Physical vs. Psychogenic ED

[Event_Horizon]

After my injury in July, I noticed weaker erections, but sometimes they were fine, so I attributed it to pandemic stress. I'm 24, stupid, and believed I was invincible. In September, I got force quarantined by my University because my close friend tested positive for the virus. The ED got worse over those 2 weeks.

In September, I thought to myself "thank God I don't have ED. I must not have Peyronie's." The doctor said "Could be Peyronie's. See a urologist." I then went 4 days without an erection. When the uro diagnosed me in October, he palpated HARD to find the "thickening." That hurt a lot though, and the pain came and went for months after. I'm almost pain free now.

With Cialis starting in December, I barely see a deformity. But the ED is beyond distressing. The more stressed I am with work (I'm a graduate student under a lot of pressure right now), the worse it gets. The deformity may be worse than I'm realizing. I don't feel comfortable sharing pictures. Maybe I shouldn't.

Could this be physical? Could I have had scar tissue remodel to healthy tissue (what my new uro thinks), a cessation of pain, and STILL be left with incurable ED? I'm getting an erect ultrasound in April on Good Friday, but if I'm left with a venous leak diagnosis, even a slight one, then I don't know how I'll react.

That's game over, right? Could a VED fix my ED? I tried without shaving and it didn't work---no vacuum at all. I'll shave and try again. I'm scared.

I'm a practicing Catholic, and I've thought about becoming a priest before. But I didn't want my call to come from a uro. We're living our nightmares when we should be fulfilling our dreams.

I have remained a virgin, and now I'm terrified of the idea of ever having sex. What if I can't perform? I can't put someone I truly love through that.

I've been trying to avoid anti-anxiety meds, but Peyronie's is interfering with my work now. I've been on track to publish some great findings, and I just want to be around to enjoy my work, love my friends and family, and hopefully one day be a good dad and a good husband. I'm sure many of you are wonderful fathers, grandfathers, and husbands. I'm hoping you can help as I feel very vulnerable right now. God bless you all. You're all so much stronger than I am. I pray we're all truly healed and most importantly, happy.  

[Hawk]

Event_

One only has to read your post to realize that you are ruminating negative thoughts and stressing.  If a man cannot get an erection because there is a death squad waiting for him outside of his front door, that does not mean he has erectile dysfunction.  You have to have mental and physical stimulation in the absence of adrenalin.  Adrenalin is a stress hormone and a nitric oxide blocker.  It shunts blood away from non-vital areas of the body.  You cannot possibly evaluate your degree of Erectile Dysfunction while obsessing over whether your penis or your life are destroyed and fretting how to respond through life-choices.

I know it is a circular dilemma, but you cannot evaluate your Erectile Dysfunction while you are stressing over Erectile Dysfunction.  

I know you might reject this because you think you are too busy, it is too simplistic, or for other reasons, but there are concrete things that change our happiness if we work on them.  One is meditation.  Not something I, by nature, gravitate to, but it works for a multitude of reasons.  One reason is it teaches you to stop ruminating on negative thoughts and how to let them pass.  It takes a little time to learn, but you WILL get it if you are consistent for a week.  Here is about the best free site around.  It also has a 7-day learning course for beginners.              www.insighttimer.com

[Event_Horizon]

Hi Hawk,

I definitely don't reject the advice. It means a lot to me that you would take the time to reply. Thank you. I did a meditation today. I had been keeping up with a daily practice for months, but as I started to get better, I discontinued it as I thought I was "through the fire" so to speak. Not yet.

I guess if it's truly psychological, it's reversible right? And the erect ultrasound would show me that? I'm okay. If it takes me three years to reverse it, I'm okay. I'd only be 27 then. I can make it through that for sure.

Therapy does work. I will go back to it. My internal voice is kinder, but it gets mean on occasion. Thank you for providing the kind words when I couldn't provide them for myself. I hope you know how much your words are appreciated.

EH

[Mikel7]

I agree with Hawk. Stressing over a thing with evil forebodings is not going to produce anything good. You need more evidence and investigation. The ultrasound may prove to be a tool to show you where to go from here. I live one day at a time hoping today will be better than yesterday. Here you will find a lot of great information and support - your a grad student so start reading up.  

[Event_Horizon]

Hi mikel7, I agree with you and Hawk. I'll work on better living one day at a time. Things have been opening up. Good signs in a lot of different parts of life. It's a long road ahead, but I'm okay.

Thank you.

Also, as a (trying to be good) graduate student, I've definitely done some reading. I have a full 25 page powerpoint I brought with me to my last appointment to ask about all treatment options, evaluate my deformity, point out locations of pain, etc. complete with anatomical charts, citations to the literature (much of which I was directed to by reading this forum) and pros-and-cons analyses of each treatment option. I have a feeling that I need to read more on my own work since if I'm not careful, citations to Levine, Lue, Ziegelmann, Trost, and others will appear in my papers.

Such a mis-step would prompt a number of "interesting" discussions at conferences, once they are in person again.

Cheers, EH