Dealing with fear for the future

[Scotyboi]

I am a 23 year old man. I am am a virgin. I hope to have children one day with a wife. I have suffered with peyronies since march 2019. I started  a VED plan in august but injured myself and I am only starting on another protocol tommorw. Since my diagnosis I would say a inch and a half dent under the right hand side of my glands as appeared and grown. A small dent on my left side has appeared but it is stable. Very rarely does it get better. It stops for a few weeks then progresses. My mental health often depends up the sate of my penis.

This disease has been so psychologically difficult for me. I got it when trying to do a nofap challenge but i would often 'edge' (masturbating just before climax). To stop myself i would run cold water over my penis. then one day I felt sharp pain and there was internal blood. This i imagine triggered my peyronies. Ironically, Nofap would help me right now but because I am obsessed with my *** I have often failed. every time I have masturbated the condition has gotten worse.If i dont masturbate I often have wet dreams which is the same thing. I have lost about an inch of my erect length.

I am looking froward to my plan starting tommrow. Its heat plus VED plus l-arginine, and hopefully good eating. But the reason I am starting this is for my mind, which is really the problem.

I am gripped by fear of what is going to happen to me. I never wanted to be so sex god, i just wanted a family. I so scared of the rip in my penis getting larger and larger. What if the acute phase never ends? Sometimes i see great looking women and my heart just sinks. My mood swings about like mad. I am religious and God does comfort me. Knowing that in the end it does not matter. But its hard, I dont want to be alone without someone to love and please.

So I am here for advice. How can I mentally cope with a big dent penis. How can I live in hope of a love. Or alternatively how can I see myself as me and not me 'the damaged *** guy'.    

Thanks.
   

 

 

[melting]

A constant application of well thought out decisions can lead you out of this. Do what helps, what makes sense and stop what doesn't help. If you abide by that your dreams sure can come true. There's probably no easy way out with peyronies. Takes time and consistency..

Regarding masturbation the tissue most probably wasn't meant to be moved violently with hands but slide through the wet female genitalia. You obviously have to stop any rough treatment of your penis until you solved this, period. The whole no fap craze is in a sense as extreme as fapping 3 times a day seeing it creating a lot of pressure and anxiousness that hurts more than it helps.
A good option is to either use a lot of lube or a sex toy like a fleshlight which isn't pressuring the tissue as much.

As men we are dealing with this disease getting hit in a spot that defines a lot of what makes us physically men. But what also makes us men is a tendency(!) to use logic towards reaching a goal. Use it and steer your emotions and trajectory into the right direction. If you trip, stand up and keep going.

[Hawk]

Scotyboi,

I am not suggesting you consider an implant.  I just want you to first be aware that you need to stop stressing.   If nothing else works an implant by a good surgeon is pretty close to a miracle. Unrestricted sex, children, everything you worry about missing and much more natural than you imagine.  They will only get better.

Wet dreams are not the same as masturbation.  Masturbation involves various degrees of physical stimulation gentle -> traumatic.
A wet dream is a primarily psychological stimulation.