Single with Peyronies Disease

[Briansbent]

I'm interested in hearing from other men who have to suffer with this disease while single.
I am 41, and have had Peyronies Disease for about 5 years now.  I have  roughly an 80 degree bend, making intercourse extrememly awkward. I have given up even trying to date. As I can't imagine any woman wanting to deal with it.  I haven't told my friends or family, (other than my mother) about it. Since it is such a private matter.
I never read about us poor bastard who are single with this horrible disease.  If you are married, you are extremely lucky! Relatively speaking of course.
I have had bout's of deep depression as a result.  I have tried virtually every so called remedy with zero results. So I am at the point now of having to accept this situation as permanent.
How have other single guy's dealt with this? Any words of wisdom you can share?

[BentYoung]

Briansbent,

I can certainly relate to your struggles. I am 24 and found out I have had Peyronies Disease for the last several years during my first experience with sex about four years ago. I don't know how it started or why, which is also difficult to deal with. I too am single and have been much of my life. I must say, all my friends and family members wonder why I am not "trying" to find a girl to spend time with. I am constantly fending off friends urges to meet this girl they want to set me up with or hang out with their girlfriend's friends. Many of my friends are getting married and enjoying (for the most part) healthy relationships with the opposite sex. I do deeply envy them for what they have. I certainly hope that Peyronies Disease is the most difficult health problem that I deal with in my lifetime. It seems that the extent of my Peyronies Disease is not as bad as some cases (and I am grateful) that I have heard about, but the fact remains that I have a problem regardless of it's severity, and this is the hurtle that makes enjoying my youth so difficult. I wish I had better mental resources to draw on for this difficult journey. Single or married, Peyronies Disease is difficult, very difficult, having the support of a partner that has been there for a long time is something that many men can rely on. In the beginning of a relationship, social and emotional ties are much weaker, and a problem like Peyronies Disease can be a dealbreaker for some women. This is a reality I must face. It is important to keep your head up and hope high.

Best of Luck to you and everyone on this forum!    

[MikeSmith]

Yeah, i am also single.  30 yrs old... not sure I have figured out a way to deal with it yet... I just hope another person might think it's a normal variation - though it's clearly small now too which is another thing I hate.  The upward curve is normal-ish... (40 degrees roughly) but the hourglass is just ugly and I cannot get fully erect.  So, viagra helps with that.  I keep hoping that in 6 months, with VIs and using traction, supplements, etc... that it'll be reduced.  If not, I will probably have surgery in 2011 once it's in the "stable phase".  So, I'm basically waiting it out.  I've been single for long stretches of time, so waiting another year or so is annoying but I can probably make it.  There's not really much other choice except saying "i broke it..." which I actually did once...but i sort of approach each situation differently.  I'm not actively looking for anyone now... largely due to this.   Luckily (i guess) I had a low sex drive before this happened.  

[voulezvous]

I just want to jump in here as a single man in his 60's with a comment about the unique issues facing us single guys with Peyronies Disease.

First, I agree that the topic has been under-discussed on this forum. The pychological & confidence factors are huge on anyone with this curse but they are particularly difficult for the single guys - and even more so for the young single men.

I will add that, personally, I have had sexual relationships with 3 women in the 5 years since I developed Peyronies Disease. Outside of my urologist I have told only one other man but (I think) 8 women. Some of the relationships were more successful than others as far as penetration & sexual fulfillment. However, I have NEVER encountered a woman who ridiculed or teased or even mostly cared what the state of my penis was. Its a problem of confidence more than anything.

If you have not realized it by now, I beg all single men to do your best to break out of the depression that we impose on ourselves. Our male society places so much emphasis on what we think women want that we forget to ask them. It was very, very difficult for me the first time I "admitted" to a woman I started dating that I had Peyronies Disease but I was surprised to learn that it made little or no difference to her in how our relationship progressed.

Do not be deceived by what crap is dished out by porn sites about what women want. Sure, there are those who are looking only for a guy with a perfect penis but there are also plenty who are looking for rich sugar daddies. If you think that great sex that is the only key to building a happy future with someone or in just having a fun time, you are doing yourself a disservice.  

[GS]

Gentlemen,

I had been dating my fiancee for a couple of years before I got Peyronies and we got engaged after Peyronies.  When we talk about my problem, she says it isn't a "problem".  She said she is so used to my bent penis now that it seems like normal to her.  I spend many of my waking hours thinking about my bent penis and she spends none.  So, I guess my advice to single men is that you may have an issue with one woman, but you can find plenty of women that won't care about it.

The only issue you may have is when do you bring up the subject.  I would want her to know about it before she found out "the hard way".  But, that's just my opinion.

I guess the bottom line is "if you don't stress about it too much, she probably won't either.

Good luck to all of you!

GS  

[newguy]

I have been single for ages now. It's sad to say but it's almost as if I've come to terms with the state of being single in the short term. There is no great desire within me to jump into a relationship, because I want to wait out this current bout of peyronie's and see where it leads me. Perhaps in a year of so I will start to consider this area of life again. I'm sure that looking long term, the majority of people would prefer to be with someone.

There are it seems, different sets of challenges for those already in a relationship when peyrone's strikes, and those not. I can't really say that either situation is preferable because each scenario has its plus and minus points. For accepting partners, there is no doubt a tremendous reassurance, but for those who can't cope with the challenges peyrone's brings, I'm sure that situation is a biter blow for many men.

[chiguy]

I am also in my mid 20s dealing with this. My condition has greatly improved due to Pentox and the Traction device. A year ago I couldn't even look at a girl in a relationship type way. Although I still have a curve, it has improved and I have gained length. I am a social person and have become more outward with females, although I am currently not in a relationship. I am hoping this will change. If girls only care about a penis, then she isn't the right girl. Especially if the curve isn't that severe, then they are just shallow and you should move on.

[cowboyfood]

The only issue you may have is when do you bring up the subject.  I would want her to know about it before she found out "the hard way".  But, that's just my opinion.

GS,

thanks for your input...and, I know this isn't the "lighter side" thread, but your (above) comment gave me a chuckle.

CF

[elysianfields]

I'm 44 and single. I've had a couple of relationship while I've been going through the "pain" phase which for me has lasted about 18 months so far. I've been taking Pentox, L-Argiinine, Vit E and I recently added Acetyl L Carnitine. The pain is much less severe that at its peak.. maybe a 1-2 compared to the high a year ago around an 8 or so.. For me that's all I'm dealing with (which is hard enough at times).

This is an important thread bc Peyronies Disease changed my life.. Before the pain kicked in I had a 30 degree curve for as long as I can remember. I've had a lot of partners overs the years and my curve was NEVER a problem. They may had thought "huh?" but they didn't say anything about it and sex was always great...

The pain just kills your desire to "get out there".. I've walked away from casual sex because I knew if I wasn't 100% into it I'd start focusing on the pain and it would end up being well awkward.. thankfully during sex the pain seems to ease off a little.. but it comes back right after and sometimes its worse.. For me women were a huge part of my life and it seemed as though my whole purpose for being here was taken away.. I had to be so incredibly strong to not only deal with the pain but also not being able to share this with anyone. The only person who know is my close female friend who is a Dr and frankly what good is telling anyone going to do?

Anyway the only thing I can say is if your curve isn't so severe that you can have sex, you have no problems with erection and you have no pain.. you are in a very good place! I really hope I'm in the end phase right now.. just being cautiously optimistic I guess! Hang in there guys you are not alone and never give up on the possibility of beating this thing...

[newguy]

elysianfields - It is of interest that while plaque is present (according to your previous posts) that as of yet, there have not been any curvature changes. It's great news that the pain is descreasing and that you're on the best oral treatments available. Please keep us informed over the coming months!

[elysianfields]

thanks newguy; yes there is plaque, I had a doppler maybe 6 months ago to confirm. And no noticeable change in degree of curve. There is definitely a narrow band maybe one inch at the end of the shaft.. which is I guess what is referred to as an hourglass effect, but its hardly present when I'm erect.

Odd thing for me is that the pain is worse when I'm sitting.. I guess this is due to the penis sort of being compressed backwards? Same thing as others have noted is that when I get stressed the pain comes back.. maybe due to the same effect? Anyway I'm working on the premise that it took 14 months to get here, it will most likely take 14 months to be fully out of the pain phase.. For me I like my penis the way its always been (30 degrees to the left!) as I've said before its NEVER been a problem until the pain arrived...  

[George999]

The whole Peyronie's process is inflammatory.  There is a sort of ongoing chronic inflammation that does not produce pain.  But when the inflammation becomes acute, pain occurs.  This can be as a result of physical stress in terms of stretching of the affected tissue OR in terms of immune system changes such as occur with emotional stress or even heightened allergen levels.  This is how all sorts of things can affect Peyronie's pain and progression.  Anything that knocks down inflammation is in some way beneficial in terms of suppressing Peyronie's.  - George