Don't know what to do

[Smiles]

Hello, I am 43 and my bf is 51. He was diagnosed with peyronies over a year ago and he has been using a prescription cream for nearly a year. I am trying very hard to work with him, be understanding, supportive, loving and caring. I want to help him through this as well as myself. We barely have sex, he doesn't touch me, doesn't tell me I'm attractive to him anymore and I miss him greatly. When I bring up the subject, he puts it all on him, it's my problem, nothing is going to change and I have ed too. I have told him how hard this is for me to deal with because he has such a thick wall around him and our relationship is struggling. When I talk to him, he only focuses on sex, there is so much more that he doesn't hear, one track focus. I came home from work last Friday and told him I can keep living like this, I myself have hit depression and am now on antidepressants. I can't be me at home, at work I can be my silly self. I told him I feel hurt, unwanted, untouchable, and not enough affection is received. He said he didn't know I felt that way, and it's because he only listens to one thing. I have offered to go to counseling so we can get help to get through this, but I'm not seeing it will happen. I have suggested other forms of sexual intimacy, and I am so ok with it, but I am not getting a touch yet. He admitted he has cause the no touch zone for him because I brought up I don't know when it's safe. I can't be my silly dirty jokey self as he takes offense and said it scares him. I cannot be me, as I just want to make love or even be touched intamatly.... I'm starved..... I am having a difficult time smiling at home and wanting to be home, I want to work on things with him, but he has no desire to touch me sexually. Sure, we hold hands and I get a peck kiss, no passion, just lucky if there is passion once a month. I have a high sex drive and he has none. I need advise, he said he'd try breaking the wall down, but each passing day I hurt more, cry more and just want him to love me like he once did. Peyronies is effecting both of us and I'm about to walk away from a good man that won't touch me.  

[suicidecomingsoon]

The person who is suffering is he not you. You say I want sex I want feel attractive wtf He wants sex for sure but simply he cant now, he has peyronie and ED you know? He is the victim not you. You say I try focus the relation in other place, there arent others places you are a woman and he is a man sex is neccesary, you arent friiends, you arent another boy, he doesnt want speak with you for that are his friend he wants F^@% and you too because in the last part of you message you said it.
Then stop making yourself the victim because the one that is going wrong is him and not you, you when you get tired of the situation you can go with another guy but he can not go with another woman
I hope that man get an implant, and he can be happy again and feel good when he is with the women he wants

[Smiles]

Ouch, I don't think this forum is for me, I feel insulted for how I feel. No compassion for what the partner is going through.  

[Stabler]

Smiles....

You are NOT in the wrong place and yes I would feel insulted as well. There is a kinder way to explain what your partner is going through....

Please PM me so we can discuss what you are feeling.  Please don't leave this forum it really is a good place to be and learn about Peyronies.  I'm sorry you felt insulted.

Stabler67

[LWillisjr]

Smiles,
This forum is for all those impacted by Peyronies. Men and their partners. Don't let one person's hateful response drive you away. Maybe you can learn something here to help your partner get better.


Suicidecomingsoon,
I know you feel devastated with this disease and trying to cope with it. But our female partners suffer from this as well emotionally. Which is the forum has a dedicated section for females only. I know that may be difficult for you to understand. Maybe Smiles can learn something to pass along and help her bf as well.

[james1947]

Suicidecomingsoon

Your answer is not in place.
Our partners are affected by this disease even worst than us.
They are losing something they were used to and is not easy.

James

[suicidecomingsoon]

Sincerely james, a woman will not feel far worse than a man with this, yes, the woman can have a bad time, she'll say he's sad why?, we do not have sex anymore wtf, but the one that really has a bad time is man , A thousand times worse than the woman, what a man feels with this and more if he has ed can not compare with what a woman can feel, not even close. For the man, life will be finished or almost, for the woman not, there are men who have even taken their own lives for this (I may end up like this, I hope not and I find a solution, but if I do not find anything I will kill myself, before that die of sadness) A woman will never think this because her man has peyronies or ED, so no, say that the woman is worse than the man is crap, and it is a lie, and although saying this is not politically correct, and even more, now in this feminist society, this is the truth [vulgarity removed]


I have been on this forum for 10 years and seldom have to step in this way. Attacking other's feelings is a violation of forum rule 4 and won't be tolerated. There is no way any of us can compare our pain or hurt to someone else's...... male or female. Things are being taken out of context here and the focus needs to be on supporting each other and not attacking others no matter what pain we feel personally. Warning has been issued.    -   Admin Les

[Stabler]

Look Suicidecomingsoon

You have no reason to speak to the women of our forum in this manor. Everyone who is dealing with Peyronies has the right to our support and compassion, you are here dealing support and help and everyone here has offered that to you without being obnoxious or rude. Try showing the same in return. You remarks are uncalled for.

Stabler67

[Smiles]

I want to say thank you for all the messages this weekend, from both men and woman. I can tell you all the support and advise helps. I have gained hope, perspective, advise and compassion from the ones I have spoken with, I so appreciate it! Things are looking up at home, which I am please after a rough weekend of talking, we are going in a better direction. Opening up and communication is the key with moving forward! I feel blessed to say that talking and getting the shell down has made a vast improvement! I love him and want to help support him, he is my honey. For all of us on here, we can help each other no matter if we are the partner or the one with, we can help! Having male perspective has definitely helped me understand the wall and how to start chipping away at it with a little at a time and the female perspective of knowing I am not the only one who feels the way I do with the advise. Thank you from all of you!

[dever]

Smiles, very happy to hear that things are looking up for you! It is DEFINITELY not only we men who suffer.

[popopo]

Kinda frown upon James statement "Our partners have it worse than us". Nope, I don't need to feel my ... inside to know it doesn't feel/work the way it should and it leaves me without a partner. If I had one the worst thing for her would be to break up with me, but you get over that. Heck if you love each other so much might as well get a dildo or something. A man can not walk away from his dick. We're stuck with this till the end, so let's just say in the very least that men with ED struggle a little more than their partners, but of course if the relationsship is long lasting (something a lot of our young members see as rare) I could see how it affects the partner just as much. Suicidecomingsoon reacted triggered, but it's probably because he doesnt want to here that "women suffer more" here on a peyroniesforum, while he probably hears statements like that in other area's of life all the time. If you think about it like that, it is kind of ridiculous statement to say about such a "man"-problem, that women suffer more. Just my two cents.

[Christopher1]

Explore treatments like TRT, viagra/cialis, and - of course - pentox.