How do you change your mind?

[samsung]

How does a person view something differently when that thing is a fact?

For example, in my thinking, a person is not allowed to be happy if they are fat. You aren't allowed to be happy with your appearance because you are not supposed to be fat.

Point I am making is, I don't believe therapists. I don't get it. If I say "I am not a man" it is because I am not. My dick is physically different than what it should be. They say things like "your penis doesn't define you." But it does. If you think it doesn't it's because you are lying. I don't see how you convince yourself that isn't so, if it is so.

Another example. I have a friend who has really bad diabetes. They cut off his leg and his foot. He is almost blind. Yet he goes to the gym. Why? Doesn't he know he will be dead in 5 years or less? He talks about jogging, etc. In short, he is lying.

I don't get it.

You aren't allowed to have a crooked dick and be happy. No therapist can convince me otherwise. It is supposed to be straight. The end.

Isn't therapy essentially convincing yourself you are a butterfly?

[JohnnyDoe]

It all depends how you look at it.
Can someone who is overweight be happy? Sure, depends on what is important to him.
Does your penis define you? Sure, depends how important it is to you.

Also do not forget that the mind is strong. Your mind can help with healing if you are positive.
I believe we need to think of the positive things in our lives. Focus on those, leave your penis alone for a while.

For me, this disease came during a time where I was stressed and anxious about stuff in life. So I truly believe that negativity is bad for your health.

With that being said, I struggle myself with what you are saying all the time. But I am at a point where I am trying to focus less on it and believe it will get better slowly. I want to challenge myself on some other things, think about new opportunities.

I believe the mind can be strong, but as with anything you need to want it, ignore the bad thoughts and be disciplined.

[Hawk]

There are men that have 8 " dicks and lose 2 inches and are suicidal, lose their job, and wreck their marriage because they withdraw and strike out at others.  They present as damaged goods.  They lose their appeal.  people either avoid them or feel sorry for them.

There are men that have 5 "dicks that are very happy in their love life, their business and other endeavors.  People enjoy their company.  Because they are confident they are attractive and appealing to be around. Is the difference the dick?  Obviously NOT.  It is their attitude.  We see people that complain they cannot learn to play guitar because their fingers are a little short and it becomes limiting and true because that is how they see themselves.  They let a small limitation shape their self-image.  Then, we see men who have lost both arms play guitar with their feet.  

Scientifically speaking a man is an adult with XY chromosome.  They are all heights, weight, different penis sizes and shapes, some with missing limbs, or testicles. The delusion is that the shape of your dick defines you as a man.  The truth is that anything that you allow to change your SELF-image will define you because that thing will change everything about you.  Men with bent penises are changed when the let a bent penis bend their brain.  There are men that lose an eye and become reclusive and self-conscious.  They become less because of how their self-image has changed.  There are others that put on a cool leather eye patch and it becomes a manly trademark.  

95% of life is attitude.  The key is learning to master attitude.  It is then that you master life.  You become someone that others turn to for advice and guidance. People are drawn to what you have.

PS: There is almost nothing that can go wrong with a penis that cannot be fixed but I would much rather have a defective penis and a sound mind than a sound penis with a defective attitude.

[NeoV]

I agree with what Hawk said.

You should ask yourself "what is happiness (what is it's function)," and what are you basing your emotions off of, at any given time? What gives a human the "right" to happiness to you?

A person can be happy if they are fat, and should be, given that they are doing what is in their power to improve their situation, or if they simply choose to not take action and are okay with that.

You are mistaken on what makes a man attractive to a woman. It is not his looks, nor his penis size/shape.
In fact, simply deciding to be happy despite your imperfections attracts woman on a fundamental level, but I'm not going to get into this here.
I have a 6 foot 4 friend who does modeling with a big penis, he cannot get a girl, let alone lose his virginity. I am coaching him and he's making progress, but looks simply do not matter and can even make you LESS attractive to women if your attitude does not match what it "should be" given your looks. A woman wants a man who does not need to compete, but is at ease in his body and in life. You can attract a woman even when you are broke and fat, and they say actually it's the only thing you really CAN do, when broke and out of shape. You can change your brain with meditation and taking action, I recommend books like "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself."

How are you doing with women lately?

The attitude of "x is supposed to be like y" is fundamentally a turn off to women, because it removes your locus of control from yourself and places it onto others. Do not be in reaction to your environment or society. Instead, decide what is good or bad by yourself. At the end of the day, a woman wants a man who is his own authority on values and emanates positivity.

[DELETED]

95% of life is attitude.

I'd say "95% of life is coping". We live in a lie. Like "Well I have a crippled crooked non-working dick, but hey! I can still learning languages and traveling and do some other crap". Let's be honest: deep in your mind all of us realise it's a big lie.

[Bubba dawg]

Well you need a positive attitude to cope

[Hawk]

AlexSamo,  The big lies you live are:
1. That you cannot do the things you mentioned and a thousand more meaningful things.
2. That you cannot be intimate with a partner with a less than perfect dick.
3. That you cannot resolve most of the issues with your penis
4. That life cannot be great without being perfect
5. That the condition of your mind and attitude do not determine your happiness, sex appeal, and success far more than the size or shape of your penis

These are clear lies perpetrated by a negative, often depressed mind that does not function as it should.  Treating that mental disease is even a higher priority than treating Peyronies Disease or Erectile Dysfunction.  

Life is difficult for everyone regardless of fame or money.  People die.  There is illness, disability, betrayal, dishonesty, war, poverty, unfulfilled goals all around us. We all have tons of negative stuff we can obsess over if we choose or allow ourselves to wrap ourselves in negative victimhood.  We can, however, find true love, heroism, humble service, great talent, and ability not to mention fulfilled goals.  If you have electricity, the internet, food, and a few dollars in our pocket, you have all the necessities of life and a thousand luxuries that most of mankind never dreamed of.  We get to choose what we dwell on and we do so by learning to master two things, perspective and attitude.

Life does not have to be perfect to be GREAT!

[2Oldfords]

    Guys, that is some of the best wisdom about life I've read in a long time. Alibabba couldn't have said it any better. One can enjoy life and be happy regardless of the state ones dick is in. When life knocks you down when you get back up you will be a better man for it because it builds strength. This disease will knock you down and keep you down if you let it.
   I don't think I have ever been as depressed/devastated as when I got my bad news 6/2/19. I was a mental wreck. That was the end of round 1. The bell just rang for round 2 and let me tell you I will overcome the monster Peyronies. Secret is I'm not in this fight alone. I have all the folks on this web site in my corner. I have friends and family who love me. All the tools needed to win are there.
                            Its up to you to use them or throw in the towel

[TonySa]

I agree, if anyone doubts this read "Mans search for meaning" by Victor Frankl.

[Hawk]

Many years ago I learned a great life lesson about attitude.  I was on a cross country trip with a friend when our alternator (Volvo) went out in Nebraska.  We had 2 hunting dogs and 3 birds of prey in the station wagon.  Every time we had to come to a full stop at a red-light we had to push the car by hand,  All we got at auto parts stores is strange looks when we asked if they had an alternator for a Volvo.  It was a comedy of one dilemma after another and the worse it got the more we laughed at the absurdity of our predicaments.  At times we were laughing so hard we could barely stand up.  My friend and I had very complementary senses of humor. As one of us would point out the absurdity of our situation and possible solutions, the other would top it.  It turned out to be one of the best times I ever had in my life.  During those events, it hit me how miserable and foul-tempered I would likely have been if I had been alone.  I realized the difference was not the degree of our predicaments, or the inconvenience, or the complicated problems we had to work through.  What made the difference was completely the result of perspective and attitude.  

I realized then that circumstances do not determine my happiness or misery.  Attitude is the determining factor.  Since then I have tried (and am still learning and reminding myself) that learning to develop and control one's attitude is the key to a fulfilling life.  We all face a horrendous pile of adversity and a plentiful helping of good in our lives.  How we choose to think and react to those situations will determine the quality of our lives.

The book Tony mentions by Viktor Frankl illustrates the same principle in a much darker and far more severe set of circumstances in Nazi concentration camps.  The power of our thoughts is one thing, in fact, the only thing, that no one can ever take away from us.  We ultimately decide our attitude and whether we will push forward and find meaning in life.