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Welcome to Dr. Landon Trost - Directly answering member questions in the "Medical Professionals" section below the Treatment boards. https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,16512.0.html

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Author Topic: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?  (Read 831 times)

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markdubby

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how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« on: July 05, 2021, 08:20:33 AM »

Hi all

so i might be dating a girl for the first time since peyronies started for me. my dick is useable (quite straight but a bit dented and unstable) but i think it would be good for the mind to actually get out there again. i have more to offer than just a dick but i think given the right understanding sex could also be possible.

i was wondering, how do people here approach the topic with the partner the first time were it to get to the bedroom? i think sex would be fine as long as i am always on top/in control, and as long as her touch is quite delicate. do you mention just before sex that you have a problem and you need to take it easy/delicate or just pretend things are ok and hope for the best?

many thanks!
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30, ~20-30 degrees right bend beginning of 02/2021. Small plaque under gland on right side of the shaft
04/21 Plaque right side under glans
07/21 plaque by base
10 deg curvature at base + narrowing
1.8 g Citrulline 2-3 g ALCAR, 6-8h daily with PM

porterrobinson

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #1 on: July 05, 2021, 09:04:29 AM »

i try to accept that this will judt not be a part of my life. its hard. it just depends on so many variables. a guy with a 7 incher and some 30degree curve will have a completely different experience than a 5inch guy with hourglassing and denting or even Erectile Dysfunction. peyronies has so manx faces, for some men sex is just midly altered, for others their sexuality is being robbed and their sex life destroyed. so its impossible to answer
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single, mid 20
diagnosed early 2020
indentation 20 degree bent to left, recurrence with new indentation below glans
tried vacuum device with no success

Hawk

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #2 on: July 05, 2021, 09:27:55 AM »

Quite to the contrary, it is not impossible to answer. It is relatively straightforward to answer since Mark explained his situation in full.

He is relatively straight and can get erections but is concerned with stability in some situations.

Mark, You have options to choose from.  I see 3 possible scenarios.

1. Don't tell her before your first encounter.
This has some risk that she would be wild, rough, and want to call the positions.  I think you would have some sense of that just getting to know her.
To reduce risk, I would take a PDE5 inhibitor for a stronger erection or at least take 2000 MG of L-Arginine.
I would use some lube.  It is easy to have a small bottle of silicone lube (long-lasting) transferred to a tiny squeeze bottle in your pocket and apply some to the palm of your hand then to your penis.

2. You give her the simple version and say I had a recent injury unrelated to sex, and I hope you won't mind me being a little careful.  Act casual and not overly concerned yourself.
(You can still take the precautions listed in #1)

3. You give her the full story and tell her you need to be cautious.  You run some risk here that she could be so concerned that it will rob from her pleasure.
You can obviously use the safeguards in #1

Which approach you take depends on what you feel most comfortable with for the specific situation. For example, is this someone who you have great communication with?  is this a hopefully a long-term relationship?

You have options.  Now you need to decide on a course of action.
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

markdubby

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #3 on: July 05, 2021, 09:54:50 AM »

thanks hawk! exactly what i was after!

any tips on which positions might be reccomended? assume her on top is a big no!
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30, ~20-30 degrees right bend beginning of 02/2021. Small plaque under gland on right side of the shaft
04/21 Plaque right side under glans
07/21 plaque by base
10 deg curvature at base + narrowing
1.8 g Citrulline 2-3 g ALCAR, 6-8h daily with PM

Hawk

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2021, 01:04:16 PM »

assume her on top is a big no!

You assume right.  We all know that a perfectly healthy penis can be badly damaged in this position.  You have zero control and her entire weight can impact your penis.
any variation of that is dangerous ( sitting with her sitting on top regardless of the direction she is facing).

I think most other positions free you to move away instead of being trapped under the force of her weight.

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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

Andy_1492

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2021, 07:48:42 AM »

I think it is certainly a good idea to get out there, just to regain confidence and prove to yourself that you can actually still do it somewhat successfully.

The truth of the matter is alot of us tend to fear the worst and ruminate on it, with such low expectations you can only do better then what you think in your mind.

I think this would go a long way to psychologically curing me also, if only the NHS would provide a partner as part of my sexual rehabilitation. I think Israelis provide this to their troops who have taken damage to their nether regions in the battlefield. I suppose there might be a lot of fakers though   ;D



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30 yo - Single
Dent and relatively mild Erectile Dysfunction 2012
Worsening in 2021 with a slight curvature and increased indentation
1000mg l-arginine/500mg l-carnitine/133mg Vit E

wtrenton

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2021, 02:11:16 PM »

Hi all

so i might be dating a girl for the first time since peyronies started for me. my dick is useable (quite straight but a bit dented and unstable) but i think it would be good for the mind to actually get out there again. i have more to offer than just a dick but i think given the right understanding sex could also be possible.

i was wondering, how do people here approach the topic with the partner the first time were it to get to the bedroom? i think sex would be fine as long as i am always on top/in control, and as long as her touch is quite delicate. do you mention just before sex that you have a problem and you need to take it easy/delicate or just pretend things are ok and hope for the best?

many thanks!


Mark,

I don't have anything to suggest beyond what is noted above by others. But I do wish you the best as you get out there and rebuild your confidence.

I am awfully curious about something, if I may ask. Your signature says you had a 20-30 degree curve to the right as of Feb 2021 -- just 5 months ago. And I think you said in a later reply you have maybe a 5 degree curve or so now? How on earth did you get from 30 down to 5 in just a few months? What was your treatment course? Hard to see that as anything but successful.

I'm new to this...still learning about it all and just starting Xiaflex. So I'm just curious.
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43 y/o
Peyronies Disease diagnosis Dec 2020
Numerous plaques; curve up&left combnd. 30 deg.
7 mos of Pentox did nothing
Completed 10 Xiaflex injections w/ Dr. Lue, Feb 2022
RestoreX limited use
Curve almost entirely gone
Lost length 1-3/4" still trying to restore

markdubby

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2021, 02:16:20 PM »

mainly daily traction with the PMP.

i had loads of other plauqes appear recently sadly. no curvature but a lot of denting and instability and difficulty maintaining erection so maybe dating for another time  :-[
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30, ~20-30 degrees right bend beginning of 02/2021. Small plaque under gland on right side of the shaft
04/21 Plaque right side under glans
07/21 plaque by base
10 deg curvature at base + narrowing
1.8 g Citrulline 2-3 g ALCAR, 6-8h daily with PM

porterrobinson

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2021, 03:11:03 PM »

did you have those plaques verified by ultra soubd? or how did you indentify them?
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single, mid 20
diagnosed early 2020
indentation 20 degree bent to left, recurrence with new indentation below glans
tried vacuum device with no success

Kobegianna

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2021, 10:41:52 PM »

This is another reason why I do not fully trust traction. You straighten your curve but ended up with Instabilty, dents, and more plaques. I have been the same. I feel like I am in a stable stage but I hate the hlurglassing ans indents. So I try to do traction to fix it but everything I do traction I get pain and I feel like I do more damage.

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34 yrs Old, Healthy very active
Possibly injured penis or took too much Cialis
Symptoms starting January-February 2021
First dent seen April 4, 2021, painful erections

GaussRifle

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2021, 11:03:35 PM »

In my opinion traction is the single best thing you can do for the health of your penis. I don’t know about pmp, but with RestoreX there is a limit of force (quite strong) it applies and it cannot exceed that. Traction will ensure any scar doesn’t heal in contracted state…, I don’t know how you can blame it for adding instability ?
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26 year old
45-50 degree downward curve with an indentation on one side when erect.
Using RestoreX and Xiaflex injections
Taking coq10 with daily Cialis 5mg.

markdubby

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2021, 04:01:08 AM »

i use really low tension (<500 g)

i guess now i just have to go through with it, if i stop i'll loose even more, but 2 of the older scars are definitely breaking down/getting softer so i hope they will stop appearing and heal eventually
Logged
30, ~20-30 degrees right bend beginning of 02/2021. Small plaque under gland on right side of the shaft
04/21 Plaque right side under glans
07/21 plaque by base
10 deg curvature at base + narrowing
1.8 g Citrulline 2-3 g ALCAR, 6-8h daily with PM

Kobegianna

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2021, 11:18:15 AM »

Could you explain more about the scars breaking down or getting softer? I never really understood this. Are they actually diseapperaing like going away? Or just getting softer? Is your plaque like circular like marbles? Or flat like pancakes?

My scar is like a string with little beads attached to them. Or I think this is what I’m feeling and what people are saying is scar tissue.
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34 yrs Old, Healthy very active
Possibly injured penis or took too much Cialis
Symptoms starting January-February 2021
First dent seen April 4, 2021, painful erections

markdubby

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2021, 11:37:25 AM »

mine start as round nodules, and then expand into larger hard plaques. you can almost pinch them laterally and they have a hard consistency. my very first scar is now much much softer, and i can feel a couple smaller regions that pop out, like small mountains. i cant pinch it like before and its slowly flattening

this seems to start happening once the curvature is reduced to 0. i guess past a certain point the tissue is broken down and doesnt pose that much of a limit to the elasticity of the penis.
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30, ~20-30 degrees right bend beginning of 02/2021. Small plaque under gland on right side of the shaft
04/21 Plaque right side under glans
07/21 plaque by base
10 deg curvature at base + narrowing
1.8 g Citrulline 2-3 g ALCAR, 6-8h daily with PM

Hawk

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Re: how do you deal with dating/casual sex?
« Reply #14 on: July 09, 2021, 08:39:05 AM »

This is a psychological Aspects board.  NOT a traction or treatment board.
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums
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