Unable to cope

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taller

I'm 23 now. This is happening on top of schizophrenia, depression, bipolar, PTSD, and panic disorder so crippling that I can hardly even drive a car to leave the house.Masturbation, was the only way I was ale to cope with this, but it seems I was going too frequently. I had absolutely zero idea this could happen. It's tearing me apart. The only redeeming thought to my life was that some day I might enter a romantic relationship, but even that seems lost now. I get thoughts of suicide too, but hopeful thinking of getting a prosthetic sometimes chase it away even though I don't know how I would ever afford one. Some nights now, I cry a lot, or self-harm for my inability to control myself, feeling that it'ss my own fault that things are getting worse. Ive been in the acute phase for about 7 months now. I'm often able to get by pain free, but after a few days of abstinence I sometimes relapse and have up to 3 wanks a day. The pain doesn't always come on if I just do it once, but the pain will usually come on the next day or so and last a few days if I overdo it. I always worry that this will be the time that the pain doesn't go away like it usually does. My 2 inch long dent is only somewhat noticeable on the left side, extending down to the urethra where I got a hypospadias correction. In the past week though, I started to get the sensation of rushing fluid in a tight space, like if you were to push water between your tongue and the top of your mouth, but it goes away after getting a few erections only to come back the next morning. I just want to know where I stand, in comparison to others. Depression has left me starving and underweight, which I've seen a few people here say that they've had positive results with fasting. I started with pento, but laid off for several months because habits and responsibilities have been rough. I tried traction, but it hrts for some reason and the first time I went an hour the pain didn't go away for a week. Manual stretching doesn't hurt much though. I tried H-100, but besides pain reduction I wouldn't know if it was working well because I wasn't having noticeable progression to begin with. I tried mixing topical verapamil with emu oil as an alternative but it dries and clumps up after application for some reason. Really don't know what to do. Even just having someone here to hold me would make it so much easier, but all my friends are out of state and I regularly get to depressed to even talk to them. Been stuck in a room for about 5 years now, trying to get on disability. Get the feeling there's a poor chance my first application will go through. The idea of getting out of gran's house and at least starting my own life dims. I'm going to burn my youthful years, what should have been my best years, floundering in mental and physical agony. Only things keeping me from ending it are some glimmer of hope that things will turn out okay, and the thought of disappointing my grandma.  
Age 23, symptoms started almost a year, only treating with topical H-100 for obvious yet hard-to-quantify benefits, as well as WoundVite. Extremely sensitive to further injury/irritation, but progression of hourglassing is extremely slow.

TonySa

Hi guy, you've found a good place for support.  Getting on disability so that you have insurance is key.  Disability applications are more likely to go through if you're getting treatment such as fir crippling depression and schizophrenia.  Have you been able to sign up for medical-cal in your state?  Also be sure to read the survival guide here.  Peyronies Survival Guide - Information for New Members - Peyronies Society Forums Please keep us posted,
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

taller

Went to meet with the psych a month ago and he pretty much called all my diagnosis into question. "Convoluted" case. Low expectations. Was supposed to fill out paperwork for food and medical benefits, but been too depressed. Pathetic.
Age 23, symptoms started almost a year, only treating with topical H-100 for obvious yet hard-to-quantify benefits, as well as WoundVite. Extremely sensitive to further injury/irritation, but progression of hourglassing is extremely slow.

TonySa

Hi guy, just try to take it one step at s time and go easy on yourself.  What's one small step you could do today regarding your medical paperwork?
PxD 2 yrs 9/16.  Failed all treatment. 9/11/18: excision, grafting & implant Dr Karpman MtnView Ca, AMS CX 18cm + 3-1cm RTEs.
Pump failed.  2/11/20 Dr Karpman installed Titan 22cm +1cm RTE.

taller

I could fill out a page, but every time I think about it i almost burst into tears. hardly even shower or brussh my teeth once a week. Exercise so little my heart skips beats now. Nothing that won't distract me from reality. Video games, usually.  
Age 23, symptoms started almost a year, only treating with topical H-100 for obvious yet hard-to-quantify benefits, as well as WoundVite. Extremely sensitive to further injury/irritation, but progression of hourglassing is extremely slow.

Bubba dawg

You should find you a caring therapist. Learn to change the way you think. All that negative thinking is bringing you down. Therapist are trained to help you look at things differently. You can actually think yourself into a depression.
Ya this is a horrible disease but its not the end of the world. See about getting grants for Xiaflex when you go to a Urologist. Take charge of your life and get help
5 Rounds of Xiaflex. Good results.

I am known to give out false information and post nonsense with little to no evidence to back up my claims.
I have ignored several warnings. Further reports to the moderators or Administrators and I will be banned.

taller

The urologist who even cared to diagnose me is two hours away in the big city. That's where all the good docs are. Wish I could drive there myself. The local one doesn't even think I have peyronies despite the diagnosis, but prescribes some of the meds that I request anyways. He almost seems annoyed by it. I'll ask about it the next time I visit. Thanks for the suggestion.  
Age 23, symptoms started almost a year, only treating with topical H-100 for obvious yet hard-to-quantify benefits, as well as WoundVite. Extremely sensitive to further injury/irritation, but progression of hourglassing is extremely slow.

Fix This

That's really sad to read mate. It must be so hard dealing with this and all of the other issues you have without any local support or help.

Don't give up hope man . The fact that you're young also means that your body will likely heal better and quicker than us older guys once you start treating. I agree with the others , you definitely need to speak to someone about the mental health issues. The depression and everything else is going to stop you moving forward with tackling the peyronies. And it needs to be a continuous effort with most conservative peyronies treatments. Like every day for months in order for them to work. So you need to remember to keep doing it every day which at the moment, sounds as though you might not.

There is treatment out there, it's just a case of getting to see any of the right people or accessing the right tools.   VED is definitely worth looking into as a conservative treatment. It's recently started working for me after a few months. Although I've been doing lots of other things too so probably a combined improvement. Maybe worth enquiring if there's another uroligist locally that you can transfer too for now?

If you can get on the disability as TonySa says then I think that would be a massive thing. So I would focus as much as you can on getting that paperwork done. Set yourself a goal over a week maybe. Do a page a day or something? Ask Gran or a family member if she can help maybe?

I would possible ease off a bit on the masturbation if you're getting pain. But I'm sure a little but is ok to keep the blood flowing. You could try just taking ibuprofen for now? Anti inflamatory. Or apply ibuprofen gel ( if you can buy it there ) direct to the penis.

I am close with people who've had quite bad mental health issues . I know how crippling and debilitating any mental health issues can be. Just getting one thing done in a day can seem impossible . And now you have Peyronies to deal with too. But if you just focus on one step at a time, little by little - paperwork first maybe?

You're young, you've pretty much got your whole life ahead of you still , don't worry. You can beat this, and when you do, you'll appreciate having your fully functional weapon much more than you would have otherwise!

Stay strong mate. Step by step. Just keep or start moving in the right direction with this. We're all here on this forum . You're not alone
47 , penis trauma July 2018 leading to Peyronies. 30-40 degree dorsal curvature, narrowing after plaque. 

I'm attacking it though, and I will fix this!

VED, traction, DMSO, Ultrasound, Acupuncture, meds, herbs

NeoV

You should a lot like me ten years ago. I had panic disorder and the works as well.

Today I am 100% good, no anxiety, no panic, no Peyronie's. Don't give up, take the right steps. There are clear steps to beating the disease, so simply make the right choices and stay positive. Meditate, exercise, and eat well, and do what works here on the forums.