My husband has Peyronies Disease, any women out there in the same boat?

[Cherry11]

My husband was diagnosed with Peyronies Disease last year, he has withdrawn and got v depressed and the few fumbles we have had in the past year have been a disaster. He feels pressured to satisfy me and I feel pressure to enjoy it. How can we get the physical intimacy back into our relationship? I am desperately wanting sex and I don't see a way out. We are both 50, fit and generally in good health. Is there hope? I miss his penis, I miss the feeling of fullness of it inside me, I miss pleasuring him, I miss touching him. Sorry, not sure what I am wanting here, there is no one to talk to about this and I feel so alone. He just will not talk to me about it. There doesn't seem to be any help for partners of Peyronies Disease. I have tried sex toys, porn, but it is just not the same. Am I wrong to look elsewhere for sex? I cannot bear a life without sex ever again. The last year has been so stressful and I love my husband dearly, but having no sex is making me want to give up on our relationship. He is on a waiting list for an OP but we are waiting a year now. Is there anything he can do to improve his curved cock? Thanks for reading this far.  

[Anton36]

How much degree ?

[TonySa]

Cherry, there is a partners sub forum that Stabler can give you access to.  You may want to PM her.  Welcome!

[Pfract]

Hey cherry11. All of what you are feeling is very valid. It is unfortunate that your husband has closed himself about this, when he should be doing the exact opposite which is opening up to you, reach out for support and try to vent out what frustrates him in regards to his problem. Ignoring this is never the solution. But as sad as it is, it is not uncommon.

It's always easy to see the right thing to do when we are not living that scenario, but it's safe to say this situation cannot go on. For your sake and his. There are fortunately solutions that solve both peyronies and Erectile Dysfunction if he has both, with close to 100% satisfaction rate. I wonder if he is familiar with the treatments available? has he refused to seek treatment? Does he know about pills? vacuum pumps? implants? injections?

How long has this been going on? What you can and should do in my opinion is try to have a sit down with him and clearly state "how sad, depressed and frustrated you are, for not having sex and the intimacy that you deserve. That you both deserve.". And voice that out clearly in these very words. If he still doesn't care, try again. Give him time to process this..... After some reasonable time, if he took no action and ignored you, threaten him that you will take action and question him if he wants to end up losing you because that's what things are leading up to. IF he still refuses to take action, you know what to do.

You will also have a clear conscience, knowing that you tried your best to voice out your concerns and save out the marriage. Then maybe he will come to his senses but it will already be too late. IT's a shame really, that many men don't seek help and think that it is acceptable to pretend Erectile Dysfunction and lack of intimacy isn't a problem.

Best of luck on this. We are here for you in case you want to talk. I may be a bit more blunt than others here, but i mean no harm and i am as sincere and as honest as i can be.

Keep as posted.

[agranderson2019]

 Cherry,

Don't leave your husband. The pain and depression he's experiencing is so brutal on a man. I don't know you, and don't know how good of a relationship you have. But maybe suggest he get an implant? Apparently those can pretty much fix everything. He's 50 anyway so they will do it for him at that age. If he goes the implant route instead of surgery then he probably won't lose any length. Try to support him and give him some time. Don't look elsewhere for sex. If you love him just take it a little further and hang in there. Just my opinion.  

[Stabler]

Cherry,

Okay so I have not posted on this thread yet because I wanted you to hear from the men of this forum so that they could help you see things from your husbands point of view. These men can tell you the things that your husband is going through first hand.

Now I am speaking to you as a woman. Your husband needs your support, he needs to know that you are there for him no matter what, even if he can't have sex. I'm certain that your wedding vows did not say love and honor as long as we can have sex. I'm sure that sounds harsh but this man needs your support. Try to open up communication with him find ways to be close that don't involve sex at this point. This is not going to be a fast fix and he may need some space to deal with all of this, but he needs to know you are not going anywhere and that your aren't going to cheat.

Stabler  

[jan.schaller1958]

Great post, Stabler.

The husband needs to know he is cared for and supported. Cheating or asking for an open relationship conveys the opposite message. Like you said, the vows, if meant sincerely, were ,,till death do us part", not ,,till death do us part as long as your penis is straight and keeps working."

Or flip it around. What if wife (and I sincerely hope this never happens) were to lose a breast to breast cancer and husband said, ,,Gee. It's just not the same anymore. How about an open relationship? Otherwise I may have to just file for divorce." That sure would be cruel. Any guy who would say something like that wouldn't be worth having.

It's an imperfect analogy, I know, but it's somewhat similar. Just something to think about.