questions are:

1. How can I make him feel comfortable and secure with our intimacy?
2. How does oral sex affect this condition? Is it painful? Is it something to avoid?
3. When taking Viagra prior to sex how long does it take to work and how long does it last?
4. Are there positions to avoid?

I know these may sound like basic questions but this is all very new to me and any feed back would be greatly appreciated. I want to know a little more before I discuss his condition with him in detail so that I may reassure him of my interest in persuing a relationship with him.
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GS

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2011, 10:37:12 AM »

agrant,

It certainly sounds like you are on the right track.  Feeling comfortable will probably just take some time.

Oral sex is, IMO, a big part of sex with Peyronies; it doesn't cause any pain during or after.  Actual intercourse can cause pain during and after; it just depends on the individual and where he is as far as the stages of Peyronies.

A lot of men with Peyronies use Viagra; it usually takes about a hour to start working and usually lasts for 4 or 5 hours. Personally, I buy the 100 MG tablets and divide them into 3 doses per tab.  He will just have to experiment with dosage to see what works best.

The one position I would avoid is with you on top of him.  A lot of men think that's what caused their Peyronies to begin with.

Good luck to both of you; it's sounds like he is already a lucky man to have found a woman like you.

GS
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Christine

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Re: How to bring this up with a girl?
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2011, 10:11:29 PM »

GS you are a wise man and has offered some really sage advice. 

All the young men battling this condition out there need to keep in mind that when that right women comes into your life, any limitations that you face in this area will not make a difference.  Take the time you need to build the relationship first and that will weed out the gals that this could be a deal breaker with. 

Love, Romance, integrity, sincerity, trust, stability, and a good sense of humor are far more important to women than anything when we are looking for the man of our dreams.  The rest is just frosting!!

Best of luck to you and listen to these gentlemen who have been there and done that!

Blessings,   Christine
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May the Lord Bless you  :)
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