i was getting better as i got punched in the face

[porterrobinson]

over the last few months and weeks i have worked hard to get an upper hand in my life. i worked with therwpists and friends on solutions of how to overcome my damaged reality. and i eas getting somewhere. peyronies also stopped getting worse and i actually saw some mild improvements.

but 3 days ago i have seen reocurrence. i cant even believe it. firsttime it was in the middle of the shaft ledt side indentation and slight curve. now its on the left side, right below the glans. there is visable loss of girth and an indentation and flacid and erect pain and discomfort. i am mortified. my dr assured me that you can only get this disease once in your life bc it is an immune disease and the body remembers not to react this way the next time. but here i am. who can i even trust anymore? whats the truth even? how do i move foreard? i cant go through all this again. its been 15 months and its been increadibly difficult on me to not lose hope. whos going to say this is not constantly coming back over the course of my life? im in mx early twenties, how am i supposed to live with thaz fear? with getting my sexuality ripped from me? no relationships, no intimacy, i cant even masturbate properly because of the pain and the weird indentations, it has taken all the pleasure out for me. the right side is super healthy and the left side has these weird indentations everywhere and is completely crippled. its completely unstable now with multiple indentations and a torsion on the glans and one in the middle, hinging.. severeED now although this could be a  result of me being so mortified rn

[Heyyou]

I feel you man it is really depressing
Hang on there you do not know what will happen tomorrow
I am in the same place as you and I was wishing my whole life to get married and have kids now I am here with u in this forum
Let's have hope and pray  

[20yo]

I also have recently reinjured myself due to VED and am at a low point.
I wish I could tell you something useful but I don't have anything to say because I'm just as lost as you.
I can only say to not give up just yet, there are many way to experience sexuality and there are many things in life that bring you joy beside intercourse.
Ofc when something doesn't work it seems like it is the most important thing but i believe if we take some time and struggle on with life we come to realize we are not so unfortunate after all.
That's what keeps me going anyway

[porterrobinson]

its not just intercourse i cant even grt off properly anymore. really disturbing to see a body part of such importance just seemingly waste away and nobody can do anything

[Hawk]

For the last 17 years this form has documented that many men have repeated flair-ups.  It is all over the forum.
I am sorry that you did not understand this and even more sorry about your setback.

As far as "getting off" is concerned, you must know there are many ways to have an orgasm.

Have you considered Xiaflex or implant?  They are both open for discussion on the respective boards.

[porterrobinson]

in my country xiaflex is not on the market anxmore sadly. i think US is the only country now where its even distributed for peyronies. so depressing, years with no approved drug only for it to be discontinued in 2019. implant is not ansolution for me as im in my early twenties, it seems quite a subpar solution at best. i am afraid there is really not much i can do. it is also not a flare up but rather on a completely different spot. now, the entire left side of my penis is diseased, ridges and small dents everywhere, total loss of sensation, its like only half side of my penis even works. and i have pain and discomfort all the time, in flaccid state, i cant focus on my studies, work or anything really. its so debilitating. if i could at least get that to stop but bobody knows whats going on. they say take pain killers, what happens if you take pain killers eversday for years and years? you get a destroyed stomach?  how are doctors thinking when they say this? take pain pills for the rest of your life? do i have to accept that i will be a chronic pain patient for the rest of my life? i want to understand my outlook on this because uncertainty is even worse. but my doctor has not been helpful, he said peyronies can genuinely onlx happen once. i wonder how much i should even trust him but he is one of the better ones i have found

[AverageBloke]

Hey man,

I understand what you're going through. I would suggest trying a diclofenac gel 3 times a day over the shaft of the penis as it can relieve the inflammation and pain (dont put on the glans). I think the pain will go away for you, I would try abstaining from sex and masturbation. Maybe you should also try to find a male sexual health specialist who specialises in Peyronie's. My flaccid penis looks rough at the moment but if I have an erection it seems to all fill out except for a small dent.

All the best!

[Mikel7]

Fear has a way of growing arms and legs and completely taking over our lives if we let it. You have to have hope! Yes peyronies can flare up again, but why not think that today I'm going to try and believe that this is not going to define me and beat me! You must have hope to believe that tomorrow you will have a better future and things will improve. When I was in my 20's I never thought I would get married and have a family. I never thought I would live to see 21, but here I am 60. You can't live with a defeatist attitude. We have all had our worries and shock at seeing our penises not work and had to cope with it.  You can be thankful that you are not John Bobbitt who had his dick cut off by his wife.  

[Hawk]

implant is not a solution for me as I'm in my early twenties, it seems quite a subpar solution at best.... how are doctors thinking when they say this? take pain pills for the rest of your life? do I have to accept that

As Mike said.  Fear can and clearly has totally taken over.  You will not be a chronic pain patient for the rest of your life because of Peyronies Disease.  I know many people who are chronic life-long pain patients but no one because of Peyronies Disease.

So you say an implant is sub-par.  I must have totally misunderstood your posts if you think an implant is subpar to your statement, "I have resolved that sex with a partner will never be a part of my life."

Clearly, you are allowing fear and depression to cloud clear thinking.  Your first job has to be treating your point of view, your mental stability, and your joy for life.

[Andy_75]

I completely feel your pain also.

The ED likely has a lot to do with your depression tbh.  I was inactive and depressed as anything.  When I started exercising again and started an AD, my erections improved believe it or not.  Not completely solid but better than they were.

I have a minor dorsal bend upward but at the bend is a weak hinge like dent which makes the erection unstable.  I have only masturbated once in the last 6 months and think it may have made things worse.

Sigh.  I don't have any pain and am thankful for that and from what I can feel, the plaque is the size of not even a pea.  How can such a small little pimple sized bump screw things up so much?!  But I digress.

Unfortunately for those with the dents/hourglassing and wasting, I don't feel there is much we can do short of a healthy diet, exercise and some supplements.  No way would I put a traction device near my penis with the weakened state and dent/hinge.

I am a realist and have come to accept my fate.  The only way for me to beat this is to change my mindset.  I am looking at it like someone who has lost function due to paralysis only I still have my legs and control of my bladder etc.  I think it is the only way tbh.  Those people are still able to move on and lead productive and enjoyable lives.

I think it will just take a year or two to accept things and move forward.

I am looking at implants out of interest but don't think I will ever have the nerve to go through with it.  Time will tell.

All I can say is I am another that feels your struggle and that this is a horrible thing to have happen to anyone.

You could also talk to your Doctor about antidepressants if you feel that is possibly something for you.  It has helped take the "edge off" but even at a high dose, I struggle a lot of days.

As I said in another post, for me, the solution is mindset.  Acceptance and finding other joys in life.  I may look into getting a dog when/if COVID eases up here.  It's certainly not the answer but I had one growing up and have always wanted to get another.  The best way to get over this is to stop caring —but that is obviously easier said than done.

Hang in there.  

BTW, I am 40 and recently single after 10 year common law relationship with a woman.

They also took the injectable drug off the market here too.

[Hawk]

Unfortunately for those with the dents/hourglassing and wasting, I don't feel there is much we can do short of a healthy diet, exercise, and some supplements.  No way would I put a traction device near my penis with the weakened state and dent/hinge.

Those are the kind of decisions that every man has to make for himself. However, trials show that traction can improve hourglass deformity and girth in general.  Three-cylinder VED's also have the potential to improve these deformities.  So, there ARE options for men with dents, narrowing, and hourglass deformities.  Because it is not an option you choose does not mean there are no options.