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Author Topic: Which of you has thought to suicide?  (Read 36274 times)

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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #150 on: May 30, 2015, 09:04:16 PM »

Kuaka,

I have to say 25 years tells me your woman is a keeper :)

I honestly don't know what we will be in for since this is new to both of us. I think the visit to the Urologist is the first big step because it is one chosen from the list from this forum so at least it is in the right direction. I have printed so much information from this forum I almost have a book but I feel like I need to have it. I want to know all I can.

My guy asked me the other night what I was doing, I told him I was scanning the Peyronies forum, I asked him, does that bother you, am I getting to personal in your business, and he said to me "No, I think its cool that your there, you might catch something I miss" it was a relief to me that he said that because it made me feel like he was comfortable with my wanting to learn about his disease, he wasn't shying away from me about it like I have read so many members in here do.

Kuaka, all I can suggest to you is be open with your woman, while it seems your plate is overflowing with things try and make the time for just the two of you to be together, tell her things that could be pleasing to you and allow her to do them but find some middle ground. It's pleasing to women to be able to please their men, however that may be. it could be something as simple as a back rub or a massage but if you find it pleasurable we will too.  ;D

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Thisismyusername

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #151 on: June 03, 2015, 09:20:24 AM »

When I got the condition and had really bad chronic pain for a year I thought about it almost every day.  It's been 2 years now and the 2nd year was a lot better, I didn't think about it too much.  But now that my relationship failed I've started thinking about it again.  I'm so angry with my position in life and how everything has turned out.  I've tried so hard and struggled for so long and make incredible progress but despite all that I'm so far from normal.  I think I'll be alone forever and struggling with this for the rest of my life.  What's the point when you are just surviving?  Being strong, staying positive, having hope... these things just help you get by.  I can get by but I can't be happy like this.  So what's the point?  This is not how I envisioned my life.  I don't think I was asking for so much in life, but I can't have even the simple things I wanted.  I'm so incredibly alone. 
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #152 on: June 03, 2015, 11:59:13 AM »

I guess the point...

Is that you aren't alone. We are here for you, no matter what, and I can certainly be emailed any time if day if u just need to talk something through, I would be willing to bet I'm not the only one willing to do that.

Also, wouldn't it be a shame when the right woman comes along, if you aren't here to be with her
 you shouldn't give up.
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kuaka

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #153 on: June 03, 2015, 03:34:11 PM »

Mary, you are a breath of fresh of fresh air.  It is Mary, right?
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #154 on: June 03, 2015, 03:50:41 PM »

Yes,  and thank u but I am only saying what is I my heart.
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Thisismyusername

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #155 on: June 03, 2015, 05:26:20 PM »

Thanks, it's actually good to hear from a woman on this.  Sometimes I don't know what to believe about everything.  But it's worth carrying on.  I have been noticing some improvement, just very slowly.  I hope I can eventually find a woman who will love me and appreciate me despite this.  And I hope I can come to accept my condition so that I can be a strong partner. 
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #156 on: June 03, 2015, 07:04:29 PM »

So okay...

This may be long but Im a woman so you probably expect that  ;) if its to looong and you need to delete it Admin, that's ok.

Since Im a woman I don't have Peyronies so I cant share my Peyronies story with you. In my original post on this particular board I did share that in the last 2 years I had considered suicide but had chosen a different path. While I wont go into the details of why I will share this with you because it relates to this board.

I know the pain of feeling unwanted and unloved, I know what it is like to feel like you don't look like you should or like someone else wants you to or thinks that you should, I know what it is like to be left behind and have someone else chosen over you. I know what it feels like to be ashamed of your body, to not want it to be seen by the opposite sex because you are afraid of what their face will reveal, or that they wont be able to perform and have it not be because of Peyronies disease. I know this pain, the stress that it can bring to your life, the fear that you wont find someone because you are to afraid to trust yourself and them.

Am I all better now? No, not by any means, it's getting better though, I am learning to trust,

What you all need to know is that to the right woman, you are going to be and mean so much more than your penis. and please notice that I said "woman" unfortunately young girls may not understand this knowledge and to be honest they shouldn't however that doesn't make it easier for you young men dealing with Peyronies. For you, you just might have to find a girl that is more mature, No not an old woman like me (hush, no giggling allowed ::) ) but a girl that is mature in mind, someone that you can open up with about the Peyronies and that will be interested in learning and helping if possible like I want to be.

But you have to be here to experience all of that. If you decide to check out one day because of this...... you could be missing out on a lifetime of happiness with the one person you have been waiting for all this time. every day I believe a little more that I am worth being here. Im thankful that I chose to stay on this earth. And I hope that my being here in this group will help you to see that you are worth staying on this earth too. I will be your biggest cheerleader (I'm old and cant do cartwheels anymore but I'm loud... I'm Italian LOL)

And yes I know.... one of you are going to say, "you don't know, you haven't walked in my shoes" you're right. I'm not a man, I don't have a penis, but any woman worth any amount of your time, will love you faults and all, but before that can happen you have to learn to love yourself faults and all other wise you will never be able to let that right woman in. 

So the next time you think about checking out, take 10 minutes and ask yourself, have I really taken the time to love myself so that someone else can love me too. If you haven't, you might start there, it might not be the other persons fault, and yes I AM speaking from experience.

Okay handsome men, enjoy your evening.  :)
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wonderbread1662

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #157 on: June 04, 2015, 06:49:22 AM »

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your views on this condition Stabler. We don't get a lot of female opinions on here so seeing your post made my day. Although you don't have peyronie's I can relate to a lot of what you had to say. Depression and the feeling of not being good enough to be loved was present long before I developed this condition.

It's nice to know that my feelings towards this condition and just in general, are not limited to just myself. It takes a lot of dedication and heart to comment on a forum that doesn't directly effect you. Heck I don't comment on female oriented forums haha. Let alone make a post that long and heart felt to help others see in a different light. I just wanted to say thanks as it has made me feel better and I'm sure others as well. It's nice to know there are woman out there that feel the way as you do.

I find it admirable that you are willing to work with your partner through this and to grow as a couple. I hope that in time I will be able to love and accept me, to the point that I could love someone else, as unconditionally as I would want to be loved myself.
 
 
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #158 on: June 04, 2015, 07:36:56 AM »

Good Morning Wonderbread :) (love the name)

I am glad my post helped you feel better. Another good reason that I stayed on this earth.

Have a great Day!!
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FightYourWayThroughIt

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #159 on: June 08, 2015, 05:00:02 PM »

I think it's inevitable to have these thoughts with such a condition. Ultimately, what we want is a loving partner and a family, which seems impossible to us - who would ever want this? we all think.
These thoughts irrationally overcloud our minds and I emphasize that these thoughts are irrational! I think it's natural for a man to feel hopeless and pointless without sufficient manhood - It's part of our nature I suppose - but we have to acknowledge as Stabler67 thankfully points out that a penis isn't everything in a relationship. We have to remember that tonnes of people suffer dysfunctional relationships and unhappy lives without messed up penis' - other things count more than we let our animalistic subconscious' think.
Also, as UrsusMinor says, much, much worse could happen. I suppose it's not until you are in the position where worse is happening for you to really appreciate that Peyronies isn't as life debilitating as we first think, but you have to try and recognise that you could be paralysed, you could be blind, you could be deaf, but hopefully this isn't the case, and I think Peyronies is nothing in comparison with issues such as those. Sex is so temporary - most of our happiness and enjoyment comes from other things in life like friendships and sports and all sorts of things us physically able can enjoy. We shouldnt take the simple things like being able to walk, see and listen for granted, because these are far more valuable and rewarding things than a penis. Peyronies doesn't affect day to day activity hugely (apologies for those this doesn't apply to with constant pain from the condition) - it can be forgotten, albeit briefly, as you get on with your day. blindness and paralysis for example, cannot be forgotten, they are forever there.
you can probably tell by my username that suicide has been a contemplation for me, and just viewing life as a fight really helps me deal with it.
Yet, surprisingly, thoughts of suicide also help me deal with things - not serious contemplation, but knowing its there if need be. if things really do become unbearable, you do not have to worry, you are not trapped in this life. There is always the release. Why now though? things may always get better. treat life like a video game - no matter how many mistakes you make, or no matter how hard it is you usually keep on going, determined to pull it together. Only when you realise that it is impossible or that there is nowhere to get in the game do you quit, thus I say leave suicide as the last resort when you can somewhat be certain life needs to come to a halt, and I do not deem Peyronies to be such a deciding factor.

Now to look at an even brighter side - you do not have to accept Peyronies as your eternal curse! 3 piece penile implants look even better than having a normal penis. Malleable ones and 2 piece look like they should be avoided as they cause tissue distrophy and are supposedly not that comfortable, but 3 piece implants do not lead to any distrophy and seem to allow people to have naturally feeling and looking flaccid and erect states. I mean, if anything, you can see Peyronies as a blessing in disguise to bring us to this wonderful opportunity - no more unexpected, unwanted erections as you control when you have an erection, and no need to fear sex as there is no awfully vulnerable corpus whatever it is that forms our penis' and is so ridiculously weak! think of the pros with sex too - even if you finish when you dont really want to, you can keep going, you can maintain the erection for as long as you like. Obviously there is the issue of cost, but the price is a few thousand pounds which I find to be so so worth it and not much in light of other life changing operations.

Indeed! there is light at the end of the tunnel  :)
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Thisismyusername

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #160 on: July 28, 2015, 09:59:46 PM »

FightYourWayThroughIt, I found your post very wise.  I really do try to remind myself that my life is good in many ways, and things could be so much worse.  I was watching the sopranos and in one episode there was a quote, supposedly an Ojibwe saying, "Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky" which I think is often true about my life. 

For me I am struggling with pelvic pain every day and that is the hardest part right now.  I think that might be the biggest thing which prevents me from trying to date again right now.  Of course there is fear of reinjury too, and the pain during sex. 

I really want to find someone to love me and accept me for who I am.  I hope that can happen eventually. 
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kuaka

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #161 on: July 29, 2015, 12:22:09 PM »

Life itself should not be taken for granted.  I died 33 years ago...obviously not permanently, but enough to know that the death of the body is NOT the end of existence.  "We" continue long after that.  Ultimately, the eternal nature of our existence is open to interpretation, but I believe it.
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Jay0330

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #162 on: February 23, 2016, 08:10:29 PM »

Agreed.  Imagine if one of the men who has seen fairly impressive impressive improvement through Xiaflex had ended his life in say the summer of 2013, right before Xiaflex was approved by the FDA. Would be a true shame. You just never know what the fates will bring if you power through adversity as best you are able.

Nemo

whos to say he wouldve been able to afford the procedures?
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Jimbruski

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #163 on: February 27, 2016, 11:38:14 AM »

Depression is an extremely lonely condition.  I've best heard it described as "complete insignificance".
My suicide attempt hurt so many people around me that having to heal those relationships really opened my eyes to the value of those relationships.
And all of this was before ED and Peyronies.
I'm happy to share my story and my climb back out of depression either here or by PM.

Jimbruski
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #164 on: February 27, 2016, 12:32:00 PM »

Depression is a dangerous thing for the most part because as Jimbruski said its lonely, it makes you make yourself lonely. No matter how much better you would be to surround yourself with others, you dont. Yes, I am speaking from experience.

I will share something with you. I used to believe that people that committed suicide were weak, that they should have known or seen that there were other options, and then I found out that my husband had been having an affair. I tried to save my marriage, offered my forgiveness, counseling but I was told that I just wasnt what he wanted. (Enter depression) Now I was given no excuse or reason for the affair even though I asked, so I was left thinking it was something I had done or not done that led him astray, that it was my fault. I went to a place that I pray I never go to again, I separated myself from my family and friends, I spoke to no one went no where.

One night I was sitting at home and I was thinking for what seemed like hours that there was really nothing left to go on for. I couldnt keep or save a marriage of 22 years together and he wouldnt even tell me what it was I had done wrong. I thought if it was just all over I would not have to feel this pain anymore, the pain was so strong, mental pain, physical pain it was every part of me and I just wanted it to stop and then it hit me.... this is why people commit suicide, it isnt because they are weak, it is because they just want the pain to stop, they dont want to feel the agony of what they are going through anymore. I felt so bad for having felt like I did about suicide victims, I sat there for I dont know how long and then thought of my son.

My son is the light of my world, maybe the biggest mammas boy on earth and the first one to admit it  ;D but I didnt want to leave him behind to have to deal with the fact that I had left him to pick up the pieces of my life and then try and put his back together because of my choice. He does not know about that night, he does not know that he saved my life, but it is because of him that I am here today.

Depression is very dangerous and that is why I always offer to msg with the members of this forum if they feel they are in a bad place, I can be reached anytime by PM or email and have been several times since Ive joined the forum. I want you all to know that I am here to get you through a tough time if you find yourself there.

Stabler67
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kuaka

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #165 on: February 27, 2016, 05:30:39 PM »

In our over sexualized society to have an impairment of our sexuality...making us less than a man...is indeed a depressing situation.  I've thought of ending it, as I'm sure most in our position have at one time or another.  The truth is, there are medical advances all the time, and there is the possibility of finding the already existing treatment which works for you.  To give up is a tragedy.  Furthermore, there is actually much more to life than just sex.

I have successfully saved my daughter's life.  My work has paid her medical bills and I've found a treatment which is not only affordable but very effective for her condition.  If I had ended it before doing so, she would be dead too.  The destruction of other's I would have left behind would be huge.  No matter how much I am tired of my personal battle, my life is not "just" mine.  I am central to the very existence of many. 

Furthermore, a cure for my own condition may indeed be just around the corner.  To give up just because I'm tired is unthinkable.
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QuackAttack

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #166 on: February 27, 2016, 11:27:56 PM »

I think Jim said it very well in that it hurt so many people. My perspective is this is the most selfish thing anybody can do because of the pain it causes the people around you. Moreover, if successful, you can never ask for forgiveness, so the people that do care about you can't forgive you because you haven't asked for it.
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james1947

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #167 on: February 28, 2016, 12:16:32 PM »

Quote
My perspective is this is the most selfish thing anybody can do because of the pain it causes the people around you
Very true QuackAttack
Quote
No matter how much I am tired of my personal battle, my life is not "just" mine.  I am central to the very existence of many. 
Very true kuaka

And also take in consideration how much they will blame themselves for what you have done, a selfish and coward thing!!!

James
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Jonbinspain

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #168 on: February 28, 2016, 03:37:54 PM »

I think it's difficult to criticise, we're all different. We have no idea what else is going on, or has happened in other people's lives. In some cases the onset of a Peyronies may just be the last straw to some guy.

Everybody's 'despair level' is different. Personally, I would only fight this, as I have done for 4+ years, but then I don't have too many other distractions or major problems in my life.
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Jimbruski

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #169 on: February 28, 2016, 10:24:47 PM »

Thanks Jonbinspain,

Although a person suffering depression may appear selfish or cowardly, it would be absolutely wrong to ever tell a depressed person that's how they are acting.  Depression doesn't allow rational, cognitive thinking.

The best that we can do is BE THERE if they need help.  The warning signs of depression are H (hungry) A ( angry) L (lonely) T (tired),  HALT!!  This is where depression lives.

Jimbruski
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peyronny

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #170 on: February 29, 2016, 01:35:59 AM »

I'd be lying if said I never thought of it.

But I don't think I've ever really considered it, if that makes sense.
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Dros

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #171 on: February 29, 2016, 04:45:07 PM »

Obviously there are several factors and depression is a complicated condition, but there is no way that Peyronie's should bring you to the point of contemplating suicide. There are loads of options and the treatment options will get better. Maybe I'm lucky, because I have virtually no pain. On the other hand I have a curve of around 60 degrees and have no partner, so this condition definitely sucks. However, giving up seems insane. You are not your dick!
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csm101

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #172 on: October 09, 2016, 04:31:35 PM »

Lets just say, I cant take my own life....But if I were to pass in my sleep that would be fine by me
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Barnum

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #173 on: October 16, 2016, 01:43:34 AM »

I am 58 years old and suffer from anxiety disorder, depression and agoraphobia and now peyronies. I am not sure I could actually kill myself, but I do feel as though in some way I am already dead. The one thing I had that got me through the anxiety, depression and agoraphobia was having a passionate sex life. Now that seems as if that may soon be history. If I was 78 it may not matter to me so much, but I am in a relatively new relationship of just 3 years. Our love life has slowed down greatly through the progression of the peyronies. The curvature has reached 90 degrees and that has made my attempt to initiate sex impossible causing me to feel simply less. Doctors I have seen have given me no real hope of a return to normal. Their attitude has been anything less than encouraging. If this is another life sentence for me, I don't think I can cope. She is understanding and tells me that see really isn't bothered and that her desire for sex has decreased because of her own issues, but I can't help but believe its because of the peyronies. I see a therapist for the other disorders, but haven't brought this one to his attention yet. I will, but I am not sure what he can do. The urologists I have seen were not helpful and just looked at me with confused looks. I am about to lose it.
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NeoV

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #174 on: October 16, 2016, 03:37:06 AM »

You've come to the right place Barnum.

The only real solution is deep commitment, meaning you do everything in your power to stop Peyronie's from progressing. The most painful aspect of most physical disorders is being in a state of unknowing and helplessness. Once you do everything you can do, things feel much better even if your penis is still bent.

Everything I do, from coffee and blueberries in the morning, to the hot rice sock on my penis right now, is part of my commitment to it. I stretch my penis in front of my wife, and order the supplements with her. It's all just part of who I am, she knows it, I know it, and if anything it makes our sex life better, because I am committed to it and maintain a positive attitude.

I know how hard this can be, and in relationships foundations are truly key. If you did not bring up Peyronie's when the relationship started, it can be hard to re-establish yourself within that relationship later. I know it can feel like an uphill battle trying to fight for your masculinity, but this is all we've got and life is limited. As I've said before, even a man without a penis could be happy and enjoy "sex." I live each day for those even worse off than I am, the "man without a penis" is somewhat of my imaginary super hero. When I'm down I think of him, how he would exist in this world each day.

Anyway, 90 degrees is rough, but you have options! You can treat it!
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LeeBee69

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #175 on: October 16, 2016, 08:17:18 PM »

Dear Tom,

I contracted T2 Diabetes when I was 36...I read all the internet and decided I would be dead or horribly maimed in a few years. At that point I had the beginnings of neuropathy in my toe that can lead to amputation, an exploded artery was found in my eye, the beginning of retinopathy and blindness...11 years on Doctors do not believe I am diabetic, I am fit and healthy, mostly and have better blood tests than most. That's due to lot's of research, not accepting what the medical community say but above all discovering the limitless inner strength we all have. Now I have Peyronies, the beginings of Dupytrens and even Plantar fibroma in my foot. I moved to the other side of the world and my relationship broke up and am alone here. But I know I will prevail. I have the strength as you do to get through this and I promise you will be stronger as a result. What ever your beliefs in life I am confident that it's not meant to be peaches and cream, without hardship there's no growth. There's a saying that the ancient greeks would have done nothing if it were not for the wind. It means that we need the hardships in our lives to drive us...night goes with day, there are no mountains without valleys...and so on.

I am not defined by my penis.

Practically I would suggest meditation, getting outside and into nature and away from EMF and such like. Get sun on your skin. Try cold thermogenesis - proven to reduce depression.

Best,
LeeBee
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Jimbruski

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #176 on: October 16, 2016, 08:30:00 PM »

Barnum,

You are a carbon copy of myself with respect to disorders.  Anxiety, depression, unexplained fears, and Peyronies.  The difference between us at this point is that I tackled my disorders and with the help of others and medication I am "on top of the world".

See a good psychologist and psychiatrist for your mood disorders.  For your Peyronies get to a good urologist.  If you are bent 90 degrees and your urologist can't explain it then you need a new urologist.  Listen to the others who have posted and take control of your situation.  If you do you'll find that the Peyronies can be managed.

Good luck and continue to post as your journey with Peyronies continues.

Jimbruski
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Barnum

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #177 on: October 28, 2016, 12:53:42 AM »

I don't know. When we first were together about three and a half years ago, our love life was great. When the peyronies started about one year ago sex started to slow down to the point now where I feel it is just a maintenance thing for her. She says her sex drive is low and has nothing to do with the peyronies, but they both seem to have arrived simultaneously. She says she always had a low sex drive, but I recall a women with a more than healthy one a year or two ago. Sex to me is a way two people express their love and passion for each other. When this slows down or becomes maintenance, what does that say about your relationship? I feel as if she is afraid to truly say what is on her mind. I think in some way she feels dependent on me in a financial and maybe an emotional way, but I can't help feel something has gone. She does suffer from social anxiety as well as PTSD. I have a hard time talking about it with her because she gets angry and blames herself and threatens to do harm to herself. Every night when we go to bed I lay there knowing she is next to me and I feel attracted to her, but I do not dare initiate anything for fear of rejection or the simple fact of not being able to. So I lay there awake feeling unsatisfied, alone, undesirable and lost. I believe she cares about me, I'm just not sure how much anymore. If she did eventually leave me once she was financial secure, I sure I would be alone, because I don't think any woman would want such psychological and physically damaged goods. I don't think I hav e the guts to kill myself, but I'm sure the loneliness would eventually finish the job. When my first wife died five and a half years ago after nearly 30 years together I thought I would die, but after a while I felt as though I could start a new relationship. The peyronies has taken that option away. If something doesn't improve in the near future with either the relationship or the peyronies I not sure what will become of me. I am really getting tired.
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james1947

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #178 on: October 28, 2016, 03:57:06 AM »

Barnum

You wrote:
Quote
I sure I would be alone, because I don't think any woman would want such psychological and physically damaged goods.
&
Quote
....I felt as though I could start a new relationship. The peyronies has taken that option away.
Both sentences are wrong.
I am sure from experience that have many woman that will be happy with you as you are. You need just to make an effort to find one. Not easy but can be done.
Sent you a PM

James
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Stabler67

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #179 on: October 28, 2016, 07:15:58 AM »

Barnum.....
James is right...... It can be done.

Giving your wife the benefit of the doubt, it is possible that she simply has a lower sex drive and with her anxiety and PTSD issues if she is taking any medication for those, that too can effect her sex drive. A healthy marriage can work with less actual sex and replace it with simple intimacies, hand holding, romantic walks finding something that you both enjoy that you can do together. You cant let the sex be what makes or breaks your marriage.

That being said.....
If for some reason she would leave, you have no reason to think that you wouldn't be able to find a relationship/love again. There are women, good women that know how to love unconditionally. Please dont give up hope.

Stabler67
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james1947

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #180 on: November 01, 2016, 07:41:05 AM »

Quote
There are women, good women that know how to love unconditionally.
YES Stabler :) And they are many of them :)

James
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Dros

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #181 on: November 20, 2016, 06:23:43 AM »

2+ months after corrective surgery and I'm having the time of my life (mostly completely non-related to Peyronie's and my sex-life)! I'm not (yet?) cured, but I'm able to have normal sex again, and I don't have to worry about this thing during the day. It's become more of an afterthought. There will be a fix eventually, and Peyronie's might actually make you happier in the longer term, given that you'll appreciate the little things much more. So hang in there! :-)
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Paolo

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #182 on: November 20, 2016, 03:13:10 PM »

Dros,

German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche: “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” It turns out that he was right  :) :)
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Richard Hertz

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #183 on: December 16, 2016, 09:40:00 PM »

Suicide because of a bend penis?!

Um, no.
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peyronny

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #184 on: January 12, 2017, 05:26:26 AM »

For many of us it's much more than a bend though.

I have seemingly chronic pain with no end in sight. I have a more positive attitude than before, but I still have have to wonder if this will ever really even improve at all. I'm focusing everything on just losing weight now so that I will be less prone to injury hopefully.


It's really a bittersweet feeling for me, my weightloss. I'm around 250 now, I've lost well over 200 pounds, used to be close to 500. But I don't feel any happier than I did when I was that ridiculous weight.
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Paolo

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #185 on: January 12, 2017, 10:02:22 AM »

peyronny, seriously you need a BIG high five, if I read that right you have lost 14 stone!, with every pound lost you are helping yourself from heart disease, cancer and diabetes.

I hope your weight and emotions continue to improve, it is nice to see you posting  :)
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JayGould

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #186 on: May 05, 2017, 10:04:35 PM »

Every hour, every day.  :(
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kuaka

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #187 on: May 18, 2017, 11:15:46 PM »

Hang in there Jay.  Medical improvements continually.  We may hear tomorrow about a new and effective treatment.
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james1947

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #188 on: May 19, 2017, 06:54:38 AM »

Hi Kuaka

Long time didn't hear from you :)
How is your Peyronies?

James
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Jack1909

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #189 on: May 25, 2017, 01:22:54 AM »

I've been thinking of it for 10 years..
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Jack1909

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #190 on: May 25, 2017, 05:17:46 AM »

Every day it looks like I'm getting closer to it..
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kuaka

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #191 on: May 26, 2017, 06:10:44 PM »

James.  Thanks for asking.  I am stable as far as this dreaded condition is concerned.  My life is still pretty much consumed with keeping my daughter alive at this point.  I have zero extra time or money to devote to my own issues.  Hanging on for now.
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Christopher1

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #192 on: May 27, 2017, 05:49:12 PM »

Hang in there, gentlemen.

Medicine is advancing.

james1947

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #193 on: May 28, 2017, 09:10:11 PM »

Kuaka

Wish your daughter will get better :)
Keep on going, you are doing the right thing!

James
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NeoV

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #194 on: May 29, 2017, 09:47:00 AM »

I only had ideas about suicide once, when my penis was bent nearly 360 degrees after masturbating. I remember crying very hard and then just having this overpowering silence. In that silence I somehow just let go, and there was nothing bad, nothing terrible waiting for me, I just accepted it. It was a powerful moment for me.

While I understand how hard it can be, I think wanting to kill yourself is a premature idea. One can live their entire life unaware of certain ideas, mental models, or thoughts, that could literally save them. I always try to remember this, that at any given time, there is SOMETHING I am unaware of, some key idea, that could radically alter my way of living. As long as you want to have a good life, and never give up, I think there is always path to happiness.

It's very hard for me to talk about this, since I am sexually functional, and I know many guys aren't or are hardly at all. I still have daily moments where I look at my penis and just feel very bad, but I am still a lucky one who does not have a major deformity when erect at this point. Still, when I do see the bend when flaccid or while getting an erection I try to return to the kind of silence I found before: a non-judgmental commitment to action.

Just do not forget, there are people who need you. We need you here at the forums, no matter how dire your situation. Stay with us, we will figure this out. There must be a way to move forward and love life.
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Patman

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Re: Which of you has thought to suicide?
« Reply #195 on: August 09, 2017, 04:48:42 PM »

thinking more and more
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