Hey Michiganguy,
I don't agree that just because you posted your plan means you're not really gonna do it. For all I know you drop this message here, read all of the replies and still end your life. There really is no way to tell just from this post.
I do think it's a good sign you posted here and appearantly still care enough to let us know. I hope you will still read our replies and that we are able to be somewhat of a support to you, but if not I really understand and respect your decision. I will be the last person to tell someone "ooh don't do it" or "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" or any of those cliché advices that never saved anyone.. not gonna do that.
What I do wanna say is that I have felt exactly the same and know what it's like. Sure, we're all different and have our own struggles and we all experience life in a different way, but I have often thought about suicide and still do on occasion. I know exactly how humiliated, angry, frustrated and maybe even disgusted you feel about yourself. It's like a part of your manhood is destroyed and nobody that doesn't have this disease can even imagine how that feels.
You will probably go trough hell and back. It will be a very painfull experience and the pain won't stop. It will hurt you till you hit rock bottom, but I hope you are like me and when you do hit rock bottom you'll slowly adapt. You can compare it to someone with excruciating
chronic pain. The pain will never go away, but even these people can manage the pain. Eventually you will get used to the pain and while it will never completely dissapear it will bother you less and less because you adjust. The mind is strong and it can adjust to even the most f'~c<+d up situations you can imagine.
I don't wanna tell you it's all gonna get better, cause I don't know.. but I know for a fact you CAN adapt to the situation. Right now you may feel like you don't enjoy anything life has to offer, but deep down you know that's not true. There are still things in life that can make you happy, things you enjoy doing and keep you busy. Even if you never had sex in the rest of your entire life, there are still A LOT of things that can bring you joy. Think about your family, think about friends, think about music, think about motorcycles, think about cars or whatever the hell it is that you enjoy. There's gotta be SOMETHING you enjoy or at least used to enjoy.
I hope you'll find out what it is for you and get busy doing that. If you die you will get rid of your problems, but you're no longer able to enjoy it. It would make no sense to destroy all of you, just because parts of you are damaged. It would not make sense to deny yourself ALL of life's pleasures just because you get less sexual pleasure. It seems like a way out, but it's not, you'll only destroy yourself worse than you are now.
Right now do whatever it takes for you to get trough the day/night. If that means smoking a fat joint, skipping work or laying in bed all day so be it. For now all that matters is that you do not take your life. From there you can plan ahead and start to do things that benefit you long term.
I hope you'll find a way to deal with this. It won't be easy, but I really believe you can do this.