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Author Topic: Being upfront about Peyronies  (Read 2897 times)

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ohjb1

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Being upfront about Peyronies
« on: May 08, 2012, 04:44:03 PM »

I would appreciate it if some of the woman on this forum could give me some advice.  I developed Peyronies a number of years ago.  At the time I was engaged, but unfortunately the relationship could not survive this illness. It has been a number of years since I have had a girlfriend and want to start going out.  Should a man be upfront about his conditoin at the very beginning of the relationship or should he date a few time and then bring up the topic?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thank 
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jackp

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Re: Being upfront about Peyronies
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2012, 08:47:06 PM »

ohjb1

I am going to give you the same advice that I give single men with an implant. It is not necessary to tell a lady anything until you are ready to become intimate.

Every single man I chat with tell there partner before having sex with them. NONE have ever turned them down. Several have developed into a long term relationship.

Remember the size and/or shape of your penis does not make you a man. Who you are is what counts.

Jackp
http://jackp-penileimplant.blogspot.com/
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HFB

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Re: Being upfront about Peyronies
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2017, 09:34:29 AM »

Perhaps my comment will be a ray of hope for some, esp the gents.  I am writing this in a hurry so it may not be as eloquent as I would like but here it goes.  I have been a "size queen " most of my single years pre and post divorce (my x was avg of about 6-6.5" and reg girth/shape yet uncircumcised).  I am currently within my first relationship experience with a Pey guy yet not new to ED experiencing partners in the last few years as we are all mid-lifers. 

My partner was quick to be forthright about his condition but I am an empathetic person and moreover ADORE this man...Plus he is hot!  I experienced my partner's unit a few times as we rounded third base during our initial dating.  I didn't see it as deformed as penises are very different from guy to guy but his upward curve had my gspot especially intrigued.  Never underestimate a guy with a "curve" as it can be fabulous especially in certain positions and intensities. 

I am glad he told me about Pey sooner rather than later or I may have cranked on it in general plus not been as careful during intercourse.  All guys are different how rough they like to be handled or engaged anyway.  Our relationship is new so we are still exploring each other's sexuality.  I have my own peculiarities that don't make me an effortless orgasm so communication, demonstration and lots of trial and error are part of the process, part of the fun of getting to know one another.  Despite my sex drive still being that of a 20 yr old a relationship certainly isn't only about a penis or sex.  Pey doesn't define a man!

A guy can be a dick or have a dick.  A man is so much more than his penis.  Be confident and an open communicator.  I utilized this joke before ever meeting him pertaining to penises and regarding grabbing dildos/vibrators in the dark from my toybox under my bed or in my nightstand...Life is a box of dicks...You never know what you are going to get;)
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NeoV

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Re: Being upfront about Peyronies
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2017, 06:36:10 PM »

^ exactly!

I tell girls upfront even as an opener, and it somehow takes the burden off you and her. As I've said before, when you show a girl that you don't mind having this disease, you're providing "honest signals" or proof of durability. If Peyronie's can't get you down, what can!? On the other hand, a "perfect" man has everything to lose. This is why beautiful women are often dating overweight or weird looking guys, because these men demonstrate strength by persisting despite their so called issues. If you can show confidence while displaying an issue, then you've won over a lot of men who can't do that.

Last but not least, some of the most beautiful women, including my wife, are attracted to other women, who don't even have penises. My wife says it simply doesn't matter, but I've learned that the hard way by now.
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HFB

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Re: Being upfront about Peyronies
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2017, 11:59:00 PM »

Actually in rethinking how it was presented to me I would have preferred my partner have merely called it a condition vs a "disease" as disease has such a negative connotation.  I guess "condition" seems a lessor bomb to drop?  If I recall correctly he has been through the worst of it with all the emotional and physical pain but I have much to inquire about.  I didn't ask a lot of questions and let him talk so he wouldn't get worried I was gonna grill or dump him.

I think every guy's situation is different depending on what stage of Pey he is in and whether he is dating someone new or informing his existing partner or wife of the conditional.  Some decision making depends upon stage of life too.

I was taken aback how the topic was so nonchalantly introduced to me during a date.
There indeed was a bit to much information presented fastso much so my head was swimming due to overload amidst my haze of infatuation.  It definitely mattered to me that he seemed at ease and accepted his condition and his confidence was high about his being able to please me when we would arrive to that aspect of the relationship.  Not sure if he was nervous, faking confidence or just at peace to be open about it.  One of these days I will ask.

I am very open about sexuality so I wonder if that played a part of his comfort in initiating the topic?  We waited a bit over a month to consemate our relationship.  The waiting was mostly mutual as we wanted to focus on getting to know one another plus wait for the right circumstances to have intercourse aka comfy bed, time, mood music and lingerie.  We wanted to savor one another vs rush.

Our chemistry is undeniable and was such from the moment we laid eyes on one another.  All I know is that I adore this man and that I look forward to learning more about him as a complete person including this condition as it is merely a part of our comprehensive sexual exploration of one another.  Our meeting was fate and our journey will be as long and fulfilling as we allow it. We are falling for one another...Guess we will see if love is in the cards;)
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leebee

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Re: Being upfront about Peyronies
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2017, 05:46:05 AM »

Hi HFB,

You mentioned some positions with a curve are great. Can you tell me which have worked best? I assume your guy has an upward bend as you mention the GSpot.

Thanks!
LeeBee
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