At times i feel despair

[Cehaleddin]

Hi everybody,

I am 26 years old from Turkey and i have been diagnosed with peyronies. I used to measure my penis daily: 20.3 cm's bone pressed lenght 14.2 cm girth (14, 14.4 depending on the day). I practiced no-fap and also i did what people call a horsegrip in the pegym community. I was greedy.

I had broken up from my girlfriend and for 2 years i did not have sex with anyone. When i masturbated, i did not orgasm or ejaculate to retain semen.

I had quit smoking and had started again at the time of my accident and was gaining weight. I did a lot of swimming and martial arts but gave a break because i had other work to do at the same time.

One day i decided to ejaculate. I had already been for months feeling a difficulty completely filling my penis with blood. I was able to do it but i needed a lot of prep otherwise it would hurt. I had never had that before. About 4 months ago i decided to ejaculate when my penis was half erect. I did just that, only to feel pain. I waited for it to pass it didnt. The next time i got erect i noticed the thickest part of my penis (just below the glans) had gotten thinner, 13.5 cm to be exact. It was inline with other parts of my penis and the head of the penis slightly curved.

I started eating pineapples and taking COQ-10 for a month, i bought castor oil, applied huridoid. Not much changed. I got this supersonic toothbrush nothing. I went to a urologist and he was suspicious, he did not believe me. He gave me a painkiller called arvales and some vitamins. I did as he told and watched some videos on youtube by a gentleman i have come to respect Neoman. Last week i went back to the urologist. I showed him pictures of my penis, he said i was only making this a problem because i knew its size before that i had nothing to worry about. We started ESWT sessions. I had a very very stiff erection this morning after the session. Yet i couldn't bear to look at it. I just felt it.

I was a person who had an ego around having a big penis. I would not be a dick about it to women or men or anything like that but inside it made me feel secure. I didn't need a relationship. I could work on myself and my interest without need of validation until i figured out other stuff. I still am this way. But this is eating at me. What will happen? Will i lose more? Will the pain go away? Can i heal and regain my properly functioning natural penis.

I am also angry. Reading the various situations of all these men that have been affected. Why is there not more research? No cure? I don't understand.

My plaque is right under my glans and i dont have a bothering curve but to drop from 14.2 cm to 13.5 cm (last measurement 13.3 but i could not get a complete erection i guess) makes me hate myself.

I had a girlfriend who compared me to a few basketball players she slept with. She said i wasn't big and she used it against me. I was deeply in love and wanted to even marry her. Other things happened. I just feel a sense of doom when i think about it. I need to educate myself. I was already a deeply suicidal person and this just adds to tinder to the flame.

I am so grateful and anxious to meet all of you great gentleman in this forum. I am filled with respect when i read your stories, your struggles.

Thank you for being here

Over and Out

[TDix]

Welcome to the forum  Cehaleddin! I hope you find the support and the answers you are looking for.  You are among those who understand the challenges you are going through.

The first help we can give is this link to our Survival guide.  It is important you start here.  It is packed with information and you should read it more than once.  It would be good to print it. ---> https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,3180.0.html

That will help you to immediately start taking action.  It will also help you understand the questions you want to ask and the answers you receive.


Next, Please,

We cannot remember your case details out of 20,000 members.

If you want accurate answers that apply to your case then be considerate enough to help us.  You can save us all from typing the same 40 questions over and over.  Fill in your signature line ---> https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,10819.0.html

Replace this text with critical info about your case
such as age
first symptoms (deformity, Erectile Dysfunction)
official diagnosis
treatments tried
relationship status
Etc

[Mikel7]

Welcome Cehaleddin!  You are among friends and I can relate to your story.  I also was very "proud" of my large size and was devastated when it all strated for me. I can tell you that you will get through this.  Please don't obsess over your penis because all it will do is cause you mental anguish.

 Read the survival guide and impliment a strategy for yourself.  Finding a peyronies Dr can be difficult but search and inquire to locate one if possible. Read the foroum because all of us guys have been right where you are and I can tell you that there is hope!  Don't let your mind wander about "what if " thoughts - don't do it! Each day may have it's challenges but with a plan of action and knowing that this isn't forever you will
get through this.

You are also better to be rid of your girlfriend who used your penis size against you. She said being almost 8 inches is small compared to other basketball players?  She is making it up I'm sure to hurt you. Good riddance.  Be encouraged man!    Mike

[Hawk]

Welcome to the forum Cehaleddin.

Do NOT underestimate the importance of treating your mental/psychological symptoms.  If you work on that and get it under control I will be of more value to you than even fixing your penis.

After you read the Survival Guide here are a couple of resources I recommend.  It takes some work but if you surrender you will be miserable and angry.  Do not give in.  You have much to offer and a great life ahead if put in some effort.  
https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?fbclid=IwAR2eJ4IUorZSpVc5mh4ThQwygogR9kVFo4MUWZuByo3yoMfM7rfu0AwaElQ

www.insighttimer.com

Hawk
Founder/Administrator

[Cehaleddin]

Hello everyone thank you for your support. I feel very safe and accomodated here.

I have been having ESWT. There is almost no change in my thickness (13.5 cms) yet my EQ is grrreat. And the pain is almost gone. I am fine living with the slightly bent shape and loss of thickness.

I will still pursue ways to recover my loss and prevent further progression in a way that doesnt mentally and spiritually harm me.

Everyone here is recommending me to go to a peyronie specialist.

I think i will. There is one in Turkey according to the list.


A few things i'm curious about:

So one of the theories on how we get peyronies is repeated micro trauma aren't traction devices and VED's also things that cause micro trauma?

For girth regain a VED is used right? I dont have almost any abnormal curve, just a loss of girth below the glans which was previously the thickest part of my penis.

How do i know for sure i am in the inflamattory phase? It's been four months and my pain is almost gone, i can get fully erect with mild discomfort?

There is a very hard almost bump like area in the right side of my penis? What is this bump? Its not small like a module more like an area that gets hard quickly...


Thank you.

[Hawk]

When you say there is only one Peyronies Disease specialist in Turkey according to the list, IF you mean our doctors list, it is by no means complete.  We place doctors on the list when we have reports suggesting they are knowledgeable about Peyronies Disease and treatments, but we have no way of knowing all doctors that should be on our list.

Only you can know if you are in the inflammatory phase.  The main symptom is pain (often mild).  Sometimes it is in the form of soreness or tenderness when you gently squeeze your penis.

VED's stretch tissue.  Even if scar tissue is forming, stretching the tissue helps prevent the scar tissue from scarring down and robbing size.

The bump you feel is likely plaque on your tunica.  It is essentially non-elastic scar tissue.