I want to fkin die

[Daniel2222]

Bro F~@< this BS disease i am so F^@$!ng tired of it. Started taking supplements and l arginine improved the blood flow trough my penis . Started getting F^@$!ng erections everyfucking day during classes and crap. Today i got a hard erection in my tight umderwear and it was directly facing it. I couldnt get up my chair but eventually i had to and when i did it just  hurt. My dick hurt and after a minute it just went to flaccid and now it feels like burning. If i injured myself for the 3rd time and if it just goes even worse* i might have already been in an active stage anyways due to possible recent injury* then i will literally commit suicide. Im done with it. Being a grower doesnt help neither.
I hate whining and being a crybaby but if my condition and deformity gets worse then i wont think twice about suicide. F~@< this BS and F~@< this unfair life.

[Whyisthishappening]

no man do not do anything stupid we may find a solution here you are very young you can fight

[Daniel2222]

I wont do anything. At least for 6 or 12 months until im sure this crap has stabilised. If the curve ( curves now because one is upward one is to the left) goes worse even if i try to do gentle hand traction and i take some supplements that i know wont help me with the peyronie overall but just with the blood flow through the penis.
This community is full of kind and awesome people but as i said if this gets worse i guess thats it..i already have more problems..i sleep around 6 or 7 hours a day because i gotta study a lot. I barely have free time for my hobbies which are guitar playing , programming and gaming ( started going to gym as well but im a skinny F~@< because i used to get bullied a lot in the school for being slightly overweight so i just refused to eat for weeks..that was during my puberty so my growth overall might have been affected by it. I got so skinny that if i would have did that crap for few more weeks i could have died. Thanks god i didnt become an anorexic (perhaps i was anorexic mentally but noylt physically. So ye now i try to do something about even tho i think that my trouble packing muscle andmy chronic fatigue might be caused by low testosterone which might in fact be caused by my depression anxiety stress and lack of sleep.)
Anyways you get the idea..there are even more. I feel like i dont fit in this world and i feel like beside my lovely parents and sister and my dog no one gives a F~@< about me. I try my best to act nice to everyone but everyone seems to end up using me and abusing me mentally...making me so miserable.

The last thing that i need is my manhood being taken from me.i feel less masculine as days go by...which sucks. As i said if crap gets way worse i guess suicide would be my only option.

I dont want to brag about it and i know in fact people that commited suicide and i know it isnt cool..and it hurts the family and stuff..but what can you do in a world where the only way to stop the pain is by stoping to breathe.

I hope that everyone else here is more mentally strong than i am. And to clarify suicide is just a thought for me right now...first i have to see what will happen in the next year and perhaps decide if i would try to pursue my dreamjob and stuff..but what good is it for...i will not have anyone probably to count on...everyone will eventually leave. Even my dog...he s slowly aging and getting closer to his last breath. He s no longer that cheerful but he comes to me everytime i break down and starts licking me which feels so good..knowing that he cared about me so much.. he s the only one i talk to about my problems which might sound like i am a freak but at least he doesnt judge me .
Anyways this disease is a piece of crap i wish this wouldnt have existed and that errect penises would have been hard as steel and would never break or bend or fracture or whatever.
Actually that might be quite painful for the person you have sex with so nevermind. Not a good idea

[Inkognito]

Does it still hurts?One day of pain doesnz  mean that there will bre new plaques... Time will tell. Even couple days of pain..

[NeoV]

I'm so sorry you feel like hell. I have been there for many years before I was fortunate enough to get out. I wish I could see you in person.

[Godisreal]

I'm one year older than you, and the first months were mentally shattering for me.
Those months are very important for character development, tho, and that's pure facts.
You need to strive and prosper; I recognize the feelings and mental states that you're blasting out here on the forum, you're very much like me.
In this disease, knowledge is power, the more you learn the better you feel and the more you realize you're not so bad off. Please, trust me on that.
Everything will be fine.
Have some faith, young blood.

[Daniel2222]

Sorry for not answering anyone. I was feeling like crap .
Inkognito it only hurt at that particular moment..and perhaps some mild itchyness and aching that i was still getting 3 weeks ago after i said that i might have reinjured myself during sleep. So it wasnt really new but it was really painful when i got that F^@$!ng erection..i get way strong erections after i started l-arginine but i dont want to break my sensible penis with one. i do light light traction but not for a lot of time cause i do not really have it and i take hot baths and massage my penis slowly.

Neov thanks a lot you are a real good influence on me. Without your videos i would have lost hope long time ago . So basically the fact that you managed to recover without stupid injections and surgery really gives me hope . I might post a picture with my penis on this forum soon so just that i can tell if the deformity gets any worse.Thanks a lot , you are an awesome person

Godisreal i want to have faith but when i keep hitting my penis accidentaly i just remember of it and just insta freak out of any possible new deformity...this disease sucks a lot and i know that there are others in worse stages than i am so i am not whining but im scared that it would get really severe if i actually reinjured myself..which i might have done. Yesterday i just couldnt take it anymore so i masturbated but my penis didnt really hurt ( i can only feel some mild discomfort during flaccid state but when its erect there is no pain and ye...also the traction and l-arginine helped with the blood flow so i get more random erections..which is cool but also bad...because what happened 2 days ago.I don't know. Perhaps i should have stopped masturbating but at first when my penis curved i didn't really stop masturbating because i never knew about peyronies and crap...whatever i do not regret it . I just wish i wouldnt have gotten the first curve in the first place by listening my parents and not sleeping in underwear during my puberty..when my penis started to bend ( prob due nocturnal erections in a tight underwear )

Life sucks.

[TonySa]

It's very doubtful tight underwear caused your curve...more likely is it's cogenital and won't change.  Do you have any other new symptoms other than the pain when injured?  Hourglassing, dents, shortening, etc?  If not your probably have nothing to worry about.  That said you sound depressed and anxious-would you go to a doc or counselor to help with that?

[Daniel2222]

But i never had that curve until of course i hit 15 yrs old when i started to curve..never ever had pain back then..perhaps i was just dumb and i was speculating that i had peyronie disease (And in the end i might have gotten it )
Since the last injury i haven't really noticed shortening nor girth loss ( in the last 3 weeks)
Not sure how hourglass should look . my curves are mainly just below the glans so im not sure.
Dents? Might sound dumb but im not sure what they look like. Perhaps some small bumps on the penis?I Just noticed enlarged veins in some spots and 2 small bumps i could say but they are really soft.Also im not sure how a normal penis should be but when i touch my erect penis there are some places where it just feels like there are small small bumps inside like some grains or crap...isn't that related to peyronies?(this is only on my left and right side but had them for quite a while)
I could post a picture with my erect penis tomorrow or something and perhaps you can look if you see something unusual if you want i dont know.but i plan to post a pic anyways just to keep track of things.

No one can help me with depression.I've visited doctors and consultants and stuff. All they wanted was my money and they in fact treated me like crap telling me that im just complaining about stuff and that im a crybaby when i was actually suffering after a hard period...perhaps im just really unlucky to find trash docs that only want money...
I'm broken deep inside and it's not due to my penis..this is just making things worse but it's not the main problem that caused my depression.

I have so many insecurities and i keep getting more ..which sucks....
I've made many mistakes and i wish i could go back in time and fix them.
Some of the things i would fix would be :
-prevent my peyronies
-prevent losing my friends
-stop cutting myself because now i have marks on my chest arms and legs...sucks to wear a tshirt and have someone ask you "Yo what are those?" ...like you don't F^@$!ng know already what those are.
-never start gambling at such a young age and lose thousand of dollars just to now be broke



Those are just few of my problems right now...but who cares now. It's too late to fix any of those

[TonySa]

Daniel, it's never too late...that's your severe depression talking.  I'm sirry you haven't found a good doctor to help you.  How about looking for a good counselor?

[Daniel2222]

 It could be too late. By the time i have the money to get a VED/Traction device my scar could calcify or crap like that and then im totally gonna be damned......at the moment i take the supplements in my description and do like light traction when i go to the bath.That's not my depression that's the truth.
Life probably wants me dead anyways.This world is overpopulated.
so i guess my deformity is bound to get worse. Any place where i can post picks of my dick at this stage?So i can keep track of it's progression or something?

[TonySa]

I think we're now able to post on any thread.

[Godisreal]

Posting pics are good in order to follow your progression/healing.
I'm also very young with a bend caused by unknown injuries, it's fkn crazy.
It's very difficult to understand the course of one's case, it's ridiculous, really.
It's not too late, man. Focus on getting that money so you can get your hands on the stuff you want.
You'll win this battle, keep fighting. The first months are the most difficult.