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Heyyou

I am really depressed and annoyed.. I woke up today because of pain ... what the hell I am going through.... whyyyyyyyyyyyyy should I go through this ?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

Hawk

Heyyou,

Are you asking for help with your feelings and thoughts or just announcing that you don't want to try anything and that you are giving up?
Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

TonySa

Heyyou, it seems you do not have Peyronie's but two conditions that do need treatment: Erectile Dysfunction and depression.  Both can impact the other so it is crucial you update both docs on how the other condition is while you go for treatment.  Start w the doc prescribing the anti-depressant and let them know you're having Erectile Dysfunction problems.
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

Heyyou

I need help guys i do not know what is happening to me ... the shape of my penis erect and flaccid has completely changed and I also see that it got more skin inside so it became thicker which makes the erections hard to achieve specially when standing ...  
34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

DarthPronius

@Heyyou

You are not alone in feeling like this in dealing with Peyronie's, with not being able to have sex and feeling like your life is ruined. I feel like this often also. But there are so many good things in the world to experience, even the tiny small things, if you just decide to keep living and stay in the world and inhabit the body that that your mother went through so much pain to give birth to.

One thing that has helped me is to go to user NeoV's youtube channel (Neoman on youtube), if you haven't, and see those videos about dealing with Peyronie's. He has gone through a lot and seems to have gotten better, and now he has a lot of good info and wisdom to share about dealing with Peyronie's.

Also, try focusing on your general health. Your doctor, like most doctors, will not tell you do do some things that I think are helpful - like exercise, stretching, pelvic floor exercises. Peyronie's is an incredibly difficult disease but it will make you so much more aware of your body and your lifestyle. Do you spend a lot of time sitting? What is your diet? Do you drink a lot of water? If you are getting to the point of wanting to commit suicide, then ANYTHING you do or try would be a better choice. Be tough and disciplined and don't give up!

This is my favorite quote, from Shakespeare's Hamlet. I wonder if, even if you commit suicide, you will still deal with "Peyronie's" or something like it in the afterlife:

"To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die—to sleep,
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause—there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of dispriz'd love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovere'd country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action."
Age 37. First symptoms Jan 2019. Small (4mm) calcified plaque near head, and narrowing near plaque, last 1/3 of shaft. Used pentox for 1 year. Still using tadalafil 5mg, coq10. VED & mild traction helping w/ erection quality

TonySa

Your thoughts on this?

Heyyou, it seems you do not have Peyronie's but two conditions that do need treatment: Erectile Dysfunction and depression.  Both can impact the other so it is crucial you update both docs on how the other condition is while you go for treatment.  Start w the doc prescribing the anti-depressant and let them know you're having Erectile Dysfunction problems.
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

Heyyou

I went to urologist today and he said I do not have Peyronies and even if I have he cannot do anything after at least year and a half ..:. Any suggestions as this is blowing my mind now ?!!!!!!
34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

Heyyou

Everyday I wake up in the morning thinking on why did I go to that hospital and stretched my penuis up which caused me all of this issues everyday .... every single day
And when I check my penuis now and I find out it has weakness and it is not like before I want to suicide everyday I am thinking about suicide
My only wish in life was to get married and have as many kids as I can have and life a happy sexual life with my wife now I do not know how will I do this ... can I get married have kids life a happy life as the normal people or will I live alone even if I got married will my wife be happy with me or she will look at me as if I am no man or half man
How can I continue my life with all of these thoughts I do not know
I would like to thank everyone who helped me with a comment or a personal message but these thoughts are blowing my mind everyday
I do not want to depend on pills or have an implant I would rather live alone but not have issues with a poor girl who does not have  
34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

Hawk

HeyYou,

I contacted you personally about resources for help.  Tell me what you found out from those resources and the other resources at the top of this board.  This board is about seeking ideas and help and applying them. Posts about suicide are taken down.  This is the same policy that YouTube all other forums have unless you are on a forum dedicated to mental health issues.

Hawk
Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

Heyyou

Hawk i really appreciate ur help I am just really depressed
I will get help from the people I trust around me however all I need is to prove to my inner self that I am capable of having a wife that is it  
34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

Hawk

Yes, you are really depressed.  That is why we want to know what you are doing about that.  The answer is treating your mind, not your penis.
You are obsessing far beyond your reasons for worrying.  You are discussing and practicing suicide.

You are convinced that self-stretching of your penis one time in an MRI caused Peyronies Disease when self-stretching is a common treatment.
Drs told you you do NOT have Peyronies Disease Diagnosis.
In spite of what doctors say, you are obsessing over the perceived shape of your penis when semi-erect
You are obsessing over not getting an erection at certain times, never accepting that it is the obsessing that is causing your Erectile Dysfunction.

You are waiting for changes in your penis to change your thoughts.  That is not how it works. Your thoughts are depressive and obsessing.  If your penis meets your expectations, your mental condition will attach to something else.   Follow the resource at the top of the psychology board and treat your real problem, THEN report back about what you are doing.

PS: I changed the title of this topic so I did not have to delete it.
Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

Heyyou

Hi hawk
Thank you for offering to help me I appreciate it
However I can feel from your words that you are picking up on me please do not do that
I am sure that stretch was the cause of my injury otherwise what caused it?!!
On the other hand yes i do not have Peyrones (curve, plagues) but I had symptoms like hourglass, pain and so on
I am sure a damage happened somewhere inside that is why the shape has completely changed and my weak erections
So has something happened (yes) but if u are saying the cause was not the stretch i respect it
Off course this affected me mentally big time because my dream was to get married and have kids
Now I am not sure
So I have to coop with this and deal with it everyday
Imagine you were saving money to buy a house to get married and all of the sudden u get this how would u feel
I hope no one will be in the same situation

34 yrs Old
Single
Light to Moderate Peyronies Disease started July 2020 (undiagnosed)
Treatment - Some VED
Bend to the left when semi-erect
Developed ED for no known reason Jan 2021 requires constant physical stimulation
No Treatment tried for ED

Hawk

"Otherwise what caused it"
HeyYou, men often develop Peyronies Disease for no clear cause.  There are thousands on this forum in that category.  And, with you, all the evidence suggests you do not have Peyronies Disease.  What do you think about the thousands of men who do manual and/or mechanical traction for hours a day?  They pull harder and for a far longer time than you did AND much more often.

How could any man with depression and stress and anxiety that drives them to attempt suicide have strong erections?  You have repeatedly said that sometimes your erections are fine in the morning and even when standing, and sometimes they are not.  Physical ED does NOT come and go.   Why is it so difficult for you to see your ED is caused by stress and anxiety and not by physical causes?

HeyYou, you are convinced that all your dreams and happiness are over with very little evidence.  That is mental obsessing.  It is panic and stress.  Put all of your energy into treating your mind, and you will find that your penis is fine.

Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

shaddyK

Been there, try a good therapist.
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