Delays and Waiting

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Event_Horizon

Hi everyone, back again. So my ultrasound examination was scheduled for April 2nd (last Friday). It didn't happen. The ultrasound tech called in sick. I was informed via phone call at 9 AM on Friday morning. I then asked about rescheduling. Apparently, my urologist (who I really like) is going into a prolonged surgical phase for his practice, and won't be doing ultrasound appointments again until July.

So that will put me at 11-12 months with this condition as of July. I'm struggling with the wait. Any advice?

I was hoping that the ultrasound would give me peace of mind. That needle would go in, and I'd be scared, but once my erection shot up and the tunica expanded, I'd look and say "oh thank God it works." Then my sweet doctor would walk in and say "no venous leak. We'll look for scar tissue and get back to you." The erection would go down eventually, I'd get in the car with my parents (who were in town for Easter) and I'd go back to my life knowing that I have a fully functional, albeit injured, penis that is on the long road to recovery. I'd lay down at night knowing that I was okay.

A week or two later: the results. No scar tissue detected. The tunica had remodeled. The collagen needed more time to get back up to strength and regain some elasticity. It might be 2 years. Well worth the wait.

Or, the needle would go in, and there wouldn't be a response. The tunica would buckle. The penis would be unstable. My doctor would walk in and tell me "we can't force you to live with this." I'm in the NY-NJ area, so I'd call up Dr. Eid's office. He'd listen to me and we'd start the process. My parents would be by my side just like they were with my other two major surgeries in life. I'd cry from the pain, and I know pain a little bit (not like some of the brave men on this forum, but a little). I had major chest surgery twice and when I woke up from the first, they had no anesthetic available. A doctor sprinted across the hospital to get some while I felt the full intensity of surgical pain. I still think of his kindness.

But I'd sleep soundly knowing that I would be safe from Peyronie's forever. I will be free of this evil and my every step will be lighter than air. I'll step out into the world knowing that I have nothing to be afraid of, and when I do finally fall in love, it'll only be a few pumps before I am ready to enjoy sex. Up until that point, I can focus exclusively on making my partner feel good in all possible ways and in all aspects of our lives. One day, I'd need another surgery. But I'd be ready. And I'd take it in stride.

Instead, I wake up every morning trying to figure out if I have a venous leak, if the curve is getting worse, if I can fix the indentation, etc.

My family is so supportive, and they've completely changed their tune over the past few months. It went from "let's not rush into things, it will go away soon" to "use that VED for me son. Fight. Please don't give up. We're with you. Keep taking the Cialis and supplements. I see what this is doing to you. We will do everything in our power to help you beat this horrible condition."

I know that I shouldn't use the term "implant" but my family has told me "if that's what the doctors say, we're here for you." I talk to them about my fear of injections for life. I showed my mom the VED and told her how afraid I was of the constriction bands and that this might be the only way I get to have sex ever in my life. My parents just hug me and tell me that it's going to be alright.

I'm working on improving my happiness, but it's so hard. I want to recover, but I still think I need help. My new therapist is awesome. I love my urologist, his kind, tired eyes, and his genuine care for me as a person, not me as a customer. My life is incredible. I ask for only one thing, and that's to be free of Peyronie's and ED. If I can manage that, I truly will be the happiest man alive, because I will know every gift I have, and I will have known what it was like to have suffered anxiety, depression, and despair. My scars will fade and leave me stronger than I could have ever imagined.
24 yrs old
injury July, diagnosed October 2020: "Very minimal thickening on right side near base."
Curve 4 degrees left. Lump & indentation on right ~1-2 mm. Mild ED.
Ultrasound scheduled April 2021.
Tadalafil + L-Arginine + CoQ10. Starting VED

Mikel7

Event_horizon,
  So it sounds like you have some sort of a battle plan and your family's support.  I see you are 24 and you still have a lot of life and living to do. You must tell yourself that this part of your life will pass and you will make it through it. Don't try to make up mental scenarios about this - it only leads you down the road to worry. You say you like your Dr and that is good, but if you can't get the services you want maybe you should investigate the possibility of going to another Dr for your ultrasound? Just because you get an ultrasound from someone doesn't mean you have to stay with them. You are in the USA are you close to Chicago?  Dr Levine is accepting new patients and he will do an ultrasound on your initial visit. If you have insurance the cost is minimal - otherwise I think it is around 1,600.00 or so. Just an idea - don't ever lock yourself into one mindset of ideas.  :)  Mike
Lump 4/2020, age 62 , Dr Levine 6-26-20, Dors Curve 11/2020, Peyronies
Vit E400mg, COQ10, Heat Therapy, Penimaster, Pentox, Cialis, Restorex
SNHL 7/2020 - Stopped all Meds because ototoxicity  Heat/traction/VED are working. CPPS Diagnosis - Stable :)

Hawk

I encourage you to utilize these resources.  If you apply them, they will make a big difference throughout your long life.----> https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,13846.0.htmlt
Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums