understanding my lovers pain

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destina

Hi Friends,

I've known my lover has peyronies since we met in Aug 2014. It was love at first sight, an incredible deep connection and mind-blowing sex!! Recently he has been avoiding intimacy and confided it's because his erections have become painful. I love him to death and just want to help

nemo

Hi Destina,

Very good place to come for advice - welcome!  

You're already being very supportive by looking into this yourself. There is a myriad of advice here he may benefit from, and I'd encourage him to visit and participate here, as well.

Beyond the treatments here that might help improve his condition (if there's bending, etc.) know that pain is almost always temporary and will fade away at some point.  However, it does often indicate inflammation is present, so he wants to be very careful about how he uses his penis during this time. Mainly, when a guy experiences pain in his erection, the erection diminishes quickly - it's just a factor of anxiety and adrenaline.  Not in itself something to worry about. It's hard to maintain an erection when your in pain or panicking.  

On a more personal level, the more you can encourage him to have a relaxed conversation about this, the better. You don't want him suffering in silence, but neither do you want to act like it's a huge ordeal that requires a heavy conversation. The more casual you can be, the less stress it will put on him. Helpful ideas you find here are good to talk about ... also gentle reassurance that you love him far too much to let a physical issue come between you.  That said, you both have to commit to not letting that physical issue turn into a big mental issue. This is the biggest challenge.

Again, kudos for taking the initiative to learn about this.  Know that Peyronie's is seldom as catastrophic as we think it will be when we first get it ... I too enjoyed the best sex of my life after having Peyronie's, so it's hardly a death sentence for the sex life.  But as you can see, it does require certain adjustments and even periods where traditional sex may not be the best thing.  

Feel free to ask any questions. We're all glad to help.

Best,
Nemo
51 yrs. old, multiple auto-immune conditions. First episode of Peyronies Disease in 2002. Recurred a couple times since. Over the years I have tried Topical Verapamil, Iontophoresis, all the supps and Cialis + Pentoxifylline. Still functional, always worried.

Jeepman47

I recently had a talk with my wife about my Peyronies, and it was slightly awkward but a good thing to get it done.  We basically discussed stopping certain things and as my doc said "If it hurts you could be doing damage, stop it."  He suggested talking about what hurts right now, and to speak up, always use lube and be only as vigorous as I feel I could handle.  Just taking the time to (I hate to say it this way but) set some boundaries of what works and doesn't work instead of someone getting frustrated or turned off in the heat of the moment makes a lot of difference.  

We have since done the deed and it made a world of difference in all aspects.  I didn't hurt the day after, which is a first for quite some time.  

On another note, my erections have been a little less firm and he may be experiencing some of this too.... If so, it was a major blow to my self esteem and confidence.  I don't want my wife to think I'm less attracted to her because of this... So, keep those things in mind and remember lubrication.  

Norm

Jeep,
You might try some Cialis Daily for the lack of rigidity. It really helped me a lot. I could get hard, but not like olden days when I was a young buck. My doc gives me samples. I take one every 2-3 days and it makes a real difference. If you can, try your doc for samples. If not, you can make a 30 day supply last for almost 90 days. It's worth a try.
Norm  
Plication Surgery Dec. 2013. Straight Again!

Jeepman47

Thanks for the advice, Norm.  I actually went to the doc on Friday and he really listened to what I had to say and. What I ha read here.  I walked out with a 2.5 Cialis script and also Pentox.  I started Pentox today.  Cialis was out of stock at CVS.  They are working on getting it in.  The advice here really helped to come up with a game plan.  Thank you.

Baldeagle

Jeep, you should try a Canadian Pharmacy for more affordable generic Cialis.  Works just as well for me.  Many here have used River, I have had good luck with Northwest Pharmacy.
 

Jeepman47

Apparently I'm actually approved through my insurance and I just sign the ticket.  I've not had to pay for a script for over a year now.  Well, I tkae that back.  The medication I have to take for Hemophilia Type A, for a 2 month supply is about $85,000.  My cost is $150 for all of that.  Thank you for the advice though, as I'm not sure how far up they cover the mg's on Cialis.