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Author Topic: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!  (Read 467 times)

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Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« on: October 17, 2018, 02:25:26 AM »

It's been a week after injury and my symptoms have gone worse day by day. First there was no pain but now I have pain all the time, not just while erection but even when it's flaccid. The degree of curvature has gone above 90° (left-when flaccid). It's around 60° after erection.

I'm just 21 year old boy, and there's nothing left for me if my this part is not working properly. I have seen here people who are aged 50+ talking about sex and depression. (They are not happy with this curse even when they got it after 50). I'm just 21, what else will you expect from me?

My brothers! Life was never good to me. I lost my father when I was 16. My mother is housewife. There was no financial support. I worked in restorents as a waiter, sold newspapers in mornings while studying side by side. There were times when we couldn't buy even food for 2-3 days for both of us.

After so much struggle things were improving, as I got a new part time job few months ago (it doesn't pay good, but atleast fulfills daily needs). But the gods are not fair, they cursed me with this disease. It's a major blow, and I'm sorry but I lost here. And how can you win against the gods?!

I liked girls, they look amazing, don't they? But they don't attract me anymore, cause I'm not confident anymore. My mom says she'll find a beautiful girl for me to marry. (She doesn't know what has happened.) I won't marry anyone, it's simple, I can't ruin her life.

I was continuing my Study with a part time job, now I have to wait in lines for appointments. I read articles related to peyronie's most of the time. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail the exam which is one month away.

I'm from India where society kills such persons with verbal abuse, they will laugh at me, if I tell someone including my friends and relatives. Lets talk about treatment, Most of the medicines (you guys talk about) are not available here. Moreover I'm not rich enough to afford surgery and expensive medicines. And most medicines don't work anyway, as I read what people talk about in this forum.

I prayed to the gods, donated some money to poor kids. That's all I could. Now it's all over and I'm not in the mood of living anymore. Everyone has to die sooner or later.

All the Men who are struggling and fighting here, keep fighting bravehearts. I'm not brave enough like you. Good bye!


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Re: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2018, 09:44:34 AM »

Why commit suicide when you can try experiments and maybe succeed?
Try the steroids method maybe, dht cream.
Try somwthin.
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Re: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2018, 10:45:38 AM »

If you're truly non-functional why not just work super hard with no distractions until you can afford an implant? You only get one shot at life.


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Re: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2018, 01:26:22 PM »

Wow... Hold on here just a second....

If I am reading your post correctly, you have only injured your penis a week ago, one of the most sensitive parts of your body. This is not going to be a quick heal. Have you been to a doctor? You may not even have Peyronies, you may just be recovering from whatever injury you encountered. Don't give up so fast when you don't even know what the problem might be.

PM me if you want to talk

Moderator since 2015- Missouri- I work in the medical field and have strong knowledge of insurance and how to obtain coverage for medication and other treatments. Being a woman I do not have Peyronies but you can ask me anything. I am happy to help.


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Re: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2018, 01:33:45 PM »

 ‎Goodness Gracious Me‎, this will never ever do, there is a lot more happy days ahead of you, get a grip young man.
67 UK, Erectile Dysfunction from 2011, unable to get full erection, Peyronies Disease from  2015 acute bend to left, VED & hand traction + 50 mg Sildenafil every other day, or when i'm feeling lucky, forum member November 2017. Fav Film&Song, TheGoodTheBadThe Ugly. A Day in the Life


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Re: Ok I'm done! I'm committing suicide!
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2018, 05:21:17 PM »

Life was never good to me. I lost my father when I was 16. My mother is housewife. There was no financial support. I worked in restorents as a waiter, sold newspapers in mornings while studying side by side. There were times when we couldn't buy even food for 2-3 days for both of us.

Life is not fair. Here is a brief rundown of my life: I lost my biological father as a baby, so I never knew him. At least you got to meet your father. I had a happy childhood, but I was put on adderall and anti-depressants for my ADHD/OCD. I ended up not wanting to take them anymore so around age 14 I cold turkeyed off of the drugs. I became obese from the withdrawal (I had no idea what was going on) -- I was over 300 pounds -- from about 15 years old to about 20 years old and was a virgin this entire time. At that point I was just becoming sexual and I was one of the most popular men in my high school. I was also an excellent football player and wrestler as well as having an IQ of 136, and expected to get a scholarship to a college for wrestling. All of this went out the window for me as I was severely obese, depressed, and I felt like I had lost everything; a hard thing to face as a teen. In fact, this was my first experience with suicidal thoughts, which persisted for nearly a decade.

I ripped myself out of obesity and lost about ~130 lbs by age 20 and got a grip on myself and I started a business and began training mixed martial arts to replace the college wrestling I never had. Unfortunately, I became addicted to opiates and xanax from age 20 to 25 and had to stop training. At age 25 I ripped myself out of opiate addiction and began training mixed martial arts again; I still had the urge to compete that had never been fulfilled, and one has a small window as a man to fulfill has athletic goals until he is out of his prime; most of mine had been wasted. Unfortunately, I injured both of my knees, penis, prostate, elbow, lower back and both shoulders due to intense partying on stimulants (cocaine, ecstasy, adderall) as well as going too hard training, all within a year. My parents also got divorced in this time and I am currently helping to financially support their house as well as my brothers and sisters. The future of my business is unsure, as the market looks like it is going to be changing within the next five years. All of this is currently going on while I am actively courting/in the process of dating a new girl, while trying to abstain from sexual activity (lol), while getting off of (withdrawing from, currently) xanax. I challenge anyone here to withdraw from xanax while navigating through Peyronie's disease, a new relationship, abstinence and everything else I just described; needless to say it isn't easy. I've even gained weight due to the withdrawal and the fact that I can't do cardio because of my knees.. I'm back up to about 250 lbs at the moment, although I have full confidence I can and will lose it (helps for the water fast too). I am now ripping myself out of this situation as well and plan on continuing on to fight professionally and grow my business. And as you can all tell I remain positive, ALWAYS.

The reason I am telling you these things is because as men, we face trials. I'll repeat: life is not fair. There is nothing to blame on "the gods". The strong men who persevere through their troubles and rise above them are the men who go on to get what they want, and subsequently pass on their genes, fulfilling their purpose. Those who give up get left behind in the most cruel of ways. This is the way of things, as it always has been throughout the entirety of human evolution/history. So, you must not give up my friend. What you are describing can be helped. And after you go through this process it will make you stronger mentally than you ever thought possible, which is a true gift; I've received it multiple times throughout my life. In fact, I feel as though I can make it through literally any obstacle in life at this point.

Seriously though, you can eliminate pain and curvature. Here are my low-cost suggestions: Begin manual traction, take as many natural antioxidants as possible via food intake. Begin intermittent fasting with a keto diet (low carb, low sugar, high fat, medium protein). Apply heat to your penis (be careful). Consider water fasting. Abstain from masturbation until you are no longer injured. Maybe make your own VED. SEE A DOCTOR! Only you have the power to get through this! Good luck!!
Do your homework before attempting a prolonged fast. JS1991 Timeline - Peyronies Society Forums
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