New, and as my nickname says, scared

[Scared]

More than 30 days ago, I had an edema after intense masturbation. Seeing how my dick had broken, doctors just kinda shrugged and sent me back home, telling me to rest for days.
However, I "saw I was healthy" and decided I was gonna be okay as long as I was careful, masturbated only with the foreskin, and didn't clean up afterwards (yeah, I f*d up there). The result was the dreaded half flaccid and some slight balanitis (according to the doctor and the symptoms). The hard flaccid went better during medication, but as I was being too thorough or probably rough cleaning, using intimate gel, it got stronger and caused ED for some days. After this, I was able to get back erections and morning erections soon-ish, in some days after actual care and relaxing. Sadly, I seem to have lost more than an inch (as my dick can't fill as well as before). This is a huge deal to me. I used to be pretty big and proud of it, and even did solo porn online, so I built some of a reputation around it I can't keep now.
I don't know if I have peyronies. I don't know for how long will this go on, and I don't wanna lose size. I want my dick back, honestly. Doctors just can't seem to even try, the net usually says the problem is that people are to embarrased to check but it was actually the doctors who seemed embarrased to even try to help.
I'm waiting for radio results that my urologist (actually helpful) asked for to see if I have problems with internal blood flow in the penis: it seems there's nothing like that, though.
What should I expect? My ED dissapears and my HF gets better while I lie, and sitting seems to be harsher than standing. I want my thing back, or the closest thing possible, and I'm scared I ain't measuring up anymore. I can notice the scar under the dick when I touch the zone I hurt, but I don't think the zone has "plaque", just a regular scar. Some other zones do go into a hard flaccid state and the shape can twist pretty wildly while flaccid, specially in zones I tried to stretch as a teen, before I got significant growth. There's no curve when erect.
The silver lining might be that my very beloved dick kept me out of taking hormones as I am transgender, but honestly, I would take them only if I can't see a way out of it. I loved my dick, size and shape and want to save it. If possible. If anyone can help, I'll love it. I'm super anxious and depressed lately and my girl is finally visiting me after promises of very good sex (that she knows I can't keep now, sigh).
Thanks for reading. I'll try to keep you updated.

[Godisreal]

First of all, chill out man. Don't be so obsessed over how your dick "doesn't fill out like it used to". It's not weird since you're so anxious and afraid, exactly how I was when my injury occurred.
My 25 degree dorsal curve came outtanowhere and ofc this shortens my dick severely. But I know that if I just stay calm and keep on with treatment, ultimately I will be fine.
I'm confident that I can reverse my curvature with traction and a line of other treatments.
You should be confident too, I don't doubt that you will just fine.
The thing with penile injuries is that they take forever to heal up, since blood flow is so poor in the pelvic area. I couldn't tell if you have peyronies or not, either way you should treat your dick like it has peyronies. Keep doing re-search here on the forum (best information on the internet is on here) and stay ahead of things. Also don't aggravate your injury, that's mandatory.
Take care man and God bless you  

[TonySa]

Scared, be sure to read the survival guide and go from there: https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,3180.msg44057.html#msg44057

[Scared]

I'm taking multivitamin supplements, L-Arginine and having a pretty good diet right now where my sugars come from fruits. It does sometimes go full flaccid but stress is a big enemy and even the one induced by playing videogames can be hard on it.