Not sure if I belong here, but searching for answers

[patsfan44]

Hello everyone, I have been reading through this site for a year or so as a guest and have finally made an account to access more posts on the forum.

My story about the little guy downstairs is a long one (as I'm sure everyone's is), but the short of it is during my senior year of high school (age 18) I couldn't get it up for the girl I was involved with - I think more than anything I was overthinking it because she had been the girl in my grade since middle school and I felt like I couldn't meet her standards - and since that point I think my issue to a degree has always been in my head. I went to see a uro, but as an 18 year old surrounded by men 3 times my age I felt intimidated and out of place, and wasn't as educated and mature enough to provide him with all my concerns. The doc had me go for an ultrasound, which I later found out was useless because the hospital I went to did not inject my penis to create an erection - and prescribed daily cialis for a month. The pills did nothing, but upon reviewing my "ultrasound" concluded that it was a psychological issue and not a physical one.

From that point on it nothing really changed and I was convinced there was something beyond psychology at play. I continued to masturbate to my partner's dismay, but it wasn't enjoyable by any means. It was more of a chore, I could get an ok boner around bedtime, about 60-75% of my best, but the second I touched it it would get worse and not better in quality. To maintain it during masturbation I had to maintain a vigorous pace which I think may have caused the damage of where I am today. The lack of confidence because of this led me to be reclusive in college and basically lose all confidence and not pursue romantic partners - in my sophomore year (age 20) I was able to have sex with a girl I really like, and I think the emotional connection helped a little. Best weekend of my life. Unfortunately this episode didn't cure me and the problem persisted.

From that point on I had a few other opportunities but wasn't able to get it up, and with all the commercials for the online pharmacies I strongly considered signing up (I still beleive if my first uro prescribed me viagra in high school, which he wouldn't do for someone "as young as me," it could have helped significantly), but chose to contact another, younger uro. He prescribed viagra, and it helped a little and provided a bit of mental boost, but the problem still persisted. He then referred me to another uro who specialized in sexual medicine. This doc performed blood tests, ultrasound (injections didn't produce a 100% erection - it was about 50%), and finally a cavernography. In the summer of 2019 I was diagnosed with arterial insufficiency and venous leakage. Receiving the diagnosis took a weight off of my shoulders - I knew it wasn't "all in my head." However, post test my dick ballooned up and I sort of mentally blacked out after he drained it of fluid and went over my test results. He said the office would call for a follow up appointment, but they did not. I finally called at the beginning of this year (2020) to get more info and just last week had a televisit with him to go over where I go from here - which brings me to why I am here.

As of now the doc says I can try injections, but inevitably I will have to get an implant. However, I am hesitant to do the injections for a couple reasons, 1 being I don't think I want to be pricking my prick, but the other being I think I have Peyronie's and everything I have read on here makes me extremely concerned about the potential consequences from injecting. In the written summary from my cavernography, dictated by a radiology student, indicated Peyronie's, but on my latest visit my doc said he doesn't believe I have it. From what he forwarded me following the appointment he contends he has rarely seen the development of Peyronie's from injections in his over 30 years experience, but even if it does happen it is correctible through an implant. That made me stop because I don't want an implant. Maybe I'm unwilling to accept the reality of my current situation, but knowing myself, I don't think it would allay my mental issues knowing I have a bionic cock. Making such a drastic, irreversible decision is daunting to me at my age and my current perspective of what my life could or should be. I'm young (23), in good health, smart, and apparently attractive - I'm not trying to boast by I have this conviction that what is happening to me should not be happening to me. I know what I'm capable of and I want to reach my highest potential. Maybe that means getting an implant, maybe it doesn't. Another aspect of it is how others, specifically women, will react to it. I feel like I've missed out on the years of going out to the bar and bringing a random chick home, or even asking a girl on tinder to come over and bang it out, and I'm not sure I'll be able to get that out of my system if I get the implant.  I know a real romantic partner theoretically shouldn't care whether it's artificial or not as long as it works, but currently I don't have the confidence to even pursue girls. Maybe I'm in denial, maybe I'm clinging to hope that doesn't exist, but I feel like I am so close to "normal" that I don't want to have the operation.

With everything I have read online the one name that keeps popping up is Dr Steven Morganstern and I plan to contact his office to get further information because at this point I have nothing to lose. I made this account to search his name on hear and read what people have to say. With what I've read it's hard for me to come to a conclusion. It feels like some of the people who claim to have went to him may or may not be real - some post once and never again - while others who knock him as snake oil haven't actually gone to his practice. But everywhere else I look it's the same treatment protocol ultimately resulting in an implant, and I'm not sure I want to go down that road just yet. If anyone can provide further information on him that would be greatly appreciated, and i will continue to read through the posts about him on here. If anyone can provide me further information or other forums like this it would be greatly appreciated as well, I know of FT and that will be my next stop.

Sorry for the length of this post, trust me it could be a lot longer, but just putting it out here makes me feel a lot better. Glad to be an official member of this society (whether I truly belong or not) because it provides a place for us to relate to one another in a world where our issues are considered not normal. To everybody on here, especially those going through troubling mental times, sending love and positive energy your way - one way or another you'll get through this and thanks for providing a level of comfort and security at a time when it is greatly needed.

[gsc55]

Did you ever reach out to the Morganstern Clinic in Atlanta? If so, did you go through any treatment program? Results?

[Mikel7]

This members post is almost 3 years old and it was his only one. I doubt if he will answer.