Changing perception. Reducing stress. Improving happiness

[Holistic]

This is to anyone that could benefit from this,

As someone who before Peyronies experienced ED, anxiety attacks and moments of prolonged sadness after a break up and hearing bad news about one of my parent's health...I know what its like to have some degree of multiple mental states.

Some people on here currently have a more involved Peyronies Disease and some have are probably equal. What I can tell you is that mental states do change. We may not 100% notice because we focus on how bad we are feeling so it seems that life isnt as good as it could be. I can tell you that a lot of that is due to individual perception. How can someone who has no limbs be happier than someone with all 4 limbs? How can those with nothing be more happy than those with everything? It boils down to how we see the world. But it is not simple since practically non of us are trained to be aware of how we see the world.

We as humans have complex nervous systems and we have a capability for prolonged psychological suffering. which means we have a tendency to hold on to things and worry about the future. Which is where a lot of anxiety lies. We worry about this and that. i cant tell you how many times I got stressed thinking about what life would be like if i lost my girlfriend (which I did), if my parents die (which they will) and if my penis will ever be 100% as it was before (who knows). In life there is a lot of uncertainty. So we can choose to focus on it, or choose to focus on what we can control, what is right in front of us moment to moment. Doesnt seem like much but I can personally tell you it has given me a more peaceful perception on life. I can manage the pain my penis feels currently as I type this, I can manage my thoughts and manage my behavior towards this disease and my life. I used to think life and relationships revolved around sex. I thought being a man thought I needed to provide sex in a relationship, I thought erections and sexual prowess defined masculinity. My confidence and happines was derived from my penis. Once I got this Peyronies Disease, a lot came up at once. Thankfully I had been meditating for a few years prior and had a grounding perception coming in.

Mindfulness and Meditation. Science has proven that we can literally rewire our brains through neuroplasticity. Through daily meditation and practice of mindfulness you can experience a change in a lot of things and change the way you think. Doesnt happen over night or even months. I still am undergoing perceptual changes in the way I manage sex and women and relationships. I dove deep into this area and advocate this for anyone who is going through rough times.

Do I still experience stress, some anxiety, occasional pain and negative thoughts? I do. But I am able to see them for what they are..as passing thoughts and emotions. I have found inner confidence and inner happiness. If this condition progresses down the road, I will take it day by day. Moment by moment. I encourage others to relax their minds and give themselves a mental break. Find some peace and sanctuary.

What do you have in your life that you are currently grateful for?
What is currently in your control?
If you stopped thinking negatively...what do you think you would think about?
What else besides sex gives you a sense of excitement?
If you could replace the time you spent worrying, what would you do during that time that could benefit you?

Books that helped me:

The Obstacle is the Way - Ryan Holiday
Mindfulness in Plain English - Bhante Gunaratana
Managing Oneself - Peter Drucker
The Brain that Changes itself - Norman Doidge
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
Learned Optimism: How to change your mind and your life - Martin Seligman
Mindfulness for beginners - Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Miracle of mindfulness - Thich Nhat Hanh
The Heart of Tantric Sex - Diana Richardson
Why Men are the Way They Are - Warren Farrell (this book is from the 80s and is very controversial since its about the dynamic between men and women, but towards the end it talks about men who have insecurities with their penis and performance anxiety. That chapter really changed the way I looked at myself in a positive way. it gave me a sense of inner confidence and power back)

Apps that Help me:

Headspace - probably the best guided meditation app for starting mindfulness or meditation
Insight timer - free app with over 20K meditations/talks/music

[TonySa]

Very helpful post, thanks!

[Hawk]

Holistic, what a great, practical post with real solutions to some of the real problems we have control over.

It is probably worthy of being made a sticky post at the top of this board to replace or be combined with the one titled "A Few Resources."

What is amazing is that there are those suffering that won't even try these solutions.  As a result, their suffering becomes self-imposed.  

Our minds are incredibly powerful, enough so to cause real physical illness and physical changes in our bodies.  As such they must be managed but many of the things we intuitively do to seek happiness are just plain wrong.  Science has shown that something as simple and almost universal as our mind wandering down the trail of random thoughts can rob our happiness and sense of wellbeing.  

I encourage everyone with a mind to spend time learning to manage it just as you would with any new valuable piece of equipment.  It is so important that if Peyronies Disease or Erectile Dysfunction is what causes you to do that, it will have given you more than it took from you.

Thanks again for a solution-oriented post that we can all benefit from.