Worried about pre-peyronies and wanting to tell my story. Need reassurance..

[agranderson2019]

Hey guys, I posted on this forum with a different question a little bit ago, but I have a few things I wanted to ask so I made this a separate post, I hope that's okay. Also, I want to get to 5 posts so I can post pictures as well.

I want to preface this whole cyber-barf of a post and say that Im sorry if it sounds like Im rambling and cant stay on topic. I am not the best writer, and I need to post here to help my state of mind. Please allow me to vent/ask questions as we go. Thank you for this opportunity.

Before I go too far into it I want to say that I've been dealing with pelvic pain for 3 months. I was feeling pain in my penis very slightly when Id have sex sometimes, and between that and the constant pelvic floor dysfunction symptoms, I have spiraled into terrible pattern of anxiety and depression. I want to apologize because I don't want to come off as that annoying a******* complaining about things when he's not sure if he even has Peyronie's yet or not. I by no means mean to be disrespectful. I have come here because I know it's the best resource on the internet and I appreciate everyone here and what you're doing. The brotherhood is real and it's been a great resource to see throughout my personal struggle.

I went to urologist in July and he diagnosed me with pelvic floor dysfunction. I was having constant penis tip burning and pain on and off. I also had burning after urination, mild discomfort with sex, urinary frequency, and I was having cramps in my perineum area and around my butthole. My perenium was sore after prolonged masturbation or sex as well, sometimes. All of these symptoms seem to be consistent with PFD.. i hope.

While I was there, I also brought up that I was worried about having Peyronie's and he felt my penis (flaccid) and looked at it a bit and said that "unless it's curving while erect or in pain with sex I shouldn't worry about it." Needless-to-say, it didn't provide me much closure.

On a side note: I had an incident probably 50 days ago, where I woke up and my penis was curved slightly. My penis was not erect, but it was halfway in between I would say. I'm hoping it was because I was laying on my right side and when I hopped out of bed it was kind of molded that way too long and it stayed stuck that way for a minute (of course I grabbed it and made it normal immediately though). I don't know about you guys but if my penis is even slightly engorged or flaccid for that matter, I can kind of hold it one direction and for a few seconds and it will stay that way for a little while. I know this because I tried to duplicate the situation to give my mind some rest and say that it was because of the position I was in. I find its especially mold-able in the anxious state.

Anyways, I was starting to feel better after 40 days of no incident and I was on vacation with my family last week. Because of all this, I still have anxiety to look at my penis at all because I'm worried about what's going to happen when it starts to get hard. Ever since I saw that curved look, I'm afraid of how it will make me feel if I see it again because I know it's more likely going to be Peyronie's than not, and anything else is just wishful thinking. I was about to have sex with my wife, and I had shorts on, my penis started to get engorged out of excitement, and when I pulled my shorts down, my penis was curving to the left again, for the first time in 40 days. Needless to say I felt sick to my stomach... However, it wasn't full on boner curve, it was semi erect. My erect penis is still straight, but when you read about Neo-V and pre-peyronies, it pretty much has scared me to absolute death and haunts me to this day thinking anything and everything is peyronies. Again, I really hope this is because my penis had to pick a side in my shorts and went to the left. Due to the constant state of anxiety that im in, and being restricted to one direction or the other, I hope this is what happened. At least this is what I tell myself.

One of my questions is related to the semi-erect penis before erection vs the semi-erect penis after erection, sort of in regards to pre-peyronies symptoms, and whether or not there's a difference? My pre erection chub seems to be more slightly curved that my post erection/ejaculation chub (because im anxious I believe).

To better frame my question, because I've been in a mindset of worrying on stop about this for 3 months, I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to looking at my penis or masturbating. When my penis is erect it seems to be like it always has been. When my penis is in the process of getting erect, it has a slight curve to it, or a twist rather, that I believe is mostly congenital. My penis is always been a little twisted, I would say the head is rotated 45 degrees to the left. Because of this, from my perspective my penis seems to curve and twist to the left when I'm looking at it from above. However, because I've been looking at it so much these past 3 months, I feel like I'm either (A) noticing things that are new and peyronies related, or (B) it has always been that way and I can't tell anymore because I'm so wrapped up in this...Noticing new details I never paid attention to before all this... I feel like a dumb a$$hole for even posting all this. I sound crazy, and I'm sorry guys.


What I've noticed is that if I wake up in the middle of the night with an erection and everything looks good when I go to the bathroom, it deflates and is in a much more relaxed state, it hangs much looser and less curved, and I'm wondering if this is related to anxiety? Because when I see that my penis is okay when erect it makes me feel relieved and then maybe it hangs looser it softer?

On the other hand, when I'm in the process of GETTING an erection, especially if I don't touch it and just try to observe it, I think my anxiety causes the curve to be more pronounced because it's a more tightened semi erect penis rather than loose and floppy, like is stands out from my body too instead of hanging down. Has anyone else ever dealt with this? When I feel anxiety rush over me while observing my penisit's like my penis kinda tightens up and appears more curved. I can watch this happen in real time, and it feeds my anxiety loop.


From reading wayyy to much on these forums and websites, I'm always worried I'm going to be one of those guys who  just wakes up and has an "abrupt" curve to my erection, at this point it's my biggest fear and saying obsession would be an understatement. Peyronie's descriptions are the worst, it either comes on gradually or can happen overnight? Jesus, that is terrifying and gives no rest to my already restless mind..


A little update:

The pain in my penis seems to have gone away when I have sex for the most part lately. I noticed that it seems to be related to the position that I'm in. If I'm on top and pumping away, my perineum seems to get very tight and when I kegel, voluntarily or involuntarily, it would make my penis kind of tender at the base. This was going on for the past 3 months until the last week or so. Now the pain seems to have subsided, and I hope that that's in large part to me changing my attitude and starting to reduce my pelvic floor symptoms. I practice regular diaphragmic breathing and stretching exercises, "headache in the pelvis" blah blah blah...

That brings me to now, 3 months later I have done nothing but obsess and check, worry, and check some more. Now I pay so much damn attention to this semi erect curve that I have constant anxiety. My penis seems to be in a constant state of anxiety as well, hanging outwards when soft rather than straight down.. Trust me I've already been through the hard-flaccid stuff and that was no fun.


Here's the endless cycle I've been stuck in:

I find something on my penis that may or may not be a plaque, dent, what have you, I worry about it and inspect it non-stop (I know, it's stupid). Maybe a few days pass and just as I'm starting to feel better I see something else that resembles a plaque or dent. In all reality, I have a really veiny penis, between my dorsal vein and my arteries and circumflex veins, there is a lot going on and hard to tell what is what. It appears that the spaces between veins look like dents too, so yeah, that helps...not. I know that poking and prodding is a bad habit, so I have been trying my best to lay off that and not cause any needless inflammation. Due to my OCD habits, that isn't easy for me to do. Embarrassing to say. I jump from worry to worry... all because of this curve I started paying so much extra attention to 50 days ago... Has anyone else scared themselves shitless only to find out later that what they were looking at was normal all along? I feel like a year is going to have to pass before I can officially feel better and say to myself "phew, if you were in the acute phase, you should have seen something by now, in the erect state". Whether or not that's true I don't know, I know that the acute phase can last for years, apparently.

I am going to post pictures as soon as I can to show you guys and get your opinions. That would make me feel so much better, although I hate to be the guy posting internet penis pics on some forum, in any other circumstance, that would be shady as hell. Thanks to you guys I have the opportunity to vent, and I want you to know that to anyone that reads this, I really would appreciate a response if you don't mind. I am in a dark state of mind and I need to talk to someone.. really bad as I dont want to bother my wife anymore with this.... its affecting my relationship.

Supplements Ive been taking for the past month:

CoQ10 – 300 mg daily
Arginine – 2000 mg daily
Bilberry – 1000 mg daily
Vitamin E – 360 mg daily
Acetyl L-Cartinine – 1600 mg daily
Turmeric/Curcumin – 500 mg daily
Saw Palmetto – 320 mg daily (for prostatitis symptoms)
Magnesium – 250 mg daily (for prostatitis symptoms)
Ginger Root – 550 mg daily (why the hell not)
Vitamin D – single dose daily
L-Lysine – 500 mg daily

Anyways, I hope that me taking all these damn pills can help me if I'm in the pre-peyronies or acute phase and don't quite know it yet...Worth a shot right? Ill take any other advice I can get.

Guys, thanks for letting me vent. Thank you for being part of this forum and I want you to know that I hope every single one of you that reads this can find peace in your soul. You deserve it. Thank you for being this online brotherhood and supporting one another, its a beautiful thing. I have read countless posts and have been able to do so much damn research I feel like I could become a Peyronie's doctor myself. Kidding. Really though, I look forward to hearing from someone. Sorry for the sloppy ramble of a post. Have a good day guys.

[Stratt_mat1]

Worst case scenario if you did have Peyronies you have plenty of treatment options. And if you were open to surfery as a resort a penile implant would be a permennant solution as well . Nothing you stated so far seems to indicate any kind of Peyronies . But being aware of penile health and doing preventive things is very helpful. Don't let your anxiety control you when there is nothing wrong. As of now you don't have anything to really stress on. And worrying incessintrly is just going to getting the way of your life.

An awareness about things and taking care of yourself is great. Avoid injuring your penis and practice a very healthy lifestyle and you should be great.  

[RandyPE]

Hey man.  Thanks for reaching out and for sharing.  And don't apologize for lengthy posts - the more details, the better, as it will help us all give you whatever recommendations or ideas we can.

It sounds like you're on the right track.  Remember that it's entirely possible you have PFD and Peyronies Disease, as they're not mutually exclusive but do often mimic each other in many ways.  And you could also just have one and not the other.  There are many guys here that never develop a bend / curve with erection even though they can feel a dent and / or plaque.  Keep taking pictures so you can compare results from week to week or so.  Our eyes play tricks on us when we look at our dicks day after day, and it's good to be able to look objectively at any changes or not.  And we'll be happy to give opinions on the pics when you've posted them.  This is the right forum for doing so.

Keep us informed of changes and progress.   There's a great feeling of brotherhood here.  We're all in the same boat, so to speak.

Randy