I'm jumpjustin. Just diagnosed. Sex life=over?

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jumpjustin

Hello, everyone.

I just had the initial appointment with the urologist. My suspicions were correct. Peyronie's.

Prior to my appt, I had been using a traction device, restorex, but last night, I got an erection and noticed that my condition had worsened. Could this be a result of the traction? Things were definitely different since my last time. Hourglass flaccid stuff. I think I'm going to pause my 2x a day traction regimen. I have an ultrasound on 12/26 and I'm hopeful that Cigna will cover Xiaflex--its super expensive. $20,000 was the number my doc threw out there!!! Hope my curvature is 30 degrees. Might be like a 28 to the left... "OMAHA 28 LEFT! OMAHA!"

To make matters worse, I'm going through a divorce/separation. I'm still in love with the woman who is the mother of my small children. BUT--She's been sexual with someone else this year, and NOW they're becoming more like boyfriend/girlfriend. She just told me they took my kids to the zoo the other day. Ouch. Hey--at least she's with someone with fully operational equipment. I have struggled through an ocean of heartbreak and jealousy and finally feeling those things begin to clear....

I think my sex life might just be over. And another relationship??! That's gonna be hard (actually--bad pun. It's NOT gonna be hard, it's gonna be soft and curved and weird. A condom? Forget it... I don't think I could achieve penetration in any case).

The positive here is that I'm finding peace through doing my Buddhist practices of chanting and accepting reality. Life on life's terms at all times. My discipline is to believe that universe must know what its doing. I'm learning through all of this not to reach for the fantasy of a relationship or sex to address whatever emotional or spiritual need I might actually have. That has been my life pattern: fantasy of relationship and then sacrifice everything to the woman I feel will do that.

Its not like I haven't had a full life...lots of sex already, lots of family. I'm 45 and have 4 kids with 3 different women. Probably time to be alone for a good long time. I have some women friends that are interested, but I don't think I can deliver anyway....

I have a good group of guys that I call on a daily basis about recovering from this break up. But I'm feeling like I need some extra camaraderie and support about this Peyronie's issue. That's why I'm posting on this forum. Does anyone have words of wisdom or encouragement? Information or feedback? Can anyone share what it's like to suffer with this disease and be a middle-aged divorced guy with kids?  

Stabler

Well first,

Welcome to the forum you are in the right place. Second, it seems that you are dealing with a couple big issues at the same time so let us help with the Peyronies. Since you have been to the urologist already, our priority is to make sure that they are a specialist in Peyronies so that you get the proper treatment and guidance. Cigna does, generally speaking, cover Xialfex but requires an authorization and your doctors office will need to initiate that.

As for your sex life, please don't give up on that so quickly, If you are just starting out with any kind of treatment at all it is not a fast process so use the forum for information and ask questions.

I will be sending you a PM with links through the forum to help find things, if you have any questions please feel free to msg me.

Stabler
Moderator since 2015- Missouri- I work in the medical field and have strong knowledge of insurance and how to obtain coverage for medication and other treatments. Being a woman I do not have Peyronies but you can ask me anything. I am happy to help.

Hawk

Welcome to the forum and I second everything that Stabler said.  Women want intimacy and a good man.  You can provide both even without a functional penis.

In addition, you can get a functional penis if you want one badly enough to research and jump through the hoops.  You do not mention the degree of bend, where on the penis it is located, or the degree of ED.

For instance, if you have a 45-degree bend and TOTAL Ed you can be fixed with one outpatient surgery with an implant.  If you only have partial ED then you can concentrate on correcting the bend.

You should start by reading this more than once. Peyronies Survival Guide - Information for New Members - Peyronies Society Forums

Good luck.
Hawk
Prostatectomy 2004, radiation 2009, currently 70 yrs old
After pills, injections, VED - Dr Eid, Titan 22cm implant 8/7/18
Hawk - Updated 10/27/18 - Peyronies Society Forums

Bubba dawg

First thing is to not start treating yourself. You need a Peyronies doctors supervision. I don't think Calcified plaque is going to bend without some kind of softening agent like Xiaflex etc. You may be able to bend it but it won't stay that way. Experimenting can get you in trouble.
Erection problems can be mental as well as a physical problem. Loss of confidence. Low Testosterone, Depression, anxiety, illness, etc can effect your erections. You should see a GP to rule out any physical problems.
Take care of yourself before worrying about women. Sad but many relationships just reach a dead end. Plenty of other women out there. Just get yourself healthy mentally and physically first.
Your sex life is far from over. Several treatments out there. Get grant money. Use Insurance. Where there is a will there is a way. You just have to have the will and patients to get it done.  
5 Rounds of Xiaflex. Good results.

I am known to give out false information and post nonsense with little to no evidence to back up my claims.
I have ignored several warnings. Further reports to the moderators or Administrators and I will be banned.