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Author Topic: I'm scared. Need serious advise  (Read 587 times)

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DepressedSoul

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I'm scared. Need serious advise
« on: October 08, 2017, 10:42:55 AM »

Hello.

I have 21 and I think I have peyronie's disease. I have an appointment with the doctor in the 16th of October but my anxiety is through the roof. I never had any sexual intercourse and I don't know why this is happening to me. I didn't feel any pain even. Half a year ago after an ejaculation i felt a really hard pain in my penis but it cant be related, can it? I even went to the emergencies because it was preventing me from urinating. They gave me some painkillers and it was okay because they didn't find any bacteria or infection and they examinated my penis there aswell.

Is it not enough that I'm quite small down there? (5.5 inches) Why? Just why? If i never had sex. I just masturbate twice a week (sometimes more others less but that's the average) and I'm not rough with my penis... This is killing my self esteem and I'm considering breaking up with my LDR because of this. She doesn't know and I'm scared shitless of letting her know. She has seen my penis. We've "played" already through video and she didn't say anything related to that and I thought that it must have been nothing because if it was something noticeable she would have pointed out right?

And it's not a right to left or left to right bending. It's up and then goes down a bit and stabalizes like this  -__ (Not so noticable only in the right side starting in the base)

I already went to an appointment and the doctor said he couldn't feel anything while my penis was flacid so he told me to take pictures to show him. I'm waiting for 2 months now so that I can go to this appointment. I even went to another one that said I most likely don't have peyronie's disease and that it is just a congenital bend but he didn't want to see the pictures. He also said that I shouldn't worry because even If i have that disease there's no medical way to fix it and they only fix it through surgery if the bending is too much and it causes problems in the individual's sexual life or other things like Erectile disfunction. And i've read that it can reduce penis size!!!! Guys I'm already small for crying out loud! Please don't do this to me......

I'm seriously in a bad moment right now. I dont know what to do if it really is peyronie's disease. It's not fair for F'^+s sake. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety problems since I was 16 making treatments and such. I've also had an emergency surgery because of a testicular torsion when I was 15. How can this be? I'm lost in my life, I have no job and I'm just starting to finally get up and fight for my life and this happens? I can't handle it.

Why? I really want to shot myself in the head right now.
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Tsanchez12369

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2017, 12:29:01 PM »

Hello, if it is peyroines u seem to have caught it early.  Why not start traction and VED to stabilize and hopefully return your penis to its original shape.  If you have a picture of before the bend and after the MD will hopefully start you on pentox.  If not, you can order it online.  Also, do you have anyone you can talk to about your depression since this situation can really make it worse?  There is also medication...even for depression that is due to someone going through a traumatic experience such as this.  Don't let others dissuade you from getting the treatment that will help you get through this.  Also, 5.5 inches is not "very small", it's average and that means half the men out there wish they were your size!  And your gf never mentioned anything about size after the videos.  Please take care of yourself, you will get through this and the guys here will support you.  Tony
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DepressedSoul

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2017, 12:46:55 PM »

Thank you for the reply. I'm really unstable right now. I don't know what to do. I'm panicking and I'm very scared. I just don't understand why this keeps happening to me. First the torsion, then size issues and now this possible problem. I don't understand what I did wrong.

By the way when I mentioned that it's killing my self esteem and that I'm considering breaking up with my gf is because of this possible disease. I've come to terms with my size. I can't do anything about it although I did have a lot of confidence issues with it due to Porn and just because it's just true that a bigger member makes a woman more satisfied from what I read and see.(Sorry if it can be misinterpreted in my post, sometimes my english is quite messy)

I just don't understand why is this disease coming to me now. What did I do to this world that made me go through all these problems? I just don't get it. I'm really broken.

Sorry for venting in a place I shouldn't. I know this isn't the place to discuss other things but I'm really on the verge and I finally stopped my depression treatment since may and I was feeling okay and after the end of july this started... I don't even know if it did start before I just noticed it when I was masturbating. No pain or erection problems(at least masturbating, as I said I never had sex), just an unnatural up and down bend.

Should I start looking for specialists in my country? I don't know if there's any and I don't think my saved up money is enough to go to the US and get an appointment with someone very good...
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Tsanchez12369

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2017, 03:12:48 PM »

I'd first get back to the depression treatment you had.  This will help you to be in better shape to make the important decisions.  Is that available to you?
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DepressedSoul

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2017, 04:01:17 PM »

I'd first get back to the depression treatment you had.  This will help you to be in better shape to make the important decisions.  Is that available to you?

No It's not right now and to be fair I don't want to go back in medication. It would help but I cant keep relying on it.

Right now I just need the confirmation that I have this disease. The wait is killing me and watching the pictures is making me even more anxious because I can clearly see a bend there that isn't natural. I can't understand if there's a plaque or not because when my penis has a full erection it's hard like it's impossible to notice but i do notice the right side a bit higher than the left side at some point. It's just the confirmation because I'm sure I have it. I wish I didn't but it will be a miracle if this isn't the peyronie's disease. I still don't understand why he didn't make me do an ultrasound the first time I was there and only asked for pictures.

Apparently this doctor is the one that "Fixes dicks" (through surgery) according to the other doctor I went to so it is the proper one to talk to in my area.
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Christopher1

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2017, 07:04:03 PM »

Relax. There are many treatments out there to try.

Also - medicine is constantly advancing. Who knows what the future holds with advanced hormone therapy and stem cells.

DepressedSoul

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2017, 03:05:55 PM »

Decided to make an update. Went to an expert on the matter. A real one this time (someone that actually studied the disease  and he said that it is possible that the disease happened at some point. He prescribed me pentoxifylline because even though he said that he couldnt feel any plaque while evaluating my penis he also said that i should take it for 6 months to prevent possible developments. He also saw a picture of the "injury".

Should I take this? He said it's to help the blood run in the veins. Something among those lines. Anyone that can explain me this better? Does this actually help?
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DepressedSoul

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Mas_guerrero

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #8 on: December 07, 2017, 04:59:10 PM »

Hello Depressedsoul, i am 21 too so i completely understand how you are feeling right now. Plus i also havent experienced intercouse yet so i presume my old masturbation habits are the cause of my condition.
Had my first symptoms last year when i started feeling pain while erect, just the night when i was ready to enjoy my first sexual experience. As you can imagine this  imposibility to perform left me devastated for months. Several doctors told me that the only solution for my 45° left curvature was surgery! (No thanks, i had already been there twice in my teenage years with circumscition and a later complication). Depression and negative thoughs conquered me until sooner this year when i took the decision to be proactive and to change my negativity into possitive vibes. All this combined with a healthier diet, abstination from porn and masturbation and contrast bath (hot water and then cold). I'm also into pentox, for 4 months now. More than a year later from my darkest times, my curvature has been reduced to 25° and the pain is fading.
I'm still virgin but i ve reached to a true ceirtanty that this condition will not stop me from enjoying intimacy. My whole point is that as soon you stregthen your mind the better. Your curvature looks mild so the best you can do right now is abstain and help your body to heal.
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DepressedSoul

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2017, 10:30:41 AM »

Thank you for the comment @Mas_guerrero

It's just devastated. I honestly think I've been cursed. Im a broken man that only sees death as an answer and doesn't have the guts to do it. No woman will ever want me like this.

Also I don't know how much time it takes to heal. It might have happen around April/May... Will it get worse even after all this time? I'm so f'^+'ing afraid... I broke up with my gf. She deserves something better. At least something not broken.

Im sorry you had to go through all that. Im just ready to give up without having the strength to do it.
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Tsanchez12369

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2017, 10:45:19 AM »

The good news is your penis looks very normal and healthy.  I can’t see any girl rejecting you for your dick!  Now, maybe for your self esteem...really consider restarting your anti-depressant medication since it was helpful.  Don’t worry about relying on medications...a diabetic doesn’t and you too have a physiological based (seratonin) deficiency.  Counseling can help, especially cognitive based therapy.  Do you have any before pics,  if there is a difference (less curve for example) you’ve caught it early and the pentox should prevent any further peyroines development.  Although it doesn’t feel like it, you’ve stopped and problems with your duck in time and now just need help with the depression.
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DepressedSoul

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2017, 11:04:19 AM »

Quote deleted by moderator. Read the forum rules!

Unfortunately no... but the first one is from October and the last one was took 3 days ago (you can tell by the pubic hair and the shorts that they weren't took at the same time) because i took the last one to compare if there was any major difference. I can't really understand if there is if im honest. I also took from above when I found out about all this (around august) but there weren't differences. You can't spot anything from above it looks like a normal penis and from the left side its the same so i deleted them from my phone. Wish I didn't right now if I'm honest. Older than that i dont have any pictures because i never took pictures of my penis...

About pain I don't really feel any pain other than that first thing i mentioned when I masturbated and had severe pain in my penis for like 30 minutes after ejaculating. (It's mentioned in my first post) Only "pain" i feel which isn't really pain it's more discomfort than pain it's if my penis is bend to the left in my trousers. For some reason it always tended to bend to the right inside my pants. (while flaccid i mean ofc)

Btw it's important to mention that i still didn't take anything for the curve. I didn't took any medication because these all time i kept going to different urologists. Almost all of them told me to forget it and said it was nothing and i decided to visit an expert and yeah he kind of confirmed it. Said i was lucky because he couldnt feel any plaque and to take pentox like i said in another previous comment.

So to conclude you advise me to take the 6 months of pentox right? And to start sertraline again (it was what i took for depression and anxiety).
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Tsanchez12369

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2017, 11:35:40 AM »

Yes, sounds like a good plan!
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james1947

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Re: I'm scared. Need serious advise
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2017, 01:30:38 AM »

As an introductory topic the topic will be locked.
Continue the conversation on the adequate board or send me a PM to move the topic to an other board
with the link to this topic


James
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