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Author Topic: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal  (Read 4779 times)

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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #50 on: June 18, 2019, 03:18:34 PM »

Thank you Pfract - very encouraging. I honestly wish I still had the truly awful pictures I showed my surgeons pre-implant for comparison.

DAY 15 Post Op

After great progress, tonight has set me back a fair bit. I decided to wait and inflate only once today - about one hour ago. I ran a hot bath, remembering Hawk’s advice, and pumped up. Given that I managed 4 hours yesterday I thought I’d go for more inflation tonight. Firstly, I just can’t for the life of me imagine a day when pumping that ball up would be deemed to be second nature. It is SO stiff and difficult to squeeze and I’m waiting at all times for that inevitable slip of the hand when the pump flies into my ball! Anyway, I managed to pump up a bit more than normal. Again the greatly reduced curve is positive to look at in the mirror.

Must have been the amount I inflated to but the pain was like it was before - breathtakingly excruciating. Even the hot water did little to reduce the pain. I came out the bath after 10 minutes and lay on my bed. I didn’t time myself cos I didn’t expect things to be this way but I’d imagine it was 20 mins tops before I had to bail out. Far too extreme.

Ok so after great progress perhaps I over inflated - I’ll maybe not do that again for a while but here’s the thing. When I tried to deflate, which until now hasn’t given me a problem, I couldn’t  find the little round pressing dimple. I seemed to be very swollen all of a sudden. Worse still, as I was feeling around, I kept touching rogue nerves and I’d get a shooting pain in different parts of my genitals - even in the glans. What was that all about?

I did manage to deflate tho and will leave things for 24 hours I think.
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #51 on: June 18, 2019, 04:03:38 PM »

7 weeks here from implant
my two cents is that the 4 hours overdid things

Hawk suggested once I got out of the bathtub routine, he suggested pumping it when I first get up. Start the coffee, read, make some breakfast, do something that takes your mind off of the time.
If the hot water doesn't work, try pumping out, each individual has different bodies that heal differently.
I have bad days, but they become fewer.

Take your time,

 read some other journals and you will see you may be expecting a little too much too soon. Go slow!!!!!

stepone
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #52 on: June 18, 2019, 04:28:05 PM »

Yeah - will do, thanks. Your words are common sense.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #53 on: June 18, 2019, 10:47:58 PM »

What Stepone said.

Granted, I was sent home deflated but I could have never taken 4 hours at your point in recovery.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #54 on: June 20, 2019, 04:51:33 AM »

Day 17 Post Op

This is an important update for anyone experiencing post surgery pain. Pumped up at 9 am this morning (Thursday) after 5 minutes in a hot bath. There was absolutely no pain at all and pumping up was the easiest it’s been yet. I feel a fool for not having done this every time after everyone’s advice about hot baths. I lay in the bath listening to a playlist and it was easy. No discomfort until I decided to have another 3 or 4 pumps and then the pain started. There’s definitely a ‘safe from pain’ level of pumping and a line that I go over that leads to pain. What to do at this stage? What do you think, guys? Be content with a 70% inflation with no pain for a couple of weeks or go to 70% then 80% with pain? I guess the pain is the extra stretch. Is that what my bend needs? Or do I do it in stages of months? I really don’t know.

Another little development. My glans has suddenly erupted in red blotches/spots/rash. Don’t know what’s going on there but it somehow has to be related to what’s going on in general? I’m not circumcised and have been cleaning every day. I’ll be keeping an eye on that one.

Deflation again much easier in the bath. Softer scrotum tissue makes finding the switch much easier. Was inflated for a total of 50 minutes. That’s enough. Finding it difficult to imagine wearing normal clothes again as my flaccid penis is definitely what anyone else would call a semi. In fact it’s harder than a semi. Major bulge in my jogging trousers let alone a suit.

Got another concern that’s beginning to weigh on my mind. Booked and paid to go to Portugal on July 2nd. Beginning to worry that I’ll not make it and preparing my wife and 2 kids for them potentially going without me. Can’t see how I can do 3 hours on an aeroplane at this stage. 13 days from now so I’ll keep an open mind.
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #55 on: June 20, 2019, 09:33:33 AM »

Roddy,
I know it's difficult, but pain can make us not the most appreciative persons.
Sometimes I would be so frustrated with the pain, etc., I would get on this website and ask a ton of questions about what about this and what about that?
It's good to do, but at the same time, it's also good to read over other peoples journals. Hawk pointed this out to me several times, its very beneficial, as a matter of fact, one time while I was in the bathtub soaking, I was reading the printed out journal of the very first journal writer. Sadly, I don't remember his name, but just look on the list of people that have written journals and locate it.
Reading his journal then Hawks from start to finish took more than one sitting, it took several days, but it gave me an important amount of information.
Try this out and really study their journals, I found it to be comforting.
Now for the question about pain, only you know what is tolerable. Many have said pump as much as you can for as long as you can, but don't do any of those 4 hour marathons again. You are the only one that has ever said they did that. Pace yourself knowing your body, but stick to a time limit, my doctor told me 30 minutes twice a day. If you can do eventually without much pain, you are making progress
Glans rash? Not sure, I am cut/circumcised. But I do have some bumps on my head. Not sure what that means, sometimes they are there, sometimes not. I used to get a irritated glans sometimes from too much sex.  So here is my question, are you masturbating? My doctor was very clear, no sex, not even "jerking off" was allowed until he gave me the go ahead. That occured at about a month, but I still waited a few days to have sex with the spouse.
Trip questions. Hmm, that's a tough one, was this trip a vacation or business?
I hope you have been experimenting with underwear to help you secure your "cock" and "balls". This was and is still a challenge for me. My balls were very sensitive particularly around the ball sac near the stitches and pulling. The dog ears hurt too. So it was difficult to find the right pair of briefs that held things in place without too much pressure on the sac.
Sometimes I would wear baggy pants if I could and a shirt over my pants(not tucked in). I could do this most the time, but sometimes I had to wear a shirt tucked in and a tie. These times were more difficult, so I would wear a big jock to allow my balls to hang somewhat, but the jock kept my cock from flopping all over the place. I would also take Tylenol every 4-6 hours as need to help me with the pain.
and another two cents of mine says....
If this is a trip that your wife and kids were planning on, I think having them with you, will help you keep your mind off of your trip and your dick. I would definitely take them with you and hopefully you all will have a more enjoyable time.
I had a urologist tell me one time,
men are men.
We discover our dicks when we are young and we fall in love with them.
They are always there for us.
They are with us when we are single, married, in a relationship, divorced, and perhaps married again.
But our dicks are always with us, through good and bad times. They are our best friend.
Sometimes our dicks get us into trouble.
But our dicks change and so should our love of our dicks.
He told me, plain and simple, you now have a new dick, it's different, you need to learn to love it, but don't give up on the other most important thing of all, and that is love for others.
Hope this helps.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #56 on: June 20, 2019, 09:58:59 AM »

It certainly does help, StepOne. Thanks for the reply. Yeah, in terms of other journals I’ve been reading them thoroughly. Is the one you’re referring to Merrix’s Journal? All 80,000 words of it. I’ve found a lot of similarities. All the journals are great and there are golden nuggets of advice and do’s and don’t’s in them all. The 2 x 30 mins each day is definitely my plan moving forward. Like I said before, the 4 hours inflated was only because I had the house to mself and I wasn’t experiencing any discomfort so just watched TV.

In answer to your question, no I haven’t masturbated or had any kind of sexual thoughts at all - far too early for that. My surgeon told me nothing until week 4 and until I’ve had the official green light from him at my next consultation.

Today is my most comfortable yet. This is largely due to me getting a healthy and positive ‘telling off’ from my friend (the Pancreatic surgeon) yesterday. He said that I’ve been in continual pain  (when deflated) because I have not been managing my pain with medication the way I was told to. He said that if I can mask the pain for the next couple of weeks or so then the natural healing process will work away and if I take painkillers the way I’m supposed to then things would be so much better for me. 8 am 2 x 50mg Tramadol then very 4 hours after that. In between, at 10 am and the. Every 4 hours from that I took 2 x paracetamol (Tylenol in USA/Canada). If I do this throughout the day, every day, I’ll feel much better. Call me a fool but I just didn’t like taking that amount of drugs so really held off, hence the pain. I now see the error of my ways seeing as today I’ve been up and about more than any other day, with no pain. All masked by the drugs of course.

A real light at the end of the tunnel I think.
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2Oldfords

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #57 on: June 20, 2019, 11:10:03 AM »

   Roddy, I just finished reading your journal with all the comments from members here. It is encouraging to know all these people have your best interest at heart. Wow is all I can say. I'm glad that all of this is coming around for you and you are doing better. Pain meds are amazing. I know from experience. I don't like them but they are a coping mechanism as well as promote healing. I tend to quit taking them as soon as possible.
    Thanks for replying to my posts. I wish you well.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #58 on: June 20, 2019, 05:50:59 PM »

Day 17. - update

I texted Mr Fraser this afternoon and gave him a brief update on how I was doing. I told him I was making good, slow but steady progress. I told him I was cycling for 30 mins morning and night and about how the pain is perfectly manageable at 70% but really, really sore above that level. I asked him how he thinks I should progress. He suggested that once a day is fine but would like me to inflate for 80% for 30 mins then 90-100% for another 30 mins (1 hour in total). He said it would be very difficult but that I would benefit from this in the long run. I am seeing him on July 24th and that may well be my ‘date’ for trying out my new toy.

I just had another bath there at 10 pm for 30 mins and had no pain at 70% for about 15 mins then I increased the pump to maybe 85% for about 10-15 minutes. I must say it was not as sore as I expected it to be. What amazed me more than anything is the changing shape of my new penis. I honestly don’t recognise it as my own. I can’t stop looking at it. I have a straight penis for the first time in my life. It dawned on me that I don’t think I’ve taken it in yet through all the pain and suffering. When I called my wife to look at it I could read her mind as to what she was thinking. I’ll keep those thoughts private.

Once again, I have to state the effect of staying ahead of the pain and I realise how foolish I was to suffer that constant level of pain upon coming out of hospital and probably for the last 10 days. Please if you’re reading this journal, take the meds. Learn how to rotate them so that the pain never really comes. It is there but it’s just that I cannot feel it.

Cheers,

Roddy
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #59 on: June 20, 2019, 06:21:13 PM »

Roddy,  You do write a very interesting journal. ;)

I asked you specifically about pain killers sometime back.  I should have emphasized then the need to stay AHEAD of pain.

Pumping as much as you can for shorter periods is far better IMHO than 70% or 80% for longer periods.  The scar capsule is forming and will respond faster now than once it is formed.

Your rash could be from the very strong antibiotic washes used prior to surgery.  Most men actually experience painlessly peeling of skin on their penis a week or two after surgery.

My guess is that you can do this trip.  You will improve every couple of days.  The only downside will be finding time to cycle regularly and privately.  Pain-wise I think you will be good enough that with the distraction you will go right through it.  Walk every day.  You are to the point that you might be able to actually walk a mile or two with little trouble in the proper pants and underwear.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #60 on: June 20, 2019, 06:26:18 PM »

Thank you, Hawk. I’ll take that as a compliment- I think? 😁
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #61 on: June 20, 2019, 06:29:02 PM »

I made one typo in my previous post that I corrected. It now says  LONGER PERIODS as it should.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #62 on: June 20, 2019, 06:40:52 PM »

Yeah I’ll be sure to follow that advice now. Shorter bursts of higher level of inflation.  I now need to get out for walks and increase my time on my feet. It’s the only way to start to get my normal life back. I’ll listen to what my body is telling me. Cheers.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #63 on: June 21, 2019, 12:07:34 PM »

Day 18 Post-Op

Not much to report today and I wasn’t going to bother except I think it may be useful to report good days as well as bad. Today is another good day. Owing to my strict painkiller regime now I feel no pain at all. It is there, for sure, just that it’s completely masked by drugs. My surgeon friend said that effective pain control was both poorly explained by medical staff and poorly understood by patients. So true.

I inflated more than normal in the bath this morning like Mr Fraser wanted me to. I left the hot water in the bath after inflated (lay there for 20 minutes) before drying myself off - still erect - and watched TV for the rest of my ‘prescribed hour’. I was clock watching from 50 minutes to 60 minutes due to the pain. Nothing too bad tho. I went back upstairs, added more hot water to what was still warm water, got back in and waited 5 minutes until my scrotum relaxed before deflating. Much, much easier in a warm bath as by balls and sack are relaxed.

Reading Merrix’s journal, I notice a major difference. Where he talked a lot about how difficult it was to pump up the inflation (mentions 40 squeezes) I seem to be able to get good press on my pump. Out of interest, I’ve been counting and on average I have about 16/17 pumps till totally inflated. Good, full, squeezes. So that’s a bit of a difference. Don’t know if my pump is just a better pump?

That’s me done for today. Feel like I could inflate again tonight but I’m not sure I need to.

Cheers,

Roddy.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #64 on: June 21, 2019, 01:51:52 PM »

Roddy, your signature line does not mention the size of your Titan implant.  That has some impact on the number of pumps.
 
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #65 on: June 21, 2019, 02:02:13 PM »

I’m actually embarrassed to say I’ve no idea,Hawk. We never discussed that at any time prior to or after surgery. Maybe it’s tiny and that’s the reason for only 17 pumps. 😁
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #66 on: June 21, 2019, 05:46:08 PM »

Your doctor should have given you a card or paper with the size, model number, and the serial number, of the device and pump.  The device has a lifetime warranty.

From 100% steam roller flat I can only get 18 wall-to-wall pumps.  I can then get about 5 two-handed partial pumps on my 22 cm Titan.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #67 on: June 21, 2019, 06:13:56 PM »

The guesses are up at this time! What do you guys think? 22/24cm? Make your bets gents!

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #68 on: June 21, 2019, 11:27:49 PM »

I am guessing 20 cm with one RTE based solely on his posted pre-op measurement of 5.5 inches.  That, of course, is just a wild guess and I would not be surprised by a 20cm w/o RTE's or a 22cm.

Roddy, I would email my surgeon and ask for the surgical notes from my surgery as many of us have.  I had mine emailed to me within an hour of asking.  They should make some interesting reading.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #69 on: June 22, 2019, 07:43:09 AM »

I went online to my hospital website and accessed my profile and surgeon notes. The notes contained all the Titan implant size, etc.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #70 on: June 22, 2019, 08:13:39 AM »

Interesting. I’ll contact the hospital on Monday and see what they say. I should have said earlier but there has definitely been some settling down (for the better) size wise and although not obsessed by size, my length when inflated is 6 inches exactly. That’s with a really soft glans (Head) and will undoubtedly be bigger once that engorges with blood. Like I’ve said before, the fact that I now have a functioning penis far outweighs any loss of length. What use was a bigger package that could never be used for anything other than peeing. I’m happy at 6 inches. And by the way, for anyone who doesn’t have one of these bionic willies, it’s 6 inches and rock hard. Never been hard as this in my life - I would argue that no natural erection could ever get you as hard as this erection. The guys that have been implanted will know exactly what I mean.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #71 on: June 22, 2019, 06:22:52 PM »

Day 19 Post Op

Just shy of 3 weeks since surgery. Went for a mile walk today and felt good. I’ve not had any pain today at all but I know that’s the drugs. Still it feels great not to have the pain from before. I waited until this evening to inflate and followed Mr Fraser’s request to inflate for 1 hour at almost full inflation. It is nippy tonight rather than all out burning pain. I didn’t bother with a bath tonight and managed ok. Deflation is still the trickiest part of the process. When my scrotum compacts into a ball - pardon the pun - it’s really difficult to soften everything up to locate the switch.

A non-eventful day with not much to report, which is good.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #72 on: June 23, 2019, 05:49:23 PM »

I also got all my information from dr. And operation notes. 18 cm plus 1 rte along with all serial numbers. Who would have thought that. Changing out my air conditioners at house. The implant and air conditioners both have model numbers and serial numbers. Think that is kind of funny.

I have a solid 6.25 right now when pumped up fully. I was hoping for 20 cm but did not get it. 19 cm gets me the 6.25. Do not think I will do any more though. Fully pumped I have no ache. Time will tell
 

Still happy for sure.wife to.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #73 on: June 23, 2019, 07:36:41 PM »

Roddy,

There was a point where I found the release valve standing (since I was used to doing it while laying in the tub).  I barely turned loose and immediately re-grabbed it before I lost track of the position, I referenced my exact grip.  I barely turned loose and grabbed and relocated it again.  I did it 2 dozen times in one session using hand position and touch to build muscle memory just like I would to learn a new hand position for a new chord on a guitar.

Try it.  It helps immensely and ended the confusion once and for all.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #74 on: June 23, 2019, 10:15:06 PM »

I love that piece of advice, Hawk. I’ll be trying that next time.

Thank you! 👍🏻
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #75 on: June 24, 2019, 05:37:44 PM »

Day 21 - Post Op

First update in a couple of days. Continuing to make good progress on the 3 weeks to the day mark. No pain today. This morning when I woke up I made the decision to cut my painkillers by half - just an experiment to see how much pain is still lurking after a week full on every 2 hours. Delighted to say there wasn’t really that much pain. I’m not saying I was pain free, just much, much reduced and not that much to speak of. More of a nippiness than anything. I’ll try the same again tomorrow and see how we go.

Inflated in the bath tonight, pretty close to fully pumped up I’d say, for 30 mins and then lay on my bed for another 30 so one hour in total. Likewise, not that much pain to speak of and nothing like the crazy pain of weeks one and two. I would say the sorest pain tonight was real nippy pain that felt like it was coming from my uretha if I’m being honest. I managed to deflate no problem and am just about to turn in for the evening.

Seems all is going well here.

Take care,

Roddy
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #76 on: June 24, 2019, 05:55:32 PM »

Great progress Roddy.  I may have missed it but do you have a projection of when you can take it on a maiden voyage?

In actuality, as I understand your posts, this will be the first time you have ever been able to have intercourse "normally" in various positions.

I cannot wait for those reports.  Both of you deserve this and I could not be happier for you.

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #77 on: June 25, 2019, 03:33:58 PM »

Hi Hawk

I’m supposed to wait until I meet with Mr Fraser before taking it for a test drive. I was initially given an appointment on July 10th but I’m on holiday till the 13th so my new appointment date is July 24th. I’m sure I’ll be given the go ahead then. So, unfortunately, that’s 4 weeks from now and 7 weeks in total post op. I’ll be making sure I follow doctor’s orders as I’d hate to have gone through all this for something stupid to go wrong now. But you’re correct, I cannot wait for that date.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #78 on: June 25, 2019, 06:05:15 PM »

Day 22 - Post Op

I realised today that I’m not ready to cut down the dosage of the painkillers yet and the great progress I’ve made over the past 7 days was a result of the good mix of drugs keeping the pain at bay. So I’ve decided to go back to the same dosage as before for as long as it takes. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t in agony this morning - just quite a bit of discomfort. I think the main discomfort has been, and continues to be, a result of the pump or “my third ball” as I now call it sitting/pressing against my right hand testicle. It’s just uncomfortable, plain and simple, and it just shouldn’t be there. Still taking a lot of getting used to. When will my right testicle accept it has a new friend and stop telling my brain there’s something where it shouldn’t be?

I had a terrible sleep last night and this is something I want to share. I don’t know what to do with my new ‘flaccid’ dick. Where to put it? It’s far from flaccid as anyone who has been through this will tell you. It’s like having a pretty hard semi, except that it feels alien to me when deflated. When I deflate and squeeze out the liquid back to the reservoir, my penis is then all uneven twisted lumps and bumps. Horrible really. Definitely one of the downsides to the Titan that I’ve read about and couldn’t agree more. I find that I can only really sleep on my back. I used to sleep on my side but that has become difficult. My new bigger balls and scrotum seems too big to relax between my legs and gets squeezed between them. This very quickly causes me to move onto my back again.

Another issue for me has been underwear. I have always worn cotton/Lycra tight shorts (you know the typical Calvin Klein ones) that kept the old version of me stable and everything in place. Never really thought much about that before - funny what simple things you take for granted. I cannot wear them now as my ‘flaccid’ is too hard to sit in such a crammed space. So now I’ve gone back to what I used to wear when I was growing up - wide, loose fitting boxer shorts. In them I just hang free down the left side against my leg. No support there tho so I think this is contributing to my new ‘limp’ that I’ve developed as it just hangs there - a semi.

I had a difficult morning today. I had to visit my doctor’s surgery to pick up some paperwork. I parked the car, limped along with my new walk to the doctor’s building and when I saw the queue for the elevator, I decided I would take the stairs. By the time I got to the 3rd floor I was quite out of breath and shocked at how weak I had become in only 3 weeks. I now know, 12 hours later, that things just got on top of me this morning. By the time I had got home, wriggled out the car and limped into the house I actually became quite emotional. Started really doubting this whole process, asking myself what I’ve done, why I’ve put my body through all this. Was wondering when I’ll ever start to feel normal again? When I would ever be fit enough for the gym, to go running, to play golf?

Good day yesterday, bad day today. All part of the healing process, I guess. Mental as well as physical. It has only been 3 weeks since I had my scrotum sliced open, an alien object inserted, 2  cylinders driven through my penis with force and all the swelling and bruising that came along as a result of the trauma my bits were subjected to. It kind of hit me like a train, both the amount that I’d been through over the last 3 weeks, and the progress I have made. Bizarrely, it also struck me as a result of my mental state this morning, how little progress I have made. I know that will sound strange, even silly to some people.

I pumped up before lying back to write up this journal. Funny how the first 30 minutes are pain free and then the next 30 are quite sore. Really quite nippy.

Still, when all is said and done, I now have a straight(er) penis than I have ever had so need to keep on the positive. There will continue to be ups and downs I’m sure as I continue to adapt to this new, different penis of mine. Roll on the 24th of July till I experience whether all this has been worth it.

Cheers,

Roddy.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #79 on: June 25, 2019, 06:43:53 PM »

Hang in there Roddy. I realize that you have other issues that just impotence to deal with and maybe that is causing the pain and discomfort.
I've been luck to have had no issues, but the flaccid, semi-hard dick is HARD to get used to. I use boxer briefs with my CX and it's not bad.

Being 5 months into this process I guess I'm way ahead of you.
My problem is it wants to play every morning, but a 78 year old woman doesn't want to cooperate. Maybe 3 times a week is a good rate?

I'm get worried about the damned prostate now. My PSA numbers always hovered around 3.9.
2 months ago it jumped to 5.2.
Doc wasn't overly concerned, but he ordered another PSA test.

I got the test done last week and went in yesterday for the bad news.
It jumped another .4 or .6 and he recommended a biopsy.
I have it scheduled for Jul 5.

Maybe I should start a thread about this issue, but any suggestions or experiences would be welcome.

I told him I'm too young to die. Hell, I shot 85 today and I'd like to live long enough to shoot my age.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #80 on: June 25, 2019, 11:42:35 PM »

Thomas, not to Hijack Roddy's topic but I have researched Prostate cancer for 2 decades as much as I have Peyronies Disease.  I currently have incurable prostate cancer that was initially diagnosed 15 years ago and it is aggressive Gleason 8 and I had a PSA of 16 at age 54.

If I was in my late 70s I would never let a doctor biopsy me.  If you have prostate cancer (like 70 % of men your age do) it is very unlikely to cause you issues in your lifetime.  If it does in 10 years then take hormone treatment then.  You do not need surgery, radiation or especially hormone treatment that will kill your muscle tone, bone density, and sex drive (and much more).  Enjoy life and tell the doctor to earn his money someplace else.  If you don't believe me talk to OldMan.  We have both been with the American Cancer Society.

I will move this or erase it once I think you read it.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #81 on: June 26, 2019, 08:24:19 AM »

Roddy,
You are in the same emotional and physical place I was at about your stage.
1. It’s like you had a new dick installed and it’s just not exactly what you thought it would be. I mean sure you knew it would be tough, but you just couldn’t imagine how this new dick with all its tubes, pumps, etc. could occupy so much of your time and cause so much pain. An important thing to remember is that being on pain medications can alter your view, and it can depress you and can also be addictive. I used my pain meds as sparingly as I could. I used them, but it was aware that sometimes I could have a little anxiety and/or depression because of them. So ask your self, with everything else going on, do I feel a little different emotionally? Maybe it’s the meds.
2. New ball fighting with others. Yes, we all experience that sensation, some are less bothered than others. My experience was I had a big dick during my life, but had small balls, and I never thought about them much. But now, this pump is bigger than my balls and it’s bothering them. When I would sit, it was painful. My balls hurt, the stitches hurt. It was constant. But now at 8 weeks, things seem better. The pump still dominates my sack, but everyone in there seem to be a little more comfortable. Its not perfect, but I do have a bigger ball sack now, lol.
3. Sleeping was different, sometimes not very good at all. I started sleeping on my back, but my ball sack would be hot and uncomfortable. I sometimes took “gabapentin” which seemed to help me sleep better. I also had to sleep with my legs spread to give “the guys” room to breathe. But it was not easy.
4. Underwear was impossible. Sometimes I would just wear loose shorts and let my dick push straight out or squeeze it up in my waist band of my shorts. It seemed like the main problem was the pump and balls. Sometime I would wear an extra large jock strap which kept my dick in place, but was big enough to hold my sack, yet not too tight. I probably bought 10 new pairs of jocks, briefs, etc. I was always trying to find something I could wear that wouldn’t hurt past 3 or 4 hours. I was at a meeting one day and couldn’t wait to get home and get naked so it would hurt less. I found that underwear that was very smooth and very stretchy seemed to be the best. But everyday was a challenge. The task of finding the right underwear that hurts less was and still is a challenge, but things are better. Experiment, experiment, experiment.
5. The new penis feeling. YeS it’s a little creepy. How it feels, lumps, cylinders, tubes, it’s all foreign. You just have to accept the new you and try as hard as you can...say to yourself, this will get better. I can do this. It is a difficult journey, but try to accept the new you. Keep in mind the end mission which is to use your new tool to bring you and your spouse some amazing fun. It will happen, patience is difficult but important.
6. Your body talks, listen. I have tried to get active. I realized in my first month I had not been to the gym once. I was loosing my strength and my manhood. I started walking a mile, then 2 miles. But the walks gave me think time to focus on me, and sometimes my spouse would join me and we would talk about our feelings and other times just talk about nothing, but it was and still is fun.
At the gym I worked on my guns, legs, and some chest, but was careful not to put stress on my junk. I said to myself if I am going to start F^@$!ng soon, I have got to get myself back in shape. It’s the endgame I was thinking about. A few times through all this, my dick would shift and bulge out a little too much and I would get a few looks, but I “just didn’t care”.
7. Did I do the right thing with having this new bionic dick? Hell yes! I thought no several times, but now since I am F^@$!ng again and bringing sexual intensity to my marriage again, it’s amazing.
On Monday of this week, which is probably our 8th [email protected]< now, it was an amazing afternoon in our bed. I should have filmed it, as I must say, we both were like wild animals.  But just to be honest, when my doctor first cleared me for sex at 6 weeks, he said something very important to me. “Your dick is ready, but before you do it, make sure your mind is ready”. The long drive home gave me lots of time to think. I wasn’t ready emotionally for this. I wanted to perform and I wanted it to be good for both of us. So when I got home I shared what he said. I said let’s shoot for Tommorow. There was some disappointment, but I felt the pressure was off me. I needed to get myself  psyched up for sex without thinking about all the clinical stuff. I am glad I waited, because the next day was the new beginning to our new sex life. But each time since then, I find a little more about how to use my new equipment.... and like I said, Monday was amazing.
I hope this addresses your concerns, but always feel free to talk about your concerns on this site. There are some “very” supportive people here.
Hugs for all of us
StepOne
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #82 on: June 26, 2019, 04:25:20 PM »

Hey Stepone.

That was, quite simply, the best reply I could ever have received. A wonderfully written, honest, straightforward, informative and empathetic piece of advice. Thank you so much. I have read it twice now and will read it a few more times, taking time to make sure I absorb your advice and use it appropriately. You are absolutely bang on when you say there is great support here on this forum. Things would have been immeasurably different had I not found this forum and had the ‘balls’ to actually take the plunge with my first post. Everyone’s reaction and support has been quite inspirational since.

Thank you so much.

Roddy
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #83 on: June 27, 2019, 06:11:06 PM »

Hi Tomas1

I just realised that I never responded to your message - really sorry about that.

I’m afraid I have no knowledge of Prostate Cancer other than the assertion that I’ve heard that if you did an autopsy on most guys in their 70s who have died from whatever cause, most would have Prostate Cancer to some degree and would never have been aware of it. As I said, I’ve heard this but don’t know whether it’s true or not. As Hawk said, I don’t think you should be worrying about that at your age. You should be happy living life to the full for the next 10 years my friend. 

Brilliant that you still play golf at 80 - that’s amazing - and hitting an 85 is great too.

Good luck, sir. I hope the tests and any treatment work out positively for you.

Roddy
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #84 on: June 27, 2019, 06:28:42 PM »

Day 24 - Post Op

 Continuing to do well folks at this stage. I decided this morning that I think I’ve made an error in judgement by not pumping twice a day. I have only been pumping up for 30-60 minutes just before I go to bed at night and while I write up my journal. I don’t think that’s enough. Remember my reason for the implant was really, really severe Peyronies with a downward bend at 90 degrees. To straighten out that bend is gonna take time and regular inflation I think. Certainly Mr Fraser is happy and thinks that in time it will straighten out good and proper.

Here’s my thing, tho. When I start to inflate, like I’ve mentioned previously, I reckon I pump about 18-20 times to max. When I’m done pumping, my erect penis is rock hard but with its original congenital downward curve (quite severe downward curve like a banana). Whilst this has worried me recently, I’ve always realised, through having been pumping up for 2 weeks now, that SLOWLY over 10 minutes it aches as it stretches out to a very positive almost straight shape. It’s utterly remarkable so it is. It honestly takes 10 minutes at snails pace! Can you imagine any time my wife gets horny? “Sorry darling, you’re just gonna have to let me pump up and wait 10 minutes till I straighten out”. I wonder what will happen long term with this scenario? Anyone else out there with a severe bend and a Titan implant ever experience this phenomenon? I’d be delighted to hear from you if so?
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #85 on: June 27, 2019, 07:23:04 PM »

Roddy, I did have a severe bend, but the Nesbit surgery fixed that, the implant has fixed my leakage issue and two dimples from the Nesbit surgery. BUT
So far every time, since the implant, I have sex with the spouse, I have always performed oral and that gives me time to pump things up. And with kissing and oral, it’s always more than 10 minutes until i penetrate. Sometimes i even will pump a little while undressing. It’s all about relearning your pre-sex moves again, lol.
I remember when I first had sex with a girl. It was awkward at first. I was like ready to go, but thought, wait, I need to go slow.
So this is like starting over again. It’s time to think about how you will do it.
 Practice your moves and think it out, but still keep in mind, it’s also about love.
The afternoon after we were approved to have sex, we started kissing, I was already a little pumped, and as we kissed, I was caressing, while my other hand was awkwardly pumping. I slowly moved my kissing lips down into I was in the sweet spot, and after a little more  time, I was all pumped up.
The rest is history.
In other words, you will work this out, I
Know you will.
Eventually practice and improved flexibility of the Titan will bring it all together.
But of course, i will be curious what other replies you will get.
We are never too old to learn something new about sex.
StepOne
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #86 on: June 28, 2019, 12:41:50 PM »

Thanks, again, Stepone. Yes, bring it on - I’m getting a little impatient now. I’ll not be risking anything, however, and will wait til I’m given the green light.
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #87 on: June 30, 2019, 05:40:47 AM »

Day 27 - Post Op

The last 72 hours have been transformational in my overall recovery.  Thursday I was out and about a lot but on Friday I went into work at 11 am for 2 hours to ‘officially return to work’ on phased return. All good. I was in work, happy to see everyone and happy to get my life back, so to speak, ahead of going on holiday to Portugal on Tuesday. At 1pm I went out for lunch with 4 others and had a lovely afternoon. All alcohol free - not had a drink for 5 weeks now, not that that’s an issue or anything, just haven’t wanted a drink while on the meds. Great progress.

My next scheduled appointment to see Mr Fraser was the 10th July but because I’ll be on holiday he rearranged it for the next available time which is July 24th - 4 weeks from now.

At this next appointment, on July 10th, his words were that we would “make sure everything was going as planned and, if so, I could go home and start having some nice sex”.

3 or 4 days ago, in this journal, I was asked when I had the green light for go. I explained that I would be patiently waiting for my surgeon to give me the go-ahead and wouldn’t do anything stupid in the meantime that would jeopardise all of my progress.

Friday night was Day 25 Post Op and at 11 pm I was lying on my bed inflated good and full like I’m supposed to do twice a day. My wife came into the bedroom and I asked her to “feel how hard this is”. When she did, I got an overwhelming feeling. Before I knew it, I was very gently inside her, not deep, and only experimental to see what it would feel like for both but “definitely being sensible and NOT having sex”. When it was clear that I was enjoying it and she was too, I kept going but VERY gently and with no jerks or thrusts or anything like that. There was no pain or discomfort and I was ultra careful. I came (5 weeks worth - never produced anything like that volume before!!). We finished off and I could not believe what had just happened! Talk about contradicting myself? What the hell had I done? What was I thinking? I shouldn’t be doing that!!!!

Couldn’t sleep. Was tossing and turning. I got on this forum and private messaged Hawk and basically gave him the same info as I’m giving you and asked him what the hell have I done? What should I do now I was asking? I was really confused and worried. First time I’ve ever really lost control of my senses like that. Asked him what his advice was.

Hawk, in a nutshell, pointed out that I had no risk of bacterial infection, no external incision or wound, no internal stitches etc and basically that if I was a gentle as I pointed out, there was no reason to worry. He said that in cases where good progress has been made, that Dr Eid gives his patients the go-ahead at day 21 so I’ve no reason to worry.

This was very reassuring and allowed my mind to settle. Once again, the recipient of Hawk’s wisdom and advice. Thank you, Hawk.

Also, Hawk, thanks for your last private message with suggestions of how I should approach a conversation with my surgeon on the way forward. I never got back to you last night, sorry. What I did do was that I contacted my Pancreatic Surgeon friend for his medical advice prior to contacting Mr Fraser. He said:

“My thoughts, as a pancreatic surgeon:

1. Brilliant - well done - bodes very well for the future since that was the main aim of the nightmare you’ve been through over the years.

2. Medicine, and surgery in particular, is the art of the probability i.e. we give advice based on what we think is right (“no sex until review on July 10”) but without the benefit of a crystal ball. It’s not like July 9 is an absolute no-no but 24 hours later it’s green light time.

3. If you’re still feeling good with no problems then I think the chances of you having done any harm/injury are negligible. I’m sensing that’s your biggest worry ?

4. That being said my advice, for what it’s worth, is to wait until Mr Fraser sees you and confirms OK to go ahead. Hawk and others will know much more than me and I’m sure they’re right.

5. Here, however, is the bottom line: if you DON’T have sex before July 10 and you get a suboptimal outcome then that’s life. If you DO have sex again before July 10 and there’s an issue, you will never know if you contributed to it.

So, I’d be pretty chuffed and relaxed about it all and hugely reassured, but I’d sit tight until review. Best of all worlds ?

Only my non-specialist two cents.”

So I’ve been very lucky to have the input of both Hawk and my friend.

Oh by the way, guys, I’m aware you’ll be awaiting details of the deed itself. 😁 It really started with me holding it against my wife to see how it felt - really only intending to tease both her and myself. She ended up turning over and I slid it in a little bit at a time until I was maybe two thirds of the way in and just gently ‘made love’. The inverted commas are a result of me not really making love at all - being excited but equally petrified and also knowing I was ‘doing a bad thing’ against my doctor’s orders. Not like me to be so rebellious!! I’m normally so damn safe and boring! LOL. Anyway, I came, and I never even enjoyed it - after 5 weeks like I said cos I was so nervous about what I was doing. She said I felt the same as I did when I was younger and that I felt completely normal to her. I never dwelled on asking about loss of length as I’m fully aware that whilst I was and inch and a half longer pre-peyronies and excision/grafting, I was never one with any great girth. And whilst I’m shorter now, I’m amazed at how much girth I’ve gained.

I never had any pain during or after it all so that definitely reduced any fears I had since I’ve read a number of you were sore after sex the first few times. Like I said, however, it was very gentle.

I’ve decided I’m going to take my friend’s advice. He’s a world leading Professor in his field of Pancreatic Cancer and is exceptionally intelligent. He summed it up perfectly by suggesting that if I continued to have even gentle sex without Mr Fraser’s permission, and something went wrong, I’d forever regret it after everything I’ve been through for the last 4 weeks. And at the end of the day, what’s another 4 week wait in the grand scheme of the next 20/30 years?

Cheers, guys.

Roddy out.
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #88 on: June 30, 2019, 07:50:53 AM »

Roddy, congratulations and good for you!!!!
My thoughts are similar to Mr. Hawk.
I think I would add that you are so young, your urges just took over and it happened. Like you said, you took it slow and I am glad it went so well. Very happy for you and your spouse.
You seem like such a nice guy, enjoy yourself and try not to overthink too much. But I do enjoy reading your stories!
Stay in touch,
StepOne
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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #89 on: June 30, 2019, 08:05:00 AM »

Thanks very much, Stepone. Sorry my ending line of ‘Roddy out’ wasn’t meant to imply I’m done reporting on my ups and downs. Much more to come from me as very day or so seems to bring a new experience and if my reporting on it can help someone else in future, by knowing some guy Roddy experienced the same as him, and it all came good in the end (hopefully), then that’s the reason to continue. As I alluded to in a message to Hawk, information on Peyronies and implant surgery is so rare that this forum and all the info and advice from guys like you and everyone else is priceless. I would have been completely in the dark without this forum.

Roddy (not out)

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pfract

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #90 on: June 30, 2019, 02:05:00 PM »

Hey Roddy! I have been reading your diary but I have let the implanted guys do more of the talking. This last post of yours was very nice to read. Glad to see you are making progress on a consistent basis like this. I read you are going to Portugal on vacation... I hope you enjoy the stay in my country. A very well known destination for British folks, especially for the Algarve beaches as I am sure you know.   8)

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #91 on: June 30, 2019, 02:14:42 PM »

Hi Pfract. Yes, Olhão is where I’m heading. First visit to Portugal for me. I’m really, really looking forward to the rest and recuperation in the sun, by the pool or on the beach, some good food and wine. Just what the doctor ordered, I hope. I’ll keep you posted as to how I get on.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #92 on: July 01, 2019, 06:29:59 PM »

Day 28 - Post op

Unfortunately I’ve been in quite a bit of pain and discomfort today and have had to up my painkillers. I suspect I have been doing too much. Whilst I felt on Thursday-Saturday I had turned a big corner with my progress, I think I’ve been taking things too fast and have been out and about too much over the weekend. Today I went with my wife and daughter to a large shopping mall and walked too much.

My pain has been twofold. Stabbing sharp pains in my balls which are quite severe and last for about 2 seconds. They are sore but what is worse is the constant dull nagging from my scrotum. This ‘third ball’ is still causing havoc in there with the other two. I thought that ache would have cleared up a bit by now.

Without turning this into a moan-fest, there is another issue. My pump deflation button has become almost impossible for me to locate Sunday/Monday. It has moved, and what was reasonably straightforward to find and press, has become somewhat of a puzzle. Hawk had mentioned an exercise of muscle memory in knowing exactly where the switch is but it has definitely moved. Why the hell would it go and do that?

And to make matters worse, I’d swear my dick slowly inflates over time. Not an erection, but rather a semi. This means I have had to find a toilet, go into a cubicle, and go through the great mystery of trying to find the deflate switch inside a hard-packed, tight scrotum which is far from relaxed and far from easy. I’ve had to give up as no matter how long I waited and gently massaged my skin, I could not find it. Quite worrying and annoying.

One of my bad days today in the pattern of what will be good days and bad days but I’m going on holiday early tomorrow so that’ll hopefully be a nice relaxing time.

Cheers, guys.

Roddy
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #93 on: July 01, 2019, 07:25:11 PM »

Roddy,
1. Yes, you know you are doing too much. Cut it out.
2. Had the pains too, stabbing and throbbing, it’s a part of the process, but too much activity aggravates the healing process. I always knew when I overdid as my nights would be horrible. It would always be the new guy fighting with the other two.
3. I think the semi is a sometimes unwanted feature of the Titan. I don’t think I can ever have a normal soft dick again, but that’s not why we picked it, did we? We picked the Titan for its outstanding rigidity.
4. By the way, Someone mentioned to me that when I deflate, to press the pump button once to lock the deflate/inflate in place. I also found that as I move around, sometimes my dick will seem like it’s inflating, but I found that the cylinders had shifted a little and made it push out a little more.
5. The elusive deflate button. It does seem to move around and with swelling, things can get sketchy, but give it a few days with less fighting and I am sure it will relax again. I noticed my biggest change at 60 days, but I still get occasional pains, particularly if I wear my Speedo’s too tight and the new guy beats up on my balls. Lol. After sex, sometimes it has been a little difficult to find, but that’s because of all the action.
6. Go back and read everyone’s comments again and you will discover that you are just pushing the envelope a little too much again.
You will he fine, be patient.
StepOne
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Hawk

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #94 on: July 01, 2019, 07:37:23 PM »

The only thing I will add to Stepone's comments is that IF you lock the deflate button open you have two choices from there.
1. Leave it in that mode and if it inflates some, all you have to do, is squeeze your penis (even though your pants) and it will deflate.  There is no need to find the button.
2: Pump the inflation bulb twice to double lock the valve.  That makes inflation less likely BUT if it does inflate then you have to find and depress the button to deflate it.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #95 on: July 02, 2019, 02:27:29 AM »

Thanks, both of you. All a continuous learning curve but I’ll troop on with the button. Thanks for the advice, as always.
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #96 on: July 04, 2019, 10:01:46 AM »

Day 31 - Post Op

First post for a few days. Travelled to Portugal on Tuesday on holiday and am really relaxed and chilled. I have kept taking my painkillers through the last few days but only half the dosage and particularly seeing as I’m on holiday and want to enjoy some beer and red wine.

I went 40 hours without cycling. Inflated last night before going out for dinner and just lay back with the room door locked and read - very easy when the bedroom has a lock on it. Wish I had one of those back home as it was much safer than having to explain to teenage girls why their dad has a boner and “honestly I wasn’t masturbating, honest!”. LOL!

 To get into town where the restaurants and bars are is a good 7 minutes walk but we’ve been taking it very slow and easy and I’ve been finding no real discomfort. So that’s good news.

A question I was wanting to ask of you guys was about my penis in it’s deflated state. I have a large lump halfway along the right hand outside of my shaft. Sometimes it can sting a little which attracts my attention to it. Mostly it doesn’t sting at all. When I press into it it feels like a hollow piece of plastic tubing as it is easily squeezed. I have always assumed this is the outside of my right cylinder? Is this the ‘dog ear’ that you all refer to?

I cylcled this morning again when I woke up for an hour. Easy with no issues. I took 2 photos I wanted to share with you all so you could see where I’m at but for some bizarre reason every time I tried to attach them it kept reporting an error and telling me the pictures were of the wrong type even tho I’ve posted phots successfully before from my iPhone. Spent half an hour on it, even downloaded a file converter to make the photo a jpeg but still it would not attach. I gave up. I’ll try again tonight and see if it’s successful.

I’m heading out for lunch now so will post again tonight with photos hopefully.

Roddy
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #97 on: July 04, 2019, 01:11:00 PM »

Roddy,
Good for you, downtime is so important.
Yes it’s the dog ears, it stings a little is a perfect way to describe it. Sometimes I will pump once or twice which will prevent the dog ear from hurting. I assume that by filling the chamber just a little which prevents the crinkle(dog ear) from irritating a nerve. The only problem is it adds a little more to my bulge, but I have gotten to the point where I think my comfort is more important than a more noticeable bulge.
I am surprised you went 40 hours without a pump up. I do my first one when I get up early, drink some coffee, read the paper, etc.
Happy for you.
StepOne
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Roddy

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #98 on: July 04, 2019, 01:37:57 PM »

Hi Stepone

Just to clarify that the 40 hour gap was purely down to the awkward travel time between the UK and Portugal and styling in, grabbing late dinner, unpacking etc etc. I wouldn’t go that long at my stage unless circumstances caused me to.

Roddy
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Coloplast Titan implant on June 3rd, 2019
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Stepone

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Re: From 90 Degree bend to straight - Roddy's Implant Journal
« Reply #99 on: July 04, 2019, 04:19:59 PM »

Understood
I am lucky to have my mornings to myself.
No kids either
My dog doesn’t mind me walking around with a boner, lol
Enjoy
StepOne
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