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Jlm

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New here
« on: June 28, 2014, 12:47:43 PM »

Hello I'm new to this forum and I need help. My husband has Peyronie's disease. We had a wonderful sex life.  It was one of the best aspects of our marriage. Then, he had difficulty with erections and now his penis is unusable for intercourse. He can achieve a mushy erection that I can stimulate to orgasm but (and I'm ashamed to say this...I feel like one of those men who cannot get turned on by their wives when they have mastectomies) his genitals now are repugnant to me.  I know there are other things to sex besides intercourse but even oral sex with him is difficult because his penis is a mushy right angle. I am at wits end.  I cannot even look at him now and see him as a sexual being. I'm just not ready to give up hope of a vibrant sex life. I think if I could I might be able to imagine him as a least a romantic if not a sexual partner but I cannot get there.  Any advice?  Thank you,
Lonely and ashamed
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Skjaldborg

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Re: New here
« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2014, 05:12:17 PM »

Hi Jlm,

Be sure to get your husband to a urologist for a definitive diagnosis. There are treatments such as pentox, VED and low-dose cialis which can be helpful. Failing that, corrective surgery or an implant can be a last resort.

Regarding your diminished sexual attraction to his genitals, I suggest seeing a therapist about that. A therapist with experience in couple's therapy and sexual health may help you gain some perspective on your feelings and guide you to a healthier sex life. It's certainly OK to have the feelings you have, but understand that this is 100 times worse for your husband. Men put much of their sexual identity in to their penis and hearing that they are no longer attractive down there is devastating. Good luck.

-Skjald
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Nordicz

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Re: New here
« Reply #2 on: June 28, 2014, 05:12:49 PM »

Hi Jlm,

You've got alot going on. It's good you can reach out and talk about the issue. If your husband was diagnosed with Peyronies disease by a physician then it doesn't have to be the end of the world. It can be treated and in the end it should never be the death sentence to a couple's sex life. I recommend finding a specialist in your area to find the best treatment options for your husband.  If the current practitioner is saying there is nothing that can be done then you definitely need to search for a different doctor for this issue.

There is a women's forum here and I recommend you reaching out to many ladies such as yourself who have walked in your shoes for better advice than a man can give. Possibly consider counseling to help with some of your feelings.

I can only speak for myself. But the one night my wife and I wanted to be intimate and my penis was soooo curved that we could not have sex was the night I felt very angry, ashamed and embarrassed about the fact I could not function as a husband. My wife (a nurse) has been very understanding and patient. We are going on almost 1 yr without me having penetrative sex with her. Yet we have found ways to be intimate. It is not the same. I just had surgery to correct my deformity and once the healing has subsided we should be able to continue as we always have. She is excited for that day.

The feeling of inadequacy was very strong and no man wants to go through that. I had a hard time expressing that even to my wife. I am sure your husband has strong feelings about his current dilemma. I can only encourage you to be patient, support your husband ( he feels worse about this than you do) and find a good doctor who can provide good options for treatment.

Z
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welshwales

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Re: New here
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2014, 05:40:21 AM »

Hi jlm. Rest assured that your hubby feels the same way as you do about the deformity of his penis. It's a real turn-off seeing your own penis all malformed, and quite possibly this will contribute to erectile dysfunction. Have you as a couple considered using a VED and cock ring in order to maintain a good solid erection? You need to proactively tackle this problem as a couple. He needs your support and reassurance more than ever right now, as this will go a long way in combatting the psychological aspect of ED. Good luck!
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Jonbinspain

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Re: New here
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2014, 03:01:48 PM »

He needs your support!  For god's sake try to do that!  He needs to know that you don't think him any less of a man because of his condition.

Having said this  the other posters are correct. He needs to get to a specialist, and fast!  This is treatable to an extent where intercourse is still viable.
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LWillisjr

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Re: New here
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2014, 08:23:11 PM »

Jim,
How was he diagnosed with Peyronies, is he seeing a Peyronies specialist? The ED is not necessarily associated with the Peyronies and could be something altogether different. Also, several men on the forum have had implants and are very satisfied with them. An implant will make his erection look normal and will be usable again. The key is find a good doctor and do not give up.
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Les - 10 yrs Peyronies Disease free
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