A new perspective. Didnt know how lucky I was

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Ds300

When I first started getting sexual problems I initially had a venous leak and it devasted me. I would think about it all day long and would sometimes cry about it. I then months later diacovered i have a small dent in my penis. I was devasted because I am stuck with ed at the age of 19. I would constantly say to myself my life is over what am I going to do. I hated life but I never seriously considered suicide. A month ago I tried mdma\ extacy a very small amount. The day after i came down with severe depression and severe mental problems. Unable to concentrate and no interest in anything like music and severe headaches. Unable to concentrate at all as well. The main problem is unable to experience happiness. It has been a month and it has not gotten better. There is evidence online that i have done permanent damage. Unfortunately some people cannot metabolize mdma. I would trade anything to go back to my normal self with peyronies. When I look back at it it really wasnt bad at all and that i was just making a big deal about it. Your ability to experience happiness and enjoy life is infinitely more important than a veinous leak. Unfortunately my emotions are blunted in this state. You only have one life if you need an implant to have sex just get it. It wont make you less of a man. In my situation i would trade anything to go back to my normal life with a veinous leak but i cant. I assure you as well all my symptoms are caused by the mdma because this is unlike any feeling i have ever felt. Dont ruin your life with drugs it took only first time trying them for me. If my symptoms dont improve i wont be here much longer.
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Pfract

Hey man... Calm down and seek help. Try to find a specialist that helps you out and listens and try to reach out for some counseling on depression... There is hope!  

JS1991

Bro relax you're not stuck like that lol. I've done a massive amount of mdma and I can assure you, things will be back to normal. You're not "unable to metabolize" mdma, you would have most likely died if that was the case. If you imagine your brain's serotonin supply as a faucet that drips, you just completely opened it up and flooded out your whole supply and are now slowly building it back up from zero. To be thrust back into life with Peyronie's in that state is rough and could contribute to it becoming a bad cycle of thoughts, which is why I implore you to think positive.

If your headaches start getting really bad or if you have any other crazy effects, seek medical help. Maybe seek medical help regardless to ease your mind. But I honestly think you'll be good.
Do your homework before attempting a prolonged fast. JS1991 Timeline - Peyronies Society Forums (updated)

Ds300

The reason why this seems like neurotoxicity as opposed to low serratonin is because it hase been 5 weeks with little improval if it was just low serratonin it would be a matter of days before it rebuilds itself to normal levels. Have you expierienced long term issues after usage?
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skunkworks

It depends on the person, back in the day when I took it I bounced back pretty quick as did most of my friends. But one guy just couldn't take it because he would be laid out emotionally for a couple months afterwards. Most likely it has something to do with the rate of production and elimination, which would be specific to the individual and also involve environmental factors.

Have a read - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/

Get out in the sun and do some exercise.

Maybe even a short course of one of the short acting old school antidepressants like Prozac would be worth a shot?
This is an emotionally destructive condition, we all have it, let's be nice to each other.

Review of current treatment options by Levine and Sherer]

Pfract

There you go man... You have some people here that understand you, and also been through MDMA, so you can reach out and above all else, give it time and research about it.  

Ds300

Hey skunkworks thanks for the a article ill definitely try those do you remember how many months it took them? Im pretty low right now also have difficulty sleeping that i never had before.
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Ds300

Im also on celexa an ssri which seems to be helping slightly
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Ds300

It does not seem like i just need my serratonin levels to rise because they would have at least somewhat risen after a month
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skunkworks

That's just the depression talking. Your seratonin levels will have risen somewhat over a month, just not enough yet.

Problem is when people are depressed they stop doing the things that help raise seratonin, getting enough sleep, getting out in the sun, doing exercise, eating good food.

I can't remember exactly how long it took my friend to get back to normal, this was over 10 years ago now.
This is an emotionally destructive condition, we all have it, let's be nice to each other.

Review of current treatment options by Levine and Sherer]

JS1991

Follow everything that skunkworks said! Also, I haven't experienced your exact case but I have gone through long-term drug abuse which led to post acute withdrawal syndrome, which takes months to recover from. Some people are more sensitive than others with certain drugs; everyone's brain is different, so I can see it happening to certain individuals off a single dose of mdma.
Do your homework before attempting a prolonged fast. JS1991 Timeline - Peyronies Society Forums (updated)

Ds300

hey skunkworks unfortunately i have been doing all that and nothing seems to be working.
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Ds300

Hey js1991 i appreciate the reply hopefully this will pass it hasnt substantially improved yet which is scaring me.
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JS1991

Nothing but time will help. Just be patient and stay positive.
Do your homework before attempting a prolonged fast. JS1991 Timeline - Peyronies Society Forums (updated)

skunkworks

This is an emotionally destructive condition, we all have it, let's be nice to each other.

Review of current treatment options by Levine and Sherer]

Gabriel

Hey DS,

I think I understand quite well how you feel: I also did a lot of MDMA back in the glory days, and always felt crappy  for it during muuuuuch longer days after than my friend... It also may have triggered my depression at the time (or was it the contrary? Anyway, it's linked).

I can fairly tell that I tried almost everything to get out of this dark lands. I'm now mostly out of them, and I can objectively tell you it's 90% thanks to a very good therapist I've been seeing for one year and a half now (and I was not a therapist believer at all prior to try on in the long-term).

Also, for the serotonin and sleep, take griffonia (5-HTP) before going to bed: it'll help rebuild your hormones stocks, and for me helps quite a bit getting better sleep (I have severe sleep problems)!
- 35 yo, Peyronies Disease with chronic pain, general hourglassing with girth and length loss since 09/01/17.
- Pain almost cured with Hirudoid cream and diet/lifestyle changes (see my topics on this); deformity still here, but partly reduced with traction + VED.

Ds300

How long did your depression last till it imroved?
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Gabriel

Hey DS,

Sorry for the late answer, I've been off the forum for a great while :-).

Well, actually what I identified later as the beginning of a depression worsened steadily, until I experience a complete physical and psychological crash 2-3 years later (hello Peyronie's!), which finally led me to man up and begin a deep therapy to change "everything" (at this time it was that, or ending myself, which I did'nt want to do...).

That, and nothing else (neither starting sports, music, diet and lifestyle changes, trips, professionnal changes, girlfriends changes etc. etc... I tried them all before) made my dark thoughts disappear, and led me 6 months later to finally begin to actually live my life and experience what may be happiness. I'm now 16 months in, and feel like living in another world, much bigger, lighter, peaceful and joyful than I could ever imagine possible.

By the way, be sure that I'm telling you all that as a very cartesian, empirist and rational person, with a very normal life. And I really, really suggest that you find yourself a good professionnal with whom you'll be able to dig deep in yourself: don't do as I did, trying to flee in anything else outside than facing what is inside during 3 sad and useless years!

Stay strong, and take care :-)!

G
- 35 yo, Peyronies Disease with chronic pain, general hourglassing with girth and length loss since 09/01/17.
- Pain almost cured with Hirudoid cream and diet/lifestyle changes (see my topics on this); deformity still here, but partly reduced with traction + VED.

Bubba dawg

Since you are already on Celexa you might ad Klonopin to balance yourself out. Ask your doctor about that drug Anti anxiety sleep aide. I don't think Celexa has a strong enough anxiety prevention. In fact one of the side effects of Celexa is Anxiety.
Ya get into Psychotherapy. Maybe a year from now, ask your doctor to wean you off Celexa and Klonopin. You can't just stop taking these drugs without serious withdrawal symptoms. Probably what is happening to you with the other drug. Serious withdrawal symptoms. I don't think you have suffered permanent damage either  
5 Rounds of Xiaflex. Good results.

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