Peter 123 - Stress and Obsessing

[Hawk]

Peter,

You have to get a grip on things.  Obsessing is stressful.  stress does not help autoimmune situations like Peyronies Disease.

Are you doing any mindful meditation?  Have you looked at the Yale free course on Happiness and wellbeing?  If not, WHY NOT?

[peter123]

Peter,

You have to get a grip on things.  Obsessing is stressful.  stress does not help autoimmune situations like Peyronies Disease.

Are you doing any mindful meditation?  Have you looked at the Yale free course on Happiness and wellbeing?  If not, WHY NOT?

I should add that I am seeing a therapist for OCD and body dysmorphia and that its incredibly hard to not stress about things concerning my body and appearance. thats why this has kicked me so hard because the combination of the things im suffering from is not very good. again im trying to treat the obsessions and I understand that they are clinically relevant even  

[Hawk]

First link gives a photo.  The second link asks for a sign in.

My important unanswered questions are - Are you doing any mindful meditation?  Have you looked at the Yale free course on Happiness and wellbeing?  If not, WHY NOT?

[peter123]

First link gives a photo.  The second link asks for a sign in.

My important unanswered questions are - Are you doing any mindful meditation?  Have you looked at the Yale free course on Happiness and wellbeing?  If not, WHY NOT?

Because a course on happiness doesn't help when you think about shooting yourself everyday.  

[Hawk]

Peter,

There is nothing wrong with you physically that would prevent you from having a great life.  Remember that life does not have to be perfect to be great.  There is also nothing physically wrong with you that would prevent you from having a great relationship.

To say "I don't want to learn meditation or other skills that contribute to psychological wellbeing because I think about shooting myself" is more than a bit like saying "who can think about buying and taking a pain reliever when their dick hurts".  The solution to the problem is being avoided because of the problem.  The ONLY thing that will improve this is some work done at least every-other-day.  Unless you have an EXCEPTIONAL psychiatrist he is not going to get down to the nuts and bolts of helping you reframe a destructive thought process.  What probably seems to be intuitive solutions for fixing your psychological state is likely wrong.

The physical aspects of this Peyronies Disease are very unlikely to ruin your life or future relationships.  The psychological aspects very well could.  Don't think the best approach is to fix the psychological aspects by first focusing solely on the physical or you will be making a SERIOUS mistake.

[peter123]

it really shows that you aren't a 22 year old college student. you just dont understand it  

[Hawk]

Peter, THAT is a copout to avoid the discussion.  Because someone disagrees with you does not establish they don't understand the issue.  I could easily say because you have not gained the wisdom that comes from multiple life-stages you should follow me because at your age you could never be half so wise as I am.  That would be a false argument because first I set up a category you don't fit into then excluded that category from having any legitimacy.

I plead with you NOT to disregard insight because it is not yours or does not agree with your life view at the moment.  Clearly what you are doing now is NOT working.  If you are going to exclude everyone from the discussion that sees it differently and for whom it IS working then YOU will become your own worst enemy.  I have the advantage of vividly remembering being your age as clearly as if it were yesterday.  

The helps I recommended and that others your age have successfully used are far more readily embraced by college students than by most people my age.   They are based on newer findings.  In fact, it is a COLLEGE course taught to COLLEGE STUDENTS.  It is Yale's most popular course and it is offered to you for free.

[peter123]

Peter, THAT is a copout to avoid the discussion.  Because someone disagrees with you does not establish they don't understand the issue.  I could easily say because you have not gained the wisdom that comes from multiple life-stages you should follow me because at your age you could never be half so wise as I am.  That would be a false argument because first I set up a category you don't fit into then excluded that category from having any legitimacy.

I plead with you NOT to disregard insight because it is not yours or does not agree with your life view at the moment.  Clearly what you are doing now is NOT working.  If you are going to exclude everyone from the discussion that sees it differently and for whom it IS working then YOU will become your own worst enemy.  I have the advantage of vividly remembering being your age as clearly as if it were yesterday.  

The helps I recommended and that others your age have successfully used are far more readily embraced by college students than by most people my age.   They are based on newer findings.  In fact, it is a COLLEGE course taught to COLLEGE STUDENTS.  It is Yale's most popular course and it is offered to you for free.

Do you think I believe that I am mentally healthy and sound? No. I understand that this has completely hit me in the face, I'm in crisis mode since February. What you need to understand is that I have been body dysmorphic since I was a teenager, I spent 5 hours per day on average on my appearance for the last 4 to 5 years. My life is an absolute nightmare and it's really pathetic that I did not reach out for serious help before and now I am paying the price for it as peyronie's is probably the worst thing that could have happened in this situation. You woudknt believe all the crap I have done over the years, all the obsessions, daily measuring routines and what not. I know this is not working and that why I reached out for help. And that's thatm however this is still a nightmare and the worst thing is not knowing what to expect. This is the single worst thing for me. I could be fine and not have it progress for ever or I could have a progression of peyronie's and have a completely disfigured dick and sexuality in like what, a year? I'm 22, it's almost a given that peyronie's will come back at some point in my life. I agree that at 70 you probably have more life insight but that's not how it works. It could be that you are right but my situation is still as terrible and depressing for me in the now. And that's still valid

[Hawk]

Peter,

I am sorry for your pain.  Your depression IS valid and I recognize it.  My suggestions were specifically to deal with the depression but those suggestions even if they were a magic cure cannot help someone who won't try them.  I very much doubt that there will be anything discussed on the Psychological Aspects Board that you would be interested in trying so you are probably better off following your plan to explore physical treatments for the Peyronies Disease symptoms that are the topic of the other boards.  It is counterproductive to just repeatedly restate your dilemma and your challenges.

Best Wishes.

[Hawk]

This topic contained a lot of discussion of physical aspects of Peyronies Disease so the topics were split-out into a new topic and move from the psychological Aspects Board.

[Hawk]

Hontas, that is fine.  You are entitled to your opinion and your values that don't consider love to be real or relationships to be important.  You have a right to start a topic and put forth your views and discuss it with those interested in the discussion.  What people are not entitled to on this forum however is to repeatedly interject that opinion on topics started and owned by other members who have a different set of values.  

For instance, when a person says I feel bad because I want a relationship and feel I can never have one and a discussion ensues on things that person can do to fulfill their goals based on their values.  That is not a topic for someone to jump in and divert the conversation to the fact that women are not worth relationships, love itself in a fantasy, its never going to work and if you want a relationship you just as well kill yourself because that is what I consider doing

Such repeated conduct hijacks a person's topic.  It undermines the very purpose of this board which is DEALING WITH the Physical aspects of Peyronies Disease.  It is not Dismissing the Psychological Aspects of Peyronies Disease.

That would be true also if every time someone posted on the VED treatment board about the Protocol for a VED that someone jumped on arguing that Peyronies Disease is untreatable or my values say that God and nature allowed you to get Peyronies Disease so my philosophy is to let nature run its course.  That poster would have a right to their opinion but they do not have a right to disrupt and side-track topics started by other members who are looking for solutions.  If a member does not believe in physical treatments stay off of the treatment boards.  If they reject Psychological treatments then stay off of this board OR AT THE VERY LEAST they can start their own topic somewhere and discuss their opinion there to their heart's content.

Refusal to abide by such a simple concept is what got Popopo MUTED from posting the forum after repeated official warnings.  What got him PERMANENTLY BANNED from the forum was making an additional ID in violation of rules to try to bypass the mute sanction.   Fortunately members here are generally decent people that appreciate the forum so out of ten thousand members and fifteen years such instance can be numbered on your fingers.

[Hontas]

Ok man, its cool that you said all these things. Sad that Popopo got banned, what can you do... Maybe it is bugged but i see this topic under psychological component of peyronies board and i am sure Peter could easily speak out for himself if he disagrees with me. Thanks for keeping the forum safe for us, and i feel good to abide by forum rules.

[peter123]

Peter,

You have to get a grip on things.  Obsessing is stressful.  stress does not help autoimmune situations like Peyronies Disease.

Are you doing any mindful meditation?  Have you looked at the Yale free course on Happiness and wellbeing?  If not, WHY NOT?

At this point I am quite literally paralyzed. I feel so pathetic and have such a low self esteem gbag I cnat be used for anything. Tktakky fell down that howl and dysmorphia is killing me  

[Hawk]

Peter,

You of course you must already recognize that your issues and not the result of Peyronies Disease but rather more basic underlying conditions.  If you were restored back tomorrow to where you were pre-Peyronies Disease you would still be miserable until you fix the underlying psychological issues.


Hawk

[peter123]

Here is the bottom line, I have had depression and other mental health problems for many years. Peyronie's however kicked that especially the body dysmorphic aspect into insane overdrive, something it has never been so extreme. Which makes sense. It pushed me in the face and I don't know how to move on practically at all

[Hawk]

So Peter, to understand you better.  What is your very best hope or expectation on what you could get out of this psychological board on our forum?

are you open to listening and trying things you have not tried to see if they just might help even with say a 25% improvement in how you feel or is this mostly just a release mechanism for you to vent.?