I need to be talked down. Thinking about hurting myself.

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thecman

Hi. I'm a young man. 19 years of age. Was diagnosed with peyronies about a year and a half ago. The condition seemed to get better but is now becoming way worse than before.

My curve isn't horrendous at the moment, however I've lost about 2 inches and 1 inch in girth. I'm now officially below average length and girth when before I used to be exceptionally above (by my standards atleast)

I'm very sad because I feel that girls my age will not be able to settle for someone with an issue like mine.
Why would they stay with me when they could have somebody with a well functioning or bigger penis? or someone who actually wants to have sex (Cus I sure wouldn't feel like it most of the time)
Sometimes I feel like if I were to masturbate or have sexual intercourse it would hurt way too much.

Anyways. I desire love and a relationship with a girl so much. I desire a healthy sex life aswell.

This is so hard for me and lately I hate my life. I don't see much of a point in an existence as hellish as I perceive this.

I see a therapist but he is of no help. I don't want to die, but I also do at the same time if that makes sense.
I need help bad. Maybe someone could talk to me? an older guy with experience? My father passed when I was young. I just really need help  :'(

I apologize if this came off demanding or bratty. It is my first post. I wish I could contribute more meaningfully, but I'm just a negative crappy person.

nemo

I'm glad you're reaching out, because you need to get a grip on what you might do to improve this situation - and reaching out is a great first step.

Questions: Have you been to a urologist and been diagnosed?  Has he/she talked options to you, like Xiaflex?  

If you don't feel like your therapist is helping, please find a different therapist - there's no reason to suffer through one not giving you the support and constructive help you need.  

Best,
Nemo
51 yrs. old, multiple auto-immune conditions. First episode of Peyronies Disease in 2002. Recurred a couple times since. Over the years I have tried Topical Verapamil, Iontophoresis, all the supps and Cialis + Pentoxifylline. Still functional, always worried.

thecman

I've been to many urologists. I've tried the following with no success:

PRP injections
Traction
Vitamin e
Pentox
Hot baths 4 times a day

I haven't tried VED because I feel scared about it. I think I might hurt myself if I do it.

I have had many therapists aswell none of which have really helped my mental state. For the past year and a half life feels like hell. I know its selfish to be upset about peyronies yet I can't help it. I know people have worse stuff like cancer and missing limbs. I feel guilty but I also can't help feeling bad for myself.

Thank you for responding. I can't put into words how much any input is appreciated.




james1947

thecman

In my opinion, you have not bean to the right urologists and not to the right therapists.
You need to see a real Peyronies specialist.
You may want to read the list bellow to find one close to you:
https://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,4063.0.html
By the way, VED helped me more that everything, but takes time to see results and should be careful not to over-pump.

James
Age 71, Peyronies from Jan 2009 following penis fracture during sex. Severe ED.
Lost 2" length and a lot of girth. Late start, still VED, Cialis & Pentox helped. Prostate surgery 2014.
Got amazing support on the forum

nemo

Don't feel guilty (on top of everything else) for feeling depressed over Peyronies Disease - it's a cruel disease, most especially for a young man. I agree with James, you need to find a better therapist - preferably one with expertise in sexual health.  Same with a urologist - one of the Peyronies Disease specialists is who you should seek out if you can. You need to speak with someone about whether Xiaflex is an option, for one thing.  

Nemo
51 yrs. old, multiple auto-immune conditions. First episode of Peyronies Disease in 2002. Recurred a couple times since. Over the years I have tried Topical Verapamil, Iontophoresis, all the supps and Cialis + Pentoxifylline. Still functional, always worried.

LWillisjr

If you are looking for love and compassion, then stop looking for girls who want a big penis. Girls are also looking for love and understanding and this isn't measured by the size of one's penis. If this were true then 50% of men on this earth (The ones below average) would never be married and would never have a true and lasting relationship.

I was 19 once and felt the same way. I wasn't dealing with Peyronies then, but I did think who I met and how I performed in bed and "would she like my penis" mattered. Turns out it does not. The woman I met we hit it off from the beginning. Had common interests, enjoyed spending time with each other, and would laugh and cry together. We met as teenagers and after 3 years dating got married. That was 39 years ago and we still enjoy each other's company, enjoy life, and laugh and love together.

And, oh yeah.......  She still enjoys sex with a man who has a "less than average" penis.  ;-)
Developed peyronies 2007 - 70 degree dorsal curve
Traction/MEDs/Injections/Surgery 2008 16 years Peyronies free now
My History

Hontas


TonySa

If you've tried multiple therapists w no improvement in your depression, you might want to also add medication—even a low dose of anti-depressant—and then your mood may lift sufficiently to benefit from therapy. Talk to you MD, but many Men find Wellbutrin has fewer secxual side effects than SSRI's and it's cheap as generic.
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

cheeznips

Do you have pain with your erections? Can you get erections?
Dude chicks dont care about size trust me. They just want someone to hold and penis that works, atleast most chicks.
Dont fret over size. I know how you feel though i had another sexual injury on july 4th and my penis went completely numb again. I thought to myself as soon as i woke up today, "if i had a gun id totally kill myself right now". But i had the same injury when i was 19 and it actually got alot better and i felt the same exact way. So maybe it will get better for you, and me. Just be patient child.

Hontas

DUDE, i don't have AN INJURY. I always have an injury and inflammation.

swiss

Consider a site for finding asexual partners. Though I think you'll be able to have sex again. You are young. I would give VED a shot because traction is more difficult and scarier IMO. How many hour a day did you do traction for? People on the site have done well with hundreds of hours in the devide before seeing results. Hang in there bruh.  

popopo

Damn swiss, asexuality is not the same as unable to perform. I really dont think you should look for asexual people to find your happiness. That's like turning into a gay bottom for not being able to get hard, sure prwctically it works around the issue, but it's a different thing you're looking for. Also, I knew this was gonna happen and you have al, the roght to be mad Hontas. Like I said before, I'm not weak, iust figured out there is nothing for us young men to do now. They should cure is, period. What more can we expect? I for one ignore women all together for years now and I'm turning a worse person rveryday and frankly dont care. Part of me wishes I'd lose my damn mind so I'll finally be able to break out of this life one way or another. This waiting is pointless, so is working, why work for a life you'll never have while the one you live is utter puke.
Age: 25
Date of onset: 17
Symptoms: sharp pains, numbness, change in shape/size, hourglassing and discolaration from jelqing/VED usage as a teen. Diagnosed with a venous leak and possible scarring.
Treatments tried: cialis, pentox and VED didnt help

Hontas

I think I am going to go cold turkey with porn and masturbation for 3 months and see how it will go, i will probably still have more scarring but maybe then and with cialis i will have good enough erections that won't get injured anymore... If that doesn't work and I start to have an actually active sex life i don't know what to do actually. Implant is a big thing for me right now because the science can improve to find us a solution but we would have been past that anyway. Only out i see is Xiapex as an option as it is widely used here in Spain

DELETED

Question for admins and mods: why do you banning some guy if he posts his pure thoughts without any "filtration"? If his words are true and you know that it's true, why you shut up him? I thought this forum is some kind of democratical for all kind of opinions, but now I see that it's for only "bright" posts, like if everything is ok and everyone is happy. But this is not true and you all know about this. This is the place of mens who suffer from devastating disease, so let them post whatever they want!

DELETED

I'm talked about "popopo", doubt that he posted commercial links

LWillisjr

You might want to get your facts straight. He has not been banned as yet.

He has been warned due to forum rules violations. When a member's warning level is  high, then their posts have to be reviewed and approved before they are visible. None of his posts have been changed, and they have been approved for posting.

And to be absolutely clear, his warnings have nothing to do with whether the moderators agree or disagree with his opinions. And I am not going into further details here as this is with Popopo.
Developed peyronies 2007 - 70 degree dorsal curve
Traction/MEDs/Injections/Surgery 2008 16 years Peyronies free now
My History

DELETED

But still I don't get why you muted someone without any obvious reasons

popopo

Took a couple days, but I'm not muted anymore. I am still beng watched by a moderator though, but no poblem. The reason I was muted is because I was too harsh on some other forum member, used too much curse language and probably also because I tend to be negative. (For all the right reasons i think, but still..).
Age: 25
Date of onset: 17
Symptoms: sharp pains, numbness, change in shape/size, hourglassing and discolaration from jelqing/VED usage as a teen. Diagnosed with a venous leak and possible scarring.
Treatments tried: cialis, pentox and VED didnt help