Peyronies Society Forums

Hi everyone. I joined this great forum in early 2018 as a means of figuring out exactly what was going on with my penis and how common/uncommon my condition is. I have read extensively through the forum over the past 18 months but without ever contributing - just reading and trying to find some similarities to my own condition. I do now feel that, having just undergone an implant surgical procedure, I'd like to share my own rather unique experiences with everyone. Many reasons for wanting to now do that but the most over-riding feeling is one of being a source of hope and inspiration to other Peyronies sufferers.  My surgeon said it was the worst case he had come across. 5 days post op and fingers crossed all is great so far.

So here's my back story - sorry for the length of this.

My curve is/was ventral (down the way) and very extreme - greater than 90 degrees. The problem for me was that I have lived my whole life with a severe downward curve - which I always assumed was normal until my late teens when I began to realise most penises were either straight or curved up the way. In 1993, aged 22, I visited my doctor who diagnosed (wrongly, but I knew no better) that I had a condition called Peyronies. I was prescribed Potaba for about 12 months which I took religiously without any effect whatsoever. I saw a consultant surgeon who decided to operate and perform the Nesbit Procedure. I woke up from the operation to be met by the surgeon who informed me that I had a perfectly healthy penis, a good strong erection, and no sign of Peyronie's disease. I had congenital curvature and NOT Peyronies and nothing could be done. So off I went to continue with the rest of my young life.

Sex was always very difficult as my curve was so extreme, but my wife and I learned what was possible and what was not. Basically I would always bend my penis up the way for penetration then it would do whatever it did once inside. Over 20 years passed until the 'events' that led to my Peyronies.  The following is how I understand my Peyronies developed but all this hypothesising is done in hindsight after the disease has taken hold. Having sex with my wife 'from behind' was always impossible but what I found in my early 40s was that the strength of my erection was not as good as before, and with the decreased rigidity came the ability to penetrate from behind with a much softer, straighter, penis. During this new time of fun my penis was, unbeknown to me, being forced into a shape against its wishes and with much thrusting etc the inevitable injury took place.

I don't remember any particular event but knew something serious was wrong in 2017 when doing a pee. I noticed, when squeezing my penis, that there was a small, dried-pea sized lump right in the middle of my shaft - like deep in the centre. Alarmed, I kept my eye on it for a while. When it was clear it was getting bigger, I visited my GP (General Practioner Doctor here in the UK) who said he wanted to send me to a Urologist. By the time I saw my urologist the lump had trebled in size quite quickly (3-4 months). He diagnosed Peyronies and said he'd like to observe the condition for a period of time before deciding upon a course of action. In tandem with the growth of the lump, my curvature was now at a rigid right angle ie 90 degrees and intercourse was now distressing and impossible. In the past I was able to bend my penis up the way for penetration but not now. Such was the worry about being able to shape myself in such a way as to penetrate, there was no fun whatsoever.

I've noticed that this forum is mostly  contributed to by men from the USA, where the health system is unlike it is here in the UK. Over here you present to your local hospital, within what's known as a 'health board' each one having maybe 2 or 3 Urologists. Our system, remember, is based upon being free at the point of use and is paid for from Income Taxes. We do not have the luxury of shopping around for our surgeons. Bit of a lottery how experienced or skilled your surgeon is.

My Urologist decided that he would perform an excision of the plaque and a grafting of the area using synthetic material rather than a vein from my leg.

I underwent surgery in May 2018. After surgery I was very swollen and sore. The bandages came off on day 3 and out came the catheter in preparation for going home. My initial response was one of happy satisfaction. The downward curve was almost gone - remember it was 90 degrees prior to the op - and I was very happy.

Unfortunately, within 4 weeks things had gone wrong and I was very quickly back to where I was before surgery but a good inch shorter in length. To say I was gutted was an understatement. There was now severe indentation on the left side of my penis that was not there before. Not only was my 90 degree curve back but also some pretty bad indentation too. It was a really bad sight so it was. I went back to see my surgeon at the start of August. He was disappointed as well and said that he would like to give it a couple of months to see if the situation would somehow correct itself. On October 1st 2018 my surgeon and I decided that the only solution was an inflatable implant so he started the ball rolling. I expected to have the surgery by the end of November 2018 (thank goodness I didn't as you'll find out later). Months went by with me chasing up when the surgery would happen (there was an administrative problem holding everything up). Finally I was given my date as 18th May 2019. During the waiting time, I confided my embarrassing penis problem in an old life long friend who is a vastly experienced surgeon (not urology). He told that I should be patient and try and access the best possible surgeon I could as volume and experience are the number one concern and that I should look upon this operation as the final one and not rush into it. Better to wait much longer for the correct outcome rather than rush into another failure.  He researched my whole condition and gave me the names of 3 high volume, very experienced urologist surgeons here in the UK. I've noticed others mention Mr David Ralph in this forum, who operates out of London, but the surgeon I went to have a private consultation with was Mr Mike Fraser in Glasgow. From the moment I met him I was reassured more than ever by not only his very warm manner but also his clear wisdom and experience. He asked me to start at the beginning and tell him my whole back story. He listened intently and examined me. I had taken photos of my erect penis to show him. He said it was one of the most extreme cases of peyronies he had seen and that, unfortunately for me, the fact it was a downward curve rather than upward made it all the more problematic. He shared with me that, in his opinion, excision of the plaque was a bad decision and a wrong one, that was now going to make his job more difficult. He was, however, happy to give it a go with the implant surgery as, in his words, he couldn't make things any worse for me by trying. My penis was now non functioning. I'd even say that it was beyond 90 degrees now.

Surgery and the implantation were planned for Monday June 3rd (6 days ago). A week before surgery, Mr Fraser asked to see me again. He shared with me that he had been talking to my original surgeon that performed the excision and graft and that he was now  concerned about not being able to get the implant through the scar tissue. He was realistic in his concerns and to be honest this kind of knocked me for 6. I went from excitement to trepidation. However, I knew from doing my homework that I was in very good hands in Mr Fraser.

On Monday this week I underwent surgery. It took about 2 hours. I was implanted with a 3 piece Coloplast Titan. I woke up to find I had a fully inflated erection, bandaged up, with a catheter. Mr Fraser told me he was really quite happy with the outcome. He had managed to get the implant in with no real issue (his initial concern) and that with quite a bit of modelling, was able to get me almost straight. I reckon I have a residual curve of 5 degrees or something like that. He was disappointed that the indentation in the left side was still there but that this seemed unavoidable given the amount of tissue that had been removed first time around with the excision. He said he was interested to see how that would develop and adapt to the implant in the longer term. He said that my original grafting had failed, no idea why, and that it had really just collapsed on itself - hence the curvature back to original extremes. He could also have done a new graft in that area with the implant in place but that would have increased the length of surgery time and the risk of infection considerably. He is not ruling out another graft in future if it doesn't correct itself in time.

What I'm really seeing as different in my case to what I've read from everyone else is that Mr Fraser left me fully inflated deliberately and intends to keep me this way for at least 9-10 days. Don't get me wrong, it is unbelievably awkward being at home with a full erection but I've been lying flat on my back either in bed or on couch while the family are at school. Buying jogging trousers in XXL have helped to disguise the big bulge. Basically I keep my knees bent and don't stand up whenever any of the family are around.

For the first time in my entire life I have a near perfectly straight penis. I am absolutely delighted so far. Remember I have always had extreme congenital curvature and then that was exacerbated by the onset of Peyronies - a double whammy!!  I've to go and see Mr Fraser in 4 days - I'd assume to check on the progress and maybe learn to cycle.

In terms of pain I have been really, really sore. I think the pain is coming more from my testicles than my penis but cannot be sure. I've been taking paracetamol and Ibuprofen to manage the pain as well as a 7 day course of antibiotics. I also have codeine, which I've tried not to take as the effect feels horrible - pretty spaced out. This is Saturday and my operation was on Monday. My swelling has greatly reduced, there's not much bruising now, but the pain is still really intense. I don't know when that will recede?

In terms of size, I have lost a fair bit of length in 2 years. I was 7.5 inches hard 2 years ago but now, after excision and grafting, and the implant, I'm exactly 5.5 erect. I can imagine this will horrify anyone reading it but not me. Sure I'd rather be longer - and maybe in time I will be again - but you've no idea the pleasure I'm getting from looking at my straight erection, even if it is shorter. My wife says I'm "like the cat the got the cream". I honestly am delighted. So far, so good. I know it's early days and I'm intrigued that unlike everyone else, I've been left inflated since the operation. I'll definitely keep you all posted. Thanks everyone for letting me share my experience.

Hello Roddy,

This is great news and I thank you for sharing it with the forum.

Stabler

hey Roddy! i read the whole post. Quite the story you shared there. It was very unfortunate what happened to you.
It is not uncommon for doctors to leave patients inflated for the first days. Depends on the situation. Leaving the reservour full after surgery encourages the scar tissue to form around a full reservoir, preventing auto inflation later on.  Not exactly sure why doctors leave the penis inflated, but def have read about it.

Please keep us posted and thank you for sharing this with us.

Leaving it inflated, or frequent cycling after surgery maximizes the length.  When you go back he'll have you fully deflate for periods if thine so the encapsulation around the reservoir is large enough when full so as to not force an auto inflate if the implant.

Roddy,

I can't believe you have been depriving the members of your posts.  Your write-up was superb.  Now that you have piqued our interest in you and your heroic struggle.  Please keep us updated.  I am not at all shocked that you were left inflated.  The only risk is some discomfort and a small scar capsule forming around the reservoir which can cause potential auto inflation because the reservoir has pressure on it when it tries to hold all the saline.  I think the risk will be minimal IF you make sure to fully deflate for long periods as soon as possible.  You might even have to deflate and a few hours later deflate again to be sure all fluid is forced into the reservoir.

I am so hopeful for your outcome and pray the results turn out fantastic for you and your wife.  If the outcome is as we hope, you have given us one more surgeon we can put on our list for our brothers in the UK.

Did you have to pay out-of-pocket since you selected your own surgeon rather than taking one randomly provided by the NHS?  If so what was the cost?

Please turn this into your personal implant journal.  It is so important for all of us but especially those that do not have access to the more commonly mentioned U.S. surgeons.

Cheers!

Thanks, everyone, for your replies. Leaving it inflated so far has definitely allowed whatever scarring is going on inside my penis to form around the implant within the cavernosa, I guess? I hadn't thought anything about the potential for the other scar tissue to form around the reservoir in my low abdomen. Makes perfect sense and worries me slightly. Could lead to some 'interesting' tmes ahead if it auto-nflates without warning. One bridge at a time, I guess. The curve was so extreme he went all out to fix that maybe. I'll find out when I meet Mr Fraser on Wednesday.  I wish I had photos to show you of the pre-surgery bend but they were on my phone and I got rid of them ASAP in case anyone stumbled upon them.

Yes, Hawk, you are absolutely correct about the NHS. I had been told that unless there was very good reason why 'your local Urologist' from your own Health Board could not perform the operation they would not pay another Health Board to perform the operation on their behalf when it could be performed by them. All finance and politics. As it turns out, I was just exceptionally lucky as Mike Fraser works for my local Health Board. Upon finding out that Mr Fraser was one of the leading Penile Implant surgeons in the UK, in terms of volume and experience, AND that he worked for my local board, it all fell into place for me. My own surgeon, who had performed the excision and grafting first time around, was one of Mr Fraser's colleagues but decades behind in experience. I made an appointment to see Mr Fraser at his private clinic (£250) and explained to him that I didn't have private medical insurance. He agreed to put me on his list on the NHS. Yes, there would be a wait but I was now under the care of an experienced surgeon. I was very happy and very lucky that things happened the way they did, geographically speaking.

I'll be very happy to update as I go along.

So this is day 7 post implant surgery. As I stated in the first post of this journal, I have been left fully inflated since last week. Does anyone else have the experience of this? I think my wounds are healing well but, unlike everyone else whose stories I've read, I'm in a lot of pain. Every day I hope it will be better than the previous day but that's not the case. I've spent the last week lying on the sofa doing nothing but watching box set after box set and I'm bored out of my mind. Whilst doing this I experience no pain at all. As soon as I get up and walk around, stand and make a sandwich or a coffee, I'm in a lot of pain. For long enough it wasn't particularly local to either my penis or scrotum but seemed to just be a coming from that area in general. I wonder if it's the pressure inside my penis? I hope there's nothing wrong? I've never had a raised temperature and the swelling has all gone so I'm telling myself there's no need to unduly worry about infection etc. Rightly or wrongly, I don't know. I was going to call and ask for my surgeon for reassurance since I've scoured this forum and haven't found anyone else with the same post-operative pain. I haven't called as yet as I'm seeing him in 48 hours from now. What do you think, guys, is it because I've been inflated for a week?

As I understand it, it is only 2 days until you see your surgeon.  That will be a big moment since you will get a lot of answers (write all your questions down in advance).

I suspect your pain is primarily being inflated.  Some other surgeons do leave patients either inflated or partially inflated after surgery.  Most complain about pain.  All of us that are sent home deflated and begin to cycle within a week experience pain when inflated longer than 30 minutes so I cannot imagine the discomfort.

Hopefully, you will be deflated on Wednesday and hopefully, you will begin to cycle then.  You should be able to get a key ring exact size model of your Titan one-touch pump.

Ask if you can lie down in a tube of hot water.  It will make cycling far easier.

Thank you, Hawk, for your prompt reply. Really appreciate your support. I'll not lie, the pain is quite intense having been inflated 24/7 for a week now. All for the greater good, I hope. Pardon my ignorance, or maybe it's the drugs affecting my brain, but what's the key ring for?

So you can learn how to deflate and practice where the buttons are to help you out where things are positioned.

I was left partially inflated, painful but not as painful as fully inflated from what I hear.  Hang in there and take any pain meds the doc prescribed, even if it's just Tylenol.  Let us know how it goes at the docs.

I want to be clear here that whether or not you can lay in a tub has to do with whether your surgeon water-proofed your incision/incisions.  Some men have more than one incision.  I do not think you mentioned whether you have a scrotal incision or a pubic incision.

IF you can lay in a hot tub it will make cycling much easier because it will totally relax the skin on the scrotum making the pump and deflate button much easier to locate.  It will also provide pain relief while pumping and while inflated.  I wonder if you will have pain from inflation considering that you have been inflated for over a week.  During inflation have the keyring model of the pump right with you.  It will help you orient how your pump is turned and how to locate the deflate button.  A Titan takes some conscious effort to deflate. It is not something you can do accidentally.  It also takes more pressure to depress the inflate bulb than you would expect. We will discuss that more when you get the go-ahead to begin cycling.

I would try some alternating hot and cold packs to help with the pain until Wednesday.  As Tony said, take pain meds if they were prescribed.  If not take both Advil and Tylenol since they can be combined.  Do NOT take Tylenol with any prescription pain meds unless you are positive they do not have Tylenol in them.  Most oxycodone like Percocet do contain Tylenol and you can overdose on Tylenol. 

Good luck brother!

Post-Op Day 9

Saw my surgeon, Mr Fraser, today. He was very happy with the outcome so far, so that's good to know. He took 'the edge' off my inflated erection which allowed me to go home without holding a jacket in front of my groin. To be honest he only deflated partially so I was eager to get home and deflate as much as I could. Soon as I got home I ran a warm bath like you guys suggested. Great advice, thanks. Once I was relaxed in the bath I had a good feel around in my scrotum - Hawk, my incision was in the scrotum) with my 'key ring' to hand (like you said earlier). I must agree with Stepone from another post on here, my bits in there are very tightly packed and I struggled to get my balls out the way to locate the deflation button. I persevered for what seemed like ages and managed to deflate a a fair bit but nowhere near fully. The pain in my scrotal sack from trying to depress the magic button was so bad that I eventually had to give up. So I would say it felt about 70% deflated. I'm very conscious of the advice from you guys that I need to fill my reservoir so that scarring around it doesn't become an issue - if it hasn't already become an issue. Within 5 minutes of coming out the bath, the pain was intense again in what feels like my balls and the very base area of my penis. Again, I've spent the best part of 3 hours lying watching tv as lying seems to be the only time the pain is not there. Soon as I get up for a walk to have snack, a pee or drink or whatever, the pain starts again. When I said to Mr Fraser today about the pain he said that all guys have different levels of pain and different experiences post op. He said that if it's still as bad 1-2 weeks from now then that would be an issue but not just now.

Something that is worrying me already is that I'd swear my penis is getting inflated again without me actually touching the implant. It may be my imagination, and I hope it is, but I've tried to deflate in my bedroom without even getting as close as being able to locate the depress button. My scrotum is pretty packed out and I can feel the inflated ball but no button above it. Like Stepone said, it's like it has moved up behind my balls right under the base of my penis. This seems so difficult! If it were not for all the experiences I've read on here - all experiencing the same initial difficulties, I'd be overwhelmed and would be quickly demoralised and defeated but because of you guys I know it's a long struggle initially but that I will win and I will get there. Thank you everyone.

I'm off for another bath and another attempt at deflating this new bionic willy of mine.

So I had another bath and squeezed and squeezed and squeezed till my nails were cutting right through my scrotum skin, and given that I have nails bitten right down, that's an indication of how hard I squeezed. I tried to keep my fingers as flat as possible but surely it doesn't always take that amount of pressure? If you imagine standing looking down at your own penis, and that your head is 12 o'clock and if it were perfectly flaccid, the penis would hand on 6 o'clock. Well, after all the squeezing it is sitting out at 5 o'clock. So more deflated than before but still not fully deflated. I'll try again tomorrow morning. I'm aware that I'm at least 5 hours ahead of you guys in the USA.

Post-Op Day 10

Had a bath this morning with the intention of cycling. Was in the bath for a good 30 mins and even tho my scrotum was nice and relaxed, I could not inflate the pump. Didn't matter what I did I just couldn't do it - seems to have no give in it at all and stays rock hard when I press it. Add that to the worst night yet since the operation in terms of pain and I'm at rock bottom now. I just want to phone my surgeon and ask: why can I not deflate this properly? Why can I not depress the pump at all? Is there something wrong? Why am I continuing to be in this level of pain? I came in to find the phone number of the hospital and thought I'd google 'cannot get Coloplast Titan to pump up'. From watching a video that was posted on FT I noticed that the guy was standing rather than lying and was pulling the pump down the way as he squeezed. So I tried the same. At last there was a clear pressing down on the pump and I could feel the pump move in and out like squeezing a tennis ball or the likes. I became immediately aware that my penis was starting to inflate - no doubt about it. Guys, the pain in my penis shaft was like nothing I've ever felt. Truly excruciating. I lay down for a rest for 5 minutes before trying again. Totally gutted to see that my erect penis is nowhere near as straight as it was post surgery! I wonder if the penis I've had this last week was the result of some pretty extreme modelling. The downward bend is still there. So disappointed. I've now stood back up and pumped another few times. My dick feels like it is going to explode with the pain. I lay down for 10 mins thinking that I'll go back and try and inflate more. Having just stood back up and tried, the pump has be one impossible to squeeze again. What the hell is going on here? Why do they have to make this thing so difficult to press on? Not a good design at all. I appreciate this is a long road to recovery but the pain I'm experiencing is quite overwhelming- I wonder if the trauma that's going on for me is a result of just how MUCH of a mess my penis was in. I wish I had preop photos to share with you but basically my penis was straight from base to middle and then it turned full 90 degrees down the way with no gradual bend - a very extreme bend. I'm going to try uploading 4 photos I've just taken. You'll see the extent of the dent on my left side where the graft was and failed leaving an indent. Mr Fraser said he'd maybe look to graft again in future if the implant doesn't fully correct it. To be honest tho, that's not as big an issue as the curve still being there - which it wasn't pre- deflation yesterday. Thoughts and opinions welcome please?

Thank you.

Roddy,  I empathize with you over your pain and difficulty. 

First a few questions,
1. It appears that your incision on your scrotum is horizontal rather than verticle with the raphe.  Is that correct?
2. Did you get clearance to sit in a tub of hot water?
3. Did you get approval to cycle?
4. What pain meds are you taking?
5. When do your stitches get removed?

Pain and pain tolerance varies significantly among patients and from one procedure to another.  Your pain as you describe it seems a bit excessive, but you don't mention if you are taking any pain medication.  My greatest pain was sitting.  I was fine laying down or walking.

I am surprised that your doctor did not have you deflate and inflate at least a few pumps in the office to teach you how to find the deflate button without so much difficulty.  I assume that he did give you clearance to cycle.

As long as you stay infection free, ALL OF YOUR DIFFICULTIES WILL VASTLY IMPROVE!  Everyone has their own unique experiences with the misnamed "Titan One Touch" pump. 
IN THEORY, you are supposed to be able to give one 2-3 second hard squeeze on the deflate button and lock it in the open position and release your grip on the scrotum altogether.  You can then deflate by using either one or both hands on your penis.  It is uncommon that men can do this in the beginning.  With me, it took 3 months before the pump broke-in, my scrotum toughened up, and I mastered the exact grip needed to make the "One Touch" work like that. On occasion, It still takes a couple of attempts.

Typically men have to depress and hold the deflate button down because they cannot press hard enough to lock it open.  While pressing the deflate button, they use the other hand at the same time to squeeze the penis with their other hand.  Their deflate button does not lock open.  Some men get it to lock open from the beginning, for most it takes weeks or months, for some, they never get it to work, and it always is a two hand operation to deflate.  It is important to know that IF you get the valve to lock open, then the first squeeze after you deflate takes significantly more pressure than the subsequent squeezes.  That first squeeze has to move the valve from the deflate position to the inflate position.

As far a digging your fingernails into your scrotum, I have found that the deflate button is easier for me to depress if I depress it with the side of the first knuckle of my index finger rather than the tip of my finger.  I think that part of my finger has less give and focuses the pressure right on the button better.  I place my thumb on the back side and then use my other hand to stabilize the pump so the whole unit does not shoot out of my hand from the pressure.  If you are trying to lock the valve open, you can also use the other hand to assist your grip hand to increase your grip strength. If you are only partially depressing the deflate button, you need your other hand to squeeze your penis.

ALL OF THIS SOUNDS LIKE SUCH A STRUGGLE, BUT IT IS NOW DONE ALMOST AS AN AFTER-THOUGHT!

Remember that you can move your scrotum skin around (sliding it over the pump), so you are not always squeezing the same spot on the scrotum.

One reason your penis still looks bent is that you are nowhere near fully inflated and it certainly looks like a lot less than the 90-degree bend that you had.  Both the immediate effect of full inflation and the gradual effect of cycling your implant over the first few months will make a big difference.  If the dent is due to a loss of tissue, it may remain, BUT it will only add more stimulation to your partner than one consistent diameter, so if that is your only issue in the end, I would not sweat it if it were me.

Finally, if you hang at 5 O'clock when deflated at just ten days out, then you are fully deflated.  The new stiff cylinders typically take months to get to their optimal hang plus you probably still have a little swelling in your penis.

Lay in a hot tub, inflate, relax, then inflate some more, relax and inflate some more.  Until you have improved at deflating, you might not want to inflate to the maximum or wait until the pain is distracting before you deflate.  When you are crazy with discomfort it is not the time to be urgently trying to find the deflate valve.  Try to deflate, relax in the tub then try again, relax then try again.

May the force be with you Roddy.  I am confident you will soon post that this is the best decision you have ever made.

I pretty much don't need to repeat hawk's words. In your situation, given your curvature and previous surgery and dent I would say that you would be having some increased pain from your penis stretching out. I enlarged the pictures and was amazed at how big the dent is. But do keep an eye out for an infection and your fingers crossed.

As for the curvature correction, browse through ''curved's'' journal and see how is curvature was and how he says it improved so far. Only with time and you mastering inflation and cycling it.

Please keep us posted and good luck with this. I hope I will be implanted too, sooner rather than later.

Thanks, once again, for your support guys. Without this forum and your support I wouldn't have a clue what's going on down below or how to inflate/deflate and certainly wouldn't have the reassurance that, in time, everything will calm down. I'd have thrown the towel in.

Pfract, thank you. I hope you get your date soon and you too can experience the highs and lows of what I'm going through - what a large number of you all have gone through.

Hawk, I always await your responses to my posts with anticipation. As a man of years experience in all of this, and someone who clearly has researched the whole area, your input has been first class and so supportive. I genuinely thank you.

In answer to your questions, yes my incision is horizontal. Must be a reason for that? Secondly, I never asked was it ok to have a warm bath but I did tell Mr Fraser that I intended to, given the advice of everyone on this forum that cycling is easier in a hot bath. He said that it would maybe be more difficult as it makes everything slippy. But I did it anyway. Yes I've had permission to cycle and that's why I started last night. The medication for the pain has different names to what you guys seem to have over in USA/Canada. The drugs that I've used to try and control the pain are paracetamol and ibuprofen, and when they were not strong enough I moved to Dilhydrocodeine and then onto Co-codamol. After today's extreme pain mentioned in the previous post, I made an appointment with my Doctor who prescribed me Tramadol Hydrochloride - which is a morphine based drug. I've to take 2 50mg capsules 4 times a day. Hopefully that will work. My doctor had a look at the scrotum stitches (dissolvable in time by the way) and my penis in general and said there is no sign of infection. He said the extreme pain will be coming from the trauma of the insertion of the implant. He said that it's perfectly normal for me to struggle with the pump due to the amount of inflammation and general swelling of the area. He too said that given how bad my preop bend was that that's a big improvement.

I agree, Hawk, that sitting appears to be the most intense pain along with standing in one position.

I'm very disappointed that Mr Fraser didn't allow me time yesterday for a proper demonstration of cycling. Like I said already, had it not been for you guys and the numerous articles and videos I've read/watched I'd have been left high and dry to work out what to do. Point of note: what the hell did people do before the internet? What a Godsend.

"Remember that you can move your scrotum skin around (sliding it over the pump), so you are not always squeezing the same spot on the scrotum". Thank God you said this as my early observation was that this area is going to become badly inflamed if I'm always pressing the same area of skin against a hard plastic object. That clears that up, thanks.

Mr Fraser wants me to keep the implant inflated as much as possible to try and correct this bend over time. I've to see him again in 4 weeks when hopefully everything will have calmed down and I'll be able to try some "nice sex". Fingers crossed - seems an eternity away but I WILL get there! I'll be doing plenty of lying down over the next 4 days as the US Open is about to start which gives me the perfect excuse to lie still glued to the TV.

Thanks for the kind words Roddy.  I am glad to give whatever help I can because having been there I place a huge value on accurate information.  information is indeed power; power to make informed decisions, power to overcome adversity.  I thank you because every post you make contributes to that knowledge base for thousands of men who never post.

I am not sure if you discussed concern over reservoir encapsulation with him.  It is not really critical that you did since it would mostly just give some interesting insight into his thoughts.  The process is pretty well understood.  I would be certain to find hours a day when I could be 100% deflated.  This might mean deflating then re-deflating an hour or two later in case you had some fluid forced back into the cylinders.  This will not only stretch the reservoir capsule but it will give the tissue in the penis a little break since there is some minor concern with erosion of penis tissue if it is under constant tension from an implant such as a malleable implant. This is seldom an issue with inflatable implants. One schedule you could try is to totally deflate at night since just your position will make it less likely for any backflow to occur.  It might also give you a more comfortable nights sleep.  You can then inflate for various periods of time throughout the day.  Cycling less often for longer periods of time will, of course, mean less trauma to your scrotum than frequent cycling for shorter periods of time.

With a Titan, 100% deflation will be obvious because you can feel the cylinder are flat along their length.  This might be slightly harder to feel if you are still a little swollen.  You will also very likely feel folds often called dogears at some point on each side. 

PS: The horizontal incision is just a preference that some surgeons use.  The only downside is a somewhat visible scar that is completely invisible if made vertically on the ralphe.

Post-op Day 11

Just a brief update for anyone following this journal. I hope me doing this will provide others about to go through an implant or those who have just been through an implant, some real insight into what they can expect. Obviously all cases are purely individual and different. Was fully inflated over night and slept very well - with thanks to the 2 x 50 mg Tramadol I took at 5pm and then again at 10pm. I awoke at 3.30 am and took some more. When I woke up at 7.30 am I felt really spaced out (not in a good way) so thought I'd take it easy with the drugs. I waited until the family disappeared for school/work and until I didn't feel as spaced out before I had a warm bath. Once again, the bath helped relax my scrotum and without it I doubt I would have managed to deflate. There was a fair amount of flaffing around on my part but I did manage to deflate much easier than yesterday. I'm taking Hawk's advice and giving the reservoir some hours with the fluid in it. I'm comfortable lying on the couch watching TV but just got up to make a coffee and the pain in my testicles is quite bad - a really sharp pain. Surely that's me digging around in there that's creating that pain. I intend to inflate later today - probably after dinner around 6 pm. Must say I'm not looking forward to that after yesterday's pain during inflation. We'll see how it goes and I'll report in later.

Hey Roddy. I didn't understand when you said ''you slept fully inflated and felt good'. Weren't you in great pain while inflated? Or you made a mistake and you meant to say you slept fully deflated?

As for fully deflating, Dr eid (hawk's surgeon) sends his patients home fully deflated and starts inflating at day three or four. Pain permitting. (not sure I mentioned it before.)
You say he wants to keep you inflated for long periods of time. That seems to be consistent with an aggressive cycling protocol.

One thing you said that made me think was this :

Quote
I'm very disappointed that Mr Fraser didn't allow me time yesterday for a proper demonstration of cycling. Like I said already, had it not been for you guys and the numerous articles and videos I've read/watched I'd have been left high and dry to work out what to do. Point of note: what the hell did people do before the internet? What a Godsend.

That is exactly one of the problems many people face while going through this procedure and it bothers me deeply.  A lot of doctors don't take the time to properly instruct patients on inflation techniques nor give them cycling tips to  improve their outcome. Itsucks

Thanks for updating Roddy!  I'd just second hawks idea of being fully deflated while sleeping.  Pain is NO fun, but it will soon be behind you.

Hi Pfract/Tonysa

I did indeed sleep fully inflated - and slept like a kitten too - all as a result of the morphine based drug that I'd taken at 5pm then 10pm last night - a powerful drug for sure. I needed that due to a real surge in pain yesterday. To be honest with you, I've been inflated at night more than not since my surgery on June 3rd so I have developed ways of lying in bed that allow me to sleep. I would not have slept last night, however, if it were not for the drugs. Also totally agree about the lack of practise I had in the surgeon's office - kind of left to my own devices and like I've said already, if it wasn't for this community, and all the great advice, I'd have been at rock bottom. Anyone wishes to ask any questions relating to what I'm going through just now, I'd be happy to help - just as I have sought the advice of others on here.

Take care,

Roddy

Just inflated 20 minutes ago. I need some advice please from as many guys as possible who have had an implant. Pumping with the internal pump was difficult for sure but I accept it will get easier in time. No problem there.

Once again, same as last night, I've never known sharp pain like it in my penis. Horrific pain guys. Like someone has inserted a knife inside my dick and is scraping it around. Unbelievably sore - like nearly passing out/vomiting sore. If this is normal at the start and will get better in time then I can accept that as my penis tissue adapts - sore as it would be. I am very worried tho that this pain is the sole consequence of my natural penis wanting to take the same shape as it has always taken ie a massive turn down the way whilst at the same time the inflated tubes are doing their very best to do the absolute opposite and straighten him out. End result - utter agony. Did anyone else have as severe a bend that has gone through the same level of pain?

Sorry for the moaning but it is very extreme.

My wife, watching me in agony, told me to deflate. She said "look it's been an hour inflated, in absolute agony, just deflate for tonight." I was trying to ride it out but turns out to have been good advice.

The good news is that I deflated relatively quickly. Man did that immediately reduce the pure hellish pain of the erection. I'll go through the whole thing again tomorrow.

Any advice from someone as badly curved as me would be most welcome.

Roddy

Sorry, I know I am not implanted but I have seen this suggested: how about  you trying pain medication so you can inflate daily? Like. Sleep deflated and take it to inflate 1hour a day?  I wouldn't say the narcotics but pain killers and itry it out to see if it lessens the pain while inflated?

Also... I am under the impression you had a graft put in but then it retracted so you where left with the dent? Is that correct?

Yes, Pfract, that's correct.

I wonder if that makes it more painful to you? May I ask is you read "curved's journal? He had some bad pain too from all the severe plaques he had.... What about using medication to inflate and bear the pain. What do you make of that?

Roddy, so if I understanding you are 11 days out from surgery and you've managed 30 plus minutes. I can only tell about my pain, but I only inflated for the first 3 weeks when I was in the hot bathtub and when I had taken a pain pill. I had scar tissue from previous Nesbit surgery to correct a 90 degree side bend and hinge. So sometimes the pain was like knife cutting.
Everyone experiences pain differently, but I also had a beer or a shot to help too, but the pain did diminish over time, so if the pain is getting less, you are probably heading in right direction. Everyone is so different, but it seems to me that you might be rushing things in your expectations.
I know it's very frustrating, but I just had to hang in there.
I called my doctors nurse a few times and she was comforting, but pretty much said to hang in there. This is not an easy process, but with your young age, hopefully you will get to a point that the pain drops off. Hopefully Hawk will weigh in with his thoughts. He is a compassionate guy with lots of helpful hints. Hang in there bud.

Thank you Stepone. Delighted to receive your reply and your words are very encouraging. Perhaps I am expecting too much too soon? This is  post op day 12 for me and without doubt the most pain free day so far in terms of general testicle, groin and penis area. That constant ache doesn't seem to be here today - which is progress. Apart from my 30 mins inflation earlier, which was jaw-dropping pain as I've said already. That went away quickly tho with deflation. Worried I'm guilty of boring people taking about the pain all the time, but it is that extreme, and that's where I'm currently at. This morning when I literally rolled around the floor and couch heavy-breathing and cursing for 30 mins, I decided enough was enough and deflated.

I now know that the big issue with deflation for me is just separating my balls to locate the deflation switch. I know this will get easier in time but for now I can quite easily, with patience, recognise the small ridged circle with my finger tip that indicates the deflation button. I have worked out that lying on my back to deflate seems easier for me - perhaps it's gravity allowing more fluid to travel down the way towards my reservoir than up the way if I were standing.

I'm actually sitting in the garden typing this, with a coffee, so important to recognise small amounts of progress. Before today, sitting upright was painful yet here I am sitting in the garden for the last hour - pain free.

I'm going to inflate again later - I'll make sure I take 2 Tramadol 30 mins before I do but I know from this morning that even with the strong drugs, the pain is still intense.

I've been reading Merrix's journal and am only on day 13 so far but am very glad to have recognised a lot of similarities and now, again, am reminded of how this is a LONG TERM journey.

For anyone that has followed my journal so far, you'll remember that I came out of surgery fully inflated. I was utterly delighted with the work that Mr Fraser had done and had managed to correct a 90 degree bend to honestly between 2-5 degrees. If it stayed like that I would have classed that as straight given my life so far living with an extreme bend. Problem is tho that in all my attempts to inflate so far, my bend is really quite severe. As minutes go by, the bend lessens and gets better as if it's adjusting and stretching slowly but the pain stops me from keeping it inflated. I was brave enough this morning to wait 5 minutes and then pump some more. Enter even more pain - back in the hot bath under the water to try and mask the pain, back out the bath for another couple of pumps, then back in the bath for 5 minutes before I had to deflate due to the pain.

You see, here's my dilemma: if post operation Mr Fraser was able to leave me 9 days with a full erection and pretty straight, it shows it is possible. Only problem with that tho is that I was flat out cold on the operating table whilst he managed that. God knows how. I'm getting nowhere near the level of straightness he got but I am aware that the pain is stopping me from fully inflating.

Because I was so bent before there is definitely internal trauma going on as I try and pump my man up. I'm sure this is what is causing the extreme pain. Will it go away in time? If so, why? What would be happening in the passage of weeks that would decrease that pain? If that pain were to go away I know I could sleep inflated (if there was no pain) and that would give a good chance of 7-8 hours stretch to my penile tissue while I sleep.

I'll stop now, have some dinner, and try inflating again in an hour or two.

Cheers guys.

Roddy

Roddy, I apologize for not reading all your posts prior to my last reply. Somehow I missed it on my phone.
So I had a surgery to fix my bend prior to the implant, but I lost considerable length.
So what I was left with were two indentations on both sides of my cock. I did notice that when I am fully inflated they are gone.
I did have very tender, pain causing dog ears where the indentations were, but as time has passed by, the dog ears have become softer and less painful, but I am going on 6 weeks.
Have you had any dog ears? (Folds in the two cylinders).
I stayed overnight at the hospital where the surgery was performed and they kept me inflated overnight. When they deflated me, it was very painful even with the morphine drip.
I think that time will eventually cure your painful inflations, but could it be yours is more painful because you are stretching to correct the bend, which stretches the scar tissue from the bend and then stretching tissues which is the normal part of inflations due to the cylinders being in your cock. So I am thinking you are experiencing a double whammy, so to speak.
My thoughts are be patient. I know when I was at 4 weeks, the pain was still making me wonder if I had done the right thing in having surgery.
I still have a way to go, but it seems like all the sudden, things drastically improve.
Again, you are still too early in your journey to expect more.
I truly feel your pain and your urgency to feel better. Stay strong and courageous, you will get through this.,
Oh I almost forgot, deflation has caused me many shots of pain. I know it is so hard to find that button. I have actually pressed and my fingers slipped, causing horrific pain when the pump shot out between my fingers. Horrible!!!!
It's a long learning process, be patient. You just have to find the easiest and least painful way to do it....and what seems to work for a week all the sudden hurts like hell.
This is a real trial and error process. Stay in touch, as this is important stuff.
StepOne

Thanks, StepOne. Thanks for your detailed reply. I am obviously expecting too much too soon and I think you are spot on with the 'double whammy'. If guys who have been implanted due to ED feel pain on inflation then, yes, I will also feel that same pain but like you say, the 'double whammy' of trying to straighten out a severe bend and stretch that scar tissue will be producing lots more pain. I've reconciled this whole pain journey that I've set out on as something that I'll simply have to grin and bear over months till it's better - need to up my pain threshold so to speak. I will manage this.

And yeah, I've had a few 'pump fly out my grip' moments so far, right into my testicle and it is an extreme shock to the nervous system to say the least!!

Thanks again for the support.

Just hang in there. Literally and figuratively. It gets better. I have to say i never had a wtf moment at all. My only wtf moment was a wtf why the f## did I have to go through 4 urologists to find one who would do the right tests to tell me I had a venous leak and would never have a hard erection long enough for sex.

Scheduled my implant as soon as I could when I found out. Only a 30 to 35 degree peyronies bend though but it was getting worse. Titan implant took most of it out. Getting better and better with time. Almost straight now after about 3 months. Still some pain though. Inflate about 30 to 45 minutes at night most days. Miss some days occasionally though. Happy as a tick on a farm dog and so is my wife.

Had some interesting times around week 3. Pump moved on me and I was inflated for several days. Painfull is not the word. Had to visit doc to tell me deflate button was now facing out. I literally had been pressing the side of pump so hard pump was flexing. I had keychain to so it is a learning process. Now press button squeeze and get about 4.30 hang. No worries now.

Had some gurgling when titan decided to start fullydeflating.  Worried me for sure.

Never ever thought I made the wrong decision. Patience. Patience, and more patience.

Wish you best. Try not to fret to bad. It gets better.

Thanks SW01. Just inflated again there and lasted for 20 minutes before I had to bail out. Far too painful. I'll just keep going - at least twice a day every day if I can. Once again tho, deflating is no bother for me and inflating is ok - just the actual pain once inflated is my issue.

Roddy, I suggest when you post with an update that you put a header on your post that says  _____ Days Post-Op.  That way we can keep up with where you are in recovery without doing the math.

I just looked back over my journal to refresh my mind and at your stage, I could only go 30 minutes at a time.  Keep in mind that was laying flat IN A TUB OF HOT WATER.  I could have never done that out of the tub.  As it was I watched the clock for a countdown to hitting the release button.  Every second made a difference at that point.  It was however more burning in the scrotum and pressure in the penis rather than sharp pain.  I would interrupt the pain signal by dribbling hot water on my penis or dragging a washcloth across my penis to distract me enough to squeeze out another minute or two. 

So, at your stage post-op I could stand several minutes of slowly pumping up in hot water.  When I finally got it pumped up I could go a maximum of 30 minutes.  Near the end, I would try to force in another couple pumps right before I deflated.

Soon you should notice it getting less uncomfortable, maybe not daily improvement but clearly weekly improvement.

Post Op Day 13

Considerable progress this afternoon. I had a not-too-good sleep last night as the pump seemed to be lying touching my right testicle and it kept waking me up - not so much painful but more nippy. Had 2 Tramadol about 11 am to try and shift the nip. About 1.30 pm I ran a hot bath ready to go through the usual hell. Being very mindful of Hawk's post, above, I decided I would pump up then get into a bath and see how many songs I could stay inflated for. Great simple advice, Hawk, and once again I thank you for your wisdom.

I managed to pump to about 70% and was alarmed/confused/delighted by the lack of the usual excruciating pain that comes as soon as my penis starts to go hard. I stepped into the bath and as usual the heat was immediately comforting. So, eh, here's the thing. I realised pretty early on that the excruciating pain was not there! Wow! Why? How good! All these emotions and then remembering "take all the advice from the guys, Roddy, this is a major step forward but don't get carried away. A light at the end of the tunnel nonetheless."

I decided to leave it like that for 15 minutes - pain free in the bath keeping my body and penis under water. I had to fight the urge to get out and pump up some more. Ultimately, the urge won and I got out to pump more. To be honest, it was really difficult to pump any more and the ball (not my ball) had no give in it. I think I got another 2 or 3 pumps. Then came the pain. That horrific, mind bending pain. Fine I said. I asked for it. Bring it on for as long as I can take more. I lasted for 24 minutes in total from first pain-free pump to deflation.

Sure the last 4 minutes were horrible but prior to that it was the most bearable yet. I hope that was a turning point in my recovery. Tomorrow will tell - or tonight if I have the courage to go again.

The responses I am receiving from you guys are an unbelievable support and reading all your own journals and experiences is inspirational. Lots of truly resilient men on this forum. And Hawk? Where do I start with Hawk. I have noticed that not only has he repeatedly replied to me and given me sound advice (as have you others and you know who you are and I really thank you) but I notice reading other men's journals that Hawk has repeatedly time after time responded to and reached out to SO many sufferers. You should be canonised, sir. A legend.

So anyways, day 13 has brought me some much needed good news. Onwards ...

Cheers,

Roddy

This was very very nice to read! Hopefully a turning point like you said.  8)

Post Op Day 13 - update

It's currently just before midnight on Sunday and I decided at 10.15 tonight to inflate again and see how sore it would be. No hot bath but I was confident after today that if I didn't max out the inflation I could hopefully cope.  I've been sitting with 80% erection watching the US Open with nothing more than an uncomfortable pain. The totally excruciating agony of Thursday, Friday and Saturday appears to be behind me. What wonderful progress in one day. Anyone reading this in future, and suffering, needs to hear about how quickly my intolerable agony has turned to just pain - manageable pain.

Bring on tomorrow.

Post Op Day 14

Hi everyone. Officially 2 weeks since my surgery and now making great progress. I woke up this morning a bit tender down below but probably due to cycling I'd think. I have the house to myself so thought I would inflate and see if yesterday's good progress continued. I inflated at 9.10 am without having a hot bath. It was quite sore and I could really feel the tissue getting stretched out. It's 11.10 am just now and I have been inflated now for 2 hours. I don't see any reason to deflate as it's not sore. I have definitely turned a corner now - out of nowhere. So many of you guys were correct that it takes patience and perseverance.

I have been worried about my curve but that too I can tell is a matter of prolonged inflation over weeks/months like Mr Fraser pointed out. As things stand, this penis right now is 100% better than the mess I had pre-surgery. It was indented to the left and then a full turn down the way. As things stand, I'd be happy if it stayed as it is now but I'm led to believe it will get better still over the longer term. A lot to go through but early signs after only 2 weeks are very encouraging.

Great news Roddy.  I appreciate the kind words.  It gave me a mixture of humility, a little amusement at your enthusiastic endorsement, and some gratitude that I had actual evidence that I had helped an actual human being I have never met rather than just spending time typing words on an impersonal computer screen.  Thank you.

I am sooooooooo glad to hear about your improvement.  Pain is a strange thing.  Studies have shown that the degree of pain we feel is associated (to some degree at least) with what we interpret the pain to mean.  If we think the pain indicates a serious problem it feels more intense than the same level of pain that we think is just a temporary occurrence with little significance.  It seems clear now that you are on the mend.  Your pain means your penis is improving, getting larger, getting straighter, becoming able to have sex on demand in any position for as long as you or your partner desire.

I am puzzled by one thing.  You pumped up before you got in the tub and got out to finish pumping up.  Why???   Especially those last pumps to top off should have been in the tub because not only does the heat relax the scrotum, but it increases healing blood flow to the penis and helps mold the scar tissue.  I am not sure I went into this with you but it does one more very important thing.  IT BLOCKS PAIN SIGNALS.

I have never heard anyone else explain this and I have discussed it with a couple of doctors that are personal friends, but this is my experience.  I have used HOT water to block pain for three conditions with significant success, herniated disc, kidney stone attack that lasted a month, and implant cycling.  The first two were so painful it was almost enough to cause insanity.  (Some say that it did) :)   I learned that if I gradually made the water as hot as I could stand it, that it stopped the pain while I was in the water.  It gave me no residual effect.  As soon as I stood up the pain would return.  I theorize that the nerves have trouble carrying heat sensation and pain sensations at the same time.  It might be more accurate to say that the brain has trouble interpreting the pain signals.  At any rate, it works.  It is very important however that the water has to be so hot that you could never step into it.  The contrast is too great.  You have to get into a hot bath and then make it gradually hotter by letting just the hot water to slowly run into the tub as you occasionally stir the water around.  I would get it so hot that I would always take A LOT of ice water with me to drink.  I would even pour it over my head so I would not generally overheat my body.

I know this sounds extreme but it gave me relief when my daily intake of maximum opiate drugs would not.  With the kidney stones and herniated disc, the problem was that I had to eventually get out of the water before I died.  With a new implant, you just deflate then get out.

If the serious pain is only toward the end of your inflation cycle, then you can get in half-way through the cycle but do not get out before you deflate. As I improved I used to pump up in the bathroom, shave, etc.  Then, as the pain started to build I would get in a hot shower.  The hot water droplets hitting my erect penis almost immediately eased the pain for the last 15 minutes.  A hand-held shower attachment works great for that.

Day 14 - Update

Thanks, Hawk. I absolutely agree that the hot water in the bath reduces pain significantly. No argument from me there.  The reason for pumping outside the bath water is that I watched a video of some guy going through his inflation technique (cannot remember where I saw it) and he looked as though he was pulling the pump down to the very bottom of his sack - not violently or to the endangerment of damage to the pump - and at the very bottom of his sack he seemed more able to inflate. I tried to copy his technique and found it more successful than when lying in the bath. I've adopted this method standing up now and find it works for me best. I think standing maybe isolates the pump better with help from gravity. Then I got back in the water. Same kind of pattern for me with deflation too. I find lying on my back with me taking my time to locate that little circular depress button works best. Again, gravity from me lying on my back and my man pointing up seems to work best and helps the solution flow back to the reservoir easier.

On that topic, I'm very aware of the importance of fully deflating and work hard at it but my penis stays kinda hard - like what an imperfect erection might have felt like before I became bionic. I've read on here that that's common at the start as the penis tissue is quite swollen still. Any thoughts? My penis is flaccid enough to point down enough to get track suit trousers/jogging trousers on (unfortunately my clothing of necessity just now).

And while I'm on this subject, I've read a lot from you guys about pointing your flaccid penis up the way under your trousers. I'm afraid that is not at all possible for me. My penis will not move in an upward direction at all - it's like it's rooted to my groin bone. Same has to be said for movement left and right - no real movement at all. Even when deflated. What I would say tho is that my penis has spent its entire life hanging down the way when flaccid and it appears to just want to continue to be kept that way. Don't get me wrong, when inflated it points out the way and not downward so I'm not worried about that. What it also means is that I will never have an upwardly pointing penis. This is a non issue for me as all I desire is a straight one compared to what was before.  Know what I mean?

By the way, I've been inflated for 4 hours now. I'm going to deflate and go for my first long (ish) walk in the country.

Thanks,

Roddy.

It is normal at this stage with a Titan that you do not point down more than about 4 O'clock (maybe higher when deflated).    You are likely to find however that as your deflated angle drops so will your inflated angle.  You want to preserve this so you do not end up with a downward pointing erection.  Such an erection is certainly usable but most men, given the option, would prefer an upward pointing or at least a straight out erection.

To preserve this you should not put downward pressure on the penis where the cylinders exit the body.  If you go slightly past this point and bend the cylinders that is preferred since it does not put stretching pressure on the internal part of the cylinders that are supported by the scar capsule.  Part of the internal cylinders are not inflatable but solid.  If you expand the capsul it is like making a posthole too large to firmly hold a post.

Ok, thanks, Hawk. I've taken 3 photos to make it easier to discuss this. The first 2 you will see my angle when flaccid. It seems about 5 o'clock from what I can see. The 3rd one is me gently pulling my penis up the way. It will not move beyond that position. What do you think I should do?

Roddy,

Now I am confused.
I can't imagine being pumped up for 4 hours! I mean I can make 45 minutes now, but that's tough and I am almost at 7 weeks.
Are you being to aggressive?
What did your doctor say?

Without going back through all your notes, was you penis pointing up or down, prior to surgery?
That being said, my penis angle when soft is now at about 3pm when naked.

I position my penis up against my stomach most the time, I have found several kinds of underwear to help me with this, but sometimes it will move and fall down so it is about 3pm, but pinned against my belly. This can be painful, so I will have to rearrange my stuff.
Sometimes I will walk nude around the house and swim in the pool, this is the most comfortable.

When I am not pumped I wear my penis upwards. Do you do this? This is what my doctor told me to do.
When I am pumped, my penis is pointing up at about 10pm. When you are pumped, what position is your penis in?

stepone

Hi StepOne.

Remember that I was left fully inflated for 9 days after surgery and during that time I simply lay around the house with massively oversized trousers trying to hide the fact I had a fully inflated erection. I never experienced any pain from being left inflated until I was deflated on day 9 and later that same night inflated again to begin cycling. It was then that I experienced the worst pain of my life - unbelievably horrific pain, as I inflated and my penis stretched. That was Wednesday Day 9 and the pain was horrible and intense through Days 10-12. Yesterday (Day 13) was the turning point and the pain from inflation was a tiny fraction of what it was. Then today it was hardly there and I was inflated for 4 hours. Perhaps the inflation from Day 0 to Day 9 has something to do with that?

On the other issue, I suspect I am biologically 'made' differently. I know what you mean when you say your penis can be flattened against your belly. It is the OPPOSITE for me and must be because I had a congenital curvature down the way. I can (and always have been able to) put pressure on my penis to angle down the way in the same easy way you pull up the way. I cannot pull my penis towards my belly button. Engineered differently. I will take Mr Fraser's advice on this one.

Incidentally, I'm feeling a bit of unusual pressure coming from my reservoir in my groin/stomach. Feels how a pulled muscle would feel. Any thoughts on that one guys?

Do not read much into daily differences in sensation.  As you heal you will get little random stabbing pains like a needle stick here and there.  Some days you will get a set back with more pain in your scrotum, penis, or reservoir.  All of that is normal for several weeks.  It just gets slowly better and less frequent.

You look rather straight to me already.  Remember, pain is progress at this point.  It is more accurate to say discomfort is progress.  If you can be pumped up for 4 hours with little discomfort, I would pump it more even if I had to use two hands to squeeze the pump bulb. 

I think your deflated penis looks like a pretty good hang at this stage.  Wear how it is comfortable but if you cannot go straight up from the point it comes out of the body, I recommend the shaft (cylinders) come straight out of your body for a 1/2 inch then bend the shaft/cylinders so it points down (like an upside down J) you do not want to put any downward torq on the part that is inside of the body.

Day 14 - Update

The ironic thing today is that whilst I was inflated for 4 hours this morning, I had little if any pain. In fact, the longer I stayed inflated, the less the pain got. Now, however, my penis is aching and I can't stand up for any length of time without lots of pain in the penis. This is especially bad on the underside from the base to the halfway point. In fact, come to think of it, that'll be where my peyronies plaque and scar tissue will be! Wonder if that's what the pain is? Is it getting repeatedly stretched with every inflation? It feels like it's going to explode! Or is it simply a reaction to having a 4 hour erection - real or prosthetic?!

Roddy

I would bet it is the plaque getting stretched and after deflation reacting to the stretch.... I would take it as a good sign that your are really getting a stretch on the plaque.  It is very similar to what I experience although I do not inflate for as long as you do so any pain after deflation subsides very quickly.

Hey Roddy! You just mentioned that the penis is getting very sore underneath.  Right around the area where you had that awful curvature. Given your last updates and this point in particular, I'd say it's very encouraging to read.

I also want to take the time to say thank you for posting the photos. It is something which is not to be taken lightly, since it's such an intimate part of us. But it does more than a thousand words to encourage others that might be on the brink to try this procedure or are wondering what to do now that they have tried several treatments and they all failed.

Please continue to keep us posted Roddy. I'm happy to be here seeing you beat peyronies for good!

Thank you Pfract - very encouraging. I honestly wish I still had the truly awful pictures I showed my surgeons pre-implant for comparison.

DAY 15 Post Op

After great progress, tonight has set me back a fair bit. I decided to wait and inflate only once today - about one hour ago. I ran a hot bath, remembering Hawk's advice, and pumped up. Given that I managed 4 hours yesterday I thought I'd go for more inflation tonight. Firstly, I just can't for the life of me imagine a day when pumping that ball up would be deemed to be second nature. It is SO stiff and difficult to squeeze and I'm waiting at all times for that inevitable slip of the hand when the pump flies into my ball! Anyway, I managed to pump up a bit more than normal. Again the greatly reduced curve is positive to look at in the mirror.

Must have been the amount I inflated to but the pain was like it was before - breathtakingly excruciating. Even the hot water did little to reduce the pain. I came out the bath after 10 minutes and lay on my bed. I didn't time myself cos I didn't expect things to be this way but I'd imagine it was 20 mins tops before I had to bail out. Far too extreme.

Ok so after great progress perhaps I over inflated - I'll maybe not do that again for a while but here's the thing. When I tried to deflate, which until now hasn't given me a problem, I couldn't  find the little round pressing dimple. I seemed to be very swollen all of a sudden. Worse still, as I was feeling around, I kept touching rogue nerves and I'd get a shooting pain in different parts of my genitals - even in the glans. What was that all about?

I did manage to deflate tho and will leave things for 24 hours I think.

7 weeks here from implant
my two cents is that the 4 hours overdid things

Hawk suggested once I got out of the bathtub routine, he suggested pumping it when I first get up. Start the coffee, read, make some breakfast, do something that takes your mind off of the time.
If the hot water doesn't work, try pumping out, each individual has different bodies that heal differently.
I have bad days, but they become fewer.

Take your time,

read some other journals and you will see you may be expecting a little too much too soon. Go slow!!!!!

stepone

Yeah - will do, thanks. Your words are common sense.

What Stepone said.

Granted, I was sent home deflated but I could have never taken 4 hours at your point in recovery.

Day 17 Post Op

This is an important update for anyone experiencing post surgery pain. Pumped up at 9 am this morning (Thursday) after 5 minutes in a hot bath. There was absolutely no pain at all and pumping up was the easiest it's been yet. I feel a fool for not having done this every time after everyone's advice about hot baths. I lay in the bath listening to a playlist and it was easy. No discomfort until I decided to have another 3 or 4 pumps and then the pain started. There's definitely a 'safe from pain' level of pumping and a line that I go over that leads to pain. What to do at this stage? What do you think, guys? Be content with a 70% inflation with no pain for a couple of weeks or go to 70% then 80% with pain? I guess the pain is the extra stretch. Is that what my bend needs? Or do I do it in stages of months? I really don't know.

Another little development. My glans has suddenly erupted in red blotches/spots/rash. Don't know what's going on there but it somehow has to be related to what's going on in general? I'm not circumcised and have been cleaning every day. I'll be keeping an eye on that one.

Deflation again much easier in the bath. Softer scrotum tissue makes finding the switch much easier. Was inflated for a total of 50 minutes. That's enough. Finding it difficult to imagine wearing normal clothes again as my flaccid penis is definitely what anyone else would call a semi. In fact it's harder than a semi. Major bulge in my jogging trousers let alone a suit.

Got another concern that's beginning to weigh on my mind. Booked and paid to go to Portugal on July 2nd. Beginning to worry that I'll not make it and preparing my wife and 2 kids for them potentially going without me. Can't see how I can do 3 hours on an aeroplane at this stage. 13 days from now so I'll keep an open mind.

Roddy,
I know it's difficult, but pain can make us not the most appreciative persons.
Sometimes I would be so frustrated with the pain, etc., I would get on this website and ask a ton of questions about what about this and what about that?
It's good to do, but at the same time, it's also good to read over other peoples journals. Hawk pointed this out to me several times, its very beneficial, as a matter of fact, one time while I was in the bathtub soaking, I was reading the printed out journal of the very first journal writer. Sadly, I don't remember his name, but just look on the list of people that have written journals and locate it.
Reading his journal then Hawks from start to finish took more than one sitting, it took several days, but it gave me an important amount of information.
Try this out and really study their journals, I found it to be comforting.
Now for the question about pain, only you know what is tolerable. Many have said pump as much as you can for as long as you can, but don't do any of those 4 hour marathons again. You are the only one that has ever said they did that. Pace yourself knowing your body, but stick to a time limit, my doctor told me 30 minutes twice a day. If you can do eventually without much pain, you are making progress
Glans rash? Not sure, I am cut/circumcised. But I do have some bumps on my head. Not sure what that means, sometimes they are there, sometimes not. I used to get a irritated glans sometimes from too much sex.  So here is my question, are you masturbating? My doctor was very clear, no sex, not even "jerking off" was allowed until he gave me the go ahead. That occured at about a month, but I still waited a few days to have sex with the spouse.
Trip questions. Hmm, that's a tough one, was this trip a vacation or business?
I hope you have been experimenting with underwear to help you secure your "cock" and "balls". This was and is still a challenge for me. My balls were very sensitive particularly around the ball sac near the stitches and pulling. The dog ears hurt too. So it was difficult to find the right pair of briefs that held things in place without too much pressure on the sac.
Sometimes I would wear baggy pants if I could and a shirt over my pants(not tucked in). I could do this most the time, but sometimes I had to wear a shirt tucked in and a tie. These times were more difficult, so I would wear a big jock to allow my balls to hang somewhat, but the jock kept my cock from flopping all over the place. I would also take Tylenol every 4-6 hours as need to help me with the pain.
and another two cents of mine says....
If this is a trip that your wife and kids were planning on, I think having them with you, will help you keep your mind off of your trip and your dick. I would definitely take them with you and hopefully you all will have a more enjoyable time.
I had a urologist tell me one time,
men are men.
We discover our dicks when we are young and we fall in love with them.
They are always there for us.
They are with us when we are single, married, in a relationship, divorced, and perhaps married again.
But our dicks are always with us, through good and bad times. They are our best friend.
Sometimes our dicks get us into trouble.
But our dicks change and so should our love of our dicks.
He told me, plain and simple, you now have a new dick, it's different, you need to learn to love it, but don't give up on the other most important thing of all, and that is love for others.
Hope this helps.

It certainly does help, StepOne. Thanks for the reply. Yeah, in terms of other journals I've been reading them thoroughly. Is the one you're referring to Merrix's Journal? All 80,000 words of it. I've found a lot of similarities. All the journals are great and there are golden nuggets of advice and do's and don't's in them all. The 2 x 30 mins each day is definitely my plan moving forward. Like I said before, the 4 hours inflated was only because I had the house to mself and I wasn't experiencing any discomfort so just watched TV.

In answer to your question, no I haven't masturbated or had any kind of sexual thoughts at all - far too early for that. My surgeon told me nothing until week 4 and until I've had the official green light from him at my next consultation.

Today is my most comfortable yet. This is largely due to me getting a healthy and positive 'telling off' from my friend (the Pancreatic surgeon) yesterday. He said that I've been in continual pain  (when deflated) because I have not been managing my pain with medication the way I was told to. He said that if I can mask the pain for the next couple of weeks or so then the natural healing process will work away and if I take painkillers the way I'm supposed to then things would be so much better for me. 8 am 2 x 50mg Tramadol then very 4 hours after that. In between, at 10 am and the. Every 4 hours from that I took 2 x paracetamol (Tylenol in USA/Canada). If I do this throughout the day, every day, I'll feel much better. Call me a fool but I just didn't like taking that amount of drugs so really held off, hence the pain. I now see the error of my ways seeing as today I've been up and about more than any other day, with no pain. All masked by the drugs of course.

A real light at the end of the tunnel I think.

   Roddy, I just finished reading your journal with all the comments from members here. It is encouraging to know all these people have your best interest at heart. Wow is all I can say. I'm glad that all of this is coming around for you and you are doing better. Pain meds are amazing. I know from experience. I don't like them but they are a coping mechanism as well as promote healing. I tend to quit taking them as soon as possible.
    Thanks for replying to my posts. I wish you well.

Day 17. - update

I texted Mr Fraser this afternoon and gave him a brief update on how I was doing. I told him I was making good, slow but steady progress. I told him I was cycling for 30 mins morning and night and about how the pain is perfectly manageable at 70% but really, really sore above that level. I asked him how he thinks I should progress. He suggested that once a day is fine but would like me to inflate for 80% for 30 mins then 90-100% for another 30 mins (1 hour in total). He said it would be very difficult but that I would benefit from this in the long run. I am seeing him on July 24th and that may well be my 'date' for trying out my new toy.

I just had another bath there at 10 pm for 30 mins and had no pain at 70% for about 15 mins then I increased the pump to maybe 85% for about 10-15 minutes. I must say it was not as sore as I expected it to be. What amazed me more than anything is the changing shape of my new penis. I honestly don't recognise it as my own. I can't stop looking at it. I have a straight penis for the first time in my life. It dawned on me that I don't think I've taken it in yet through all the pain and suffering. When I called my wife to look at it I could read her mind as to what she was thinking. I'll keep those thoughts private.

Once again, I have to state the effect of staying ahead of the pain and I realise how foolish I was to suffer that constant level of pain upon coming out of hospital and probably for the last 10 days. Please if you're reading this journal, take the meds. Learn how to rotate them so that the pain never really comes. It is there but it's just that I cannot feel it.

Cheers,

Roddy

Roddy,  You do write a very interesting journal. ;)

I asked you specifically about pain killers sometime back.  I should have emphasized then the need to stay AHEAD of pain.

Pumping as much as you can for shorter periods is far better IMHO than 70% or 80% for longer periods.  The scar capsule is forming and will respond faster now than once it is formed.

Your rash could be from the very strong antibiotic washes used prior to surgery.  Most men actually experience painlessly peeling of skin on their penis a week or two after surgery.

My guess is that you can do this trip.  You will improve every couple of days.  The only downside will be finding time to cycle regularly and privately.  Pain-wise I think you will be good enough that with the distraction you will go right through it.  Walk every day.  You are to the point that you might be able to actually walk a mile or two with little trouble in the proper pants and underwear.

Thank you, Hawk. I'll take that as a compliment- I think? 😁

I made one typo in my previous post that I corrected. It now says  LONGER PERIODS as it should.

Yeah I'll be sure to follow that advice now. Shorter bursts of higher level of inflation.  I now need to get out for walks and increase my time on my feet. It's the only way to start to get my normal life back. I'll listen to what my body is telling me. Cheers.

Day 18 Post-Op

Not much to report today and I wasn't going to bother except I think it may be useful to report good days as well as bad. Today is another good day. Owing to my strict painkiller regime now I feel no pain at all. It is there, for sure, just that it's completely masked by drugs. My surgeon friend said that effective pain control was both poorly explained by medical staff and poorly understood by patients. So true.

I inflated more than normal in the bath this morning like Mr Fraser wanted me to. I left the hot water in the bath after inflated (lay there for 20 minutes) before drying myself off - still erect - and watched TV for the rest of my 'prescribed hour'. I was clock watching from 50 minutes to 60 minutes due to the pain. Nothing too bad tho. I went back upstairs, added more hot water to what was still warm water, got back in and waited 5 minutes until my scrotum relaxed before deflating. Much, much easier in a warm bath as by balls and sack are relaxed.

Reading Merrix's journal, I notice a major difference. Where he talked a lot about how difficult it was to pump up the inflation (mentions 40 squeezes) I seem to be able to get good press on my pump. Out of interest, I've been counting and on average I have about 16/17 pumps till totally inflated. Good, full, squeezes. So that's a bit of a difference. Don't know if my pump is just a better pump?

That's me done for today. Feel like I could inflate again tonight but I'm not sure I need to.

Cheers,

Roddy.

Roddy, your signature line does not mention the size of your Titan implant.  That has some impact on the number of pumps.

I'm actually embarrassed to say I've no idea,Hawk. We never discussed that at any time prior to or after surgery. Maybe it's tiny and that's the reason for only 17 pumps. 😁

Your doctor should have given you a card or paper with the size, model number, and the serial number, of the device and pump.  The device has a lifetime warranty.

From 100% steam roller flat I can only get 18 wall-to-wall pumps.  I can then get about 5 two-handed partial pumps on my 22 cm Titan.

The guesses are up at this time! What do you guys think? 22/24cm? Make your bets gents!

I am guessing 20 cm with one RTE based solely on his posted pre-op measurement of 5.5 inches.  That, of course, is just a wild guess and I would not be surprised by a 20cm w/o RTE's or a 22cm.

Roddy, I would email my surgeon and ask for the surgical notes from my surgery as many of us have.  I had mine emailed to me within an hour of asking.  They should make some interesting reading.

I went online to my hospital website and accessed my profile and surgeon notes. The notes contained all the Titan implant size, etc.

Interesting. I'll contact the hospital on Monday and see what they say. I should have said earlier but there has definitely been some settling down (for the better) size wise and although not obsessed by size, my length when inflated is 6 inches exactly. That's with a really soft glans (Head) and will undoubtedly be bigger once that engorges with blood. Like I've said before, the fact that I now have a functioning penis far outweighs any loss of length. What use was a bigger package that could never be used for anything other than peeing. I'm happy at 6 inches. And by the way, for anyone who doesn't have one of these bionic willies, it's 6 inches and rock hard. Never been hard as this in my life - I would argue that no natural erection could ever get you as hard as this erection. The guys that have been implanted will know exactly what I mean.

Day 19 Post Op

Just shy of 3 weeks since surgery. Went for a mile walk today and felt good. I've not had any pain today at all but I know that's the drugs. Still it feels great not to have the pain from before. I waited until this evening to inflate and followed Mr Fraser's request to inflate for 1 hour at almost full inflation. It is nippy tonight rather than all out burning pain. I didn't bother with a bath tonight and managed ok. Deflation is still the trickiest part of the process. When my scrotum compacts into a ball - pardon the pun - it's really difficult to soften everything up to locate the switch.

A non-eventful day with not much to report, which is good.

I also got all my information from dr. And operation notes. 18 cm plus 1 rte along with all serial numbers. Who would have thought that. Changing out my air conditioners at house. The implant and air conditioners both have model numbers and serial numbers. Think that is kind of funny.

I have a solid 6.25 right now when pumped up fully. I was hoping for 20 cm but did not get it. 19 cm gets me the 6.25. Do not think I will do any more though. Fully pumped I have no ache. Time will tell


Still happy for sure.wife to.

Roddy,

There was a point where I found the release valve standing (since I was used to doing it while laying in the tub).  I barely turned loose and immediately re-grabbed it before I lost track of the position, I referenced my exact grip.  I barely turned loose and grabbed and relocated it again.  I did it 2 dozen times in one session using hand position and touch to build muscle memory just like I would to learn a new hand position for a new chord on a guitar.

Try it.  It helps immensely and ended the confusion once and for all.

I love that piece of advice, Hawk. I'll be trying that next time.

Thank you! 👍🏻

Day 21 - Post Op

First update in a couple of days. Continuing to make good progress on the 3 weeks to the day mark. No pain today. This morning when I woke up I made the decision to cut my painkillers by half - just an experiment to see how much pain is still lurking after a week full on every 2 hours. Delighted to say there wasn't really that much pain. I'm not saying I was pain free, just much, much reduced and not that much to speak of. More of a nippiness than anything. I'll try the same again tomorrow and see how we go.

Inflated in the bath tonight, pretty close to fully pumped up I'd say, for 30 mins and then lay on my bed for another 30 so one hour in total. Likewise, not that much pain to speak of and nothing like the crazy pain of weeks one and two. I would say the sorest pain tonight was real nippy pain that felt like it was coming from my uretha if I'm being honest. I managed to deflate no problem and am just about to turn in for the evening.

Seems all is going well here.

Take care,

Roddy

Great progress Roddy.  I may have missed it but do you have a projection of when you can take it on a maiden voyage?

In actuality, as I understand your posts, this will be the first time you have ever been able to have intercourse "normally" in various positions.

I cannot wait for those reports.  Both of you deserve this and I could not be happier for you.

Hi Hawk

I'm supposed to wait until I meet with Mr Fraser before taking it for a test drive. I was initially given an appointment on July 10th but I'm on holiday till the 13th so my new appointment date is July 24th. I'm sure I'll be given the go ahead then. So, unfortunately, that's 4 weeks from now and 7 weeks in total post op. I'll be making sure I follow doctor's orders as I'd hate to have gone through all this for something stupid to go wrong now. But you're correct, I cannot wait for that date.

Day 22 - Post Op

I realised today that I'm not ready to cut down the dosage of the painkillers yet and the great progress I've made over the past 7 days was a result of the good mix of drugs keeping the pain at bay. So I've decided to go back to the same dosage as before for as long as it takes. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't in agony this morning - just quite a bit of discomfort. I think the main discomfort has been, and continues to be, a result of the pump or "my third ball" as I now call it sitting/pressing against my right hand testicle. It's just uncomfortable, plain and simple, and it just shouldn't be there. Still taking a lot of getting used to. When will my right testicle accept it has a new friend and stop telling my brain there's something where it shouldn't be?

I had a terrible sleep last night and this is something I want to share. I don't know what to do with my new 'flaccid' dick. Where to put it? It's far from flaccid as anyone who has been through this will tell you. It's like having a pretty hard semi, except that it feels alien to me when deflated. When I deflate and squeeze out the liquid back to the reservoir, my penis is then all uneven twisted lumps and bumps. Horrible really. Definitely one of the downsides to the Titan that I've read about and couldn't agree more. I find that I can only really sleep on my back. I used to sleep on my side but that has become difficult. My new bigger balls and scrotum seems too big to relax between my legs and gets squeezed between them. This very quickly causes me to move onto my back again.

Another issue for me has been underwear. I have always worn cotton/Lycra tight shorts (you know the typical Calvin Klein ones) that kept the old version of me stable and everything in place. Never really thought much about that before - funny what simple things you take for granted. I cannot wear them now as my 'flaccid' is too hard to sit in such a crammed space. So now I've gone back to what I used to wear when I was growing up - wide, loose fitting boxer shorts. In them I just hang free down the left side against my leg. No support there tho so I think this is contributing to my new 'limp' that I've developed as it just hangs there - a semi.

I had a difficult morning today. I had to visit my doctor's surgery to pick up some paperwork. I parked the car, limped along with my new walk to the doctor's building and when I saw the queue for the elevator, I decided I would take the stairs. By the time I got to the 3rd floor I was quite out of breath and shocked at how weak I had become in only 3 weeks. I now know, 12 hours later, that things just got on top of me this morning. By the time I had got home, wriggled out the car and limped into the house I actually became quite emotional. Started really doubting this whole process, asking myself what I've done, why I've put my body through all this. Was wondering when I'll ever start to feel normal again? When I would ever be fit enough for the gym, to go running, to play golf?

Good day yesterday, bad day today. All part of the healing process, I guess. Mental as well as physical. It has only been 3 weeks since I had my scrotum sliced open, an alien object inserted, 2  cylinders driven through my penis with force and all the swelling and bruising that came along as a result of the trauma my bits were subjected to. It kind of hit me like a train, both the amount that I'd been through over the last 3 weeks, and the progress I have made. Bizarrely, it also struck me as a result of my mental state this morning, how little progress I have made. I know that will sound strange, even silly to some people.

I pumped up before lying back to write up this journal. Funny how the first 30 minutes are pain free and then the next 30 are quite sore. Really quite nippy.

Still, when all is said and done, I now have a straight(er) penis than I have ever had so need to keep on the positive. There will continue to be ups and downs I'm sure as I continue to adapt to this new, different penis of mine. Roll on the 24th of July till I experience whether all this has been worth it.

Cheers,

Roddy.

Hang in there Roddy. I realize that you have other issues that just impotence to deal with and maybe that is causing the pain and discomfort.
I've been luck to have had no issues, but the flaccid, semi-hard dick is HARD to get used to. I use boxer briefs with my CX and it's not bad.

Being 5 months into this process I guess I'm way ahead of you.
My problem is it wants to play every morning, but a 78 year old woman doesn't want to cooperate. Maybe 3 times a week is a good rate?

I'm get worried about the damned prostate now. My PSA numbers always hovered around 3.9.
2 months ago it jumped to 5.2.
Doc wasn't overly concerned, but he ordered another PSA test.

I got the test done last week and went in yesterday for the bad news.
It jumped another .4 or .6 and he recommended a biopsy.
I have it scheduled for Jul 5.

Maybe I should start a thread about this issue, but any suggestions or experiences would be welcome.

I told him I'm too young to die. Hell, I shot 85 today and I'd like to live long enough to shoot my age.

Thomas, not to Hijack Roddy's topic but I have researched Prostate cancer for 2 decades as much as I have Peyronies Disease.  I currently have incurable prostate cancer that was initially diagnosed 15 years ago and it is aggressive Gleason 8 and I had a PSA of 16 at age 54.

If I was in my late 70s I would never let a doctor biopsy me.  If you have prostate cancer (like 70 % of men your age do) it is very unlikely to cause you issues in your lifetime.  If it does in 10 years then take hormone treatment then.  You do not need surgery, radiation or especially hormone treatment that will kill your muscle tone, bone density, and sex drive (and much more).  Enjoy life and tell the doctor to earn his money someplace else.  If you don't believe me talk to OldMan.  We have both been with the American Cancer Society.

I will move this or erase it once I think you read it.

Roddy,
You are in the same emotional and physical place I was at about your stage.
1. It's like you had a new dick installed and it's just not exactly what you thought it would be. I mean sure you knew it would be tough, but you just couldn't imagine how this new dick with all its tubes, pumps, etc. could occupy so much of your time and cause so much pain. An important thing to remember is that being on pain medications can alter your view, and it can depress you and can also be addictive. I used my pain meds as sparingly as I could. I used them, but it was aware that sometimes I could have a little anxiety and/or depression because of them. So ask your self, with everything else going on, do I feel a little different emotionally? Maybe it's the meds.
2. New ball fighting with others. Yes, we all experience that sensation, some are less bothered than others. My experience was I had a big dick during my life, but had small balls, and I never thought about them much. But now, this pump is bigger than my balls and it's bothering them. When I would sit, it was painful. My balls hurt, the stitches hurt. It was constant. But now at 8 weeks, things seem better. The pump still dominates my sack, but everyone in there seem to be a little more comfortable. Its not perfect, but I do have a bigger ball sack now, lol.
3. Sleeping was different, sometimes not very good at all. I started sleeping on my back, but my ball sack would be hot and uncomfortable. I sometimes took "gabapentin" which seemed to help me sleep better. I also had to sleep with my legs spread to give "the guys" room to breathe. But it was not easy.
4. Underwear was impossible. Sometimes I would just wear loose shorts and let my dick push straight out or squeeze it up in my waist band of my shorts. It seemed like the main problem was the pump and balls. Sometime I would wear an extra large jock strap which kept my dick in place, but was big enough to hold my sack, yet not too tight. I probably bought 10 new pairs of jocks, briefs, etc. I was always trying to find something I could wear that wouldn't hurt past 3 or 4 hours. I was at a meeting one day and couldn't wait to get home and get naked so it would hurt less. I found that underwear that was very smooth and very stretchy seemed to be the best. But everyday was a challenge. The task of finding the right underwear that hurts less was and still is a challenge, but things are better. Experiment, experiment, experiment.
5. The new penis feeling. YeS it's a little creepy. How it feels, lumps, cylinders, tubes, it's all foreign. You just have to accept the new you and try as hard as you can...say to yourself, this will get better. I can do this. It is a difficult journey, but try to accept the new you. Keep in mind the end mission which is to use your new tool to bring you and your spouse some amazing fun. It will happen, patience is difficult but important.
6. Your body talks, listen. I have tried to get active. I realized in my first month I had not been to the gym once. I was loosing my strength and my manhood. I started walking a mile, then 2 miles. But the walks gave me think time to focus on me, and sometimes my spouse would join me and we would talk about our feelings and other times just talk about nothing, but it was and still is fun.
At the gym I worked on my guns, legs, and some chest, but was careful not to put stress on my junk. I said to myself if I am going to start F^@$!ng soon, I have got to get myself back in shape. It's the endgame I was thinking about. A few times through all this, my dick would shift and bulge out a little too much and I would get a few looks, but I "just didn't care".
7. Did I do the right thing with having this new bionic dick? Hell yes! I thought no several times, but now since I am F^@$!ng again and bringing sexual intensity to my marriage again, it's amazing.
On Monday of this week, which is probably our 8th F~@< now, it was an amazing afternoon in our bed. I should have filmed it, as I must say, we both were like wild animals.  But just to be honest, when my doctor first cleared me for sex at 6 weeks, he said something very important to me. "Your dick is ready, but before you do it, make sure your mind is ready". The long drive home gave me lots of time to think. I wasn't ready emotionally for this. I wanted to perform and I wanted it to be good for both of us. So when I got home I shared what he said. I said let's shoot for Tommorow. There was some disappointment, but I felt the pressure was off me. I needed to get myself  psyched up for sex without thinking about all the clinical stuff. I am glad I waited, because the next day was the new beginning to our new sex life. But each time since then, I find a little more about how to use my new equipment.... and like I said, Monday was amazing.
I hope this addresses your concerns, but always feel free to talk about your concerns on this site. There are some "very" supportive people here.
Hugs for all of us
StepOne
Our

Hey Stepone.

That was, quite simply, the best reply I could ever have received. A wonderfully written, honest, straightforward, informative and empathetic piece of advice. Thank you so much. I have read it twice now and will read it a few more times, taking time to make sure I absorb your advice and use it appropriately. You are absolutely bang on when you say there is great support here on this forum. Things would have been immeasurably different had I not found this forum and had the 'balls' to actually take the plunge with my first post. Everyone's reaction and support has been quite inspirational since.

Thank you so much.

Roddy

Hi Tomas1

I just realised that I never responded to your message - really sorry about that.

I'm afraid I have no knowledge of Prostate Cancer other than the assertion that I've heard that if you did an autopsy on most guys in their 70s who have died from whatever cause, most would have Prostate Cancer to some degree and would never have been aware of it. As I said, I've heard this but don't know whether it's true or not. As Hawk said, I don't think you should be worrying about that at your age. You should be happy living life to the full for the next 10 years my friend. 

Brilliant that you still play golf at 80 - that's amazing - and hitting an 85 is great too.

Good luck, sir. I hope the tests and any treatment work out positively for you.

Roddy

Day 24 - Post Op

Continuing to do well folks at this stage. I decided this morning that I think I've made an error in judgement by not pumping twice a day. I have only been pumping up for 30-60 minutes just before I go to bed at night and while I write up my journal. I don't think that's enough. Remember my reason for the implant was really, really severe Peyronies with a downward bend at 90 degrees. To straighten out that bend is gonna take time and regular inflation I think. Certainly Mr Fraser is happy and thinks that in time it will straighten out good and proper.

Here's my thing, tho. When I start to inflate, like I've mentioned previously, I reckon I pump about 18-20 times to max. When I'm done pumping, my erect penis is rock hard but with its original congenital downward curve (quite severe downward curve like a banana). Whilst this has worried me recently, I've always realised, through having been pumping up for 2 weeks now, that SLOWLY over 10 minutes it aches as it stretches out to a very positive almost straight shape. It's utterly remarkable so it is. It honestly takes 10 minutes at snails pace! Can you imagine any time my wife gets horny? "Sorry darling, you're just gonna have to let me pump up and wait 10 minutes till I straighten out". I wonder what will happen long term with this scenario? Anyone else out there with a severe bend and a Titan implant ever experience this phenomenon? I'd be delighted to hear from you if so?

Roddy, I did have a severe bend, but the Nesbit surgery fixed that, the implant has fixed my leakage issue and two dimples from the Nesbit surgery. BUT
So far every time, since the implant, I have sex with the spouse, I have always performed oral and that gives me time to pump things up. And with kissing and oral, it's always more than 10 minutes until i penetrate. Sometimes i even will pump a little while undressing. It's all about relearning your pre-sex moves again, lol.
I remember when I first had sex with a girl. It was awkward at first. I was like ready to go, but thought, wait, I need to go slow.
So this is like starting over again. It's time to think about how you will do it.
Practice your moves and think it out, but still keep in mind, it's also about love.
The afternoon after we were approved to have sex, we started kissing, I was already a little pumped, and as we kissed, I was caressing, while my other hand was awkwardly pumping. I slowly moved my kissing lips down into I was in the sweet spot, and after a little more  time, I was all pumped up.
The rest is history.
In other words, you will work this out, I
Know you will.
Eventually practice and improved flexibility of the Titan will bring it all together.
But of course, i will be curious what other replies you will get.
We are never too old to learn something new about sex.
StepOne

Thanks, again, Stepone. Yes, bring it on - I'm getting a little impatient now. I'll not be risking anything, however, and will wait til I'm given the green light.

Day 27 - Post Op

The last 72 hours have been transformational in my overall recovery.  Thursday I was out and about a lot but on Friday I went into work at 11 am for 2 hours to 'officially return to work' on phased return. All good. I was in work, happy to see everyone and happy to get my life back, so to speak, ahead of going on holiday to Portugal on Tuesday. At 1pm I went out for lunch with 4 others and had a lovely afternoon. All alcohol free - not had a drink for 5 weeks now, not that that's an issue or anything, just haven't wanted a drink while on the meds. Great progress.

My next scheduled appointment to see Mr Fraser was the 10th July but because I'll be on holiday he rearranged it for the next available time which is July 24th - 4 weeks from now.

At this next appointment, on July 10th, his words were that we would "make sure everything was going as planned and, if so, I could go home and start having some nice sex".

3 or 4 days ago, in this journal, I was asked when I had the green light for go. I explained that I would be patiently waiting for my surgeon to give me the go-ahead and wouldn't do anything stupid in the meantime that would jeopardise all of my progress.

Friday night was Day 25 Post Op and at 11 pm I was lying on my bed inflated good and full like I'm supposed to do twice a day. My wife came into the bedroom and I asked her to "feel how hard this is". When she did, I got an overwhelming feeling. Before I knew it, I was very gently inside her, not deep, and only experimental to see what it would feel like for both but "definitely being sensible and NOT having sex". When it was clear that I was enjoying it and she was too, I kept going but VERY gently and with no jerks or thrusts or anything like that. There was no pain or discomfort and I was ultra careful. I came (5 weeks worth - never produced anything like that volume before!!). We finished off and I could not believe what had just happened! Talk about contradicting myself? What the hell had I done? What was I thinking? I shouldn't be doing that!!!!

Couldn't sleep. Was tossing and turning. I got on this forum and private messaged Hawk and basically gave him the same info as I'm giving you and asked him what the hell have I done? What should I do now I was asking? I was really confused and worried. First time I've ever really lost control of my senses like that. Asked him what his advice was.

Hawk, in a nutshell, pointed out that I had no risk of bacterial infection, no external incision or wound, no internal stitches etc and basically that if I was a gentle as I pointed out, there was no reason to worry. He said that in cases where good progress has been made, that Dr Eid gives his patients the go-ahead at day 21 so I've no reason to worry.

This was very reassuring and allowed my mind to settle. Once again, the recipient of Hawk's wisdom and advice. Thank you, Hawk.

Also, Hawk, thanks for your last private message with suggestions of how I should approach a conversation with my surgeon on the way forward. I never got back to you last night, sorry. What I did do was that I contacted my Pancreatic Surgeon friend for his medical advice prior to contacting Mr Fraser. He said:

"My thoughts, as a pancreatic surgeon:

1. Brilliant - well done - bodes very well for the future since that was the main aim of the nightmare you've been through over the years.

2. Medicine, and surgery in particular, is the art of the probability i.e. we give advice based on what we think is right ("no sex until review on July 10") but without the benefit of a crystal ball. It's not like July 9 is an absolute no-no but 24 hours later it's green light time.

3. If you're still feeling good with no problems then I think the chances of you having done any harm/injury are negligible. I'm sensing that's your biggest worry ?

4. That being said my advice, for what it's worth, is to wait until Mr Fraser sees you and confirms OK to go ahead. Hawk and others will know much more than me and I'm sure they're right.

5. Here, however, is the bottom line: if you DON'T have sex before July 10 and you get a suboptimal outcome then that's life. If you DO have sex again before July 10 and there's an issue, you will never know if you contributed to it.

So, I'd be pretty chuffed and relaxed about it all and hugely reassured, but I'd sit tight until review. Best of all worlds ?

Only my non-specialist two cents."

So I've been very lucky to have the input of both Hawk and my friend.

Oh by the way, guys, I'm aware you'll be awaiting details of the deed itself. 😁 It really started with me holding it against my wife to see how it felt - really only intending to tease both her and myself. She ended up turning over and I slid it in a little bit at a time until I was maybe two thirds of the way in and just gently 'made love'. The inverted commas are a result of me not really making love at all - being excited but equally petrified and also knowing I was 'doing a bad thing' against my doctor's orders. Not like me to be so rebellious!! I'm normally so damn safe and boring! LOL. Anyway, I came, and I never even enjoyed it - after 5 weeks like I said cos I was so nervous about what I was doing. She said I felt the same as I did when I was younger and that I felt completely normal to her. I never dwelled on asking about loss of length as I'm fully aware that whilst I was and inch and a half longer pre-peyronies and excision/grafting, I was never one with any great girth. And whilst I'm shorter now, I'm amazed at how much girth I've gained.

I never had any pain during or after it all so that definitely reduced any fears I had since I've read a number of you were sore after sex the first few times. Like I said, however, it was very gentle.

I've decided I'm going to take my friend's advice. He's a world leading Professor in his field of Pancreatic Cancer and is exceptionally intelligent. He summed it up perfectly by suggesting that if I continued to have even gentle sex without Mr Fraser's permission, and something went wrong, I'd forever regret it after everything I've been through for the last 4 weeks. And at the end of the day, what's another 4 week wait in the grand scheme of the next 20/30 years?

Cheers, guys.

Roddy out.

Roddy, congratulations and good for you!!!!
My thoughts are similar to Mr. Hawk.
I think I would add that you are so young, your urges just took over and it happened. Like you said, you took it slow and I am glad it went so well. Very happy for you and your spouse.
You seem like such a nice guy, enjoy yourself and try not to overthink too much. But I do enjoy reading your stories!
Stay in touch,
StepOne

Thanks very much, Stepone. Sorry my ending line of 'Roddy out' wasn't meant to imply I'm done reporting on my ups and downs. Much more to come from me as very day or so seems to bring a new experience and if my reporting on it can help someone else in future, by knowing some guy Roddy experienced the same as him, and it all came good in the end (hopefully), then that's the reason to continue. As I alluded to in a message to Hawk, information on Peyronies and implant surgery is so rare that this forum and all the info and advice from guys like you and everyone else is priceless. I would have been completely in the dark without this forum.

Roddy (not out)

Hey Roddy! I have been reading your diary but I have let the implanted guys do more of the talking. This last post of yours was very nice to read. Glad to see you are making progress on a consistent basis like this. I read you are going to Portugal on vacation... I hope you enjoy the stay in my country. A very well known destination for British folks, especially for the Algarve beaches as I am sure you know.   8)

Hi Pfract. Yes, Olhão is where I'm heading. First visit to Portugal for me. I'm really, really looking forward to the rest and recuperation in the sun, by the pool or on the beach, some good food and wine. Just what the doctor ordered, I hope. I'll keep you posted as to how I get on.

Day 28 - Post op

Unfortunately I've been in quite a bit of pain and discomfort today and have had to up my painkillers. I suspect I have been doing too much. Whilst I felt on Thursday-Saturday I had turned a big corner with my progress, I think I've been taking things too fast and have been out and about too much over the weekend. Today I went with my wife and daughter to a large shopping mall and walked too much.

My pain has been twofold. Stabbing sharp pains in my balls which are quite severe and last for about 2 seconds. They are sore but what is worse is the constant dull nagging from my scrotum. This 'third ball' is still causing havoc in there with the other two. I thought that ache would have cleared up a bit by now.

Without turning this into a moan-fest, there is another issue. My pump deflation button has become almost impossible for me to locate Sunday/Monday. It has moved, and what was reasonably straightforward to find and press, has become somewhat of a puzzle. Hawk had mentioned an exercise of muscle memory in knowing exactly where the switch is but it has definitely moved. Why the hell would it go and do that?

And to make matters worse, I'd swear my dick slowly inflates over time. Not an erection, but rather a semi. This means I have had to find a toilet, go into a cubicle, and go through the great mystery of trying to find the deflate switch inside a hard-packed, tight scrotum which is far from relaxed and far from easy. I've had to give up as no matter how long I waited and gently massaged my skin, I could not find it. Quite worrying and annoying.

One of my bad days today in the pattern of what will be good days and bad days but I'm going on holiday early tomorrow so that'll hopefully be a nice relaxing time.

Cheers, guys.

Roddy

Roddy,
1. Yes, you know you are doing too much. Cut it out.
2. Had the pains too, stabbing and throbbing, it's a part of the process, but too much activity aggravates the healing process. I always knew when I overdid as my nights would be horrible. It would always be the new guy fighting with the other two.
3. I think the semi is a sometimes unwanted feature of the Titan. I don't think I can ever have a normal soft dick again, but that's not why we picked it, did we? We picked the Titan for its outstanding rigidity.
4. By the way, Someone mentioned to me that when I deflate, to press the pump button once to lock the deflate/inflate in place. I also found that as I move around, sometimes my dick will seem like it's inflating, but I found that the cylinders had shifted a little and made it push out a little more.
5. The elusive deflate button. It does seem to move around and with swelling, things can get sketchy, but give it a few days with less fighting and I am sure it will relax again. I noticed my biggest change at 60 days, but I still get occasional pains, particularly if I wear my Speedo's too tight and the new guy beats up on my balls. Lol. After sex, sometimes it has been a little difficult to find, but that's because of all the action.
6. Go back and read everyone's comments again and you will discover that you are just pushing the envelope a little too much again.
You will he fine, be patient.
StepOne

The only thing I will add to Stepone's comments is that IF you lock the deflate button open you have two choices from there.
1. Leave it in that mode and if it inflates some, all you have to do, is squeeze your penis (even though your pants) and it will deflate.  There is no need to find the button.
2: Pump the inflation bulb twice to double lock the valve.  That makes inflation less likely BUT if it does inflate then you have to find and depress the button to deflate it.

Thanks, both of you. All a continuous learning curve but I'll troop on with the button. Thanks for the advice, as always.

Day 31 - Post Op

First post for a few days. Travelled to Portugal on Tuesday on holiday and am really relaxed and chilled. I have kept taking my painkillers through the last few days but only half the dosage and particularly seeing as I'm on holiday and want to enjoy some beer and red wine.

I went 40 hours without cycling. Inflated last night before going out for dinner and just lay back with the room door locked and read - very easy when the bedroom has a lock on it. Wish I had one of those back home as it was much safer than having to explain to teenage girls why their dad has a boner and "honestly I wasn't masturbating, honest!". LOL!

To get into town where the restaurants and bars are is a good 7 minutes walk but we've been taking it very slow and easy and I've been finding no real discomfort. So that's good news.

A question I was wanting to ask of you guys was about my penis in it's deflated state. I have a large lump halfway along the right hand outside of my shaft. Sometimes it can sting a little which attracts my attention to it. Mostly it doesn't sting at all. When I press into it it feels like a hollow piece of plastic tubing as it is easily squeezed. I have always assumed this is the outside of my right cylinder? Is this the 'dog ear' that you all refer to?

I cylcled this morning again when I woke up for an hour. Easy with no issues. I took 2 photos I wanted to share with you all so you could see where I'm at but for some bizarre reason every time I tried to attach them it kept reporting an error and telling me the pictures were of the wrong type even tho I've posted phots successfully before from my iPhone. Spent half an hour on it, even downloaded a file converter to make the photo a jpeg but still it would not attach. I gave up. I'll try again tonight and see if it's successful.

I'm heading out for lunch now so will post again tonight with photos hopefully.

Roddy

Roddy,
Good for you, downtime is so important.
Yes it's the dog ears, it stings a little is a perfect way to describe it. Sometimes I will pump once or twice which will prevent the dog ear from hurting. I assume that by filling the chamber just a little which prevents the crinkle(dog ear) from irritating a nerve. The only problem is it adds a little more to my bulge, but I have gotten to the point where I think my comfort is more important than a more noticeable bulge.
I am surprised you went 40 hours without a pump up. I do my first one when I get up early, drink some coffee, read the paper, etc.
Happy for you.
StepOne

Hi Stepone

Just to clarify that the 40 hour gap was purely down to the awkward travel time between the UK and Portugal and styling in, grabbing late dinner, unpacking etc etc. I wouldn't go that long at my stage unless circumstances caused me to.

Roddy

Understood
I am lucky to have my mornings to myself.
No kids either
My dog doesn't mind me walking around with a boner, lol
Enjoy
StepOne

Day 31 - Post Op update

I've just cycled agin tonight and taken a couple of photos for the forum for an update. Again I'm annoyed at me not having pre-op photos to share with you as my 'old penis' was horrendous looking - bent at 90 degrees down the way from mid point to tip. Essentially, my pee hole was pointing straight down at the floor. As you can see from the photos, I still have a downward curve but Mr Fraser has performed miracles on me and I will now have a functional dick and will be able to have pretty normal sex. I had no sexual activity for 18 months prior to this op. Couldn't use it - was very hard and unbendable with a right angle which made it utterly impossible to do anything with. So it IS possible for good, experienced surgeons to perform the impossible.

From the previous operation in May 2018, and the excision of peyronies plaque, I have a sizeable indentation where tissue was removed and a graft put in (that failed) so when I lie on my back my penis, trying to stand nice and tall, bends to the left side with gravity. As long as this doesn't get any worse then it's not a problem that I'm worried about.

Attached are the pictures that I took earlier before lying back to write this journal entry.

Time to deflate and head off to bed as I'm pretty tired tonight.

Take care, everyone.

Roddy

Photos would not upload before. Same error message. Think this will work.

Is this inflated or deflated?

It's inflated. Terrible angle. Having a real problem with the site accepting iPhone pics for some reason. It's much straighter than that angle makes out.

I'm so happy for you Roddy! High hopes that it will straighten out totally with time. That would be gold. Thank you for sharing these Pictures with us. Chiefly needs to see this asap as well as 20oldfords!

Here's a better shot from the mirror.  Remember this was a cliff edge from halfway point before surgery

Another angle. Last one.

Roddy,  that is incredible considering from a 90-degree angle to normal in a matter of weeks.  I know it has not been a walk in the park but that will soon all fade into oblivion.  I am happy for you.

Amaaaazing!  ;D Roddy I can only imagine how happy you will feel when it's time to have intercourse again but this time with a straight penis... or nearly straight. And very hard too. That won't fail on you. Just give this a thought for a while....  8)

I am not sure i understood what you meant about the dent. It bends to the left because there is an indentation there? how is that exactly, by the way? do you notice it filling in more with the implant inflation? I was looking at your pictures trying to spot it but couldn't see the dent

Amazing outcome, beside yourself from the images who would know you have an implant  :)
Happy for you Man  ;)
Paul.

Thanks everyone. Supportive comments as usual on here. Yes, it is remarkable progress in only 5 weeks and if you consider my surgeon said he was confident that it would straighten out even more in time then I am delighted.

Pfract, to be honest I only took the photos from the side. If I post one from above you'll see the indent. Like I said tho I'm not concerned by that and as Hawk said in a post 3 weeks ago, if anything it will add a bit of texture to my dick that my wife may enjoy. 😁

The reason for the photos is to to emphasise the degree of correction that this Titan has employed on my penis. The only comparison I could make without a pre-op photo is to imagine the most bent banana you can think of with a 90 degree bend and imagine that was my dick pointing to the floor. There MUST be others out there maybe reading this who have been told their bend is TOO extreme to correct. Nonsense!! I'm the living proof of that.

Over the last year, I had read in many places over the internet that an implant does not have the ability to correct a bend beyond 45 degrees. I read things like this continually across so many different sites and, unbelievably, and I mean unbelievably, in real scientific medical journal articles. Wish I could find them. Maybe I'll try.

I never found this site until about August 2018. That means I wasted years believing there was no possibility of correction for me. Such a shameful waste of time but at least I'm where I am now. Let this journal be positive proof that a 90 degree bend CAN be fixed with a Coloplast Titan and the experience and skills of a good surgeon with high volume. Thank you Mr Mike Fraser, Glasgow Royal Infirmary.

Roddy

I also put some pictures in my journal showing what can be done with an implant alone. It is really amazing.

Good luck to you. It just gets better. Over past 4 months I have just gotten straighter and longer. I might never get my old 7 inches back but where I am today is better than where I was last year.

Good to know, thanks SW01. 👍🏻

Would have done this years ago had I known how life changing it would be for me. All those years badly deformed.

Day 34 - Post Op

Sunday evening here and I've not reported in for 3 days. Have just been lying taking stock and have to say that the progress I've made over the last week has been very pleasing. Only 10 days ago I was considering not coming to Portugal on holiday as the pain was still really sore, I felt very weak and I couldn't walk far at all without having to limp and  to stop continuously. Isn't the healing that the human body goes through quite amazing. Guess we take it for granted how quickly the body fights back to health. The walking with a limp was gone almost as soon as I got here on Tuesday and I'm definitely getting stronger every day. My wife pointed out to me that she thinks that if the timing of this holiday hadn't been what it was that I'd still be lying on the couch back home, complaining about my pain etc. I completely agree with her on that. I've been busy here but busy in a relaxing way - walking from our apartment along the seafront 3 times a day, going out for drinks and dinner every night (walking) and lots of lying by the pool reading, listening to music and relaxing. The only thing missing is the sex - but that will just have to wait for just now! The point of this is that actually the change of scenery and warm weather has been great for my healing. Hard to imagine the progress without having come here.

As I alluded to there, I'm getting kinda desperate to use this penis of mine. Daily cycling doesn't really help does it?! Lying with a hard on trying to not touch it is difficult and I seem to be thinking about sex a lot now and really just desperate to put my man into action. I've to wait until July 24th, when I meet Mr Fraser, and that's gonna be a tough wait - some serious self discipline to be followed for the next 17 days. This is even more the case when I know I'd be fine, having had a  sneaky session already. Enough of those thoughts tho cos as I've said already, I'd hate if anything went wrong and my surgeon asked me why I didn't follow his orders.

Cycled for an hour this morning and continue to keep to the plan.  Two things continue to be a bind for me. The dull ache underneath my balls/in my scrotum (not during inflation/deflation but during normal time) can be pretty regular and my 'third ball' continues to feel alien to the other 2. The other issue continues to be the cold sweat-inducing deflation process every day. More often than not my scrotum reduces to a tightly packed wrinkled 'sphere' where not only are my balls difficult to feel for but trying to isolate the dreaded deflation button among all the hard-packed tissue continues to be a pain in the arse. I know that 5 minutes in a bath would soften the whole scrotum and make feeling for the button really easy but who has the time for a hot bath? So that's still a bind, as I say.

Overall, I'm doing great and will be back to a pretty much normal life when I return home on July 13th. Intend to get back to the gym for some very light exercise and get back on the golf course. That's pretty much all there is to report from me - no news is good news as they say.

Cheers,

Roddy

Roddy,
Thanks for your update, it's always good to read people's journals to see where we compare to others. I know reading and rereading others journals sure helped me compare my progress with others.
Yes I am right there with your wife,  in you taking the vacation and forcing you to do more. It works to take your mind off your dick, lol.
So I can say at 9 weeks, my penis issues have become less. Just like you, I, and the others before us get to the day, where we eventually don't feel our penis is an alien anymore. I like Hawks description as of our new penis, a bionic penis.
But ....
The ball fights still exist.
The pain long after the inflation still happens.
And yes you are still a guy, so the urges for sex continues.
I found keeping to my inflations and then trying to live out life, took my mind off the penis stuff sometimes. Lol. But it can be difficult.
Just be patient and continue to take things slow and time will race by.
You are doing fine.
Hugs
StepOne

Good report.  And as always, YOUR WIFE IS CORRECT!

I admire your integrity of waiting until the 27th when you know you survived fine several days ago.  All I can do is shake my head and laugh about that. If I said what I really thought I would probably be irresponsible as an administrator.

Hey. Great story. Glad it has all worked out well for you!

Can you confirm what size implant was used and if any RTEs were used? Also, can you say how far into the glans the tips go, 1/2 or 3/4 etc.?

I am in the UK also and looking to go private. Would love to travel to the US, but staying the UK would seriously reduce my stress levels, so I am researching UK surgeons!

You say your friend recommended Mr Ralph and Mr Frazer, who was the 3rd option?

Thanks

Hi Mark

Glad to hear from you. Like I had said earlier, I've been far too relaxed in finding out information regarding size of implant, RTEs etc. I guess this is because I was such a hopeless lost cause (in terms of penile deformity) prior to surgery that I never asked specific questions as I was just desperate for ANY kind of improvement. Because you are specifically asking for this information, and because it may well help you in your whole process, I will definitely make sure I ask these questions when I meet Mike Fraser on July 24th. Can you wait til then? In the meantime, here is a link to his profile:

https://www.menshealthscotland.com/person/michael-fraser/

Are you able to share anything about your condition, Mark, to help me get an understanding of your needs?

Cheers,

Roddy

Hey Roddy, thanks for your reply.

Yeah, I have become mildly obsessed with implant sizing and RTE use! It really is a shame that this surgery is so hit and miss and you have to be so careful to ensure you get a good surgeon.

I don't have peyronies, but rather i've had ED my entire life. I'm 36 now and decided the implant is the way to go. In fact, as soon as I found out what is was I immediately knew it was for me, and I haven't doubted it for a second since that moment. Most people seem to have a hard time accepting this the last option, but for me, I am singing from the trees that this treatment even exits!

I've been using FT for a while and everyone talks about Eid and Kramer in the US as being the only people to guarantee a perfect fit. I made a post asking why on earth did the UK, or even Europe, did not have a urologist comparable to Eid or Kramer. I just felt like this was a bizarre situation that I had to fly all the way over there! Someone seen that post and linked me your story, hence my contacting you.

Your friend has done you a huge favor by not allowing you to go through the NHS to some random surgeon. I have seen two guys very recently on FT with cylinders that are clearly not even reaching the glans leaving the top of the penis "floppy". Honestly, these surgeons should be moved to admin duties for the rest of their careers. No doubt they will continue to operate because, despite both those guys needing to have revisions on the NHS, most people will go home, struggle to penetrate or fully enjoy sex, but be so thankful that they have regained some function that they don't complain - or even be aware that there is anything to complain about.

The implant is my one shot at having a normal sex life. If the head is floppy or the base wobbles from very long RTEs then this one shot will be missed. Being in a long term relationship will make the situation easier for you. As I am single, in order for mine to be a success, I really want to be able to go incognito. That is the dream! 

I would love to know your sizing, but your case of peyronies means it's not really comparable because the surgeon will no doubt have to make decisions about the cylinder size and RTEs use solely to correct the bend. However, I would still really like to know!

Cheers!

Hi Mark

No problem at all - I'll find all this out for you and get back to you on July 24th once I've spoken to Mr Fraser. I'm desperate for that time to pass quickly so I can get on with using this new toy of mine.

Without me knowing officially the answer to the glans/tips question, I'm nice and confident the cylinders are right into the glans. I suspect this because when I'm inflated I've been surprised at how hard my penis is compared to my memories of being even a healthy 20 year old. Like rock hard. And when I get sexual thoughts and urges, my glans fills up with blood as it's supposed to.

Def sounds like its looking good for you then.. people seem to be able to tell pretty early when they've been sized incorrectly.

Yeah, I am sure you can't wait to get going! Haha. Best of luck.

I want to say that if I personally were to get an implant if would very likely only be Eid or Kramer that I would select.  That is not because I believe that no one else does successful implants.  Any doctor that has done a few dozen implants probably has had some successes.  I am sure dozens of doctors have a success record approaching Eid and Kramers record.  The difference is that Dr. Eid and Dr. Krammer are pre-researched with highly public/transparent records objectively reported.   If you happen to know ten people that went to some other surgeon and all ten know what constitutes a good implant (No infection, retained or gained size, good angle, minimal RTE's, minimal recovery and scar, no visible tubing etc) and they all report they got good implants I would risk choosing that surgeon.  The problem is sorting through such data to discover the surgeon's actual failure rate.

I do know that while many surgeons have a low infection rate they often quote industry standards NOT their specific rate.  I know no doctor that has a lower rate than Dr. Eid who developed the no-touch technique for penile implants.  Mark.Well, you are also correct that Dr. Eid does an improper sizing he will correct it without charge.

Hawk, gave you found any doc other than eid that publishes actual infection rates?  Does kramer fir example?

Update Day 39 - Post Op

Just taking some time just now to write up my journal before we head to the airport to fly home from Portugal. I've been here for 10 days and have had a great, relaxing break. Like I've posted in an earlier entry, contrary to my worries 2 weeks ago about pain level and lack of mobility, and whether it was a bad decision to go on holiday, my progress has been superb out here. I cannot help but wonder how far behind where I am now I would have been had I not come here and chosen instead to wallow in self pity at home. This holiday has forced me to walk long distances every day (at a nice relaxed pace), to lie and chill in the sun listening to music and relaxing and I've benefited enormously. I honestly think that I'll be leading a pretty much normal life when I return home over the next few days and weeks. I already have plans to get back to the gym and improve my general fitness and overall strength and to just simply get back to being myself again.

My pain level comes and goes from no pain at all 95% of the day to some pain/discomfort the other 5% in a typical day. I've noticed that mornings are normally the time of day that I have discomfort the most. I think this is a direct result of the cycling I've been doing every morning, ranging from 30 minutes to 1 hour. Like others have said before, I find distracting myself by watching an episode of something on Netflix takes my mind off the discomfort when there is any. It's strange, by the way, that some days I inflate and sit for 45 mins with a full erection and no discomfort and then other mornings I'm counting the minutes to deflation as that session is nippy as hell. No idea why that is or what causes the variation in pain from day to day?

Deflation continues to be a nightmare. Same story as before. My whole sack shrivels to a tight ball and I have to spend 4/5 minutes massaging it between my finger tips to try and soften it before the hunt for the button can even start. Nearly 6 weeks in and I still struggle to feel my way around. One day it's next to my left ball, next day it's not etc etc. When I do press it, it's very easily deflated. I think I've worried over the last few weeks that I'm not deflating properly and not deflating enough as my dick remains quite hard. I now know this is just my 'flaccid' state and it won't go any softer. I've survived this long with it like that and have adjusted to simply always having a semi. If anyone saw it without knowing my history they'd be amazed. "Why's that guy got a big semi like that?". It's  very impressive so it is - even if I say so myself. Looks massive for a flaccid dick but what others wouldn't know is that it doesn't get any bigger when erect, it doesn't grow any more: it just rises for action. Which suits me just fine.

I also now know and accept that I'll probably not wear underwear again. My flaccid dick just hangs down to my left and is more comfortable just left hanging inside my trousers. Same at night too - I now prefer (since my surgery) sleeping with no underwear. All of them I've tried put pressure on my penis and bend it - and having spent my whole life with a bent dick, I'm very happy to leave it straight. Kind of worries me if I'm honest that  I'll damage it by bending it inside my underwear. I also have wondered if my 'hard' flaccid dick - which is straight - is being helped to reshape straight by the pressure of the cylinders, even tho they are not inflated. Night time is when I think about my implant the most, as my penis doesn't really know how to lie on me when I'm in bed. I now sleep on my back for the first time in my life. Lying on either side is difficult as my much larger balls feel awkward and my thighs seem to put pressure on them.

In an earlier post about 2 weeks ago I mentioned that I was worried about how long it takes for my inflated cylinders to stretch out my original bent shape into the new straighter shape. I had told of how it took nearly 10 minutes to very slowly straighten up and how the end result was good and very, very usable but takes too long to get to that shape. I hoped that might correct itself in time and I'm thrilled to report that this week I have seen it stretch out to straight very quickly - so much so that i can see me being able to inflate and have sex immediately. Great news for me.

Sorry that's the taxi here now so I'm going to sign off for now and report back in when I'm home with news to update my journal with.

Cheers

Roddy

4 months here. It gets better. I wear reeboxx boxer briefs. No problems now whatsoever deflated or in my briefs.

Like others say just give it time. Most definitely it gets better. I am pretty content for sure. Deflated the cylinders feel a lot softer and I hang about 4.30.

Just give it time. Make adjustments for another couple months then things get more normal feeling.

It is worth it in the end.

Seems Portugal treated you very well.  8) Soon you are going to be putting it to use.... hang in there man!!! ;D

Roddy, all sounds good to me, I am almost at 3 months and yesterday afternoon was another fun day having sex with the spouse. She is so much more relaxed about it now. Our relationship has improved and sex is so good.
Before I wasn't sure if I would make it through our love making. I had about a 50 percent chance of a good finish for me and her. Now, it's been great. So it was late May when I was approved and at 14 love making sessions, only 1 did not have a mind blowing finish. The one that didn't was my fault as I pumped it so hard, after about 45 minutes, my dick started hurting so much I couldn't cum. I was having so much fun, I held back too long....and then I got those stabbing pains, so I had to stop.
So as I and everyone else has said, it's a learning and waiting process. You will get there, you will have your finish.
I can't imagine hanging my dick down. I alternate between tight briefs to tight boxers to keep my semi from being too obvious. I go commando around the house wearing loose shorts, but my dick is always pointing out.
I am curious, so when you are not pumped, it hangs straight down?
Could you take a pic of that?
I don't see how that could ever happen with me.
I have yet to take a shower at the gym since the surgery, as my semi is a SEMI. Lol
By the way, and this is for Mark. There is no way that sexual partners would not know you don't have something going on with your balls and dick. Unless of course, you don't let them fondle your balls and/or dick.
I mean there is a hard pump device in your ball sack, a tube coming out of your shaft at the pump connection that travels along the base of your penis of your penis that goes to the reservoir, etc.
I perform oral on the spouse, but it's rare she blows me....and I am ok with that. But there is no way you could get a blow job and the person would not know something is different. And this would only be true if you have already pumped up to get rid of any dog ears.
Don't get me wrong, in my view, the Titan was made for screwing, not for looking like a soft penis that magically gets hard. I love my Titan, it gives me the functionality of a 18 year old penis.
Feel free to ask questions.
Oh yeah, one more thing, I had my implant performed by a surgeon that performed 147 implants in 2019. His rating was high on a scale of 1 to 5 in all categories. I stayed overnight and had excellent care. So I agree you want a surgeon that does a lot of implants, but finding out positive outcomes are harder to investigate. If your Doctor is good, he will have a group of patients that will be willing to talk to you.
But most guys do not want to talk about their penis issues or their implants. The guys on this site are the exception and I for one am thankful for all the shares.

Quote from: Stepone on July 13, 2019, 08:44:29 AM
There is no way that sexual partners would not know you don't have something going on with your balls and dick. Unless of course, you don't let them fondle your balls and/or dick.
I mean there is a hard pump device in your ball sack, a tube coming out of your shaft at the pump connection that travels along the base of your penis that goes to the reservoir, etc.
I perform oral on the spouse, but it's rare she blows me....and I am ok with that. But there is no way you could get a blow job and the person would not know something is different. And this would only be true if you have already pumped up to get rid of any dog ears.

I guarantee you I could have sex without anyone knowing I have an implant.  No amount of examination (visually or by touch) of my penis reveals an implant if I am even semi pumped and dressed.  The only way it would be discovered is feeing the right side of my scrotum.  If I were getting a BJ all I would have to do is drop my hand to the base of my penis with my thumb at the top of the base and my fingers draped down over that side of my scrotum to discretely shield it.  It would be easy to make it look like it was just being into the event and participating.  Unless she was insistent on pushing my hand away and devouring my testicles (which would make me a little nervous) she would not know.  My pump feels much like a right testicle until you feel up above near the shaft and feel the intake/deflate section.  I am not slightly inhibited but I am not sure how many women dig around in your ball sack.  I have known men that said a date felt the pump and asked: "what's that".  Their reply was "I had an injury and had a surgical repair, don't worry. You can't hurt me. it feels great.  Don't stop.".  And that was the end of the explanation.

Also, I have NO sign of any tube going from my reservoir to the pump and I am lean.  If I probe deep in some positions I can feel a hint of the tube but no one else would ever find that.

Great post, Stepone. 👍🏻

Amazing to hear your sex life has been so great since being implanted. Hopefully this is also what awaits me in 10 days (not that I'm counting LOL). Lucky you!!

I terms of hanging down the way, I must be 'hinged' differently to the rest of you. End result is that my erect penis will point just lower than 3pm as you can see from the mirror shot I took on a previous post, rather than pointing up the way towards 2 pm or higher. Different hinge. I cannot really bend my penis up the way from the base - it's strongly rooted into my body I feel. The flip side is that I am wearing 501s with my dick just hanging down my left trouser leg. This is the way forward for me. I've always worn tighter trousers/jeans but my dick is very noticeable in them now. I think I'd be arrested if I went out in public with them on. Glad I never ever threw out my traditional original cut Levi 501s - of which I own a few. Anyways, here's my attempt at attaching a photo again for you. This is me flaccid. Not had much luck a couple of weeks ago with the old photo attachment so I hope it works.

Cheers

Roddy

It looks super natural to me Roddy. Except for the way that it sticks out to the front more and then slopes downwards. But nothing to worry about and with time it's something they all say it improves.

Hi Pfract. There are 2 slight turns south as you say. The first turn south is where my natural bend started and is still there but the inflated cylinders now correct that turn. The second one is my soft glans and because I'm in flaccid state, the glans is properly soft whilst the preceding couple of inches are 'flaccid' penis that never really goes soft no matter how much I squeeze it. So that accounts for that turn too. I'm delighted that when inflated it all works well and the bends are corrected.

Day 42 - Post Op

It's exactly 6 weeks ago today that I had my implant. What a journey so far. Been through lots of pain, lots of pain medication and a fair amount of self pity along the way. The first 3 weeks were very tough but then I turned a big corner. I guess for anyone yet to have an implant done, it's very important to know that those 3 weeks are tough but you will get better, much better, around week 3. It honestly doesn't matter how many people tell you to hang in there and it'll get better, when you're in that first 2 week period it really is quite daunting being in that crap storm of pain. It does ease off tho, believe me.

I also went back to work around week 4 for one day before immediately checking back out for a 2 week holiday to Portugal. That was a big psychological boost to return to work, to see all my colleagues after a month and to receive all their good wishes. They have no idea why I was off my work for that length of time other than it was surgery. No one knows about my implant other than my wife, my pancreatic surgeon friend who gave me great support and advice, and my own surgeon, Mr Mike Fraser. I even made the 'mistake' of making love 3 days before week 4 against my surgeon's instructions - so I know it works well. I just wasn't ready for that and immediately regretted that act of passion, regardless of how gentle the whole thing was. I vowed to wait til July 24th til I see Mr Fraser and get the official all clear. Cannot wait for that and am counting the days.

Another major step forward was on Saturday evening (2 days ago) when I managed up to the golf course for 7 holes. I love golf and the personal challenge of it. I'm pretty crap so that's where the challenge comes from. I do realise that it's not everyone's idea of fun and appreciate that it may not be how others would judge progress, swinging what is in effect a stick at a small ball. I love it tho. The first 10 or so swings/hits I was very self conscious and apprehensive about potentially injuring myself or doing my reservoir some damage with the abdominal turn and stretch. Eventually my confidence built up but I didn't go nuts - just swung nice and gentle and only a half swing. Irrelevant of the sporting activity, whichever sport, it was the getting back into the swing (pardon the pun) that was important. I went back up again tonight for 6 holes. I knew when to call it a day and come home so as not to overdo it. Another box ticked.

I must say, however, that golf is a stationary sport - no running - and I have thought a number of times about how I will ever be in such condition that I'll be able to run again. As if this moment, I cannot see myself managing to run. There are constant stabs and jarring jolts of pain every day. Much as I'm up and about leading a pretty much normal life again, there are definitely times when I have to take a 5/10 minute lie down just to take pain/pressure away. It always works and I know that's how I overcome those situations. I always feel better after that rest. That's not doing any great activities or anything but just simple every day life activities. I've always played football (soccer to you guys) which requires agility and lots of sharp twists and turns as well as short, sharp sprints. Ok I'm 47 now, but I still play with friends my own age. I'll not be able to do that for some time, I'd think, indeed if ever again. Who knows? Who knows what 4 months brings? Or 9 months or a year?

I'm still cycling the implant every day for at least 30 minutes. Things are going well in that regard. Pumping up is easy and deflating is still an inconvenience trying to locate the button. I always manage it but just that it's always a hassle.

The pain is very irregular and comes and goes at various times like I've said but I didn't sleep well last night as my penis was very nippy. I held off and held off before reaching for the Tramadol (very strong painkillers) at 4 am. These sent me back to sleep til 8.30 am. The power of drugs. I lay in bed last night thinking about lots of stuff. Things like when will there be no pain? Like no pain at all. I know it's only been 6 weeks so I'm not saying I shouldn't have some pain still but I was thinking more along the lines of "will I always have some residual pain? Is this now just par for the course? Have I changed my body so much that part of the cost for now being able to make love again is to live in pain?" Everyone says the pain goes away but does it actually really go away? I mean, like really fully go away or will there always be those stabs after 12 months or after 24 months etc? I actually have multiple foreign bodies inside me. I was thinking about that last night when I couldn't sleep for the nippy pain. A bionic dick, as Hawk calls it. It really is like The Six Million Dollar Man for anyone old enough to remember how they rebuilt Steve Austin. There is a part of me that's not human, that's not my body. It really is a fantastical thing that I've done. And no one has any clue about it - no one. Not one of my close friends that I see a lot of nor any of my brothers or sisters. No one knows that I squeeze my balls to pump up my dick into a rock hard erection. And then I can potentially screw for hours on end and when I'm done I squeeze another button and it goes back to where it came from. LOL 😂What have I done?

Cheers,

Roddy

Roddy that was an interesting read.  Lots I could relate to, lots that made me get a puzzled grin on my face and a couple of things that need to be put in context.  I too had a TOUGH first week.  Maybe even 3 weeks but the first week caught me off guard.  I guess thought my awesome self would just sail through it but a 4-hour car ride straight out of the recovery room must have taken a toll.  For the record, however, there are some men that never reach for their bottle of pain-killers.

You are making steady progress and someday you will laugh at the thought that you thought you might always have some residual pain.  I was close enough to normal at 3 months that I am not sure I was not totally back to normal.  I only had about a 15-degree curve however so it might take you longer, but make no mistake, it is coming.

Along with that, I can assure you the day is coming when you will go an entire round of golf and not even remember that you have dick.  The best part is that after that round of golf you can go home and score a hole-in-one.

🤣 Nice one, Hawk. Love your play on words!!

..... and yes, I agree that it must be the double whammy for me of having a Congenital curve my entire life, and then the disastrous peyronies that mangled my dick even more than it was, that has caused the severe pain early in the post-operative process. My tissue must have been fighting to go back to the way it had spent 40 odd years and this device was ripping it in the other direction. Bound to be sore but getting much better all the time.

I may have to revisit my journal, but I think I had a pretty easy time of my recover from surgery.
I had no underlying conditions, so that helped.

I think I returned to golf after maybe 3 weeks, but will have to check that.

My only discomfort was where my big fingered doc inserted the reservoir.
It felt like what I'd imagine a hernia would feel like when I overexerted.

I still get an occasional twinge there, but it's no big deal.

Roddy,
Thanks for posting your hang position. It's very natural looking. You have given me an incentive to try to get mine less pumped. I think I have not squeezed enough most times, but I noticed that when it is slightly inflated there is little pain.
Pain is an interesting thing. My urologist that retired said humans don't remember pain, as we do pleasure. You can google it. Interesting read.
But some people don't feel pain with the same intensity that others do. So I thoroughly understand your need for the pain pills.
You have been so free to share what you have gone through.
Thanks again for sharing, your progress is amazing.

Thanks for replying, Hawk, Tomas, and Stepone. Hawk for your enlightenment as always, Tomas for sharing your own memories of how the surgery affected your golf and Stepone for always just sharing your thoughts too in your own personal journey a number of weeks ahead of me in recovery.

Day 45 - Post Op

Happy to report that I continue to make good progress. On Tuesday, Day 43, I managed 12 holes of golf carrying my bag. Today I am just back from my first gym session since my implant. I didn't do any kind of cardio as I just wanted to do some very light weight training. I have been very aware of how much strength I have lost since my operation from just sitting/lying around. My legs have taken a heavy hit and I've had quite a bit of muscle loss over the last 6 weeks. Like a sparrow's 2 legs hanging out of its nest. 😁 Not a worry tho as I'll put that back on in time with proper training. I didn't do any abdominal work or free weights - nothing that would potentially strain my abdomen or balls or any other injury that's probably all in my imagination to be honest. As usual, these everyday things are all small individual psychological hurdles that must be conquered on the road to full recovery.

Talking of everyday life, I continue to be told by my balls and dick when I'm doing too much. I'll get the stabbing pain out of nowhere to remind me to take it easy. When they become more frequent I take a lie down or lie back for 10 minutes and then I'm good again.

Having to wait til 24th July to see my surgeon is doing my head in. And my wife's too. We're both raring to go.

I cycled for 55 minutes last night before bed. The night before for 45 minutes. I measured myself with a ruler from tip to six pack (I wish) and measured myself at 6.30 inches. Very happy with that. Sure I used to be more than an inch longer than that but excision and grafting robbed me of that. If only I'd met Mr Mike Fraser first time round he'd have jumped straight to implant and I'd be a very hard 7.5. Still, can't complain. For the first time in my life I have the straightest dick I'll ever have.

Inflation and erections are straightforward now. No pain. Did I just type that correctly? Yes, indeed, once again for anyone reading thinking of going through the implant or having gone through it recently, the pain of cycling really does just go away - in time. As I'm typing this, my mind goes back to the early days of cycling in the first week and having to do it in a very hot bath to alleviate the searing pain. Then there was the 3rd or 4th day of cycling where the ripping pain was SO horrific that I actually wanted to cry like a child. I didn't, but I really did want to. The implant was tearing and bending my 90 degree turn to straight and in the process there was lots of heavy breathing, cursing and swearing going on.  The guys on here reassured me that it would pass in time and that managing the pain was key. Indeed, it wasn't until really late into week 2 that my good friend (who is a surgeon) told me how poorly patients do at managing pain, and that if taken properly and regularly, I could stay ahead of the pain. And so I did. And whilst I stayed ahead of the pain, on strong painkillers, my body went through the natural healing process and there I was, able to go on holiday for 12 days. I would never have seen that during weeks one and two. So take it in your stride, guys, as much as you can. Use the painkillers as need be, strong ones if need be, cos in the end, as all the guys have said, it all comes good.

Onwards.

Take care all.

Roddy

You are on the way Roddy.  I smile and have a lot of thoughts race through my head about you waiting until the 24th.  Under the circumstances and considering things going well weeks ago for you, you must be one solid chunk of willpower.  It will make it sweeter when it happens I guess.

You are there with your body but from where I am I am not sure your body is telling you you are overdoing it at all with those stabbing pains.  Every surgery I ever had was followed by inexplicable pains as never reconnected.  With implant surgery, I had random stabbing that felt like someone sticking a straight-pin into my penis.  It had nothing to do with over-activity or position. It just happened randomly as part of the healing process.  Maybe you are experiencing something a little different, however.

Day 50 - Post Op

Im delighted to say that my wait to see my surgeon for (hopefully) the all clear is upon me. Tomorrow (24th July) I will meet with Mr Mike Fraser for the green light. I cannot foresee any issues and will hopefully be now starting a very exciting new chapter in what is the rest of my (sex) life.

I continue to make superb progress and since my last post (Day 45) I've been to the gym everyday for a workout. I'm still taking it all very slow and in my stride - no crazy loads or sets and all just with the intention of increasing my strength lost through 4 weeks of postoperative recuperation. I'm trying to put on 4 kg that I lost - mostly all muscle wastage from doing nothing but lying on my back. I'm enjoying getting back into my normal routine.

My 'semi' continues to be quite indiscreet - my 'third leg' as it has become. This implant is gonna cost me a small fortune in new jeans and trousers. Hardly anything fits me now and may have to be binned, as they all show off my third leg. 🤣 I've decided to hang fire on throwing any out tho for maybe 6 months or so in case things change.

The nagging pain coming from my scrotum (my 3rd ball) has eased off a lot over the last 5 days since last posting. In my last couple of posts, I've done a fair bit of reminiscing about the low points of weeks 1-3. I'm now SO far away from that experience I'm delighted to say.

In the run up to seeing Mr Fraser I've been testing my glans out for blood engorgement from arousel. Very happy to report that my glans is nice and firm with good feeling in it. Perfect preparation for getting the green light tomorrow.

I've been thinking about questions I should be asking Mr Fraser tomorrow. None of my proposed questions will win any prizes for  originality but mean something to me and are questions I'd like his answer to. I'll share his thoughts in my journal after speaking with him.

Suggested questions:

What size of cylinders (cm) did you use?
Did you have to use Rear Tip Extenders?

How many?

I seem to have a good solid glans when aroused. How far into the glans do the cylinders extend 1/4, 1/2 etc?

How often do you want me to cycle? Still every day? How many months should I do that for?

This flaccid penis always seems erect? As far as I can tell I'm fully deflating (squeezing the full penis) but the end near the glans never really softens. What do you think?

According to Francois Eid, Pressure atrophy of the flesh of the penis and glans will occur over time if the implant is maintained partially inflated. Would my deflated penis (showing Mr Fraser) be classed as partially inflated?

Is this indentation on the left side a result of the excision and graft failing? Will this indentation get any worse in time or just stay the same?

My penis is firmly rooted to my abdomen and struggles to move in an upward direction. What are the dangers of this when having sex?

Are there exercises I should permanently avoid for fear of placing physically too much stress on the reservoir - sit ups etc?

What is your opinion about the life span of this implant in me?

There's discussion out there that there is a limit to the number of replacement implants one could expect in their lifetime. Being 47, all going well, how many replacements do you foresee?

It's said that replacement is a lot more complicated than the original surgery due to among other things, increased risk of infection. What are your thoughts on replacement of an implant?

I'll update my journal tomorrow evening.

Roddy

Great to hear from you Roddy.  I have been thinking about you and waiting for an update.  I think your questions are good and although I am confident of some of the answers I an very interested in hearing Dr. Fraser's response to these questions. 

I am also interested in how your first officially sanctioned voyage goes.  It has been weeks and you survived the first trial run.  With your progress, I expect that this is going to be great sex, probably not totally normal and not as movement and pain-free as it will become but far more than just a medical experiment.  I would go so far to say that good enough that even if it never got better, you would not complain.

I guess i don't have much to say, other than i am very curious to read your update post clearence for sex. fingers crossed for you roddy! 8)

Day 53 - Post Op

Been on my mind through Wednesday and Thursday that I needed to update my journal but I've been too busy having sex to get round to it.

LOL 😆 I wish!!

The timing has just been really poor for me as I've had to rip out carpet across the house, paint all walls and ceilings and then gloss the woodwork in preparation for new carpets being fitted on July 29th. Not had a moment tbh.

So I saw Mike Fraser on Wednesday. He was very happy with how everything was. Asked if I'd used my man at all, to which I told him about my little maiden voyage and how I felt like a little naughty school boy going behind my teacher's back. We laughed and joked about stuff. He is a funny man and very down to earth.

I asked him the questions that I'd planned to and we had a long chat about certain things.

What size of cylinders (cm) did you use? Answer: He used 22cm cylinders on me.

Did you have to use Rear Tip Extenders? Answer: None

I seem to have a good solid glans when aroused. How far into the glans do the cylinders extend? Answer: 1/2 way into glans.

How often do you want me to cycle? Still every day? How many months should I do that for? Answer: everyday for at least half an hour for the first 12 months. He said this is important as my penis models itself and for maximum gain and stretching out of my tissue. He suggested I do this for 30 mins before going to sleep at night, maybe as I read or something. Having thought about this, there's no way I'll be lying in bed at 11 at night, with a hard on, with my wife lying beside me, reading a book!!! I can think of something else far more enjoyable I'll be doing. He said that life quickly begins to get back to normal and it'll be easy to get lazy with cycling as time moves on but that it's important in my case to keep it going on a daily basis.

This flaccid penis always seems erect? As far as I can tell I'm fully deflating (squeezing the full penis) but the end near the glans never really softens. What do you think? Answer: He had a good squeeze of my 'flaccid' and then went right to my sack for a press of the deflate button like only an expert could, no fumbling around looking for the switch but straight to it. He gave it a press then said "nope that is you fully deflated". We then talked about how stiff it still was to which he said it was because the cylinders are quite heavy duty. He took a Titan out of his drawer and let me touch it, squeeze it etc, and yeah, it certainly isn't flimsy. He said that the cylinders definitely soften over the first year and it will not appear just so erect in its soft state.

According to Francois Eid, Pressure atrophy of the flesh of the penis and glans will occur over time if the implant is maintained partially inflated. Would my deflated penis (showing Mr Fraser) be classed as partially inflated? Answer: see my previous answer. This pretty much covers it. Stepone, prior to writing this up, I read your entry about feeling really stressed about being over inflated. I'd say, having shown Mike Fraser my 'semi' where my worry was not being deflated, I watched this expert trying to deflate me further without success. Try not to panic. It seems to me you squeezed too hard till you bruised. Mr Fraser was not concerned about atrophy from my quite stiff 'flaccid'.

Is this indentation on the left side a result of the excision and graft failing? Will this indentation get any worse in time or just stay the same? Answer: what actually happened here was that after excision of my peyronies plaque, a graft was put in. That failed. When Mr Fraser performed my implant surgery, he was concerned about this area of my penis. He wanted to graft it after the implant but was concerned about operation time and the threat of infection. He feels it is an area of definite weakness in the structure of my penis, and whilst the Titan will give it a lot of strength, I've to be very careful with it.

My penis is firmly rooted to my abdomen and struggles to move in an upward direction. What are the dangers of this when having sex? Answer: just be sensible and be aware of sudden movements.

Are there exercises I should permanently avoid for fear of placing physically too much stress on the reservoir - sit ups etc? Answer: no restrictions at all. You'll know from your own body what you do or do not wish to do.

What is your opinion about the life span of this implant in me? Answer: Around 15-20 years. No reason why not. He said he's certainly known the implant to last that long. Unfortunately, due to my excision, there's no way I'll get that long out of mine. He suspects that it'll be my left cylinder that fails first. He suspects this will happen due to the fact that there is a hole in my tunica where the tissue was excised so no covering of the cylinder. With long term inflation he said that the cylinder will develop a weak spot there as it expands uninhibited. He used the analogy of an old fashioned car tyre that, through time, would bubble up then burst. This is obviously very disappointing for me but there's not a lot I can do about it. We'll just need to see what happens in the future.

I was aware of the time and imagined his waiting room filling up with patients (rightly or wrongly). I thanked him for everything he'd done for me and we said our goodbyes. He reassured me I could personally text him at any time with concerns. I finished by asking if I now had the green light for any amount of sex, to which he brilliantly replied "fill your boots".

So, with the house in a lot of upheaval at the minute, any kind of sex would be contrived, not natural and among total mess. Not how I wanted to test drive. Eventually managed to use it last night, however, and it was good to be back in the saddle. I'll update properly when things settle back to normality here and we get the chance to experiment.

Roddy,
As usual thanks for your detailed post. You are a thoughtful guy. Also thanks for the clarification alright I also read Hawks last message about erosion, so I don't feel as panicked. I think we both may overthink things sometimes as we both want to make sure we are doing the right things.
Ha, 22cm, it seems a lot of us fall into that number. We should start a 22cm club, lol.
Hawk suggested to me about doing my inflate in the morning. I always get up an hour early of the Mrs, so i do my inflate while drinking coffee and checking my emails. This is a perfect time for me. I know what you mean about sex and trying to make it natural.
I have two thoughts on it. One is that sex should be every day and as often as I want and whenever I want. The other thought is that's not what the wife wants. I think most of us seem to fall into the second thought. So my wife and I reached an agreement, we have sex twice a week on the same day. We schedule other things around our love making and it seems to work rather well. If she is not feeling up to it, we will do it the next night, but it does seem to eliminate hard feelings or disappointment. When I was in my 40's, I know we used to do it most every day, but as we have aged, things have changed. Sex is such a complicated things at time. But I am sure you will soon come to agree that having an implant sure makes sex easier again. As a mater of fact, it is better in a way, as I can always get a hard on.
You have been such a good patient, no doubt in my mind that you will continue to do well.
You, like all of us, have moved through this journey together.
I had a modified Nesbit penis surgery prior to this surgery, I have a dent too, so I just go with the flow now. I am going to try to enjoy my 85 day new penis and put all these unnecessary worries aside.
I am so happy for you as you have progressed, I wish you well and look forward to more of your posts.
Cheers and thanks again.
StepOne

Roddy, great to hear back and clearing up the growing mystery.  I have been looking for your posts at least twice a day and was disappointed each time they were not found.  I was beginning to worry that you might have overdone it and died of a heart attack during sex and we would forever be left without the knowledge that you went out in an explosion of ecstasy, a huge smile on your face, and with Mike Frasers' name on your lips.

Be sure to give your wife your login information just in case so she can at least update us  :)

PS: Your questions and answers were great.  There were no real surprises.  I am not certain I will last as long as your implant (who is?) but if I am still around I would be willing to take the gamble that your cylinder is not the first thing to go.  First, Titan cylinders are the least vulnerable thing in of all the components in the implant world.  Secondly, long before your cylinder goes you would over time start to see the cylinder bulge there and fill the dip, then bulge beyond the dip so instead of a dent in your penis you would have a bulge. At that point just wear a heavy wide silicone cock ring like a tire patch ;)

Hi Stepone/Hawk. Thanks for your detailed replies. Stepone, I couldn't agree more with what you're saying regarding sex and making time for each other. Life can so easily get in the way, what with long hours at work, kids etc. You're also doing great in your recovery (apart from your new bruising). Yes, every day or two brings news experiences and boxes ticked in getting back to full fitness. I'm really going to enjoy getting used to this new penis of mine, what it can and cannot do, what feels best and what to avoid. Now that we've used it a few times it's getting exciting.

Hawk, thanks for your insight into how my indentation might develop and your thoughts on how you think the cylinder is the least of our worries when discussing potential failure. All seems very logical what you're saying. Sorry for keeping you in suspense for so long awaiting news of how I got on.

Cheers guys.

Day 58 (8 weeks) Post Op

My recovery continues to improve at a terrific rate. With every post I seem to report how much my life has returned to normal and this post is no exception. I continue to cycle every night before bed - whilst lying in bed - for at least 30 minutes. That is, on the days now when I don't have sex with my wife. I was given the all clear 'sign off' by Mr Fraser only last Wednesday, 7 days ago, and have managed to have sex 4 times since. With each time it has got better and better. Other journals so rightly state that to begin with, in the early sexual encounters after the implant, one seems to be thinking lots of negative thoughts/worries/apprehensions such as "will I go soft just like before" but my early worry was related to how much length I've lost as a consequence of the damned peyronies plaque and then excision. Like I've said before, I reckon I've lost nearly 1.5 inches through that experience. I have been worried about length loss whilst making love this week like "can she feel me?" but with each 'session' I am getting less worried as it is clear my wife is getting what she needs from the new me.

The ability to ejaculate yet continue to make out is extraordinary. Without having actually experienced what I mean it's hard to imagine. That age old worry of mine about cumming too early and her not getting her satisfaction are redundant now. What really is unbelievable is that I now have a straight penis and don't need to try and bend it to use it. My God, 2 months ago I couldn't even show my wife my penis without distress and now it's 'perfectly normal'. Thank you Mike Fraser.

In terms of my recovery, I must report that I've had no feelings of pain at all. The pain that I suffered in the past seems to be all gone. I've been working on DIY around the house really hard over the last week and am really just able to get on with things without any thoughts or worries about my penis. Changed days. What I would say is that bending straight down is still difficult (picking stuff up off the floor or tying my shoe laces etc) on account of my 'flaccid' still being quite hard. On that note, after sex last night, I deflated and I don't know quite what happened. My cylinders emptied upon my squeezing of them more than they've done at any point up till now. So emptied that I could really feel the wrinkled empty cylinders. I was a bit alarmed that this was really the first time I've been able to do that. Not sure why or what that means?

Hope everyone is well.

Take care,

Roddy

Quote from: Roddy on July 31, 2019, 06:47:13 PM
On that note, after sex last night, I deflated and I don't know quite what happened. My cylinders emptied upon my squeezing of them more than they've done at any point up till now. So emptied that I could really feel the wrinkled empty cylinders. I was a bit alarmed that this was really the first time I've been able to do that. Not sure why or what that means?

I am not sure why you have not felt that before unless there is some chance you still had some swelling but feeling flat cylinders is normal I'd you totally deflate the feel with your fingers.

So nice to have been able to follow your diary and see the posited outcome you had. I wish you all the luck in the future and please, do enjoy as best as you can Roddy!

Same thing happened to me around 2 months in.  I was just sitting in a chair at moms. Probably fidgeting around and felt some gurgling start. Got worried went to bathroom to check it out and I was definitely softer than ever. After that I was able to deflate further than before. I also could feel the flat parts of cylinders more.

After that deflate actually became one touch. At 5 months I can just push my button and it deflates. I can squeeze it to get there faster but I have tried both ways and I get to same point without squeezing it just takes a little longer.

Hope all continues to go well. It just gets better and better. In my opinion. I just love this titan. I like the way it looks flaccid and hard both. I have no problem tucking it in Levi's or shorts a it is not an issue in a bathing suit at all. I did have to get one with a liner. I used to wear the board short suits. Those are not doable unless me and wife are alone.

Of course if we are alone we are usually skinny dipping, which usually leads to other things. So nice to have that option after 3 horrible years without it.

Day 72 - 10 weeks Post Op

It has occurred to me more than once that I don't post updates like I used to. Whilst this is a great sign of my recovery, in that I'm not always thinking about my penis now unlike before, I do miss the regular write up. There just isn't the same need now. It's not that I'll not continue, it's just that there's so little to report in between updates now as my body continues to make a full recovery. I continue to cycle every night as I lie in bed before going to sleep - the opposite to some others who prefer to cycle in the early morning when they awake. I prefer night time as I can pump up in the bathroom and then jump quickly into bed before any of the kids open my bedroom door unannounced. What a fright that would be - for me but more so for them! I lie back, inflated, pillows propping me up and my legs bent at the knees, which allows me to have my erection covered by the duvet. I lie back and read or in this case just now, write up this journal.

What I've noticed is that daily cycling is pain free and just routine, unless I miss a day. If I miss a day due to something going on I find that my inflated penis stings a little. It must be borne in mind that my penis tissue is still being stretched out in an alien fashion (a lifelong Congenital bend and THEN peyronies) and might 'sting' for some time yet. Don't misunderstand, this is nothing like the pain of the early days, not even a tiny fraction of that pain, but just enough for me to occasionally look at the time to see how long it has been inflated for and to work out how much longer I should keep it inflated. I must agree with others when I say that whilst erect/inflated and using my man for sex, there ain't no pain to speak of. Only feelings of pleasure.

If I'm being even more specific, that sting I'm referring to seems to only be at the sight of my excision from 15 months ago and a failed excision and grafting procedure. The more that I've touched, prodded and felt around over these past 10 weeks, the more I've become aware of how much of a mess was caused in that site during the first operation - my left side and underside - and how a large chunk of  penile tissue was simply removed. Like a tumour. Simply cut out. The fact that the graft material failed, and was subsequently taken out before implant inserted, has left me with at best an indent, and at worst a chunk of my dick missing. I actually believe that the implant passes through my cavernosa on left and right but that the left side is completely and totally exposed for a length before being covered by tunica again. Feels this way but I'm only guessing. I could of course simply ask Mike Fraser if I so wished. That seems to be the area of nippiness and stinging. Certainly after sex that's where I get tenderness. Nowhere else. As I've stated the last couple of times, I'll need to make sure my wife and I are careful with that area so as not to damage myself.

In my previous post on day 58, I reported that I had pressed my deflate button and mysteriously found my penis to just go all soft, crinkly and completely empty of liquid. This happened another 2 nights in a row but then never again since so even tho I know that's what's supposed to happen upon deflation, it's never happened since. Hence, I'm 'semi' most of the rest of the time - which I'm used to now, can get underwear on as expected, and can wear most types of jeans etc. I just don't get why the implant did that and never since? I've watched the videos posted by Alibaba (thank you) but don't see the solution to this particular issue among them. Takes me back to an older discussion/worry about possible long term atrophy when still 'semi' in a deflated state. Difficult not to worry about this issue when I've experienced TOTAL deflation a few times. I did show Mike Fraser feel my deflated penis in what I would call its 'semi' state and he said it was fine.

Another little thing to mention but nothing serious is that my inflation pump became very solid last week. I mean really solid - where it was maximum effort to inflate. Bizarrely this only lasted a few days and then the pump returned to normal. Now it has the gargling feeling/noise again when I squeeze it. I like to feel that as I know it's drawing liquid from the reservoir till no comes out.

That's me been inflated for 45 mins now. I'm tired and going to turn in after a hard day at work. The Titan has stood me in good stead so far, has given me my manhood back, has given me an active interest in physical sex with my wife again and I'm very happy I did it. Until next time, friends.

Roddy

Immediate Update.

I signed off there, felt around for the magic switch and guess what - total deflation again. You couldn't make it up! 😂

Always good to hear from you, Roddy.

Total deflation is good.  Partial inflation can cause erosion over time and if your tunica is thin or non-existant at the graft site it would be enough of a concern that I would squeeze my penis to make sure I got total deflation.

Hey Roddy!!! Good update you wrote there. I don't have much to add, except that I am curious as to what your final result will be in terms of straightness, considering your curvature before.

Another thing.... Don't you have locks in your doors?

Very encouraging report Roddy from the queens land across the water. 72 days is just the beginning. You are still going to notice changes for months to come. Probably more like as time goes on what you no-longer notice any more. The potential these things have with the proper model, size and installation is amazing. The peaceful being you get when all is right is a blessed gift.  Cheers buddy.

Update - 13 Weeks Post Op

I was aware that as today is Monday 3rd September and that since I underwent surgery on Monday June 3rd, today is 3 months Post Op. As it turns out, it's actually 13 weeks to the day. I must report, overall, that such has been my recovery and turnaround in my life, from the hell that was the first 4 weeks, that 3 months seems not very long at all. It feels much longer than 3 months. All of that post surgical physical and mental trauma, the serious anti pain medication, the being resigned to lying on the couch, the dreadful daytime TV, all of it, nothing but a distant memory now. Isn't the human power of healing and recovery incredible? I used to write up my journal asking, rhetorically in some cases, when my 3rd ball would be accepted by its original 2 testicles in my scrotum. You see, my balls refused to adjust to their new existence sharing their sack with this alien pump that became my 3rd ball. The constant nagging pain, mostly a dull ache, sometimes a sharp stab, always there and always on my mind. Now I don't ever think about it. Like, at all. Only 3 months later - isn't that fantastic!? The horrendous pain, and I mean utterly savage pain, of pumping up on weeks 2 and 3, when there were actual beads of sweat pouring off my forehead as I writhed in pain on the edge of my bed, cursing and openly swearing. You see, as I've repeatedly said, my dick was SO deformed that as my Titan cylinders expanded with fluid, attempting to expand perfectly straight, my 90 degree bend was insisting on bending as it always had done from its first ever erection. Ultimately the Titan won that battle and the bent penile tissue had no chance against the pneumatic power and rigidity of the implant. I knew because I was told by everyone on this forum and because of what I had read that this would be the case and that the Titan would correct my bend. Mike Fraser had no doubt it would. I had faith and believed that in time it would completely correct the bend. And correct that horrific bend it has. And then some. Now there is no pain at all on pumping up. In the early days, my penis would take about 5-10 minutes to straighten right out. Now it's pretty much instant (can be used for sex immediately) but is still aesthetically more pleasing on the eye 5 mins after pumping up. I guess the process is still developing and I'll watch this develop with interest.

Guys, the sex is phenomenal. I mean really phenomenal. The last 4 weeks in particular has given our already strong marriage an unbelievable boost. We have been like a couple of teenagers.   Two Friday nights in a row now my wife and I have had an amazing experience. Other nights for sure but the last 2 Fridays in particular. Sex with a rock hard penis that stays rock hard. There ain't any worries about potentially losing my erection. Such thoughts are resigned to history. Ain't no worries either about how many beers I've had - it no longer matters. I'm now straight and can have sex in any position we want. When I've ejaculated I've simply carried on making love til my wife gets what she needs - no limp dick. On both these evenings we have ended up making love again within a couple of hours. We never ever did that before. My how she is loving sex on demand. In terms of the orgasms themselves, they seem to be more powerful than before. I've no idea why that is the case but it does seem to be.

My only worry, like I pointed out in my last post, is the area of excision from previous failed surgery which has left a definite dent. That may well cause the implant to fail in time sooner than a healthier penis. I cannot control that. All I can do is try and be as gentle as I can be but you know the score - in the heat of passion it's difficult not to go at it too hard. I will try tho.

If anything went wrong and I had to have a refit, would I go through all that pain again? You'd better believe I would!! I've not had sex like this since I was in my late teens/early twenties!

It's still early days (numerically) but my God what a positive change to my life this Coloplast Titan implant has made.

Thanks as always for your descriptive writing. Yes it's amazing how far you and all of us have come. Don't worry about the dent, I have one too from an excision Nesbit surgery. I think over time we will be ok. Those Titan cylinders are pretty strong, so I know you may think it's like an inner tube in a bicycle tire, but there is no similarities in the materials. Let's not worry about it. Let's continue to enjoy our new bionic dicks, lol.
And yeah, the spouse never worries about me going soft after I pop. It's an amazing gift we have.
Thanks for staying in touch.

Roddy,  You put a great end to my day.  Not just one more brother but another couple restored to everything that that can be.  It honestly does my heart good.  It is also great to see you back posting.  When you got accidentally banned I almost croaked to think you were locked out wondering what had happened.

Hawk

Tears of joy reading this. Rest assured knowing it has given me a lot of encouragement reading through your experience.  You are clearly in a better place. That's so nice to see.

Enjoy Roddy!  8)

Update - 19 weeks Post Op

Been a while since I checked in. Apologies for the radio silence. I do check the forum every day and pitch in and respond to other threads, where appropriate, but as anyone who has been through a successful implant has reported, there's so much to report on in the first couple of months and then little to report on as you begin to completely heal.

Everything continues to be great here after my surgery 19 weeks ago - an eternity in my mind. So much has changed in this time, none more so than my ability to have an amazing, fulfilling and really exciting sex life again  - a far cry from the last 3 years. I now have nothing to worry about when the feeling of sexual anticipation comes around between my wife and I. The old worries of "will I get an erection?", or "will I manage to stay hard?", or "will I cum too quickly?" are all irrelevant now. Even the age old worry of having too much to drink, that would always have meant no erection, are a thing of distant memory.

It's the weirdest thing ever having this implant, folks. I get turned on, I get the physical and mental sensation, my glans (head) becomes swollen and engorged, my penis produces the same pre-sex lubrication that it always did, but my actual shaft remains lifeless. Until, that is, I have about 18 quick squeezes of my 3rd ball. When I do that I have the best and most rigid erection of my adult life. And then the sex is long lasting and the kind of stuff I used to dream of. Like reported in previous posts, I seem to take longer to climax now, post implant. Nothing to do with feeling less, nothing could be further from the truth. I still feel every sensation as before but it just takes me longer. I'm really happy about this, actually, as I've earned to relax and enjoy the experience more than I ever could. I can try loads more positions I never could try before with that awful bent penis of mine.

Like I'm supposed to, I still cycle every night before going to sleep. Unlike others on here, who enjoy a morning coffee with an erection as part of their routine, I pump up before bed and simply lie and read for half an hour before going to sleep. This seems to have worked really well for me since day one to be honest so I have just continued with that routine. Pumping up is now as easy as I would expect it to be - I simply hold the pump between my forefinger and thumb of my right hand and squeeze. About 18 times like I said until I'm absolutely rock hard. Depressing the release button to deflate, which used to give me no end of trouble, and almost made me cry with pain, is also just second nature now. It's done with little thought and has no pain attached to it at all. Today when I was deflating, and knowing it was time for an update write-up, I concentrated on how I actually achieved it. I was aware that I was holding my left thumb around the back side of the pump at the back of my sack, with my left fore finger squeezing the deflate button, whilst my right hand was being used to squeeze all the fluid out of my shaft. I was aware that I was going out this afternoon in tight jeans so had to make sure I totally deflated so there was no embarrassing bulge left highly visible from the semi that the Titan can leave you with. Sometimes it feels great to have that natural semi feeling that seems to come with the Titan but at other times you need to squeeze the life out your man to make sure it's not an embarrassing semi that's bulging through your jeans.

The worst part for me early on in the healing process was always trying to locate the deflate switch. Anyone reading this who is recently implanted needs to know that THAT horrific pain does go away over the weeks. Your balls just seem to adapt and accept their new friend in time and there's no hurrying Mother Nature. As every man and their dog would advise me "be patient, Roddy, stop trying to hurry the healing process, you'll be fine in time etc". Never a truer word was spoken.

I'm in Rome on holiday just now. I googled the Coloplast Titan, after my usual airport drama, to see if any part of it is made of metal because, once again, just like travelling to and from Portugal in July, the airport scanner went crazy - as did the hand held scanner when the guards body searched me. I stood there sniggering to myself as the equipment told them there was something wrong but no human could find anything on me of any concern. I've since learned that the X-ray machine would reveal my implant but that was after the metal alarm scanner, which would have meant they would be forced to look at my X-ray. Then came the full body search and pat down, obsessed with my groin area, so why would they body search me if they already saw the device on the machine? Anyone else ever experience this?

In terms of size, I am still at 6.25 inches when pumped up. I've been this size now since about week 8. Prior to Peyronies, and my failed excision and grafting, which was a disaster, I was 8 inches erect. That 8 inches, however, was with a severe, downward, congenital curve that made sex in most positions very difficult. I've read a lot on this forum about guys who are obsessed with size. They seem lost in their worry about how much length they could lose with an implant. If that's you and you're reading this, you need to try and appreciate the fact that 6.25 inches of a bone-hard penis, that's totally straight, will be SO much more use to you than an 8 inch floppy dick that you cannot sustain an erection with, let alone a dick that's so badly mis-shaped that ANY kind of meaningful sex is almost out of the question with. It's honestly a no brainer. I know all about the really painful decision that a lot of guys mull over and over in their mind, and then they seek advice on here with their questions and subsequent public discussions, as to whether an implant is correct for them or not. I've been there. So many have. It takes over their lives - every thought, every moment. It's an obsession. It took over mine. I once again state with 100% conviction that had I had the knowledge and hindsight of what I have now experienced since 3rd June 2019, I would have undergone this surgery 10 years ago. No argument. No evidence to convince me otherwise. If my implant only lasts another year, which it won't, and my surgeon said "Roddy I can put another one in for you that will only last another year" I would not think that over for any length of time. I would go through all the pain again. Why? Because I've had 12 weeks of the best sex of my life. On demand. It has taken my relationship with my wife to a new level. I still strut around in front of the bedroom mirror admiring my 'arrow like' erection. My dick was never shaped like that. I love it and so, it appears, does my wife.

Thoughts to all.

Roddy

Roddy, you have got to be the best writer ever.
Blessings for you and your family and once again thanks for being so open and sharing of your feelings.

StepOne

Amazing to see how things turned out for you Roddy. The only thing I say, is that if you ever feel like sharing a picture of your current inflation straightness  it would be great. To show and encourage others on how much the implant works at correcting peyronies and bad curvatures.

Roddy,  Your success is not just a great story with a happy ending for you,  It is like a gift to me every time I read it.  Your happiness at conquering your issues just makes me happy.  More importantly, however, is the permanent record you are leaving for others that struggle.  Often because of ignorance, they struggle without any hope.  You are helping change that.

Thanks!

Week 22 (5.5 months) Post-Surgery Update

This month's update is very similar to last month's so I'll keep it short and sweet. To be honest I could just stop posting as there's not much more to report now and it might become annoying to read the same old, same old ... but I am conscious of the fact that I said from the outset that I hoped my journal, from the early days/weeks of pure hell, to these later months of my implant only bringing me positive news that could/should inspire others, that I would record this journey for future reference to help others.

I have no problems/issues to report and continue to report nothing but positive news. I have gone from no sex with my wife (completely unusable deformed dick) to great, fulfilling, sex at least twice a week. Not making it up to sound smug or for something to write, I'd confidently say it's the best sex of my life as referenced in my other topic 'Implant Pros and Cons'.

Some members have asked for some photographic proof of my progress. So in preparation for that I emailed my surgeon's secretary asking for photos from the operating table where you could see the mess my penis was in prior to surgery. That was 2 weeks ago and they're very slow to oblige so in the meantime I've taken the liberty of attaching some photos I took tonight of my current pumped up state. Remind yourself when you look at these photos that my penis was bent greater than 90 degrees downward like a banana. As soon as I get photos from the hospital I'll be sure to upload them too for comparison. I'm delighted with my progress.

Hope everyone is well.

Roddy

Photos attached this time!

Are these all current pics?

Yes, TonySa. Tonight. An hour ago.

Thank you so much for this Roddy! Impressive!! I can't wait to see how it was before, with your extreme curvature. I really hope they come through with it.

Enjoy it sir!!!!!!!!  ;D 8)

great report and pics.  Hopefully, you will get some before pics.  What size Titan do you have?  You look considerably above average in those pics.  It must be awesome to go from an unusable penis to an unstoppable package like that.

6 MONTHS AND ONE WEEK POST OP UPDATE


So it's exactly 27 weeks (6 months and one week) since my implant surgery. As I've said before, my updates are few and far between now due to the absolute normality of life again. A far cry from when I used to post every week with an update. The surgery seems much longer ago than 6 months - it's a weird feeling. Seems like I've had this new penis of mine longer than that.

I don't have any pain or discomfort at all. None. My 3rd ball is now just completely part of my sack and I don't really give it much thought now. I still cycle every single night before I sleep and it's just a routine part of my life. In fact it's so routine that it happens from 10 pm until 10.30 pm. I simply inflate then lie back and read or use my phone. When it's time to deflate, I'm not ashamed to admit that I do like to announce to my wife that "I better go and deflate". This is in fact my signal to her that if she wants to 'use it' then now is the time otherwise I deflate and it's off to sleep. On average we 'use it' once midweek and sometimes twice at the weekend. If I'm lucky.

Luck. There's a concept for you. I've had very bad luck to be blighted by this awful condition. Even more bad luck to have had a failed excision and graft that it turns out probably was the wrong procedure to undergo and yet, at the same time, unbelievable good luck to have happened upon Mike Fraser when I did. This was a very good piece of luck as he operated out of the local hospital without me even knowing he existed. I then had the good luck to be life-long friends with a surgeon whom I decided one night to confide in regarding my mess of a penis.  He arranged for me to visit Mr Fraser who took me into his care and transformed my mess of penis into its current bionic state. So much as I've had to suffer extreme Peyronies, I'm extremely grateful for the good break I've been given. At 48 now, my penis is in the healthiest shape of its adult life. Ain't life strange?

In regard to the implant itself, all continues to be good. It pumps up to rock hard without any fuss. Deflation was always the most painful part of the process for me and finding the deflate button on the Titan was always more than a little tricky. 6 months in I just instinctively know where the button is without any thought or need to feel around. I think I've only ever really managed the 'One Touch' deflation that Hawk etc have mentioned twice in 6 months. I'm not bothered at all by this. I simply press deflate with my left hand whilst squeezing my penis empty of fluid with my right hand. Early worries about having a semi and not fitting into underwear or showing thru jeans etc have simply gone away. I just embrace being well hung now - one of the upsides you don't really have control over and if anything, is probably quite good for one's self esteem LOL.

As I've said a few times now, if this implant were to fail for whatever reason I wouldn't hesitate for a moment to go thru all of the early pain and discomfort again. This implant has been truly life changing for my wife and I. If anyone out there has the personal circumstances which are right for an implant - when other solutions have led to failure - I recommend this to you 100%. I cannot emphasise enough how I feel about this. I could have and should have done this years ago. From what I've experienced these past 6 months, it has improved my quality of life tenfold.

I still check in every single night to see any new posts on here. If anyone ever needs advice then please feel free to ask or private message me and I'd be only to glad to help - as others have helped me.

Roddy you my friend are amazing.
Thanks for sharing all your personal feelings and thoughts.
I am so happy for you and all of your posts. You are an excellent writer.
Life is good and feeling blessed.
StepOne

Happy holidays to you Roddy, and thank you once again for sharing your story and pictures with us. An inspiration to many here I firmly believe. I have been directing members from the other board to your thread, so they know first hand about your outcome and doctor.

Thanks for your very kind words, Stepone. And Pfract, Happy Holidays to you too. I am only too happy to be any kind of help to anyone that needs advice or encouragement. I received nothing but great advice from both of you among many, many more in my hours of need at the beginning of this whole process. Cheers, guys.

Roddy,

Thanks so much for your dedication to the cause and your willingness to pass along your expertise and hard-gained wisdom.

Merry Christmas!

Hawk

Hi Roddy,

I sent you a message, your journal is great to read, and very relevant to me as a fellow scot!

Glad you made it here roast beef. If you do end up getting an implant, please open a diary with us.

Hi, thanks for the welcome!
I will do when I do!

Hi Roast Beef

Feel free to message me for specific advice/answers to questions when you feel you want to. Alternatively, please post your questions here so that I can advise you of my experiences and observations on our quite different medical care here in the UK - there will be a fair number of Brits on this forum flying under the radar who may well benefit from reading the advice even if they do so in silence. That is how I operated for the best part of a year until I summoned the courage to post for the first time. Sharing information is how we all learn from each other and support those who need it. Good to hear from you.

Cheers

Roddy

Hi all,

Roddy, I sent you a message earlier tonight, I would copy and paste it here put it seems they don't keep a record of sent messages? You're quite right, this is the place to post.

I'm sure there are many Brits watching quietly, I have been posting on the other forum (I'm not sure if we can mention) and talking to folk there. They have been great, it's just great to finally be in touch with someone closer to home as they are almost entirely American.

I think my question was focused on the hospital experience itself, what happened on the day of surgery, then after before you left the hospital. I have so many questions but don't want to flood you!

Go for it, Roast Beef - I'm very happy to help with my own experiences and give advice to you in the same way the rest of the guys on here helped me. They were a source of inspiration and a fount of knowledge when I went through my implant surgery. You have a huge advantage that I never had tho because I only started posting the day after my surgery. You get to ask questions in advance. Fire away.

Yes, Please post for the thousands it may help for years into the future.

wow that's some hope for all the UK guys that have no other way than getting surgery!

What's your point, melting?

I wouldn't look for a logical point that he's making...

Post Implant Update - 14.5 months post surgery.

It's been 8 months since I posted anything at all. In one sense that is reaffirming that I have stopped constantly thinking about my penis like I did when I was at my lowest point post surgery last year. It consumed my every thought. Life has simply moved on for me and I am nothing other than a fantastic success story and a true advocate of penile implantation.

Since I last posted in January we have been exposed to Covid-19 and it has dominated world news. I have logged in to the forum intermittently over the last 8 months and hoped that everyone was safe and well. I'm glad to see some of the usual posters and contributors still making the effort on a regular basis but also cannot help notice that the traffic has slowed somewhat. I do hope we haven't lost any members due to the virus.

I'm delighted to report that my sex life and penis health are excellent. I still find myself making love in positions I'd never experienced all my life due to my extraordinary pre-surgery bend. I cannot put into words how satisfying these experiences are. I often pinch myself when having sex in positions that were never possible before. Let's just say I'm still over the moon with my implant.

I contacted Mike Fraser, my surgeon, on June the 2nd, the anniversary of my implant surgery, to thank him for all he had done for me. The man changed my life. I've no idea how many British men have read my journal, but if you have read my journal it's likely because you have Peyronies or the likes and are seeking information about this terrible condition. I'd recommend Mike Fraser to anyone in the UK, regardless of which country you live in. We read so much on this forum about the American surgeons but it's important for anyone over this side of the Atlantic to know he exists.

I'm definitely of the opinion that my own implant journey has come to an end and that I have nothing new to report. I will continue to check in and look out for familiar names and stories and to read the comments and questions of any newbies requiring help and advice. I will never forget the wealth of advice that was given to me in the first 4 weeks of my post surgical experience and will always be indebted to all who supported me. I hope to be able to do the same for others as the months and years progress.

Take care everyone and I hope you are all well.

Roddy

Hi Roddy,

Thanks for updating, you're a lucky man to have got in and out before Covid hit! I scrolled back through your pics, to think of the difference the implant made. You made the right decision, lo for medical science eh.
In a way it was quite nice to see you disappear, because it told me that it all worked out. You see that on other medical forums as well, everything from mental health to physcial problems, posters just come back less and less. It's not a bad thing, in a way.

I love that you contacted Mike to thank him, I'm sure it means a lot to him. It's feedback on his job, and to find he did it well, in a job that must be hellish stressful at times, must keep him going. Good on ya.
We're lucky to have him. So easy for us to take the NHS for granted. Even though it has it's issues. It's our greaterst achievement I think.

Everyting is on hold now with Covid. I'm no further ahead than I was. Still hoping for a referal to Mike. Do you know if he's still working? I assume not, I think the vast majority of non essential operations are on hold, the way it has to be I suppose. :(   Having said that I would go in tomorrow if offered!
This virus has cost us so much behind the scenes. Can only carry on and be positive.

Take care of you and yours.

Thanks, mate. Surely things will be up and running again soon I hope and your wait will be over. I hope he doesn't retire before you get your surgery done by him. That would be rotten luck. Fingers crossed.

He's no near that old surely!   

I'll be dragging him off the golf course if so.    :(

Hey Roddy, thanks for the update. Glad all is going well.

StepOne

Thank you for all that you shared Roddy. I'm sure it will be of use to a lot of members in the future. For encouragement... guidance.... very nice for US at the staff as well because now we can recommend confidently this doctor to folks in the UK.

Whishing you all the best with your implant, with many smiles per stroke as i say. Take care!

Awesome story Roddy! These are the types of stories that really are encouraging!

Brilliant read Roddy.

Really proves that this is a marathon and not a sprint.

I'm also off to Portugal later this year (covid permitting).

If more of us go there it'll get the reputation of being the Lourdes for implants.

Ian.

Ian C:

I do hope more brits go there, to Mike Fraser. Unfortunately mane of them only talk about and go to David Ralph, who judging by what i read i far from the best and there are plenty of complaints out there on him. I've been trying to share the word on Dr. Mike F, but i am not sure how well that has been working out.