Undiagnosed erectile issues since i was 17. Now 23. Please help.

[2WisePandas]

Hello im looking for some advice and this seemed like the best place, as my issues are damaging my life to a extent i cant let go much longer.

Basically, ever since 16/17, ive had some sort of issue with my penis. The first thing i should mention is i have a very large curve (begining about half way down the shaft) to my penis. It essentially is a banana shape which doesn't exactly make sex easy (it bends down, so missionary is a struggle).

While this alone doesnt make my situation dire, additionally to this is suffer from very poor erectile quality. I struggle to get erect when im standing up and i loose my erection very easily unless im constantly stimulated. This is with a woman or masturbating. The head of the penis is often soft and not fully hard. Although i cant confirm this 100%, im strongly convinced my penis has shrunk in size over the years, by atleast half a inch or more when erect (i measured it when i was a teenager numerous times).
I didnt lose my virginity until i was 19 but before this i was already struggling at all to remain as hard as a used to when i was 14-15 years old for example. Pretty much as a result ive always had sex taking a moderate dose of Cialis. Ive considered not taking it at times but i dont get laid that often as it is, cant risk it not working at all on the first night of business. EVEN then, often my erection will fail with cialis in my system, especially condoms which instantly remove any chance of me staying hard thereafter.

Im not sure if this is related to my issue, but ive never actually came from penetrative sex oral sex etc or even a woman touching me, ive always had to masturbate my selfoff afterwards personally. Often to Porn. As a result im unable to maintain a relationship. Again im not sure if this is related to my issue, i still get erectile issues from pornography as well and during masturbation but i can finish (i feel like this is a result of lack of regular sexual partners but im not able to comment).

Does this sound like a Psychological issue or a physical issue or a bit of both as im at my wits end. Im tired of being different and not working correctly. Its so frustrating as i know there at this point there HAS to be something wrong but ive never had a answer or thing i can call it.

Ive seen a few GPs over the years and they just told me either its in my head or tried to scare me away by saying id need surgery fory curve and handed me a prescription for viagra.

Thanks for reading if you did, any advice would he great. Hard to get a referral to a urologist in the UK sadly at the moment as GPs for me have never been much help at all.

[Hawk]

Welcome to the forum 2WisePanda,

If you never get a very firm, solid erection even at night or in the mornings when you wake up then it is likely physical.

At what age did you first notice the curve and did you ever have an injury?

Also, if someone told you they could fix you with surgery, why did that scare you off?

Finally, if you had a cooperative partner, could you masturbate to orgasm just looking at and touching her body?  Do you need more and more intense pornography scenes to arouse you?

[2WisePandas]

Thank for you for response.

I sometimes get mornings erections but rarely, and they are quite "spongy" not that hard. The head is always soft unless im on cialis.

I first noticed it around 17 i think, although it could of been earlier. It was years before i was sexually active.

Honestly i dont think so, i find it very difficult to orgasm at all. I almost have to pretend the other person isn't there (with porn) to finish. I do have some more extreme porn tastes than when i was younger, but as i said, i get erection issues with it regardless, the only difference is i reach orgasm with porn. Maybe with a consistent partner it would improve but sadly especially in young people this is a very unusual issue and i think likely is what ended most ive had.

And at the time surgery put me off as it was a random GP appointment and i wasnt even examined. Ive also heard the surgery for Peyronies Disease can worsen erectile dysfunction and sometimes shorten the penis which scared me as mine has already shrunk a bit already.

[Hawk]

I think until you consult with an excellent urologist, you will not get many answers.  Most urologists do not fit this description.  

I suspect you have congenital curvature, meaning not a progressive situation like Peyronies Disease but rather a static condition from birth.

The absence of regular erections is not healthy for the penis and could have caused some atrophy, but the only way you can track that is with very objective measurements, not by subjectively looking at it.  Do consistent measurement at 3 places with erect girth if you can get a good erection (even with Cialis).  Also take a very firmly pressed bone-pressed measurement of your flaccid penis stretched straight out from the body (BPSFL).  Do it 3 times to make sure you have a maximum length and use the same rules each time (once a month).

Consider taking over-the-counter L-arginine 3000 MG divided into 3 doses with a little food or a full meal in your stomach.

See if a doctor will prescribe very cheap Trazadone at the dose of 1/2 of a 50mg tablet at bedtime with a little snack.  It is often prescribed for sleep but has the side-effect of NTE's.  You can tell a dr that you have some issues getting to sleep and that you need the side benefit of NTE's for penile health.

Finally, I would stay away from porn.  The less you masturbate, the more prone you will be to get frequent erections.  It will also re-sensitize you to real-life sex rather than extremes and fantasies that real sex will never match.

PS: Mouse over the highlighted words for explanations/definitions.  

[Mikel7]

Welcome to the forum 2WisePandas ! You will find a lot of information here and some good community also. Search the forum as you may not be the only one with your specific problem.  Mike