Over the last several weeks my peyronies has been progressing very rapidly. I'm not sure if this even heard of but it seems to be getting worse on almost a weekly, sometimes daily basis.
For me this all started in 2012. First I didn't know what it was. I may have injured myself but at the time I thought nothing of it. And there was just a part of my penis that just felt odd. Like an area that would stay soft even when erect. However, I was still able to do what I needed to do. I was just trying to be careful not to make whatever this is worse. Obviously, I failed.
Anyways I was diagnosed by uro first time on just a list of symptoms. He just told me to take Vitamin E and that was it. I had already had this area for probably a year before even visiting the uro. This was late 2012-early 2013. There was no curvature just lumpy area that wrapped around slightly to the left side of my penis. Like a ring, but not a complete circle. It was't that bad at the time, and he told me to masturbate regularly for my prostate. He said whatever I'm doing, do more. I don't know if he realized I usually did at least once a day, some times 2-3 but anyways. It seemed relatively stable for a while really until last year or maybe towards the end of 2014. I'm bad with remember dates, so all these could be wrong for all I know, just a general idea.
In the past 8-12 months I have been getting regular newly formed plaques. Certain things seemed to trigger
it. I may have made things worse by "checking" the areas to see if they are getting bigger. Probably not a good idea to rub on the areas too much, but it stressed me out so much I just wanted to know the progression or if it was getting better. The thing is because of my weight my penis is "buried" inside of my scrotum. Basically, unless I'm erect or I sort of tuck it out, you can't even see it. It's embarassing sure, but it's just the reality of it. I've lost 150 pounds past year and I've seen no significant change there. But I'm still overweight. Anyways, point is when I "check" it I may have been making it worse.
But other things seem to as well. Often times even making new lumps on the spot. Idk if this is normal but I can actually feel them forming.
I have asthma and throughout the winter, it's always hell. I've gotten kind of used to it. But one thing I've seen is coughing can cause new lumps/plaques. Idk if it's the pressure, and I have high BP, but I've literally felt a rupture type of sensation and pain following that. Then within the next day or 2, there's a lump in the area.
Going number 2 can seem to make it worse or make plaques bigger.
Sitting down for long periods of time. Maybe that has something to do with my "buried" penis. I'm not sure. But I have to be careful sitting down and standing up.
Walking even induces pain. Probably weight related, when I walk maybe it's just the skin touching a plaque
or moving under the area.
And now literally over night, I have my first actual curvature it seems. It doesn't seem as big as some others I've seen but my situation is a special case. I have lumps almost all over my penis now. It's hard to pin-point the plaque because it's like one giant plaque. Before though I just had lumps and dents. I was still able to move my skin down to masturbate. I didn't really have a curve so much before. Some of these lumps feel golf ball size tbh.
After waking up with the most deformed erection to date after it died down I went and took my supplements and Pentox
doses. Tried to relax for a little bit and got it up again and I wanted to see if it was even possible to ejaculate at all at this point.
The skin is so tight and rough at this point, it's hard to move the skin down. And it almost feels..too hard if that makes sense. I've been doing this very delicately when I masturbate. Just lightly stroking, and trying as much as possible to avoid the plaques. My penis just feels swollen when I'm erect now. The back of my penis sort of balloons out. There's a dent/hourglass shape on my left side. The front of my penis is just one mess of plaques. On the top right side of my shaft there's a massive lump. It was growing down but after masturbating tonight it's much bigger. Hoping it will at least return to the way it was. My junk was already small, now it's smaller.
Anyways, I was able to ejaculate. But it's the first time it was really consistently painful. Before I would get an occasional sharp pain and it would freak me out.
I lost my erection, get it again, and so on. I was basically just lightly rubbing my penis to get off at a certain point.
When I finally ejaculated, it felt extremely tight. Basically all these plaques bulged as it happened. Felt like the skin was going to rip.
But what I'm mostly concerned with at this point if I would even be able to penetrate *at all.* I find myself lowering my standards with this every day, of what I find acceptable. But if I can't have sex at all or enjoy it, i just don't know what to do.
My erections are not painful though. Just feels too tight or almost swollen. But the pain does't start until I try to masturbate.
Here's everything i'm taking currently:
Vitamin E. I've also tried to incorporate foods with Vitamin E. Discontinued for about a week because was wondering if I was taking too much.L-arginine
Acetyl L Cartinine. Off and on. Not sure how much this helps but just ran out of it again.
Co Q-10. Was taking a while but ran out recently.
Tried Paba for a short while but ran out and never reordered.
I also discontinued my atenolol some months back as it's a beta blocker.
Any advice at all would be appreciated. I've never been so scared in my life. I'm young and still care a lot about sex. I'm a virgin though, and the big motivation of losing the weight was to look better, be more confident, etc. This has put a huge dent in that, pun intended.
I've had a hard life. I've been through a lot. Not going to go into all that here, but I can safely say of all the things I've dealt with, I've never felt worse.
I can't even enjoy things completely unrelated to sex. Because once you try and do that you realize it's permeated just about every facet of life. How many movies or TV shows don't have love scenes, attractive women with sexy clothing, or anything like that? Everytime I watch TV there's victorias secret ads.
I've considered therapy or somethinng but that would be like accepting defeat and just trying to avoid the sadness that comes with this. I don't want something to numb my feelings on this and make me not care. I just want my sex-life or lack thereof to return. I don't want to die a virgin.
I see a beautiful woman now and it's just frustrating.
I actually genuinely think I like cuddling more than sex itself. However, I like it because of the arousal that comes with that. Now, feeling aroused isn't so much fun.
My urologist was supposed to refer me to someone else, a sexual dysfunction doctor, who he said would know more about this and other options. He admitted he is not the expert on this condition. He never got back to me. I kind of just forgot about it a while because it was at least stable. I guess Monday I'll be calling his office to ask about that.
Honestly, I'm not even sure if the last resort surgery is even possible if it ever gets to that point because of the way it's buried. I thought that would improve with weight loss, but nothing so far.