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Author Topic: Just realised  (Read 141 times)

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beentheredonethat

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Just realised
« on: July 29, 2020, 08:19:58 PM »

Just realised. Like...all these years. All the fallouts. The negative attitudes. The personality traits. My problem is this. Its always been this. I can shift blame to anything  else..but deep down. Its this. The feeling of being fukn robbed. Robbed of normal sexual activity throughout my teenage years etc.

Iv been thinking of looking for help.. eg. Someone to talk to. As its starting to really affect my relationship (in my head) but making me aiserable prick with everything else. But who to talk to... man... who dl u actuslly talk to? There is no help for this crap mentally. This forum is as good as it gets-and thats the fukt bit
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peter123

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2020, 08:43:43 PM »

Just realised. Like...all these years. All the fallouts. The negative attitudes. The personality traits. My problem is this. Its always been this. I can shift blame to anything  else..but deep down. Its this. The feeling of being fukn robbed. Robbed of normal sexual activity throughout my teenage years etc.

Iv been thinking of looking for help.. eg. Someone to talk to. As its starting to really affect my relationship (in my head) but making me aiserable prick with everything else. But who to talk to... man... who dl u actuslly talk to? There is no help for this crap mentally. This forum is as good as it gets-and thats the fukt bit


the kind of obvious answer is a therapist, someone actually trained to do that kind of stuff. I am seeing one and yeah, not done anything so far especially because all potential progress is burned alive by peyronies progression. its so crazy, I somewhat really want to life but ill most likely end up killing myself because I can't cope anymore and im doing everything I can. when you reach that stage and still feel like nobody can relate and to ever be happy you literally have to delude yourself into thinking things you care about dont matter, if you dont literally make yourself ignorant which is not possible in my opinion then the end of the road has been reached. when you feel so disconnected to everyone around and nobody can actually reach you.

I often feel like I was genetically born to be a bitter short bald man with a small disfigured penis. born to be sexually inferior, a charicature. saying my personality has suffered or been undermined by this is a laughable understatement.
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onset of symptoms in February 2020 initial pain when flaccid only which has since improved. 20deg left curvature, loss of girth indent
started oral treatment in march, currently on Potaba 12mg 1200mg Pentox, 2.5mg Taladafil and L-arginin
very depress

TonySa

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2020, 09:02:49 PM »

Hi been there, it’s great your inquiring about support.  I’d consider any therapist  or psychologist that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.  They teach one how to change their automatic thinking which really can improve ones mood.  Another benefit is then one is in much better shape to address their Peyronies Disease treatment.  If you’re ever feeling suicidal, also consider antidepressant medication w a good doc, NP or PA.  Hang in there and let us know how it’s going in reaching out.
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PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

beentheredonethat

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #3 on: July 31, 2020, 08:53:03 PM »

  Hang in there and let us know how it’s going in reaching out.


Im sweet. Just pisst the fk off! Just feeling as im getting older that alcohol may not actually solve this for me... and that a actual proper meldown might be coming. As for old mate in the comments above. I totay get ya man. And theres no fukn therapist that can even begin to understand! Out of the blue question here but... i work with a dude who recently got locked up... do uz ever think what it wpuld be like to have to do the jail/shower thing? Can u imagine how much crap ud get
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beentheredonethat

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #4 on: July 31, 2020, 08:55:26 PM »


 saying my personality has suffered or been undermined by this is a laughable understatement.

I know right!? Like when u actualy think about it properly... i got stoned the other night and saw absolute clarity.
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TonySa

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2020, 10:44:32 PM »

The right therapist can understand, and you might even find one like myself that also has Peyronie’s.
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PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

peter123

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2020, 11:36:22 PM »

The right therapist can understand, and you might even find one like myself that also has Peyronie’s.

no therapist good enough can fix being f'~c<+d so hard at life, im having nightmares when I think about my future and life, 7 years of youth lost to depression, sexuality lost to peyronies, 22 year old failure with a variety of mental health issues and thanks to covid no clinic, no psychiatric institution is interested in taking new patients. here I am, wanting to get treatment, wanting to get drugs and therapy. but here you quite literally have to self harm to get any attention. I need to do a suciide attempt in order to be noticed. but even then its only pumped full with meds. peyronies has taken my penis and sexuality and the worst mental f'~c<+d up thing is that its getting worse, I can watch my dick deform and there is nothing I can do about it. I thought becoming bald at 20 was a horrible thing with that loss of control over what is happened to your body. this however is something that in my case no therapist can fix. I have had so many sessions, there is not one piece of thought that has truly helped me. I can't cope at all and I realize that I am literally alone. the only people interested in the story are the ones on this forum. everyone else doesn't care, has not capacity and time

I honestly can't imagine much worse but then again I have been lectured int he past that things can always and often will get worse. and they won't get better either
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onset of symptoms in February 2020 initial pain when flaccid only which has since improved. 20deg left curvature, loss of girth indent
started oral treatment in march, currently on Potaba 12mg 1200mg Pentox, 2.5mg Taladafil and L-arginin
very depress

Hawk

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Re: Just realised
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2020, 09:34:33 PM »

And theres no fukn therapist that can even begin to understand! Out of the blue question here but...

A therapist does not have to understand Peyronies Disease. I good therapist will teach you how to control your thoughts whether you are a little stressed or whether you are rotting in a NAZI concentration camp.  The process is the same.  The traing is the therapists job.  The effort to apply it is your job.
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Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 68 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums
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