My Implant Journal - Hawk

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I will lock this topic as I begin to build a proper journal here.  I may unlock the topic for comments later or maybe it is best to discuss questions and comments in other topics.

The first post of my journal is currently at the bottom of the page.  You have to read up.  I might change this as I get time.

First, for additional background information read the "my history link in my signature line under my posts.

I only really came to appreciate my apparent sexual stamina after I lost it.  I always was confident I could perform and never had an ED moment in my life before prostate surgery at age 54.
Up until that time, I could maintain an erection even after an orgasm and have had multiple orgasms from one erection.  In my youth when I was on a quest to see how many I could have, I have had 5 orgasms in over an hour of intercourse without ever losing an erection.  although for full accuracy, one or two of those may have been partial orgasms where I stopped just as I was starting to orgasm and did not have a complete, full-blown orgasm.  I maintained that I could not lose an erection while my penis was in a vagina.  If my wife simply said "you want to play" I would have an erection before I could get my pants off. After 50 I did notice once or twice that it took a kiss or such before I had a rockhard erection. I had one well-known sexual medicine doctor tell me that my stamina was extremely rare and that men almost universally lose erection during the refractory period after an orgasm.

I relate this because I think it is important to give the perspective of where I started, where I went from that point, and where I am today with an implant.  
So I was somewhat cavalier that prostate surgery might stop some men but I was certain that if my heart was beating, I would be able to get an erection. My wife reinforced this with an absolute confidence that I would come out of this with my sexual ability unscathed.  Looking back it was as naive as someone saying, "go ahead, cut my spinal cord I will still run and lift weights because I am in really great shape.  I will also briefly address penis size.  Again I knew I was large but never appreciated that my penis was off of most charts at about 8 1/8 - 8 1/4" length.  My girth was much closer to average at about 5 1/4 at the base although I have no real accurate memory of measuring girth much back then.

In brief my "Nerve Sparing prostatectomy done at a major cancer center left me with zero immediate ability to get an erection.  It was unthinkable. At times I would silently shed tears in the dark during foreplay.  I was taking viagra for blood flow and about 2 months out began to get some partial response so I was encouraged.  Next, I met with Dr. Mullhall, a well known sexual medicine Peyronies Disease doctor.  He prescribed bimix injections 2 - 3 times a week for penile health while recovering.  My history link in my signature chronicles that disaster which in short led to Peyronies Disease, and the founding of this forum for other men who were having trouble finding straight answers and open conversation.

After 8 months of good sex with bimix I turned from it when I saw the consequences.  Dr. Mulhall wanted me to keep injecting.  The thought even now disgusts me.  I relied on Viagra, VED, cockrings, L-Arginine, Trazodone, in various combinations.  Since I have a marriage based on open communication, mutual commitment, and a mutual interest in intimacy, we worked through the challenges.  It did, however, take an internal toll on my confidence and peace of mind.  I remember one moment about a year after the prostatectomy and several months after stopping bimix that I walked into a large indoor auction with my wife and the depressing thought hit me that almost every man in that room except for me, would be able to have intercourse with my wife.

As we experimented she was great.  One time, in particular, I told her, I need to use you like an inflatable doll.  This is not about you having sex.  It is about me seeing what works in way of positions etc.  If you began to get into the sex it will put pressure on me to do what you want in order satisfy you rather than me doing what I need to do to explore our possibilities.  In some ways, this began to open up a level of intimacy between us that was greater than any we experienced in the prior 35 years of marriage.

As things progressed (salvage radiation& Peyronies Disease) the ED got worse.  To top everything else the VED caused a small hernia to develope at the base of my penis if I pumped too much vacuum.  It was manageable but it concerned me for continued long-term use.   I was also finding that sometimes I was unsure how tight of a VED band to use.  If I misjudged I would sometimes have to repump with the VED during sex which was more than annoying.  During this period I used the VED and Traction with heavy-duty springs to try to maintain size but at times I would just get exhausted with the battle and slack off.

Over these many years, the Peyronies Disease caused moderate but changing curves that ultimately left me pretty straight.  Unfortunately, it robbed me of about 1 1/2" in length.  It also left a large dent in the underside of the base of my penis.  

I first considered an implant at age 62 about 8 years after surgery but I was fearful of more length loss.  I was also fearful of losing the well-engorged glans that I felt was a sexual benefit for both my wife and me.  I had lost so much I could not come to grips with possibly losing more.  At one point I decided I would go for an implant when I his 65 and Medicare coverage started.  The fear of more size loss kept me putting it off.

As I type this I am undergoing surgery for a 3 piece Titan penile implant by Dr. Eid, a world class surgeon in this specialty.  

Many gasped when I posted about my intention to be awake and alert during this surgery.  Why did i do it?  I did it for s few reasons.  first, I wanted to be part of the process that intimately affects me and have the rare opportunity to observe and interact with a true master applying his skills.  Next, I wanted to reassure those that need and long for this surgery not to  make it worse in their mind than it is, especially when you are in the hands of a truly great surgeon and a dedicated team. Finally, I gain the benefits of no side-effects from general anesthesia including activating my sleep apnea.  Stay tuned for any updates from the OR

I had my second appointment with Dr. Eid yesterday. I love that guy. He did a cystoscopy to make sure I had no strictures. I, of course, had to get the reassurance of size outcome and trying to get a commitment to squeeze out another 1/4 inch or so.  Sylvia his nurse already tried to assure me I was fine size wise and asked if I wanted to kill someone with it.  :) Then Dr. Eid said, "I have in your notes that you are interested in reducing the length a little, is that correct." I said, "sure Dr. Eid, I am the one guy on the entire earth that wishes he had a smaller penis." The humor relaxed me some and was followed by a serious discussion. Dr. Eid said he really gets a lot of calls from men that say they went home and measured and got more than he did in the office. He pulls their chart and says, " I measured 6 inches what do you get at home?" He said it is not uncommon to hear them say, I got 6 1/8 inches".  :) My response was, "hey, an 8th of an inch is an 8th of an inch. He told me that he is pretty sure I will take a 22cm Coloplast because with AMS he would have to go 18 cm and stack rear-tip extenders (RTE's).  It always makes sense to minimize RTE's because 1) they do not inflate and deflate 2) they push the tubing connection further forward which can make it more difficult to conceal. He did say I might need 2 different size cylinders because of a slight curve but he cannot be sure until surgery.

After the exam, I told Sylvia that I remembered a couple more questions and she said "no problem, I will get Dr. eid to come back as soon as he is finished with his other exam. Dr. Eid came back and seemed very glad to spend more time answering questions. I asked, what if I have questions a year from now about prolonged pumping or partially pumping it up or such. Dr. Eid said, " you have my cell phone number. I have men contact me 4 years after an implant to ask questions. Just text or call.

I have always said if I want love or understanding I will call a friend or a priest. When it comes to doctors I far prefer competence to bedside manner. Dr. Eid, however, delivers both. In just two meetings I feel he is a friend that is interested in my welfare.

As a footnote, Dr Eid said prolonged inflation and partial inflation are not good ideas because it can thin the tunica (I assume much like a malleable implant can migrate).

Incredible 1st (in-person) visit with Dr. Eid and two patients
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2018, 09:08:24 AM »
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Yesterday was my first in-person visit with Dr. Eid. Driving to his office from the Lincoln Tunnel was a nightmare that took far longer than I expected. Since there is parking right next door I got to his office only 2 minutes late. My first impression was that the waiting room was small and very unimpressive. Everything from that point far exceeded my expectations. I called the day before to confirm I would actually see Dr. Eid and not just some PA or Tech. The office staff almost laughed and assured me that Dr. Eid ALWAYS sees his patients and never leaves them to anyone else. After the nurse took my BP I went to Dr. Eid's office to get-acquainted, ask questions, and look at the Coloplast and AMS working models. Next, I went to an exam room and disrobed from the waist down to wait for Dr Eid. Soon Dr.Eid stepped in and said, "slip your pants on, I have a patient 4 weeks post-op that is happy to have you present". It was a bit strange having the gentleman I met in the waiting room laying there with an erection but I was far too interested to be uncomfortable. Dr. Eid showed me the utterly non-existent scar on the scrotum. There was no trace of trauma on him anywhere that I could see. Dr. Eid left and I talked with the patient for 10 minutes.

After I went back to my assigned exam room, the door opened again and Dr. Eid says, "I have another patient that is a year post op that had a robotic prostetectomy like you. I think you should meet him" (I had some reservations about reservoir placement in prostatectomy patients). Dr. Eid said, "just wrap your paper sheet around you and step across the hall". Patient #2 was a fit, 80-year-old guy that looked 15 years younger. He was being evaluated for a bladder sphincter surgery. As Dr, Eid left us to talk we found we shared a lot of history such as; prostatectomy, Peyronies, use of traction, VED pills, and injections. He was exuberant about his life since his implant which he said he and his wife used 400 times the first year. I could not detect the reservoir placement and he said it did not interfere with any type of exercise including abdominal exercise. I asked how long it was before he could drive 5 minutes to buy a loaf of bread and he said "3 days" and neither patient ever took their level two pain relief pills.

I went back to the exam room and Dr. Eid came in, injected me himself and did a Duplex Doppler Sonography. The 20 cc of Tri-mix more than did the job. He measured me erect and recorded that along with the recording of my stretched flaccid length. I asked a few more questions about sizing and rear-tip extenders. He said he does not like RTE's and that when he can, he sizes up and actually trims the rear of the fixed cylinder tips down. I left and drove through Manhattan with a raging erection that lasted almost to the point of concern.

What I learned: After 15 years as founder of this site and many years reading FT and blogs, I went pretty well informed. The concept of placing the reservoir differently in robotic prostatectomy patients was new, however. I also learned that Dr. Eid said I could use the flat washer-like rings that come with the Vacurect VED (I took one to show him) if I was concerned with glads erection. In addition to saying I could use the Vacurect and rings, he said some men use muse but thought I would be happy without either. I learned that Dr. Eid seems far more interested in visiting with and serving his patients than he is with hurrying a maximum number of patients through his practice. IT WAS A GREAT VISIT! THANKS TO DR. EID AND TWO PATIENTS THAT WERE WILLING TO HELP A FELLOW BROTHER.

PS: Both patients had Titan implants and resolved any concerns I had about the deflated state. Dr. Eid said more often than not he uses the Titan on my size penis. (Slightly over 6 inches - slightly over 7" if I risk pulling it off and impaling my pubic bone with a ruler.)

I returned for my 2nd visit and Dr. Eid performed a cystoscopy to make sure there were no strictures that would be a problem during surgery when inserting a catheter.  I have had a couple of these in the past but this was a little more unpleasant.  I will say that one of his assistants (Silvia) spent what seemed like 5 minutes rubbing my penis down with Betadine to prevent infection.  I never had any cleansing process that involved with any past cystoscopy.  If I did not have Medicare as my primary insurance, I could have had surgery the next day but Medicare requires a waiting period of either 2 or 3 days between that last visit and surgery.  I am guessing they do so with the hope that a percentage of patients will back out and not return, saving them $20,000 worth of medical bills.

On August the 6th, 2018 my wife and I arrived in Manhattan and checked into the Affinia Gardens Hotel directly across the street from the Manhattan Eyes Nose and Throat Hospital where Dr. Eid would perform the surgery.  I was his first patient and had to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 AM the next morning.  After checking in the motel ($ 450.00) per night - valet parking included), we went to find a restaurant to eat.  We returned to the ground floor hotel room just 20 feet down the hall from the lobby.  I took my prescribed antibiotic and did a few sets of push-ups and a couple other exercises as the last workout I would have for several weeks.

When my alarm went off at 4:40 Am I got up, showered, washed one last time before my surgery and took another antibiotic with a sip of water.  I slipped on a pair of sweats, gave my wife who was still sleeping a kiss and walked out the door.  Within two minutes I was out of the hotel, across the street and in the hospital lobby checking in.  Everyone was courteous and very helpful.  My nurse took me to a staging room and gave me instructions on how to get undressed, to wipe each arm, each leg, and my body down with 5 large seperate antiseptic wipes, then put on my hospital gown.  I was to put all og my belongings in a sealed plastic bag including even my wedding bad which I have worn into other surgeries.  

Soon Dr. Eid came in and spoke to me.  He is so warm and friendly it was literally like greeting an old friend when he entered the room.  I sat there in my gown with my cell phone and said, "Dr.Eid, do you remember me telling you I was the founder and Administrator of the largest Peyronies forum on the internet and that you should let me post live on our forum and on the FT forum.  I would really like to do that if at all possible."  He smiled and raised his eyebrow and said, That would be interesting, we will talk to the anesthesiologist."  About that time the anesthesiologist came in.  He was a very pleasant black man who seemed to have a great rapport with Dr. Eid.  I told him I wanted to be awake and fully aware during surgery and Dr. Eid spoke up and told him of my plan to post on our large Peyronies Disease forum.  The anesthesiologist nodded and said ok.  I admit that I was a little nervous about my plan.  Would I be as psychologically overwhelmed at being aware during my own penis implant surgery?  Would I feel pressure and tugging, or other sensations as they measured me with those rods the shove up your penis and down into the internal portion of your penis?  Would there be any even slight pain like you sometimes feel at a dental appointment?  I had a friend that was awake and chatting as he had a knee replacement where they were cutting bone.  He could, hear, and smell the process of burning bone.  He also felt his whole body shake when the doctor would hammer.  The orthopedic surgeon incidentally was a good mutual friend of ours so he was part of the conversation as he was telling me the story.  I was determined if my friend could withstand something that invasive surely I could take this surgery that invaded only my flesh.  I was determined that I had to do it.

They wheeled me into the OR with my cell phone in my hand.  All of the OR staff looked at me with a puzzled look until Dr. Eid explained.  From there on, it seemed that the anesthesiologist was in charge of me, and Dr. Eid was in charge of my penis and all of the other O.R. crew.  The anesthesiologist had me sit on the edge of the OR table with my feet hanging down and with me slumped over a little as though I had very bad posture.  He said he would give me a numbing shot that will feel like a bee sting.  I thought he meant the sticking pain of the needle but when he gave it to me it felt exactly like a bee sting although maybe not quite as bad.  Also, the sting only lasted about 3 seconds and it was over.  Next, he explained he would insect the spinal block.  I prepared myself but never even felt it.  I had to ask him if he did it.  He told me to continue to sit so the block would flow down.  Soon my feet were numb. It was a weird feeling and interesting to feel my feet just like inanimate weights at the end of my legs.  Then I felt it work up my legs.  Before it got too high, they laid me back on the table.  The anesthesiologist handed my phone to me and proceeded to give me instructions.

He said, " Normally we strap your arms to the cross pieces because some people when they are out or dozing off reach down to scratch themselves.  I am going to leave you free but you see that sheet stretched like a little 12" wall across your stomach?  Below that is the surgical field.  You cannot reach down there at any time.  This is the way this is going to work.  You can be alert and use your phone but at times we may take it from you so you do not drop it.  My job is to make sure this surgery goes as planned.  Your spinal block only lasts so long.  If for some strange reason it goes longer I will give you a general anesthesia.  If you begin to talk to Dr. eid too much and I think you are distracting him I will not tell you to quiet down, I will quiet you down".  He grinned when he said it and I told him I fully understand.
Dr. Eid had about four people assisting him.  He started with, "We have a very interesting case here today.  I have in my notes here that Mr. __________ would like us to shorten his penis a little.  I spoke up and said, that's right.  Dr. Eid has searched the entire planet in search of that one man that wanted a smaller penis and he finally found him"  Everyone laughed and I felt very at ease in the friendly yet professional atmosphere.

They began to prep me by rubbing me with antiseptic of some sort but the only thing I could feel is every now and then while they were vigorously rubbing me their hand would wipe up slightly past my navel and I could feel it.  Other than that, I was shocked that I felt NOTHING.  I watched them place drapes over my pubic area although I only saw them carry them to me, hold them up, and start to lay them on me.  The sheet blocked an actual view of my stomach.  Finally, they were gathered and I asked if he had made an incision yet.  He told me he had.  I was kind of amazed that it was like I was in the OR with someone else being operated on because I felt ZERO.  It was all very fun and interesting.  At that point, I posted a post you will read a little further down the page.  I already had the forms pulled up so I just tapped on the forum tab and posted.  I did the same for the rankTalk forum.  I recall asking him if he measured me yet and he said he had.  In videos that always looked like the worst part to me.  I figured if I did not feel that I wasn't going to feel anything.  At that point, they took my phone.  I almost wonder if the anesthesiologist put me in a bit of a twilight stage.  It seemed the surgery went pretty fast.  I could tell they were ending and I asked Dr. Eid if I could see it before he bandages it up.  He said sure and took the sheet down.  There was my penis with a catheter sticking out of it.  He pumped it up for me and I was shocked at how healthy and normal it looked.  There was no bruising and it did not look like it had been through any trauma.  He deflated it and then proceded to wrap it all up.  He commented on how short the actual surgical part of the procedure was.  We talked briefly and I was rolled to recovery.

Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 74 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums