I give up

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NeoV

B12 and alpha lipoic acid may help, as well as ALCAR which can regrow nerves and dull pain. It's also an antidepressant which is nice.

Have you seen a real Peyronie's expert? I have to check who you saw. I find it very odd that they wouldn't have better answers for you. I'm going to have to re read your first posts.

Also I'm very curious about your case nowhereman.  

FriskyDingo

Did i read correctly in your first post that you smoke?

peyronny

I'm on Acetyl L-carnitine. it's kind of a cheaper brand I've been using lately, not sure if that makes a difference. When I run out of everything next I'm gonna try to get bulk powder form instead.

I don't personally smoke. But I am around it quite a bit and have been all my life, I was just talking second-hand exposure and my area in general.

The doctor's Dr. Anand Shridharani in Chattanooga. Idk if he's considered a peyronie's specialist, but he does and has treated it. It's listed on his site. But he is confusing scar tissue, or at least some type of injury, as something that's been there all my life. Even though I'm fairly certain I have peyronies because the shape of my penis is completely different than it used to be, I could be completely wrong for all I know. But when he said the source of my pain is not coming from my penis at all and there is nothing wrong with my penis at all, I honestly wanted to smack him. I have pain in other parts of my body and they do not bother me very much. This is very distinct and very clearly my penis. I feel pain if I touch the areas and I felt pain during the examination. There are clearly lumps all over my penis, could be something else altogether. But they are distinctly under the skin because I feel them as I'm getting an erection. But my erections themselves are ever changing. One day I'll wake up and there's a curve to the left. One day it's completely straight. I think because I have several areas that are still not healed.  

FriskyDingo

Well if its up any consolation I had have been able to stop my pain and have been slowly regeneratiung the erectile function I have lost. I feel like I could tell you all that I have done, but you seem to be at the point where it wouldnt matter. There are so many people giving you all kinds of different advice that I can certainely understand your confusion as to what to do.

All I can say is that I will cure my peyronies. I have seen leaps of progress since my decision to do everyhing I can about it. I am getting to the point where I am thinking of forgoing the surgery I had planned to have in a year from now. And if all else truly fails in my allotted time frame, then theres always the dice of getting an implant

I hope my determination and progress can motivate you.

peyronny

I just remembered at one point he said I might at most have a calcified vein but never really elaborated. When I asked it it could cause pain he said he didn't know.


NeoV

Take the long drive to the specialist. By all means.

If you don't, ten years will go by and you'll still be wishing you did. Even specialists can't always do anything for you, but you can get a real opinion and answer. There's no guarantee even from the best specialists, but it's just something that has to be done. Having this disease really reinforces the narrow road we all must live. It's a series of check boxes that may or may not lead us to where we hope to to, but is guaranteed to lead us somewhere better than now. If anything good comes from pain, it's the ability to see yourself in third person. It forces you to become mindful and learn meditation and mindsets that will help you. I know how bad physical pain and deformity are, at times it just seems impossible...

Make a plan to see someone actually qualified to help you. Until then try some new things. Continue on with abstinence and try traction and VED if possible. Keep on a good diet or fast every other day. Drop the carbs HARD. There is a link between IBS and ED, so simply not being full may help you, as it does me.

kuaka

While I only have penile pain during strong erections...which is rare for that reason...I have more than ample old-injury pain.  Pain sucks.  It prevents you from doing what you want to do, and makes you rely on some sort of pain management.  A good pain management regimen will include mental, physical and medicinal aspects in a balance.  

Hang in there.  Seek the best professional assistance you can locate.  Take better care of your overall health...it will make you respond better to whatever treatment approaches you try.  

Dared

You just described how I feel verbatim. Like you I have had a hard life even before peyronies with various other health problems like epilepsy, hearing loss anxiety etc. I know how hard it is but the way I see it I don't have any other option but to push on because I'm not religious so for me this life is it. I do believe there will be a cure for this disease(or at least an effective treatment) the question is how long will we have to wait. I've also been fortunate enough to have a living partner who sticks by my side(so far) through this nightmare. I'm in the same boat as you. Started out with one or two plaques and made it worse with the various treatments(ved, traction) and also by having too much sex. I now have ten plaques my dick is basically a hanging piece of scar tissue. I think occupying your mind is a must. Stay busy and don't give yourself any time to think about it. That's what works for me anyway. Even if its something as simple as video games or some other hobby. I think weed helps in moderation but if you smoke too much it'll just make you more depressed. Anyways I know its hard but I hope you are able to see that you're loved and your life is valuable even if it doesn't feel that way right now.

peyronny


Were you on any other treatments besides traction and VED? i never did traction or VED, but I know I have made it worse early on just by obsessively "checking" the scars, rubbing, feeling, etc.

Have you been diagnosed? If so what advice did they give you? How long have you had Peyronies? Do you get erections at all? I still can, as of last week  at least, but they are unusable in any sort of normal way. Right now I'm not even sure erections are possible because it's worse than ever. It's amazing how this can get worse over night in my case. For every step forward I take 10 steps back it seems. I have loose hanging skin and when I stand up a lot of that pushes on my penis so I have to be careful. I woke up in middle of night a few days ago and had to pee so got up really fast and when that happend I felt a sharp pain. Now the lump on the base is twice as big as it was.

Sorry for all the questions. Just wondering if we can find a common ground on what seems to make this worse or improve it.  Because it seems there are some of us who have basically a recurring peyronies active phase.

I'm wondering if the penis can be SO FILLED with scar tissue and plaques that it becomes sort of consistent and hard to even detect.  My entire penis is also sort of swollen a little. It's gotten fatter when flaccid, even though I've lost a lot of weight. My penis is basically swollen and some of the plaques seem to be forming together or close enough to where they aren't as noticeable.

Because of my weight and the entrapped/buried penis it can cause injuries or worsen the already present injuries just walking standing up, etc. So I'm just sort of stuck. No matter what I do it gets worse. Go to the doctor it gets worse. Exercise to improve overall health, it still gets worse. Do nothing and things will improve a few days slightly at least with pain and then something will happen to set it all off again. I've been trying to keep busy with working on MTurk (I quit my real job because pain is so bad) but it's usually only 10 bucks a day at best. I use that to cover supplements, which I do believe were helping and it would be even
MORE worse if I weren't taking. But my own obsession with it in the beginning, weight, and other complications have made this progress from a minor setback in life to absolute misery.


The timing of it also is nothing short of traumatizing. I've always had social anxiety my entire life. I always wanted a girlfriend strongly but I figured I never could because of this. Last year I met a girl online, and I began to fall in love with her. It didn't end right but it did raise my confidence at the time and made me more of a social person and made me less afraid to be myself. I'm good at meeting and talking to girls online, I've noticed this all my life. But not so much in person. But she really did help me in that regard, even after the fight we had. I learned to be more like my online "real" self in person. For the first time in my life I really felt like I could easily find someone if I just lost the weight. That's what really made me want to lose all the weight in the first place. But during all this I had a minor case of Peyronies. But then, starting around October of last year it really went to hell. And it's been steadily getting worse ever since. Around April or May I really was reaching breaking point, and STILL getting set backs 3 months later. I feel like I'm being tortured. This isn't the way it was meant to be. For the first time in my life i actually applied myself, stopped procrastinating, had clear goals, and then my life get even more screwed up.

I think there are treatments that would probably help me. Problem is getting a doctor on board because, and this is the case for just about any issue, when you are overweight they always blame it on that. And for many issues it is the cause. But when I was nearing 500 pounds I didn't have Peyronies. And I'm the thinnest I've been honestly since early highschool and yet my peyronies is worse than ever. My weight certainly contributed to the WORSENING of it definitely. He says nothing is wrong with my penis whatsoever and it's just fat tissue and a circumscision scar. I'm pretty sure I didn't get circumsized 4 months ago when that area developed..

Every single decision I make seems to be a mistake. No matter what I do, it gets worse. The only way I can prevent pain, literally is laying in bed naked, with my legs spread apart or indian style. My family thinks i'm nuts and I just lay in bed naked all day with my door locked because even wearing shorts is painful. I specifically cut a hole in the pelvic region of old shorts to avoid anything touching the area. It's literally that excruciating.

The thing is though I can deal with pain, I have a very high tolerance of it. But when it comes from your dick, it's a whole different thing. Every pain I feel it's just a constant reminder, and also the thought of "now there's even LESS chance of it functioning normally."

I'm not suicidal anymore at the moment, but I still stand by that I'm not living like this the rest of my life. If that means having to end my life, or just completely removing my dick, it has to end one way or another. I'd rather not have a dick than live in constant fear of making it worse, and yet I still somehow do. I

I also feel like I'm spamming the board because everytime I make a post I plan on writing a paragraph and end up writing a novel of the madness that is my life.  

Dared

I'm also on alcar which I highly recommend, coq10, and pentox. I saw dr brandes who is a peyronies specialist and he gave me the diagnosis. I also made it worse by prodding. When I first got peyronies I was convinced it was a lymph issue and read online that you could drain lymph by wrapping a hot blanket around your dick. Well I believe I wrapped it too tightly and cause more scars. Then I tried traction and that worked at first but then I believe I may have done not damage in the long run. Either way, the best advice I can give someone w peyronies is that this is an inflammatory disease as such the number one priority is to reduce inflammation and if you're not doing that you're likely make it worse. Also, if you have a mild case of peyronies(1 or 2 plaques) like I did at first, leave your dick alone. Trust me you will be much better off. If I just would be left everything the F~@< alone I wouldn't be in the miserable situation I am now.

peyronny



I don't know what else that can be said that can help me. But at this point, I really don't see how anything but going through with my plan (to end my life) is an option. I'm in constant torment. This has gone far beyond a sexual issue. I don't even feel like the same person anymore. It's hard to believe I felt so awful last year when I joined this forum. Because I'd do anything just to get back to that. I didn't have the flaccid pain. I could still "flex" my penis without feeling like it's ripping through scar tissue. My own worry and depression at the time, and getting rejected by someone I was in love with may have contributed to my stress at the time and constant checking. But it doesn't matter now, it's done. I'm still getting erections when sleeping. But there's no way in hell I'd consider putting it in something, or touch it at all while it's erect for that matter. And after today's events I'm not sure how long that will last.

I have an infection also on my penis that has gotten much worse. To be frank, it's becoming increasingly difficult to wash my penis. I don't know what the hell is going on with that. As gross as it may sound it's hard for me to worry about this skin issue though when the actual function of the penis isn't working properly/unusable. But even if things got under control with this, my dick is probably permanently discolored. There are white patches. The doctor gave me a cream but am unable to safely apply it without further injury. Problem is same doctor denies I have any issue at all with penis aside from said infection. This is a recent thing, I've had peyronies symptoms for 4 years so I know it's not the cause. I wash the best I can but it's just not working. I'm embarrassed to ever go to the doctor again because of how gross it is. But I'd rather have this skin issue than make the actual peyronies or whatever type of trauma it is worse than it's already getting just from basic things one needs to do to survive.. I remember every once of the injuries and it's always from some sort of pressure to the area sometimes from something as little as coughing too hard.

I'm literally debilitated from this. I'm not sure what to do about it. I try to play computer games just to get by the day, try to sleep away the rest of the time. But there's so much going on I don't even know where to begin. I don't even feel human anymore. I'd prefer to be in a coma than to live like this.

I can honestly say I'm not depressed. I've been clinically depressed from other things in life. Bullying, loss of friends, end of a (sort of) long distance relationship/unrequited love. But that was never real or official. I just get attached extremely quickly and she probably thinks I'm crazy. I don't feel sad. I've reached the tipping point and I can't feel sad anymore. But I do feel mind numbing pain. Sadness/depression isn't even close to describing what I'm going through. My thoughts are all over the place and I can't think properly anymore because of pain. When I talk in person it's just as much all over the place as my posts are here. I wasn't always like this. It's literally driving me insane.

You know that moment, you feel of utter shock during some kind of crisis. Anything from loss of family member, car accident, etc. When it's just SO BAD it doesn't even feel real? Complete disbelief, perhaps as a coping mechanism. Everything slows down and it feels like a dream for a moment because this can't possibly have actually happened. This is the constant state of my life. I'm in a constant state of that type of feeling and that's the best I can describe it. Sad is losing someone. Sad is having a bad day at work, etc. This is a literal nightmare. I'm unhappy sure, but definitely not sad or depressed. I'm just in a literal horror movie.

Just to put this in perspective. Here is a list of things I can not due without causing a flare up of pain and/or worsening of deformity:

1. Bend over. I'm not sure if it's my stomach, which has some loose skin now, or if if it's just that it's surrouded by pubic fat but I just can't bend over for anything unless I want to make things worse. Everytime I have, I regret it. If I drop something I just leave it or have someone help me later. I can't get to cabinets where pots and pans are. I can't remove my own clothes from the drier. I have to use a back scrubber to wash my lower legs.

2. Wear clothes. I do not wear pants at all anymore when in bed, or underwear. I sleep nude without a blanket even if I'm freezing, at most I'll put a blanket on my stomach and upwards. There have been times when I wake up with a blanket on. I think that's because I wake up in the middle of night and am so freezing and am in sort of a daze so don't care like sleep walking. But I never go to bed intentionally with a blanket. I avoid any public situations at all, I only go upstairs and make appearances with my family to eat, go to the bathroom, etc. I eat standing up because sitting down in any normal position is excruciating. When I am around people, anyone that may be at the house at any time, I just wear extremely lose shorts and literally walk around holding my shorts out. I stretch my shorts out so it doesn't touch my penis whatsoever when walking. If anyone who is not aware of this issue is at the house, I just stand downstairs until everyone is gone.

3. Ride in a car. Every bump in the road is excruciating. And also the sitting position.  

4. Walk. That's right. Walking pushes in on these areas. I have a lump at the base and one right at the bottom of left side of my "shaft." I put that in quotes because it really has not consistency anymore and it's hardly a shaft at all. If my legs so much as lightly rub the side of my pelvic area as I walk it pushes in on that side lump.

5. Peeing, I have to ease it out slowly. If my bladder is completely full, I prepare myself for the worst. If it's a lot of pressure it flares everything up or reopens areas that are trying to heal.

6. Standing up from bed is extremely difficult.

7. Laughing, coughing, etc. or anything that puts pressure on the abdomen area seem to worsen the injuries or cause pain flare ups. I can't even laugh to cheer up. I know I've mentioned these things before, but this has to be the worst thing of all. Despite how miserable my life has become, I consider myself to have a good sense of humor. Due to social anxiety and now THIS  don't have many in person friends. But I have a ton of internet friends and I love making them laugh. But now I literally try to avoid any situations that would cause me to laugh. Anything that moves my stomach muscles like that our coughing I avoid.

This is why I say I have the worse case or Peyronies in history. I have an extremely small penis, even before my weight issues caused it to be hidden/buried/entrapped/turtle effect. So I got many of these injuries not from rough use of masturbation, etc.
but just from going about my daily life. I don't think I have the worst case, I know I do. I've never heard of a single person mention symptoms like this. I don't now what causes Peyronies for most people. But I think it's astherclosis of my dick. I think my arteries were so clogged from poor diet and lifestyle that these injuries were inevitable at some point. But I've changed my lifestyle completely and still same issues. Atenolol for BP may have contributed.

As I've said before, my life has always sucked, by normal standards. I have a history of depression, extreme social anxiety, etc. I've never had sex and I never will. Even if my dick was completely straight the pain levels are so bad I'd just rather not flare it up. I've never even been on a date. I've lost a lot of weight, and I don't think I'm an ugly dude (in the face at least) but now even when I've met girls online and got to talking to them if it ever seems to advance to wanting a date I have to make excuses about why I can't. Because I physically can't live a normal life anymore. I was much happier when I was nearly 500 pound. I feel cheated and robbed. Before I quit my job, when I didn't have this insane flaccid pain. I told one girl I met on OKCupid about this. Idk why, I don't even know her all that much. But she seemed obsessed with me and claimed to love me, so I told her about it. It was a moment fo weakness and I shouldn't have. I wish I felt the same way, because I think it's rare when a women would accept the gravity of my situation, but I never went this far into detail. But regardless I just don't feel any sort of connection, don't share same interests or tastes, etc. She doesn't know me at all, and I'm never really my true self when just meeting someone. So maybe she's just desperate (which I can relate) but she can't possibly love me after just texting short messages to eachother. Part of me wants to say okay and make it official just because I feel so lonely. But to be honest, I don't even like her as a friend. We just don't mesh well. She's not unattractive physically so idk why she's so obsessed with someone who doesn't seem interested, and also told her upfront has a broken penis. I don't feel I've led her one and I told her I can't date anyone at the moment, as much as I want to because of my own personal issues.

Something's just gotta give. Probably not on my original date, only because I'm too afraid to, but there's gonna come a point where the pain is gong to outweigh the fear. Everyone has a breaking point, most are just never faced with that. And this can't keep on going. I have no support system besides you guys and I think you all for even listening at this point, but what I need is face to face someone who understands and will tell me what the heck is actually going on and why I am getting recurring injuries in my flaccid state, not even from intercourse or masturbation, and what I can do about it. But I have no way of getting to one of the best, and  don't want to go to a doctor who will just make it worse like the last one.

It's a constant rollercoaster of madness. I get pumped, try to make the best of it and go out walking. Anything faster than walking is completely out of the question. And then I make one wrong movie and feel a sharp pain in my dick so go inside and lay in my bed and cry the rest of the day or take sleeping pills to knock me out as long as possible.

I believe in God but I'm becoming increasingly angry and have blasphemous thoughts. I've never been a religious type. I don't go to church and most people I talk to are atheist or agnostic. But I still believe in God. Maybe I am praying wrong. When I talk to God I just talk like I do to a normal person. I pray very informally. But I have an almost constant dialogue with God, and maybe he doesn't listen because of my personal issues with religion and the Bible. But I still believe and I think that should be enough.


I woke up one night mid-erection and had to piss so I stood up and it was probably the biggest mistake I've made since acquiring this. Nothing is worse than having one of these areas right on the base. Somethng else is likley going on besides just peyronies. But they say active phase is about a 12 months or more right. I get new injuries on almost a daily basis. I'll die of natural causes before I get out of active phase.


Only other thing I can think of is having it removed entirely, which would be devestating. But at least I could advance my life in other ways because right now I'm completely unable to.


I have taken up to this "game" Second Life to past the time. Because my real life is so miserable.  

QuackAttack

Look Pey,

I know what I am about to say is going to sound pretty harsh, but you need to snap out of it. As a God-fearing Christian, I am going to say wacking yourself isn't going to solve your problems. There is only one sin you can't escape with forgiveness and that is wacking yourself because you can't ask for forgiveness once you are dead.

Now as far as your skin condition is concerned, being an avid follower of Dr. Joel Wallach, I would bet dollars to donuts that you have a sever gluten intolerance. You don't get to the weight you are speaking of without having a major problem absorbing nutrients.  If you want to solve you skin problems you need to completely avoid the gluten. So, no barley, wheat, and rye. Also, you need to completely avoid oats because the protein in oats is called gliadin and it reacts essentially the same way in the body as gluten.

You say that you aren't depressed, but there is no way somebody would think of what you are thinking without having serious psychological issues. I say this as a means of help. You need to seek some counseling because you sound like you clearly don't like yourself let alone love yourself. If you can't love yourself, there is no way you can love somebody else, nor is that attractive to somebody else. Look, the mind is an extremely powerful force, good and bad. Everybody has the ability to take control over their thoughts. Once you do that, can overcome anything. There are people that are told that they have terminal cancer and they don't accept that fate and because they use their mind as a powerful life force, they are cured of their cancer. Dr. Lorraine Day is a perfect example of this.

On the peyronies side of it, why not go through a surgical option or Xiaflex?

Regards,
Quack

peyronny

I'm 90 percent sure the infection is staph. I've had it recurring for years but it always was under control and in just one area. I think it has spread to my pelvic area.

As for diet, I've been on anti-fiammatory. It's just too little too late at this point. I'm not losing much because I don't move unless I have to and that's with great difficulty and possible further injury. Vegetables (mostly leafy greens, salads), nuts, Fruits, only fish and occasionally chicken for meat. I'm eating very little in general though because I sleep most of the time. Any time I'm awake, I'd rather be asleep. At least sometimes my dreams don't suck. I'm not saying it's 100% perfect. But I don't think  this is cause of my issues because my peyronies is worse than ever, and I don't eat anywhere near as bad as I used to. I used to literally live on fast food and soda. I hated vegetables and most fruit (and still do just make myself eat them) and have all my life. It's a complete 360 of my old ways. But if the oats are bad I'll drop those too. I was eating oatmeal with Stevia, or sometimes just plain if I have none or blueberries thrown in. When I lost the bulk of my weight I was eating Subway most days. Which I know isn't healthy just a lesser of two evils. But I'm just saying other than my weight I don't think there's much of a link because it's actually gotten worse in recent months with improved diet. I remember most these injuries, the early ones were from masturbation. But I've completely stopped that. The newer ones happen just from moving around, going to bathroom, etc. I've been offered surgery to correct the buried penis/extra skin flooding  over my penis. However, I'm a little reluctant to have anything about my penis going to surgery when the referring doc doens't event think I have any penile problems aside from excess skin and the infection.

Oats are the one thing I have been eating with carbs. I do this because it's the one thing that fills me up in the morning and I won't have cravings rest of the day. Usually right after breakfast I crash and sleep until dinner past few weeks. So I skip lunch. I'm still losing weight, just very slowly and it's not good enough. I lost 2 pounds this past week. But at that rate I won't even have a penis by the time I get to my desired weight. I know this is normal for weight loss to a degree, in the beginning it's easy to lose. I remember the days I was losing 10+ pounds a week. But I was walking for several hours a day. Now I can't really do that. It seems exercise is more effective with weight loss than diet for me at least. But my main point is my penis seemed a lot less prone to injury when I basically ate whatever I wants. My peyronies or whatever it is I have going on has all happened in the midst of my weight loss. It's worse and gets worse at a faster rate than it did before changing my diet. But these lumps I get don't appear out of no where.  It's always a result of moving a certain way which pushes on my penis. It's not like I wake up and there's a new peyronies injury. It's from trauma it seems because of my entrapped/buried penis. This is why I can't sit normally and all that. Because anything that pushes on my balls like sitting also pushes on all my scar tissue or other injuries.

For religion, I'm not sure what I even believe. I have issues with the concept of hell in itself, and if it exists I don't think it should. I don't even believe serial killers deserve to be on fire for eternity. But I do believe in God, even if I have doubts of that too sometimes. It's just hard for me to get behind someone going to hell just for wanting pain to end. Again, it's not something I'm doing now just because I'm too chicken. But just looking at the rate this has gone so far and how fast things can go south, it's the only direction I'm heading. My condititon gets worse on a daily basis. Some days the pain pills are effective to numb it so I don't think about it as much until I go to the bathroom and am reminded of how screwed up it is. But most days it's constant torment and I just take pills to sleep the day away. I still stand by that I'm not depressed. I'm miserable, but it's a completely different feeling. I've had clinical depression several times before, and it's a completely different feeling and emotion as to what I'm dealing with now.

As for surgery, my penis is like 2 inches erect. If surgery makes penis shorter, I don't know if anything will be left. Not to mention,  I can't get a doctor on board who even seems to think I have this or at least a competent one. I was diagnosed 4 years ago when urologist felt my lump. However he wasn't much help and just told me to wait and see and take Vit. E. The sexual dysfunction doctor he referred me to (after seeing him 3 times( says there is nothing wrong with my penis at all besides that infection. Which again, is new and developed after my peyronies symptoms. I basically seem to be in a never ending active phase. If Xiaflex was offered I'd take it but nobody is offering, and I'd hate to go to a doctor again just to be turned down of any treatment. The closest specialist is 2 hours away and I don't see anything on the forum about them so not sure if worth it. And every time I go to the doctor for this I end up worse than I was after they do the physical examination.

I'm told pain is never permanent with peyronies. And I believe that because my original injury from 4 years ago doesn't hurt now that I can tell. But if you are basically having recurring injuries on a weekly to daily basis it might as well be permanent because the process gets restarted.  

NeoV

I wish someone had firm answers for you. My neuropathy is getting very bad, moving up my legs now. I've had the rubbery feet, penis, and hands for a few years now and I'm convinced it's blood sugar related. I have yet to complete a quality fast or ketogenic diet but I'm quite sure it could cure or reverse it. When your pancreas is clogged with fat it cannot produce insulin resulting in high blood sugar which is toxic to nerves.

redbullmaster



I think there several things you can do, first find a new doctor your comfortable with and who's an expert in
andrology.

Second to your pain issues, look into chronic pain management.

Lots of people live with pain everyday, you need to learn how to manage it.
Look into Relaxation training, maybe even try hypnotherapy.

There's no easy answers, but what ever you do decide to do remember its final.
If you decide to have your penis amputated, wile maybe not final with recent medical trails going on with transplants at the moment.

You may end up without one for the rest of your life.
Or it could be in 10/20 years before your have a new one.
Point is there's no guarantees.

But the psychological issues your be dealing with afterwards may push you over the edge.
Also it may not solve your pain issue, if it neurological issues.

As for taking your life, by posting on here, it's a cry for help that you don't want to really die.
But I do respect you decision, its your life and no one can tell what you should do with it.

If you do go though with it please check every other option first, as how your feeling today may be different in 6 months time.

Also I know you don't feel like your getting the support from your family at the moment.
But its hard for them to know what your going though and don't take this the wrong way.
But I'm guessing your hard work to deal with on a daily basics.

I say this because of my own emotional issues, I've lost friends and have acted in a erratic ways hurting people emotionally in my life.

What your going though, not like a broken leg where in 8 weeks you fine and your back on your feet.
Its hard for people to deal with, remember your parents are people too with there own issues and anxieties.

Also because its of a sexual natural some people just can't face it.

Please remember they do still love you and anything you do will have an impact on them.

If you do take that last step please don't let your mum or dad find your body.
Leave them a nice letter explaining why you done, what you done.

But don't lash out at then, think of the impact your death will have on them and try to make it less distressing for them if you can. (if that's even possible)

I hope it doesn't come to that and you find some help for your problems.

mrg91

peyronny,hello my friend.(sorry if my english isnt good) I post this to say YOU ARE NOT ALONE,READ MY HORROR STORY: 4 years ago when i was 20 i felt anxious and embarrassment about size of my penis.it is 4.8-5 length and near 4.3 girth.i thought  to make it bigger,go to doctor and he recommend me F^@$!ng penis pump..if wanna say shortly i misused it(over pressure) and after using 5 days  i injured my penis horribly(before that i didnt have any e.d at all)
NOW; after incident JUST CAN SAY my penis become numb and lifeless and darker(cause under skin bleeding)..if i wanna be serious I DONT FEEL MY PENIS AT ALL,IT SEEMS I HAVE NO PENIS..WHEN TOUCH IT SEEMS I TOUCH MY ARM,NO ARROUSAL NERVE AT ALL..this is like horror movies,NOBOBY NEVER AND NEVER dont know what i say,it f'~c<+d up all of aspect of my life,i mean social relationship,love relationship,sexual desire,concentration on everything(music,feeling good of weather,playing or seeing sports,appetite,goal of my life,good dream and wish and etc)..till year ago i thought dead is better than this F^@$!ng life and didnt know what can i do.at last i search and found penis reconstruction or (phalloplasty)... i dont know how bad is your problem but for me it is the last choice,i even cant feel my penis(like i have nothing) ,and i make a decision to go for this surgery,,i dont know about your situation but  I THINK YOUR PROBLEM ISNT WORSE THAN ME and you can think about somthing like that or just penile implant..about your pain you can go to expert andrologist  and tell that you have sever pain,i think surely there should be a solution to relief your pain. hope you get better and pass this problem.

peyronny

Okay, wanted to show an update of my current defomity. Pain is somewhat improved, though is much worse after having erections. I have been masturbating about once every 4 weeks at most. I've still been on another of supplements and Pentox:

Pentox
Co Q10
Alcar
Vitamin-E
Grape Seed Extract
Bromelain
Turmeric
L-arginine
Magnesium


Basically, I'm curious how bad this is. I know it feels awful and pain is constant to various degrees but most the curbes i seen are upward or downward THere's also the factor of my size, weight, and penis. But is this even usable? Should I try traction even when I have severe pain? And how is it possible with my size? Keep in mind I'm laying in bed so flipping it would be a more clear indication of me standing up.  

Pfract

Well.... given the amount of body fat you still have... if you manage to loose it all, or a good amount, your penis will definitely show more, so i would try if it was me to do everything possible to loose weight and push through the pain at all cost.

Second i don't know if your penis is flacid or erect but i presume flaccid state in the picture. I guess that you should be doing traction on a daily basis if you can manage that. You have nothing to loose, and everything to gain from that.

Also... what is your plan on this? the consultation to the urologist...? doing someting.....?

update us please!

QuackAttack

Pey,

You have some hard choices to make. If you want to lose the weight, you have got to get off the GLUTEN AND GLADIN containing grains, which include: Barley, Wheat, Rye, Spelt, and Oats. These grains have been shown to cause intestinal malabsorbtion issues. Nobody gets to your weight without having a gluten intolerance. Get onto YouTube and look up Dr. Joel Wallach as it relates to obesity and gluten intolerance. At your weight, there is a possibility that you could have Celiac which is very common in obese people. If you follow Dr. Wallach's protocols and supplement properly you will lose the weight. The fact that you are obese isn't your fault, you have a medical problem; however, once you arm yourself with the knowledge, losing or not losing the weight is completely on you. It's your choice, you can complain and continue to complain or you can take control of your situation. If you have the will, there is a way to solve the problem. The record weight loss following Dr. Wallach's protocols is 250 LB in 7 months and that person has not gained the weight back in more than 3 years. If you want to get serious about the weight loss, you can PM me and I'll walk you through solving your nutritional deficiency problems.

peyronny

This is erect. The thing is you literally wouldn't see anything but pubic hair most likely if I was flaccid. I got the erection just to take the photo. Even if I somehow get this under control enough to where I can live a normal life, I'm going to have to find a very unshallow woman, but I'll have strap ons or whatever I need to make it work. Basically, I have no plan other than taking Pentox and supplements and trying to avoid further injury. The weight thing is something I'm still working on just not going as fast as I would've liked. I work a lot on the computer to make the little amount of money I have to afford the supplements. I even asked for supplements for my birthday it's so hard to keep track and I don't want to drop anything because at least they're helping me get erections.

What concerns me is even when I do reach my weight goal, (260 aiming for 190-200 or better) is I'll still be stuck with what appears to be an unusable penis. My motivation to lose weight in the first place was to get a better social life, girlfriend, etc. If I still can't have sex, or at least enjoy a sex-free relationship without penile pain, I have no motivation. My overall health doesn't concern me as much as my penile health, because frankly I want to die. I avoid contact whatsoever with my penis, even underwear and blankets. So I couldn't even foresee cuddling in bed let alone intercourse.

That doesn't mean I'm not working on it. I'm still on anti-inflammatory diet. Money is an issue though, and sometimes have to make do with what is available. But only for the little bit of hope I have left of living a normal life. If I have to live like this forever, it would suck regardless of what my overall health/weight is.


I want to do traction, but my penis is hidden completely without an erection. It's like a little stub. Micropenis or at least borderline. I wish there was a way to safely do traction erect, but doesn't seem like a good idea.


Pain seems decreased with an erection, until I lose it. As soon as it dies it's excruciating. I was trying to get daily erections (just not using them) but maybe that's not even right thing to do.


It is totally my fault I'm fat. I lived an awful lifestyle most of my life. I could make the case culture is part of it, but at the end of the day nobody forced me to eat the way I did. I used to be well over 400, and that's because I ate fast food and pizza all the time. I have to be honest with myself. Now I'm eating better than most people, and definitely better than my family and those around me. But I'm making up for the other 26 years of eating whatever I felt like.


The evolution of my diet is this:

First 20-23 years of my life basically eating what I want. Unless mom forced diet on me at times. I lost 30-40 pounds the Summer before my senior year of highschool. Still ate what I want. Strictly through moving more and calorie counting. Gained it all back after graduating.

A year or two ago I started being somewhat more sensible but still terrible diet over all. Started opting for Subway over the other fast food joints. My work schedule didn't help, getting off late and not wanting to prepare late meals. But really I was just addicted to fast food.

Last Summer I started exercising more actively eating salads more. Still ate junk at times as well. Largely motivated from girlfriend at time, who didn't complain about weight but wanted to look better.

Only since I've joined this forum though have I really got strict with it. But I'm losing less because I cant exercise as fast as I was before. And when you're 400+ it sheds off a lot easier anyways. Removing sugar and carbs is just a recent thing I've tried past few months though since starting anti-inflammatory. I've seen a slight reduction in pain on good days, and I'm not sure if that's from the diet or just natural progression. But either way trying to keep inflammation down as much as possible.

QuackAttack

Pey,

Subway is not health food, regardless of what JARED did. Subway meat is filled with Nitrates and Nitrites, both of which are inflammatory. Compound that with the gluten from the bread and you are't going to lose anything. You have to stop making excuses and just power through it. If you have an excuse for everything, you won't get to where you need. Have you watched Dr. Wallach on YouTube. That won't cost you anything.

peyronny

You're misunderstanding, I haven't eaten Subway or fast food in a while. I'm saying I went from eating complete junk, to Subway to currently anti-inflammatory. I have given up eating for fun. I grew up on a traditionally Southern diet. I'll proabliy never like the foods I am eating. BUt I still force it down. I was eating that though during the bulk of my weight loss, but I was able to do much more physically because my peyronies was stable. My point is right now, other than oatmeal there's not much more I can reduce in terms of carbs. I do not think my lack of current weight loss has to do with my diet, but decreased physical activity. I still walk but not in the same brisk pace I did when I was heavily losing weight. I try doing arm exercises, but I'm limited in what I can do. I'm not saying SUbway is good, I'm saying it's less bad that what I was eating previously. Last time I got a Sub was probably 6 months ago, but I was losing weight more then because was symptoms were less extreme and had a more positive outlook in general. IF it weren't for these issues I would be doing much more, and I'd rather not flair up pain because I've made small improvements in that regard by just taking supplements and trying to not touch it at all. By touch I mean anything from direct contact, to something as simple as my leg rubbing against it.

I'm on fruits, veggies, nuts, fish, chicken (occasionally). I haven't been eating carbs or sugar aside from Oatmeal in the morning. I add blueberries sometimes, or stevia. But no added sugar. I don't see a connection between my peyronies and weight, other than the complication of having it buried. Reason being is my peyronies has gotten much worse in the past year. A year ago I was 80 pounds more than I am now, and I didn't have flaccid pain and no major curve. I'm not saying didn't contribute due to other factors making it more prone to injury. Like I said, I cheated for my birthday, but I've been following this. Part of the issue may be I eat too late, as opposed to normal times. Also, we are on food stamps so I'm limited in the amounts of these things I can get. I could maybe use more variety because I do basically eat the same fruits and veggies over and over every week. But I have no income and am relying on what is available.

The things that flare up pain for me are unbelievable. I've had a cold past few days and simply sneezing hard sets things off for days. So you can understand the difficult in just trying to get by day to day trying not to make this even more worse.


I will reach my weightloss goal, even if it takes me much longer than I had hoped. That I know I can do, because I have much less to go than I have already covered. But I do not know that my quality of life will be any better, because so far I was happier 2 years ago when I was almost 500 pounds.  

NeoV

Indeed peyronny is doing good with his diet now, if not great. The connection between weight and Peyronie's has more to do with your blood sugar and diabetes than being overweight itself, though being overweight does make diabetes worse, since your pancreas will be clogged with fat and unable to produce insulin. The connection is very very strong then, to being overweight as well as your diet.

It may take some time before peyronny sees or feels a difference, but anti-inflammatory is the way to go for sure.

It seems like the biggest issue now is the infection, which his current doctor ignores. A different urologist or doc seems like the only real choice, even if one is pretty far away.

Tough times... there's nothing like having an infection or having penile deformity worsening and nobody able to even listen to you. I know it can get better, but now is probably the worst it can be, be patient. : ( You're doing the right thing with your diet.

Paolo

NeoV/peyronny, a natural for reducing blood sugar is lemon.

Lemon juice is acidic, and it slows how quickly your stomach empties food so your body takes longer to break apart sugar molecules, causing a steadier rise in blood sugar levels. I take it every morning in warm water and add pink Himalayan salt 1-2G

Wishing you both the best  :)
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

Pfract

Hey peyronie: at least you don't try to lie saying the fault is not yours for being fat. That's good, but now try to change that. Why don't you go outside of your place and jog? Or walk? Just do something dude!
Also, you can use the ''penimaster pro'' on your penis even flaccid. You just have to catch the glans with the suction cup and then youre good.

Also, you said you were going to the urologist for a consultation. What happened, did you chickened out?


peyronny

The consultation was to remove some skin to "unbury' my penis. As far as I know this is mostly for cosmetic reasons in most cases, but since it seems to irritate the pain having the extra fat in the area is why I want to do. He doesn't even believe I have peyronies though. I'm worried to do anything surgical in that area when we're not even on same page. I was told though I'd need to have the surgery to unbury even after losing weight because generally it still remains that way even after the weightloss. I've had this basically most my life, and it didn't bother me much before when i didnt have peyronies along with whatever could be causing pain. Obviously I didn't like it but it wasn't like women were seeing it anyways so just lived with it.

Once I reach the weightloss goal (I'm shooting for around 190 or less) I'm going to have to have some skin removed from my legs and stomach anyways. I've been debating rather the procedure is worth it though when they arne't on same page about me even having peyronies.


Will Lemon Juice work as well? I've been adding a little bit lemon juice to my green tea sometimes.
I've been considering dropping to just one meal a day to speed up weightloss

Paolo

Peyronny, I find that having taken lemon juice it cuts my appetite almost immediately, also an alkaline body can fight off infections and reduce inflammation.
I sometimes take it with ginger root liquid extract just for a bit of variety.

Regarding weight loss, lemon juice helps to suppress your appetite and aids digestion and contains citric acid, calcium, magnesium, vitamin C, bioflavonoids, pectin, and limonene–that promote immunity and fight infection.

You seem to be in a good state of mind and I wish you all the best  :)
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

kuaka

The thing about weight loss and calories is this...

If you cut your caloric intake too far, your body will go into starvation survival mode and your overall metabolism will grind to a halt.

The way to avoid that is to not restrict your calories from non-carbohydrate sources.  A balanced diet is for a balanced body.  I look at weight loss dieting like foundation repair.  You only jack up the sinking portion of the foundation.  If you jack up the whole house evenly...balanced...you don't actually fix the problem.

Also, the relative efficiency of the conversion of calories eaten to blood sugar depends on the calorie source.  As a general rule, simple carbs like rice and potatoes are converted at 100% efficiency.  Proteins at about 60%.  Fats (naturally saturated and naturally mono/poly unsaturated...NEVER eat hydrogenated ANYTHING) are only at about 11% efficiency.

This is a generalization.  All generalizations are dangerous...including <---.

At any rate, if you can work first on overall health, then specifically on penile health, I believe you have the highest probability of success.  It is a marathon though, not a sprint.

Never give up.

c90danwaiel

Hi,
     I followed your posts a while back when I got a diagnosis of P.D., and just thought about you today. I'm glad to see you're still around and are hanging on.

I ended up with a false diagnosis of Peyronie's, and was falsely diagnosed with a few more disorders (prostatitis, then chronic pelvic pain syndrome, then pudendal nerve entrapment). I haven't really been back to this forum in a while. Thankfully, I've found something that worked for the severe pain I had in my penis and I'm doing about 70-80% better now. My life has gone from hell to back to normal in just a few weeks.

You've tried a lot of things, and have been through a hell of a lot. I wanted to maybe offer one suggestion of something to consider.

Let me start off by saying, I have no doubt at all that you have a physical condition. Peyronie's is real. What I've had is different.

In my case, I actually didn't have anything physically wrong with me. All my tests came back clear, but what sparked off my pain was a false positive on an STD test. I started noticing some minor (but still very worrying) pain in my penis, and then I got extremely worried about the pain, and the pain began to amplify. Needless to say, penis pain is hard not to get distressed about. At first, I thought I had herpes, then a rare antibiotic-resistant form of an STD found mostly in Sweden, then urethral cancer - my life centered around my pain and was full of distress over not having an explanation for it.

I eventually found out about something called mind-body disorder (also known as TMS), where stress and emotions can bring on pain in certain susceptible individuals - that's very real pain too (in my case, pain strong enough to send me to the ER and spend several thousands of dollars trying to fix over the past four months). Through a combination of lifestyle modifications (doing normal activities, exercise, eating well, meditation) and shifting my focus away from my pain, I've had great success at ramping down my pain.

What I wonder is if in your case, could your distress about your condition have amplified the pain that does come along with Peyronie's? You seem to have much more pain that many other people with Peyronie's have.

There's been quite a lot of research on the effect of emotions on pain. Worry and stress activate a part of your brain called the anterior cingulate cortex, which can significantly increase your sensitivity to pain. I've begun to realize that pain isn't just the nerves in the area that hurt, but has to do with your brain's interpretation of those pain signals. Your brain can learn pain in the absence of pain signals from your body, just like folks with phantom limb syndrome, who have pain in limbs they've lost. It can also amplify those responses, so even a minute scratch can feel horribly painful if your body thinks its something threatening (there's a great TED talk on google about this). Your brain can also develop odd conditioned responses, so certain, often unusual triggers can cause your brain to bring on or amplify the pain.

For people with mind-body syndrome, their pain can even spread and sometimes parts of their body can become hyper-sensitive/painful to the touch or numb - especially for folks with pelvic pain, who sometimes report spreading sensitivity in and around their genitals and/or sometimes numbness.

Again, I don't think you have Mind-body syndrome. If I had Peyronie's and someone told me that there was nothing physically wrong with them, I'd probably want to punch them. But I wonder if the same factors of anxiety/stress/negative emotions could have ramped up your pain levels so high compared to most men with Peyronie's?

Anyway, I just wanted to put that out there for you to consider. If you're curious about learning more, I could guide you to some resources that have helped me. If not, thanks for reading this far and I really wish you all the best, and I hope you can find some relief soon.


peyronny

Sorry I missed that most recent post.

I'm sure my stress can make it worse but I don't think it's the main cause. The pain causes me stress, which surely makes it worse. But it's clearly impacted by any sort of touch in the areas of the lumps, or sometimes even things such as coughing too hard, sneezing, etc. I know this seems weird, it's just my experience. Anything that puts pressure on my stomach that also puts pressure on my gut is painful and seems to make things worse. I literally try to stifle my own laughs because it can be painful in my dick. When I get these sharp pangs of pain during these episodes I usually go inspect my flaccid penis and the lumps actually look larger, similar to after masturbating (when I still was) But I can be extremely stressed out and feel almost no pain (compared to usual) and vice versa. Everything I do though I'm extremely careful to not aggravate it or I'll be in even more intense pain for days if not weeks/months. Erections aren't always painful, but the worst is when my erection deflates. It seems to take hours to go back to completely flaccid and if I have to pee it's really difficult. I get recurring numbness that always freaks me out for a few days but eventually returns. I think this is scar tissue pressing on the nerves. Sometimes i get this extreme itching sensation in the area of plaques that feels like a nerve. Areas of my feet are almost completely numb. If I'm on my feet for a long period of time I will sometimes feel a sharp stabbing pain followed by numbness and/or a swollen feeling. It almost feels like Peyronies in my feet. Maybe it's a nerve issue in my Dick as well, but the lumpy texture and curve wasn't there previously. First I thought could be ledderhose but this is mostly in my toes.

The whole thing is kind of confusing to me so I can't even imagine how it is for someone reading my posts from the outside. It's a constant battle of "oh I think it's getting a little bit better" to "oh crap now it's worse than it was before" every few weeks or more.


I was diagnosed with peyronies 4 years ago though when the urologist inspected a small lump at the time. He basically did nothing  and unfortunately I didn't know all the supplements and alternate stuff at the time, which have helped with getting erections. I can get erections easier than I did in highschool now honestly. Just can't do much with it and it's always looks like a swollen blob the last several weeks. It's getting shorter and fatter. My girth to me appears larger but not in a good way. Just like a swollen lump.  The lumps are clear in flaccid state when I pull it out to pee.

Anyways, I've been trying too much not to think about it other than in terms of what I can actually change. But I think I probably had early signs of this way before I even knew. I had ED, circulation and numbness issues before I even knew what Peyronies was. I think this, along with Atenolol and masturbating without solid erections is what led to the initial injury. Despite my weight my GP won't take this seriously that I could have some sort of heart condition. Sometime prior to this issue I was in the ER for chest pain and tightness, which they were treating as an asthma attack. However it didn't feel pulmonary at all to me. This tightness didn't go away for years and would come back time to time on exertion. I'm honestly not convinced I didn't have a heart attack or some other heart related issue that night but they were dead set on it being asthma. I've had asthma attacks before, this felt different. I actually initially went in because I had overdosed on my Albuterol which can cause heart issues, but they ignored that basically and gave me more albuterol.

I went to my GP this past Wednesday to get a Pentox refill, he wouldn't let me do it by phone this time because I haven't been in so long. I was looking to see if due to weightloss if my BP had decreased enough to stop taking some of the BP pills. He said I can quit taking the Atenolol, which I had already stopped taking anyways because it can cause Peyronies. He said my BP is still pretty high though so still take the Losartanz-HCTZ and Amdolpine. My weight was 260, kind of disappointing considering how much I've been walking. But my last visit, December of 2015 I was 326. I'm losing just wish I could speed it up. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever be able to get off of them because I haven't been eating anything bad aside from Thanksgiving which was after that visit.

I've still been taking all the same supplements basically. The issue is though because of lack of money I have to sort of do them in cycles. There are long gaps where I'll be off of something, and idk if that makes them uneffective or not. My only income has been Amazon Mechanical Turk, which is easy and a nice way to earn some extra cash but on a good day it's like 5 or 6 bucks. Most I've ever made was $14 in a day and that was working around the clock. It's pretty pathetic wages but it's better than laying around in bed doing nothing and when I take breaks I make sure I'm at least moving.

But I was gonna get your guys opinions on this.

I've been trying to do this Anti-Inflammatory thing still. Basically veggies,fruit, nuts/seeds, fish, herbs, etc. As little meat and carbs as possible and no added sugar at all.

I've recently run out of Carnitine and didn't have enough to get anymore so looked up how to get it naturally from food. From what I've read it's mostly in Meat and Dairy. So should I incorporate meat and dairy again until I can afford it or is the inflammation not worth the Carnitine? I've been avoiding both of these like the plague except on rare occasions, been using Almond Milk over real milk. Sometimes it's hard to know if the benefits outweigh the risk. I'm on B12 supplements so I should be good there. But I also see stuff about Carnitine leading to heart disease, so just not sure.