Frustrated/Depressed and need some help please

[ripcurl09]

I'm very, very frustrated. Because of my injury during sex causing not only the upward bend, but also a decent loss in length and girth. Before my accident, I was "normal to slightly bigger than normal size." I wasn't huge by any standards, but I was pretty happy with my penis size. I've tried the Soma Erect, the Penimaster Pro and now have been using the Restorex twice a day, with only a minor change.

Now with the Peyronies, I am embarrassed by my size. This is causing serious Erectile Dysfunction for me. I am very, very healthy. I mean extremely fit for a 46 year old man. I exercise 6 days a week, eat healthy, my blood pressure is great (117/78), very little body fat, etc. So my Erectile Dysfunction isn't physiological, it's psychological. When I wake up at night or in the morning with an erection, I immediately put hand on my penis to feel how hard it is, only to feel the change is size and be disappointed. When I masturbate, I can get a great erection and maintain it as long as I don't think about my reduced size.

In the past few months, I have had several very, very attractive women in my bed/house/etc. As we're making out, or I'm doing things to them, I get a good erection. But as soon as they try and touch me, I go soft. Mostly because I'm embarrassed about my size now. No matter what they do to me with their hands/mouths/etc, I lose my erection. When I try and penetrate their vagina, I go soft. Especially because my PY Disease has caused the very end of my penis to be softer than the rest. So I get more frustrated and embarrassed which leads to just going soft. Then I make some excuse about "being on antibiotics" or something similar as to why I can't keep an erection.
I'm VERY unselfish in sex, so use my mouth and hands on women to bring them to climax, so it's not a total loss.
But dear God I just want to have sex! I started seeing a girl recently and she is incredible in bed. We've spent several nights together and she tries hard to get me erect again with her mouth/hands and anything else that turns me on. But my penis just won't F^@$!ng react!! Even if I eat a few cialis and 100mg of Viagra and it does nothing to help. The second her hands or something touch me, he goes limp.

I'm willing to go to counseling, see a doctor, whatever it takes. I'm just at my wits end with this. I've downloaded tapes to listen to at night (they kinda suck), read and read on this forum and others, but nothing helps.

Can anyone please, please offer some suggestions. I like this woman a lot and can see it possibly forming into something serious, but I'm literally making excuses as to why she can't spend the night because I don't want to fail again with a limp noodle.

Thank you for any help offered! Very frustrated, enough to feel slight depression about it.  

[TDix]

You should see a specialist, an andrologist who can help you get to where you need to be.  Made a huge difference for me vs a urologist  

[Hawk]

IF it is tryly psychological and you can maintain an erection through masturbation or when you give oral sex then there is not much we can say to help.  The solution will be psychological and either come through a professional counselor, sexologist or through self-help.

If this is a girl of substance and not just hot then I can tell you what I would do.  I would be honest with her. apparently there is nothing to be embarrassed about because you suggested that she performed oral on you when you were not erect.  If so then she must not be concerned with your size and I am willing to bet that if you told you care for her but are simply psychologically devastated at the fact that  you used to be bigger and are having trouble dealing with it.  Once you talked it out it would help relieve the stress.  if she was willing to just enjoy intimacy with no expectations of intercourse it would take the pressure off any you might very likely find that once you were not expected to perform that you could perform but it might take a while.  My guess is that if you excel as a companion outside of the bedroom that she would happily work with you in the bedroom.  

Also if you developed that sort of psychologically intimate relationship you might feel free to try such things as a cockring that would help maintain an erection once you got one.  You could also try injections which unlike Viagra and Cialis do NOT require sexual stimulation to get an erection.  I am not a fan of injections because some men can develop fibrosis from them.  They do usually give great erections, they are painless, and can be done in private in the bathroom and you will appear to naturally get erect during foreplay.  Your erection may last past orgasm and even having someone stick a shotgun in your mouth would not make you lose the erection untille the injection wore off.

[NeoV]

Make sure the girl knows about it. Do not hide it or try to be special for having a "nice dick." That's the woman's role, so allow her to be sexy, not you. Sex isn't about you, it's about the girl anyway. Do not make excuses about antibiotics etc. This is what a weak (and worthless man does). Instead just be honest, be like "damnit! there it goes hahaha." Be humble and laugh about it and take as much action as you can, that's all you can do. A girl won't really mind if you can do that.

[ripcurl09]

You should see a specialist, an andrologist who can help you get to where you need to be.  Made a huge difference for me vs a urologist

Do you mean for my testosterone/estrogen levels? They're all in the normal range. I do have to use Testosterone Cypionate every week with a doctor's prescription. Or do you think and andrologist can help with more than this?

[ripcurl09]

IF it is tryly psychological and you can maintain an erection through masturbation or when you give oral sex then there is not much we can say to help.  The solution will be psychological and either come through a professional counselor, sexologist or through self-help.

If this is a girl of substance and not just hot then I can tell you what I would do.  I would be honest with her. apparently there is nothing to be embarrassed about because you suggested that she performed oral on you when you were not erect.  If so then she must not be concerned with your size and I am willing to bet that if you told you care for her but are simply psychologically devastated at the fact that  you used to be bigger and are having trouble dealing with it.  Once you talked it out it would help relieve the stress.  if she was willing to just enjoy intimacy with no expectations of intercourse it would take the pressure off any you might very likely find that once you were not expected to perform that you could perform but it might take a while.  My guess is that if you excel as a companion outside of the bedroom that she would happily work with you in the bedroom.  

Also if you developed that sort of psychologically intimate relationship you might feel free to try such things as a cockring that would help maintain an erection once you got one.  You could also try injections which unlike Viagra and Cialis do NOT require sexual stimulation to get an erection.  I am not a fan of injections because some men can develop fibrosis from them.  They do usually give great erections, they are painless, and can be done in private in the bathroom and you will appear to naturally get erect during foreplay.  Your erection may last past orgasm and even having someone stick a shotgun in your mouth would not make you lose the erection untille the injection wore off.

Thank you for the suggestions. Speaking with her about it is something I've been considering. I do agree that if she is understanding and cares, she can actually help with the issue. It wasn't that I suggested she perform oral sex, she started to and I went limp when she did.
I would definitely consider counseling. THis is something I want to take care of. I'm not closed minded to anything that works.
What kind of injections are you referring to?

[ripcurl09]

Make sure the girl knows about it. Do not hide it or try to be special for having a "nice dick." That's the woman's role, so allow her to be sexy, not you. Sex isn't about you, it's about the girl anyway. Do not make excuses about antibiotics etc. This is what a weak (and worthless man does). Instead just be honest, be like "damnit! there it goes hahaha." Be humble and laugh about it and take as much action as you can, that's all you can do. A girl won't really mind if you can do that.

I do agree with you. I have been considering telling her. If anything, she can help. I also agree sexy is about the girl. I am very, very unselfish in bed. I brought her to orgasm 5 times with my mouth and hands the last time she spent the night here. I enjoy doing that to a woman almost as much as I enjoy sex itself.
The whole "antibiotic" story was only a partial lie. I am on very strong antibiotics at the moment. Whenever I did go limp, I would not try and hide it or act shy, but instead was open about it happening and even made fun of it like he was an old friend letting me down.
Part of my own disappointment is that she really, really wants to please me back, and so I know that it's bit of a buzz kill for her when she can't do for me what I'm doing for her.  

[ripcurl09]

I am looking at certified Sex Counselors in my area. There's both men and women available.
I'm curious if anyone has any experience with this. While I think a man would be more comfortable to talk to, a woman's point of view might be something more impactful.

Thank you!

[Hawk]

What kind of injections are you referring to?

Tri-Mix injections into the penis 20 minutes before sex.  Once you get the right dose, erections are almost guaranteed especially if you have some erection ability now under some circumstances.

If she is into pleasing you just be aware that your ability to have an orgasm has NOTHING to do with an erection.  If she starts to give oral, even if it goes flaccid, tell her you love it.  Make her feel she is driving you crazy and ask her to not stop because if you like giving her pleasure that will please her.

[ripcurl09]

Tri-Mix injections into the penis 20 minutes before sex.  Once you get the right dose, erections are almost guaranteed especially if you have some erection ability now under some circumstances.

If the is into pleasing you just be aware that your ability to have an orgasm has NOTHING to do with an erection.  If she starts to give oral, even if it goes flaccid, tell her you love it.  Make her feel she is driving you crazy and ask her to not stop because if you like giving her pleasure that will please her.

Is this Tri-mix injection something my doctor would be aware of and help me with if I chose to go down that route?

I totally get your suggestion for flaccid pleasure. I wish I could. Unfortunately the whole situation has killed that for me. However, I completely understand doing anything for the woman to feel like she is pleasing me. I really do believe in being totally unselfish in bed.

[Hawk]

A good urologist knows about different types of penile injections.  I would stay away from BiMix since it is the most likely to cause fibrosis.

[NeoV]

I don't mean to be so harsh on you, sorry about that. Anyway, but being sexually giving with what you physically is not that important (it doesn't matter how many orgasms you give her). It's more about how you act and feel energetically.  

[ripcurl09]

I don't mean to be so harsh on you, sorry about that. Anyway, but being sexually giving with what you physically is not that important (it doesn't matter how many orgasms you give her). It's more about how you act and feel energetically.

No need to apologize, I totally agree with you

[ripcurl09]

So I took the forum's advice and spoke with the woman about my PY Disease and other factors. She was totally cool with it, supportive and everything. I definitely feel more comfortable with her, BUT I'm still having erection issues.
I've stopped all medications that effect ED including my Propecia/Finasteride, any pain medication and also mirtazipine/remeron.  I've dropped 10 pounds (I was never overweight, I work out and do cardio 5-6 days a week. I'm not bragging, but I am in incredible condition). I don't drink, don't smoke and don't do drugs.

I'm 46, I have to take Testosterone Cypionate twice a week, but a very low dose .15 ML at 200mg/ml. I also take 1mg of Anistrozole/Armidex once a week. All of this is prescribed by a doctor. My bloodwork shows my testosterone levels to be perfect.

My morning erections are harder than the have been for years in the past month, especially with removing those meds from my body.

But when I am with a woman, I stress about it before we are together, while we're together, etc. So I know it's all psychological.

I'm going to see a Eurologist in 2 weeks, but not too sure how they can help with the psychological side. I've been looking at licensed sexual counselors/therapist in my area.

I'd really, really appreciate any advice or suggestions on this. It's so frustrating. I am literally avoiding sex because of this. I mean I have a chance to date an incredibly beautiful and sensual girl, but my damn ED is not helping.

THank you!!

[Hawk]

I am not a psychologist but avoiding sex is not going to lessen your anxiety or stress levels about sex or when you do have sex.  It seems to me if you are having any spontaneous erections day or night then you likely do have a strong psychological component to your ED.  That will be corrected only by removing stress and anxiety while with a woman.  Logic tell me that what might work is anything that removes pressure, urgency, or stress over an erection:

1. Sex with a woman who will patiently enjoy intimacy with you that does not involve an erection so all pressure for an erection is gone. That will best be done by having sex with a woman you trust
2. Maybe sex with a prostitute (which I do not recommend) where you have no stress to consider her feelings, whats, or needs.
3. Vivid repeated meditation and visualization of intimacy with a total absence of stress.

A sex therapist might have better ideas.