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Author Topic: Is life living without sex?  (Read 5942 times)

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Thisismyusername

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Is life living without sex?
« on: March 14, 2016, 01:15:43 PM »

Since this condition started I feel like all I've been doing is surviving.  I've had significant chronic pain.  My relationship failed.  My ex doesn't want anything to do with me and blames me for everything.  I can't see myself having a relationship like this.  I'm so profoundly lonely and I don't know what to do about it. 

How do I find meaning in life?  My work gives me some meaning but when you are in pain nothing every day is difficult and life is so much less rewarding.  I don't find the motivation to pursue women because I know I can't have sex, and I don't see how a relationship can work without that.  So all I'm doing is taking it one day at a time, and the progress is so slow.  I'm getting older and my life is not going at all how I wanted it to.

I find various ways of coping and it helps for a while but I always find myself returning to this place of feeling hopeless and that everything isn't ok.  I'll find ways to enjoy myself and reasons to live but after a while that will fade and here I am again, thinking I'd be better off dead.  I've tried seeing a number of therapists and none have been too helpful.  I can't exercise right now because of pain.  I try to focus on work and I can sometimes, but the pain makes it hard.  There isn't really anything I can do directly to improve my health.  I'm limited in what activities I can do each day because of my pain. 

I can't get over how much it seems like my ex detests me.  I developed this condition having sex with her and she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, like she just discarded me.  Her intentions were good, she tried to stay with me, but it wasn't working.  She never really understood my suffering and face it, she is better without me in her life.  She can fix her problems by forgetting about me, I am trapped in this body nomatter what. 
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Jimbruski

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2016, 11:37:23 PM »

Thisismyusername,

Several things that you wrote are simply not true.  They may seem real to you and that's important also, nonetheless, they are not true. 

But first why not go into a bit more detail about the chronic pain.  Where is the pain? Describe it. Are you addressing the pain in any way?

Once we understand what pain you are having and establish some ways to address it,  then we can progress through your other issues, but first get yourself well physically.

Jimbruski
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QuackAttack

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2016, 09:52:22 PM »

This,

I see a couple of thing going on here. Objectively, here is what I have to say. First, if your ex is so shallow that she would leave you because of Peyronies, which she had a hand in, that is not the kind of person you want to be with. My goodness, that is the kind of person that you would have to sleep with one eye open. Could you imagine how she would react if you were faced with a truly life-threatening condition or you lost the use of your limbs she would discard you like used toilet paper too. As difficult as it is to accept, you are much better off without her.

Second, I get the mental fatigue that this condition has on the male ego. I have had my moments as most of us in the forum have. With that said, if you expressed yourself to your ex the way you are talking on the forum, that may have been what drove her away and not the Peyronies. As much as the social controllers want to say women want men that are in touch with their emotions and vulnerable, the fact of the matter is, a real woman wants a man to be strong and if a women sees a man as weak or fearful, they run away.

Rather than let this condition get you into such a stupor that you can't function, get pi$$ed off, channel your emotions into aggression against your enemy, Peyronies and beat this.

OUT!!!!!!
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Thisismyusername

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2016, 11:36:21 PM »

I absolutely drove her away.  I'm not strong enough to handle this.  Nobody will want to be with me like this and I don't know how I can recover.  Life was good until this happened but now everything is ruined.  I have so much resentment and anger at the world and people.  I can't stand it.  I've tried multiple therapists and nobody helped.  I actually resent them too for being useless and wasting my time and causing me even more stress.  And I resent doctors for being useless and for being assholes.  If I had my health I wouldn't have to deal with those idiots.  When you are strong life is good and people respect you and treat you well, but as soon as you have a weakness nobody cares about you anymore.  Nobody wants to be around you.  I can't help it if I am in too much pain to do many of the things I want to in life.  How is it possible that I can be psychologically healthy like this?  I honestly wish I was never born.  Life is just suffering and brief distractions from suffering.  I don't see myself dating again.  I go on this website to complain and vent and I'm just being a useless a$$hole too.  It's been 3 years now and life has been miserable ever since this happened. 
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Stabler67

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2016, 02:04:07 PM »

ok,

Lets take a deep breath here,

every single male member of this forum knows how hard this disease is on a man, they have been depressed and in pain and Im sure at some point they have felt like they will not be able to find a relationship, but they have leaned on each other and used each other to get past those points. I dont see you doing that.

I feel for you, I cant imagine how hard it might be for you to try and go through this on your on like you are trying to do, but YOU DONT HAVE TO. We are all here to help and as I can see the members of this forum have been reaching out to you offering advice and encouragement and you keep knocking it down as if they are trying to harm you or as if they have no clue as to what you are going through.

This is not the first time you have posted about the ex girlfriend, you need to let that go, its over. the more you hang on to that the more it causes you to stay in this depressed state, and in your frame of mind I think it is best that you not seek a new girlfriend now, that is not going to fix things for you. Peyronies is going to be the last thing that a woman will find unattractive about you with all of your anger at the world (your words)

In my unprofessional opinion if the doctors and therapists have been unable to help you then you have not been ready to accept their help, you have to be a willing participant in that process.

We are all here to help, we are all here to listen either publically on the boards or privately by PM why not try letting us and be open to what we have to say.

Stabler67
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Jimbruski

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2016, 02:14:04 PM »

This,

I agree with Stabler67.  Slow your mind.  You have many issues going on but let's tackle them one at a time.  There are some brilliant minds on this forum.  Let them help you.

Jimbruski
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NeoV

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2016, 11:41:39 PM »

This is a tough one.

I still don't know the answer to your question, and I don't mean the literal question but the question you're posing underneath all of this. Obviously life is living without sex. The real question is why we hurt, if our pain has any real justification, and once that is established, is there actually a way to mentally have the whole thing "solved" or not.

I think I clearly see why I am hurting and in pain regarding Peyronie's, and you probably do too, but it can easily get confused in my mind, and I think I'm not alone in this. It can be hard to tell if the pain is a real response to a real rejection from women, or if it's simply coming from us and our own rejecting of ourselves. As cliché as this sounds, there is a huge amount of truth to it, but it's a hard one to actually feel and accept, since the pain is very much lodged in our primal mind.

I'll do a mind experiment.

Start by being very honest about what hurts you the most. What the $%&' is it?
For me, it's the thought of having the girl I wanted most being "#$%&ed" by another guy with a "perfect penis," and having it look pornographic, and having her feel the way I always felt when I watched porn, basically high, and in a mode of exalting the other person's body.

Interestingly, now that I think about it, it isn't being rejected that hurts exactly is it, what is painful is not being the one who can make the girl feel that way, while someone else can. This is because I valued that sexual perfection in porn so much that now I can't imagine living without being it for someone. There is nothing wrong with this.

But it brings me to some important considerations.

1:Not many men can make the girl feel as high as she or we would when watching porn, and they never will, most likely, even if their penises are "perfect," which is unlikely. Taking it a step further, most men are too depressed and lack any positive energy to make this even remotely possible. Yes, some women go out to clubs, find the stud, and go have fun, but I am just pointing out that it is not just that simple. that "stud" is not who you think it is, he is not perfect nor is he always actually there for most women.

2:If I am honest with myself, that sexually "perfect" woman I adored and exalted in my mind since I was just a kid, turned out to be the girl next door, the girl working at McDonald's, the girl in the heels, the girl walking outside my place right now, and so on and so on. in fact, so many girls ended up personifying that "perfection," that I can't seem to get enough of them. That sexual high I apparently value so much, can be given to me by any one of millions of girls, and none of them are "perfect." So what that means is that there is no damn reason, that I cannot be the one to make her sexually "high".  This leads me to believe that somewhere in my mind I have mistakenly imagined that for me to be the "sexual pleaser role", there was only one variation for me to be, and any deviation was fatal. This is wrong.

3:Highly sexual girls are often bisexual. If you have experience with hot girls, or girls who like porn and masturbation, many of them like women's bodies more than men's. One girl who had no concept of being bisexual, told me her favorite pornography shots, and they were all focused on the girl and she laughed. She came to the conclusion that the best shots in porn were a hot girl (or two), and a penis somewhere in the picture to make it make sense. The thing is, the penis is basically a key to sexuality, which is actually about the female body. A girl can be pleased with any kind of damn "key," even if it's not a real penis and just a dildo or an implant. I am reminded that I should be thankful I at least have a penis that can ejaculate! How many guys can make a girl feel sexual? It's not easy, it takes courage! How many guys take a girl home, strip her naked, and have her pose for you or in front of a mirror before giving her oral sex, all the while maintaining a positive mind set? Very very very few, practically none. And I am not even suggesting you or I do this. If we just tried to do this, and made it half way to success, she would probably be turned on more than any guy she has ever been with or ever will be with in her life. It's funny too, because whenever a girl was satisfied with my penis, I always rejected her. My wife too, will say things like "that was so good, don't you think so?" and in my mind I'm thinking "how could it be good enough?", but this too is flawed, and proves that it is literally my battle alone, and has nothing to do with the girl I am with.

I spent a lot of years thinking certain girls had "perfect" bodies, and I still tend to lean in that direction, but it's slipping away a bit, which I'm thankful for. I pushed myself a bit, as you know, to sleep with attractive women and eventually the whole "perfect" concept just started to fall off.

Funny thing is, it actually has left me depressed in a way, since now that exalted thing I wanted since I was probably 6 years old, is gone. Now what the hell do I do?

This is the reality of life in this society and partly as a human.

Our whole damn capitalist society is based on the need for sex, or rather to feel worthy of sex. It's the reasons why we have skyscrapers, smartphones, and all this crap, because some fat CEO, or old ugly emperor from years back, can feel like he can finally have sex and have it mean something, and sex of course, is disguised as "love" to make the whole system make sense to the masses. Sick and pathetic.

You do not need money for "love," to have pornographic sex, and you do not need a perfect body or face for it either. You need to be a source of positivity and you must be expressive.

Just as I am, and most guys are, attracted and feel sexually amazing with a variety of girls, perfect or not, so do women. Women want to feel good with you Peyronie's or not.

You may be saying to yourself, "I just can't be happy," or "I just can't be happy with Peyronie's," but I urge you (talking to myself here too) to stop and ask yourself what exactly you would need to feel happy? In my case, it would be a pornographic sex act with my "perfect" penis and a beautiful girl. Now ask yourself, how much does this image change in the girl's mind if my penis remains the way it is now. How much does it really change? really? Usually it will mean much less to her, than to you, and the biggest loss would be your dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

Peyronie's, your mood, and your physical pain from Peyronie's, must be separated in your mind. You have to work on each issue separately. Sex has to be reprogrammed in your mind not as something you are taking from the girl, but something you are expressing, and helping her express. You have to be a brick wall of positive will and sexual acceptance, of both you, and her flaws.

Forget your dick, focus on lifting weights, whitening your teeth, improving your skin, wearing nice clothes, and most importantly, improving your psychological well-being and attitude. Our whole focus is simply a mistake, and we are the only ones who are so blinded by it, as women shrug at us, and move on to sleep with other more positive men.

nowhereman

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #7 on: April 16, 2016, 02:09:14 PM »

People that are replying are not understanding the situation ThisismyUsername is different to that of most of the people on this forum. He is the only person who's symptoms identify very closely with mine and it all started for us at the same time about 3 years ago. Most on this forum are not in debilitating chronic pain for 3 years that totally takes away any chance to just do everyday things.
Just walking around hurt, can't wear jeans it hurts, just the seams of boxers touching the injured spot hurts, moving or touching your dick in any way hurts. Sit down to urinate because you can't shake it, that hurts. At all times you are in extreme anxiety that you will injure yourself again just by something coming in contact with you. Which happened to Thisismyusername when some kid headbutted him in the crotch and made all his symptoms bad again. All this on top of fearing having erections because that hurts a lot and flares things up. I just started lightly masturbating again after 3 years. This is all ON TOP of feeling inadequate because you can't have sex. And when people say it's alright you can still be with a woman.....It doesn't work like that in this situation because any contact whatsoever reinjure and flare things up again....I'm telling you this is ten times worse than just feeling inadequate. When my pain was bad, I thought about killing myself all day every day. Now that the pain is much less I never think like that, and am in a far better mood even though I still can't be with women, physically. And I want nothing more than sex with women.
Another thing, when Stabler (and I know you have good intentions) said:
 "if the doctors and therapists have been unable to help you then you have not been ready to accept their help, you have to be a willing participant in that process."

I found this to be an EXTREMELY condescending, detestable and frankly uninformed remark. To think a person in this situation would not be "a willing participant in the process of getting out of this horrible situation", is beyond ridiculous......Let me tell you, and almost anyone who has had bad health problems can attest to: There are some good doctors out there, but a large percentage of doctors are utter crap, egomaniacs.
That being said, the only way out of this is to keep seeking the best of the best doctors, until one takes you seriously and helps. This can take years. I can't say I've taken my own advice my entire journey, because dealing with some of the doctors you have to see is utterly exhausting, when they make you feel like a pile of crap. But that is the price you have to pay for freedom I guess. Still less than William Wallace paid. :o
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Stabler67

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2016, 08:21:25 AM »

Nowhereman,

I'm sorry you feel that way about my comment, but I have to stick by it, and wasn't said with a condescending tone.

Stabler67
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goodluck

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2016, 12:48:31 PM »

I wish you and every one the best.   I don't know what to say other than you are better off with out a shallow woman like that.  If she still is angry at you that only hurts her.  You can't worry about what others may think of you.

Also,  your anger at the medical establishment is common and not with out substance.
You are not alone.

Good Luck
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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #10 on: April 18, 2016, 02:32:53 AM »

Docs and therapists haven't been able to help me either. It's not that I don't want then to help me.. it's just that they can't help me. I honestly feel that it's very natural to feel dead inside when your manhood and ability to breed is so strongly affected and even with theraphy you'll either accept yourself as a lesser male or dont accept yourself at all.. the first option really isn't a satisfying option..
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Perspex

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #11 on: April 18, 2016, 12:11:09 PM »


This whole discourse lights up what is most important. Its our state of mind. If we see the world as hopeless and disgusting... then that is all we can experience. If we are able to flip that and focus on the good things and have gratitude (eg for our family, sitting in the sun, laughing with someone, sharing our feelings) then our reality becomes perceived that way... positive. If our reality is positive then it is enjoyable to live it.

If we enjoy our reality and live that way, then everyone we encounter will be effected by it.

Of course that way of seeing the world fluctuates. It's hard to keep it constant, but it is a reality. If I feel like the world is waste of time... it will be. If I think that I'm lucky to be here, then I feel lucky to be here. Its just a case of retraining the automatic thoughts. Writing the story from a different perspective

nostalgically life seemed so full of light and fun before I went through puberty, before I became so influenced by sexuality. So clearly there is a possibility of a beautiful life without sex.

I really hope that this condition will help me to see that I am able to enjoy a life outside the confines of our biological drive to reproduce. We have evolved this consciousness to be able to observe these drives and not become overwhelmed by them.

When I walk in the mountains and feel the wind in my face and feel that open aliveness... I don't think that is about sex....



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james1947

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2016, 02:28:39 PM »

nowhereman

Your outburst on Stabler is much a personal attack!!!
She just wanted to help, not to offend somebody.
And you are not the only one that suffers on this forum.
Proposing you to read the forum to understand that!!!
If I was a moderator, you was getting a warning!!!


James
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csm101

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2016, 09:09:10 PM »

people please relax and calm down a bit. The thread is getting very personal. remember the thread is about a member having a very hard time right now. we all want to help we all hate this condition lets re-focus on helping  :)

Peace ....
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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2016, 03:53:57 AM »

I get what your saying perspex, but we ARE mammels and driven by our instincts. Sure.. we have a mind of our own and we can choose to act on our instincts or not, but eventually the body just wants what it wants. I enjoy the parts of life I can participate in, but there is SOMETHING missing. And the negativity flares up from something like holding your penis while peeing and realising how cold little and numb it is to realising that that cute chick you just net might be interested, but you wont be able to do things so whatever..
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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2016, 03:58:28 AM »

Also perspex, the reason you werent influenced by sex before puberty (in my case its not even true I humped matresses at 6 years old). But hormones RULE our brain. You cant just CHOOSE what your body wants and give it whatever YOU want it to enjoy. The reason sex sells and we all love it so much is because it's a basic instinct and our hormones lead us to it. No matter what you do, you'll never fullfill this instinct and it WILL keep hurting, unless maybe if you like remove your testicles or something.
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nowhereman

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2016, 11:57:16 AM »

James, I admittedly may have been a bit harsh. But my comment wasn't an "attack" on anyone, I even made that very clear before I made the remark, if you read it. The problem I had was with the comment, and the poster (who I'm happy is a part of the forum) understood this. So I don't think any "warning" is in order. If there is go find a moderator.

You have peyronie's disease (or any other almost ineradicable health issue) and have not been satisfactorily helped by any doctor that you have seen. Would you agree that the fact you haven't been helped by the doctors is your own fault for not being "a willing participant in the process"?
 I would think you'd agree with me since I've seen at least a dozen of your posts showing you have a very unfavorable opinion of the medical establishment. Though my points made and I don't want to jack this thread so I'll be moving on.
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Perspex

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2016, 12:04:24 PM »

popopo - for sure - I know all those feelings too. It is one of our stronger instincts, which makes it very hard to cope with this issue. It really hits to the core. Sickening feeling. When I see interest from  an attractive woman, or I am interested, my mind almost immediately feels sadness and frustration. Its depressing me constantly. It's very sad

I've been told I should be keeping the blood flowing, but every time I masturbate it has become tinged with fear and sadness. That isn't a healthy thing to associate with sexuality at all. Every time I have a pi$$ I'm checking myself out and worried it'll be worse.

Yeah so every little stimuli is another reminder of what's NOT possible. And our societies really stick those stimuli right up our noses.

I'm trying to catch those moments and let the feelings go and not become caught up in a spiral

I read a nice quote the other day "Let go or be dragged"

True, I was sexually awake long before puberty, but I think you know what I mean. Outside sexuality there is a whole world going on around us.

So here we are. With this condition. Its f@cking harsh. How are we going to get through it? Some refocussing has to happen... I do need to find a way to be happy and peaceful in life regardless of this. And there are ways.

The alternative to an active attempt to create new positive approach of dealing with this, is constant unhappiness, dissapointment and depression or worse. So we've got to get working on that positive approach.

I say this, but I am struggling too... and understand the hopeless feelings. Just need to keep picking my chin up

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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #18 on: April 23, 2016, 03:14:52 AM »

True, we have no choice but you simply won't really get used to it. I smoke pot and I can't put my mind at rest in other ways except for working out and even that doesmt really work since even being in a sweatpants makes me paranoid about people checking out my non-existent bulge.. I try my hardest to stop smoking weed and focus on other things but I can't stop feeling bored without sex so I start smoking or drinking again. I think I'll eventually end it because I've been crying and screaming in anger and sadness all daynlong when I ran out of weed and reality setsin.
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PeetyPeet

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2016, 03:30:10 AM »

Just thought I'd through my 2 cents in here, as a man completely impotent since age 24 (now 36).

For me the most offensive aspect of my condition was the detrimental impact on life chances. At 24 I hadn't really made up my mind whether I wanted to get married, have children etc or whether I would rather lead a single, albeit mostly sexless, life. But to feel like I'd been denied the choice was just horrible. I mean, that's my human right!

I've certainly experienced the sadness and frustration when exposed to sexuality as mentioned by Popopo and Perspex, and I've also felt at times like, if I was completely healthy, I might be happy being single anyway. I have quite a few bachelor friends my age who are perfectly happy (some are sexually active, most are not).

I'm now married - despite everything - and I will say this: I love my wife dearly. She's an amazing woman and I'm incredibly lucky. But I've found marriage comes with commitments and complications that I didn't really envisage. There's a certain freedom that comes with being single, that I haven't experienced since we tied the knot. I do miss it at times, and should our marriage end I will re-embrace it completely. At least that's how I console myself at times when I worry that my condition is going to finish us off :)

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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2016, 06:05:25 AM »

I don't really care much about being alone. The only thing I really miss is sex and I'm 21 and able to get women. It's not like I'm a super hot guy or anything, but I could probably get a new girl every week if I went out every saturday night, but now it just seems pointless and the fear of being rejexted is waay stronger (and more likely) than the will to try once again.
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Kobraclutch

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #21 on: May 20, 2016, 02:04:53 AM »

I'm 23 years old and I just came across this forum about a month or so ago. My condition started this year in February actually I woke up one day and literally it was like a night and day difference. To be honest at that time in my life which was only a couple months ago haha I was in a bad spot. I was born with hyper cholesterol and that is a condition that happens in 1 out of every 300 people or so. At this age to get this condition of Peyronie's I would pretty much have to be 1 in100.

Now I've sat here in the past and in the recent past and thought to myself how am I that lucky or unlucky I should say that I would get something like this because  those numbers crap that's like 1 out of 10000

The truth is thinking like this doesn't get you anywhere. Now I'm not trying to boast or anything but I was lucky to have a larger penis than average and when I would get with the girls they would compliment me on it pretty much every time. They would go to their friends and brag and all that s*** that comes with with that situation.

Sitting here today I can tell you that if I was average and I got this condition it would be easier because I got in that mode where it was a ego boost along with enjoyment. So I can tell you that this has put a huge mental toll on me because I think about it all the time and I am constantly trying to fix it because just like countless others and has taken a toll on what I would Define masculinity. But that is just the thing. Everything just comes down to how you look at it because at the end of the day we are all here about this condition that really does put a toll on us but somewhere out there there are people who don't have body parts are dying in hospital beds get shot at like the age of 10 who knows all I'm saying is that I wake up every morning and at least I know that I have the freedom to either improve myself or sit there and just hurt mentally. Now obviously this is a tough pill to swallow but I don't really think that there is any other choice. It's like one of those situations like if you got in a car accident and it was the other person's fault and you lost your ability to walk I mean you could do anything you can kill that other person you can try to hurt others in their life or whatever means to get revenge but at the end of the day you're not going to walk because that is a cause and reaction thing and that's life.

NOW there is some positive that I want to say. The only real choice left is to improve on what we have. There are so many ways to improve yourself.

For me I have focused on improving my health. You are not going to be happy if you are eating bad foods that have toxins in them and cause inflammation. You are not going to be happy if you are taking drugs to ease the mental pain because at the end of the day it will just cause another problem that is underlining and even worse will cause you to be depressed in the end even more than you already are. You are not going to be happy if you sit on your a$$ everyday and count all your problems. The only way you will be happy is if you move forward

Eat fruits and vegetables eat fish instead of other meats cut out sugar cut out anything that doesn't really rot after leaving it out for a couple days cut out all the negative people in your life who are just trying to bring you down and manipulate you cut out all the drugs that you use to hide from your problems cut out sitting on your a$$ and not doing a damn thing and get up and exercise even if it's two three four hours a day as much as you can. You have to fix your body's digestive system and you have to fix the way that you feel because at the end of the day even if you are healthy you have this condition then maybe what I'm saying doesn't pertain to you but it definitely won't hurt and at the end of the day. if you are already considered a healthy person then just improve in other ways whether it be financially whatever the case may be find somethin to do rather than complaining every day about how tough the situation is. We already know how tough the situation is and I'm not saying that it's not good to vent about it but after a while you're going to have to pick up your sticks to build something or you're just going to be left out in the rain.

Good luck to everyone and at the end of the day if anyone wants to vent I'll be here you can tell me your problems,pm me,  because if I can learn something from someone or I can help them with their situation then that is truly amazing. Sorry for the long venting and sloppy writing it was on my phone haha.
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #22 on: May 20, 2016, 09:59:51 AM »

Chronic pain is its own issue.  One I am all too familiar with.  As far as pain goes, I no longer have any in my penis whether erect or not.  I attribute that to Magnesium supplementation and VED...but still my bend is excessive.

Pain wise, I have many, many other issues...mostly resulting from a couple of bad accidents in my "indestructible" youth.  My daily prescription for pain involves Morphine, a combination pill of Aspirin Caffeine Butalbital and Codeine, Flexoral and the high powered anti-inflamitory Diclofenac.  Some 35 years ago I was involved in car accident which crushed my entire right side and left me with a tangible scarring in my penis.  Nine years ago I discovered that said accident also cracked a vertebra. 

A year before said accident I wiped out both knees roller skating to the point of completely severing a crusiatic ligament in one.  Yes, me and Pain are close companions. 

With my cocktail of medicines, I can manage to get my pain from a 7 down to about a 3.  I consider 3 the most pain I can continuously tolerate without being a total bastard.  The only way to get it below a 3 is to get drunk on top of the medicines...which is not something I encourage or do...often.

Persistent tinnitus for 40 years has me quite hard of hearing, and impairs my enjoyment of music greatly, although I still enjoy it.

It does take a mental effort to manage a life in pain as well as physical adjustments. 

I do work out...upper body only as my knees prevent leg work...and have found that it helps significantly.  Physical labor on my country place is a requirement to having a country place, but the peace of being out of the city is worth it.

Consider seeking an environment with less stress.
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QuackAttack

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2016, 09:00:41 AM »

Kuaka,

It sounds like you have some similar bone and joint issues that I have, although mine are mostly baseball-related over use issued due to pitching and catching. I also partially tore my ACL and MCL skiing in grad school and was rear ended on a freeway and have two herniated discs L5/S1 & L4/L5. I also have had tinnitus for the past 5 years in my left ear (a low pitched hum or buzz that pulses with my blood pressure).

The elbow issues were killing me because it is hard to coach my kids baseball team and teach kids proper throwing mechanics when I am in pain if I throw over the top. I can throw like old school guys Kent Tekulve, Dan Quisenberry or Goose Gossage but that is the last thing I want to see 10-11 year old kids do.

So, for the past 2 1/2 years I have been taking Youngevity supplements to help with bone and joint issues and wasn't getting improvement in my elbow or tinnitus, nor with the popping joints etc. Because the products are expensive, I was only taking the dosage for somebody at 100-150 pounds. Since I weigh 175, I need to up my dose to double what I was taking, so for the past 10 days I have been double the dose and I upped the calcium/magnesium supplement to triple and added 50,000 IU Vitamin D3 and while my elbow isn't completely fixed, my pain has reduced to maybe 20% of what it was.

I have heard Dr. Wallach tell people scheduled for hip replacement surgery to hold off 3-4 months, do his program and then re-evaluate and they find out that they no longer need hip replacement. I've also heard Dr. Wallach say Ggnificant gum recession in my left molar area, I knew Dr. Wallach was on to something because gum loss is a well known problem in osteoporosis/arthritis of the skull. Here too, my tinnitus has started to minimize. While still there, I would say the sound has reduced by about 20-30%. So I upped my dose and I am seeing relief.

Here is a clip of Dr. Peter Glidden one of Dr. Wallach colleagues on tinnitus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFGCM1wgoYo
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #24 on: May 23, 2016, 03:41:29 PM »

Unfortunately, I am currently worse than broke.  I am gainfully employed with a good income...one I would be hard pressed to exceed if I were to change at present...but it is all and then some being consumed with medical expenses for my daughter.  She was given three months to live over a year ago, so we are doing something right, but it is taking everything I have and then some every pay period.  I'm overdrawn now on two different bank accounts.  One will be corrected tomorrow, the other on Friday.  I am not in a position to take on ANYTHING that costs even $20/month at this time. 

Surgery for my daughter which was done a day or so ago should reduce the outlay going forward, but I won't know that for a couple of weeks.  Then I can repay some dear friends who have helped as much as they could.

Tinnitus has been mine for four decades, and I have tried a few things over the years with no benefit.  What helps best is quiet, which is very hard to find lately.

My issues are stable at present, though barely tolerable and only so with a hope for future changes.
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lessor

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2017, 01:04:00 AM »

Let me tell you, and almost anyone who has had bad health problems can attest to: There are some good doctors out there, but a large percentage of doctors are utter crap, egomaniacs.
 because dealing with some of the doctors you have to see is utterly exhausting, when they make you feel like a pile of crap. 
Damn dude, you're absolutely right.
Doctors mostly have a great ego and that most of the urologists do not know crap about the penis, viagra was discovered by chance because it was used to treat angina, and similar to injections, and these things do not heal only provide temporary relief of symptoms. The only thing they know how to do to treat ED, and they only know how to do it well 5 urologists in the world, are the implants, which is a surgery without return. And the same for peyronie,s surgery, only a few urologist know to do it with good success
So my applause to this comment, most of the urologists have the highest ego and do not know crap, that without taking into account the times that say that everything is in your head just because you are young ..

And no, it isnt life without sex,  in no way, everything else is condescension and nice words that are not worth anything
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #26 on: August 15, 2017, 09:08:43 AM »

Condescension aside, there is much reason to live even without sex.  The fact that the medical "profession" is about money instead of cures does not make something like this straightforward.  However, there are Doctors who actually are interested in cures, and there are advances being made.  Much of what is wrong with "us" as humans is diet related.  The commonly "known" "good" things are mostly incorrect, from vitamins to needed nutrients.  Many of the commonly "known" "bad" things are not so either.

It isn't what you don't know that hurts you so much as what you know that ain't so.

Most of us are so far off it is no wonder that things such as this manifestation of inappropriate scaring are becoming more common.  It is not even as simple as magnesium deficiency, although that is a major factor.  Iron toxicity.  Ceruloplasmin deficiency (the enzyme to properly process Iron).  Copper deficiency.  Magnesium deficiency.  Potassium deficiency.  Improper chemicals called "vitamins".  Do some research.  "Vitamin D3" is not.  "Vitamin C" is not.

I have started on a nutritional foundation program to correct my malnutrition.  It will take time, but should contribute to my treatment of this disorder positively.
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Tychy

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #27 on: August 15, 2017, 09:22:37 AM »

Well, I can only speak about the situation in Germany, where docs don't make big money. While pharma industry sure is interested in money, problem with doctors is mostly some of them are ignorant. And if you meet one, it's devastating (had that twice). Now I'm in treatment at a research doc and it's great.

About your comment regarding vitamins. As long as you don't walk around 20 minutes naked upper body a day, your system won't produce enough vitamin D (at least in Europe). While it's true that D3 is metabolized by your body and therefore not a vitamin, you still most likely need to supplement it (additional to vitamin K). D3 is really cheap.

If you want to talk about other supplements, please be a bit more to the point and state your position with facts or theories, instead of only talking about "the known good things are bad" (and vice versa) and "do some research". That's not how an argument is working :D
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truejim

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #28 on: August 15, 2017, 10:59:51 AM »

Tychy, Kuaka: Newbie here. Your posts imply some information available about vitamins/supplements/diet and Peyronie's. I'm a long user of Vitamin C and D supplementation, and have been directed for a long time by a doctor to do so. This might be worth exploring for many of us. Should we start a thread about that or is there an existing thread on the list?
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2017, 09:08:47 AM »

I had a nice long post written only to have my browser crash. 

There are some specific threads here about supplements and drugs (OTC and Rx) so I won't elaborate in this post.

Somewhat unrelated, but possibly a causation factor, is an overall misunderstanding of vitamins and minerals.  If you really want to be blown away, research the motivation behind "supplementation" of food.  It is ... drum roll please ... money.  As we became more sedentary, we ate less.  It was discovered that adding certain things to food kept our appetites up.  It is no wonder we are a fat, sick people.

As part of this, I have learned to discount almost everything the medical profession says about nutrition.

As a couple of examples:

Vitamin C.  The legal definition is Ascorbic Acid, and this is what is added to "food" and called "enrichment".  Real Vitamin C is a much more complex molecule and requires cofactors to be present in order to function.  Real Vitamin C cures scurvy.  Ascorbic Acid does not.

Vitamin D3.  The synthetic chemical is actually a synthetic hormone.

Iron.  We are actually iron toxic, which depletes us of Magnesium and Copper.

Magnesium.  Modern farming techniques have depleted soils of Magnesium so the very best source of it is no longer readily available.  This would be green leafy vegetables grown organically in healthy soil.  There are good supplements of Magnesium and bad ones.  Stearate is bad.  Citrate is bad.  Chloride is good.  Oxide is marginal.  There are more.

Most of us are actually Iron toxic, with an overload of unbound Iron.  An enzyme which is necessary to properly process the Iron/Copper/Magnesium in our bodies is Ceruloplasmin.  This is produced by the Brain and Liver, but mostly by the Eyes, when exposed to sunlight.  Sunlight on the skin is also the best source of real Vitamin D.  Watching the sun rise (no sun glasses) is a great way to increase your Ceruloplasmin.  Getting some daytime sun (with sun glasses for UV protection) is the best way to get Vitamin D.

I have found a website which delves into this topic deeply.  He does sell his services if you are interested, but the information on Iron toxicity and Magnesium deficiency is free, and very detailed.  Expect this to be a significant task.  I am only just starting down this path myself and I have already noticed some major benefits in terms of how I feel, how much energy I have, how well I sleep.  I have not noticed any improvements in the area we concentrate here on yet, but it is still early in my venture down the Iron Toxicity, Magnesium Deficiency correction path.  Magnesium Advocacy Group — What you don't know about Magnesium might kill you. is the site.
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truejim

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #30 on: August 16, 2017, 10:00:07 AM »

Thanks a million, Kuaka. I have supplemented my diet with Vitamin C and D3 for a long, long time. (As well as CoQ10/Ubiquinol and other supplements mentioned elsewhere on the list.) I have become a little sloppy about sourcing the supplements. I will certainly start there. And this Magnesium thing is definitely interesting.

This may seem convoluted but the supplement comments got me to thinking: I came to this thread because I live in a virtually sexless marriage (none for a year now, and only twice a year or so in the years before that), and (I think) rapidly developed a Peyronie's condition in the last 6 months or so. My wife is chronically ill and sex has always been of almost no interest to her, as it is - at best - an activity whose negative aftereffects outweigh its pleasures. I had been trying very hard to ignore my own sexual desire, so I can't say I noticed a change. However, about 6 months ago, I went to a urologist to have a check up, and he asked me about my sexual desire. I told him I could only seriously account for the mental strain of abstinence, and I noted the absence of "nocturnal erections." I also noted a constant discomfort that, sadly, felt like a hovering between sexual excitement and pain. Needless to say, this constant reminder made abstinence even worse. He suggested I at least try some Viagra to assist in checking on the base function. Voila, Peyronie's.

Just yesterday, I had the formal diagnosis (52 degrees with some hourglass tapering) and recommendations, which Im thinking over, since, frankly, if I'm to honor my marital commitment, I don't need to repair. (The psychological pain of that I may some day open up about on this thread later....)

Circling around again, I cannot identify any trauma that may have caused this to so rapidly occur - especially since I haven't had sex for over a year and don't recall a noticeable bend from that last time.

For a very big reason, I am wondering about vitamins, chemical exposures and organ traumas that may have created the conditions for a sudden "rupture" as it were. About two years ago, I had a paraesophageal hernia surgery (look it up :-) that went, very, very wrong - perforating my stomach and putting me into sepsis, renal failure, kidney failure - the works. Two day coma, ICU, 16 day hospital stay. But, for some miraculous reason I recovered fully and am out and about, back to work and so on. Still, I am informed by my surgeon and other doctors that I went all the way down. Not to mention got pumped up with a few zillion drugs in the process.

Food for thought.
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Tychy

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #31 on: August 16, 2017, 05:32:52 PM »

Wait wait wait :)

Sure supplements are about money. That's just capitalism. Nobody produces for free and everybody seeks money. I also don't like this, but this is how the world runs today.
Nutrition in the US is widespread bad, I know that.

Vitamin C is ascorbatic acid. Source for vitamin C not curing scurvy?

Cholecalciferol is a pro-hormone. There is nothing bad to this.

Get your iron and Ceruloplasmin determined by blood work, if you want to be sure. Morbus Wilson has reduced Ceruloplasmin.
Care to explain how this is metabolized in the liver regarding to sun light?

You are right about vitamin D. Sun is best way to produce this.

And sorry, but if there is one guy complaining about something that "kills me" or I have to buy his services, that's quack land. Drop me peer reviewed studies and I will read them. :)
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swiss

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #32 on: August 16, 2017, 06:18:55 PM »

You're going to be okay. You're actually gonna drive girls insane by not sleeping with them right away. When they start to like you then you can explain what's up. If they actually like you they won't care. Get jacked, you're more than your dick. Medical advancements are NUTS right now. We're literally curing cancer. Peyronies won't be anything in 10 years. Be well
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suicidecomingsoon

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #33 on: August 17, 2017, 03:02:09 AM »

Peyronies won't be anything in 10 years. Be well
Yeah.. I wait 10 years later noone write this message again as always.
2027 Oh don't worry improvement will arrive soon, in ten years peyronies won't be anything
2037 the same... sooo again ahain and again
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Paolo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #34 on: August 17, 2017, 03:13:32 AM »

I use ester-c for vitamin C supplementation, Calcium L-Ascorbate with rose hips and rutin 1000-1500 mg per day  :)

If anyone is taking Vitamin E make sure it includes d-gamma, this I think appears to help peyronie's due to damaging peroynitrite molecule during acute phase. Getting enough Vitamin E from diet alone is very difficult, this is one vitamin that every guy should take.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

swiss

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #35 on: August 17, 2017, 09:16:33 AM »

Yeah.. I wait 10 years later noone write this message again as always.

Ten years ago they werent curing cancer bruh. It's gonna happen. Keep your head up.


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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #36 on: August 17, 2017, 09:24:14 AM »

Cancer is like public enemy number one when it comes to diseases. Nobody cares about my dick tho... But we'll see.
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swiss

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #37 on: August 17, 2017, 09:38:47 AM »

Nobody cares about my dick tho...

We care bro. We care.
But really a lot of these treatments are gonna be cross platform basically. They use your own cells to rebuild tendons and cartilidge - See companies like replicel
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AlexSamo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #38 on: August 17, 2017, 01:10:50 PM »

Ten years ago they werent curing cancer bruh. It's gonna happen. Keep your head up.
What?! People are still dying from cancer in 2017 like it was ten years ago. I guess in 2027 situation will be same as now. There's no such thing as "effectively cure of cancer" in 2017.

I'm just wondering: is this a wall that science can't broke or what? Nothing has changing for decades! We're literally just slightly modified medical options that was been developed 40 or 50 years ago. And where are all these futuristic promising options, like DNA-editing or tissue engineering?
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swiss

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #39 on: August 17, 2017, 06:58:56 PM »

haha there is a coming cure for cancer yes. Maybe not 100% but it has a very high success rate. It is being used and has been used on one of my friends...for all cancers no...but it is only a matter of time. Search T-Cell therapy it is the REAL DEAL.
Peyronies will see a cure. I am very optimistic.
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #40 on: August 18, 2017, 10:47:25 AM »

Vitamin C is ascorbatic acid. Source for vitamin C not curing scurvy?


Pay a visit to the magnesium advocacy group I linked to.  There is all of the material necessary to understand what I am saying and then some.  Vitamin C is legally defined as Ascorbic Acid, but that is only a small part of actual Vitamin C.  Vitamin C cures scurvy.  Ascorbic Acid does not.

The list goes on. 
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Tychy

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #41 on: August 19, 2017, 06:41:53 AM »

Well, I suppose it depends on whom you believe in.

There is also the Vitamin C foundation https://www.vitamincfoundation.org/basics.php

Then there is the Vitamin D council https://www.vitamindcouncil.org/about-vitamin-d/am-i-deficient-in-vitamin-d/

I bet they meet once a year and battle each other in an arena.

Jokes aside, that's why you need peer reviewed studies instead of opinions. Nevertheless, chelated magnesium glycinate supplementation doesn't hurt.
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #42 on: August 21, 2017, 10:09:05 AM »

The source of most "vitamins" consumed in America is various chemical Frankenstein creations.  If we can get our vitamins from actual food, we will be far better off.  The simple fact that America is dead last in terms of "first world" nations and health speaks volumes all by itself.
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Tychy

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #43 on: August 21, 2017, 05:09:17 PM »

If we can get our vitamins from actual food, we will be far better off.

That is utterly correct!
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #44 on: August 25, 2017, 08:03:17 AM »

The one exception might be Magnesium.  The best source is green vegetables grown in healthy soil, so a decent supplement is appropriate here. 

Look for Magnesium Chloride, Glycinate, Malate, Sulfate (soak in a bath with Epsom Salts), Taurate, Orotate or Threonate.  These forms of Magnesium are the best supplements. 

Ones to avoid or not bother with are Oxide (small doses are ok, but you don't get much benefit anyway), Citrate, Ascorbate, Carbonate with Citric Acid, Aspartate and Glutamate.
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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #45 on: August 26, 2017, 09:59:00 AM »

I honestly don't think "natural" vitamines are different from ones in supplement form. People seem to be so over concerned about stuff being "natural" while structurally there is no difference because it's the same substance no matter how it's produced/grown.
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popopo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #46 on: August 27, 2017, 03:16:05 AM »

I also disagree that America is last in health care. I think healthcare should be free or at least insurance should be available for everyone, but other than that you're probably ahead of for example the dutch. For example, there is NO WAY a dutch doctor will perscribe me TRT while my levels are low enough for most american ones to help me out. Hwre they also don't know about pentoxifylline and other surgery free treatments for peyronies. Luckily I have a kind GP who put me back on pentox because I told him it's supposed to be the only thing that has a chance of workong right now and I still have pain, so he understands this is the leasthe can do.
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kuaka

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #47 on: August 27, 2017, 08:49:22 AM »

unfortunately, popopo, vitamins are quite a bit different than what we are sold as supplements.  Two examples come to mind.  Vitamin C is legally defined as Ascorbic Acid.  That however is only a small part of real Vitamin C.  The antioxidant function of Ascorbic Acid is a protective layer on the actual Vitamin C molecule, which is far more complex.  Furthermore, there are other compounds necessary to actually use Vitamin C...cofactors if you will. 

Back in the 1930’s ascorbic acid was isolated out of little red peppers by Dr. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi who won a Nobel Prize for his work. What he also found, which has mostly been ignored, was that ascorbic acid was far more biologically available and active while it was still in the red pepper.

Most of what is called "Vitamin C" available is made from corn syrup and hydrochloric acid, which absolutely guarantees that it will not have ANY of the cofactors present.  The entire purpose of synthesizing these things is to make money from "food" manufacture. 

This is but one example of the complete misunderstanding of nutrition in America.
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Paolo

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #48 on: August 27, 2017, 09:05:05 AM »

One thing regarding vitamin C it is 'useless' trying to get vitamin C through orange juice, the sugar molecule in OJ negates the vitamin C, that's why the 'whole' orange is beneficial as it has fibre which slows absorption  :)

I use only ester-c, 500mg every 3-4 hours without food, it is extremely 'gentle' on the stomach  ;D
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

JohnWright

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Re: Is life living without sex?
« Reply #49 on: August 27, 2017, 04:34:55 PM »

Time has detoured this thread from where it originally needed to go.

So, the question that was originally asked, "Is life worth living without sex?"...let's get back to that.

1 - Is the ability to have sex a desirable thing for men? Duh.
2 - Are men in penile crisis likely to get worked up to a tizzy that their life is over just because they can't have as much sex as they want, or at all? Yes.
3 - Is there a universal law which states that sex is mandatory to be alive, or to experience life? No. I looked. It is no where to be found.
4 - Do men tend to wrap their personalities around their dicks, and forget #3 above? Every. Damn. Day.
5 - If a guy does #4, does that mean they're being utterly self-centered? Yes, completely. Not to mention, shallow.
5 - What can we do for the guys in #5 above? Recognize that there will be normal male reactions to reduction in or complete loss of ability to have sex. But, help guys out by focusing on all the other aspects of human life that prove life is worth living.

Thousands of human beings have lost far more than their ability to have sex. They've had to recover from total devastation in their life. When they're standing at the bottom of the mountain -- the mountain of choices, do I choose to take the first step in faith that there's something more ahead or do I choose to give up -- it can feel insurmountable.

But, it's just a feeling.

What man is adept at making good choices based on his feeeeeeelings? Haven't met one man who could. Ever. Men suck at it.

We men must get over those kind of shallow feelings, and look at the world around us.

For sure, there will be a perfectly normal season of grieving for any loss, and this would be normal for any man losing his ability to have sex. Grieving can last months, right? Depending on how a man processes change, and his own thinking processes -- is the man self-centered or a giver to others? Our default tendency will either be our enemy or our friend when we pass through any kind of loss.

Both types of guys, but especially the self-centered, need someone to speak of the truth, of the hope, that certainly exists on the other side of the dark valley.

A man is not a dick. He can act like a dick. But a man is a man -- with a dick. The dick is not the man, nor is the man the dick.

So, be a man. Be a human being. Yes it's ok to grieve, but ultimately you must rise above the circumstance and the easy temptation to stay in that oh-woe-is-me rut.

The world is full of people who need another human being who can, and will, rise above their own circumstance to change the world for another.

We can give of ourselves to others, or we can become self-obsessed dick heads -- and there are plenty of men who've gone before us on the Forum who've demonstrated how the dick head story ends.

It all hinges on the mountain of choice -- will you or won't you choose to live -- in spite of this detail about your dick? It absolutely and certifiably takes a leap of faith. All the things a man has doubts about: Will any woman ever be able to love me? Can a woman love me and not demand sex? Is it possible to be in a relationship and not have sex?

To those basic questions, the answers are YES! YES! YES!

Such questions are so trivial, yet so difficult to comprehend when a man is writing his own internal narrative -- and so effectively undermining his ability to believe in any other possibilities. Snap out of it! To answer 'no' to those questions says that a man believes the rest of the world is just as selfish as he is. I can prove that the rest of the world is not. You can prove the rest of world is not. That there are people here on the Forum who attempt to rescue the thinking of such a person is just one single example of selflessness -- among hundreds of millions of examples on planet Earth.

For a man to experience hope, there are several huge assumptions: 1) you're not a dick head to everyone, especially to someone who is attempting to love you, 2) you're capable of living for others and not just for yourself and you demonstrate this in the things you do and ways you care that are observable by others, and 3) you can take a leap of faith, stop believing your own personal story that you tell yourself, and get out there and talk to people and learn what their needs are. Look for ways to make a difference in somebody else's life.

Is life worth living without sex? -- it's a great question, and I think us men could fill several lifetimes with stories proving that the answer is YES!

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