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Author Topic: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve  (Read 772 times)

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Raindrops

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Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« on: October 16, 2018, 12:30:28 AM »

So I've been having a real crisis over my congenital penile curve to the point I've felt like I could puke. My penis curves down and to the left, and it has for as long as I can remember.

I'm 27 years old and it had never been a problem before. There was no pain and I could masturbate just fine. I've been single my entire life too, so my curve was a non-issue.

I remained a virgin until just January of this year because I wanted my first time to be in a relationship with someone I loved. That never happened though and I decided I was tired of waiting and wanted to try sex while I was young, so I started hooking up.

I'm gay and I exclusively have sex with men. During my hookups I noticed none of my partners had penises that curved like mine. If they curved at all they curved up in a strong, healthy way. I've been fortunate enough to have very attractive partners and their perfect penises began to make me feel very self-conscious.

I started doing reading about penile curvatures and felt utter despair and hopelessness as I read about how uncommon they are (<1%) and saw words like ”deformity" and "birth defect." Suddenly, I'm Quasimodo and I don't know what to do. I'm not confident enough, nor do I have enough positive things in my life for me to be capable of coping with having a deformed dick. I honestly felt like I wanted to die.

The ironic part here is I'm the receptive partner during sex and that's what I prefer. I don't have a desire nor need to penetrate anything. Even so, I'm ashamed of the way my penis looks (gay men are very visual). Occasionally, my partners want to give me a bj or handjob. I let them but I feel embarrassed the whole time. I don't want anyone to see it.

I've been to the urologist and he felt around on me confirming that there was no plaque, and that I wasn't suffering with Peyronie's disease. We discussed if it was congenital and he wanted me to bring in photos of it erect. We discussed surgery too.

I haven't gone back yet but I've done a lot of research since I saw him and I'm feeling so worthless and ashamed that I want to have the surgery just so I don't have to take this major blow to my self-esteem. Do you think I should go for it? If you had surgery how are things now? Are you satisfied?
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Monty

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2018, 03:08:23 AM »

Hi, go for it or stay as you are for life and eternity, so my vote is go for surgery.
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TonySa

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2018, 03:44:47 PM »

As a gay man I can say many others out there have no issues w their partners having a curved dick.  Heck, you can even let potential partners know ahead of time-even w pics such as on Grindr-and you’ll find these guys.  I think thus is just a self esteem issue which so many of us struggle with.  I would’ve very cautious about surgery because it will shorten your penis if plication and if plication or grafting can cause erection problems as a side effect.  PM he if you’d like to discuss further.
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JS1991

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2018, 09:03:29 PM »

Raindrops, if this was less of an issue before you started reading about "birth defects" and your partners want to give you handjobs and blowjobs, have never complained about your penis in the process, but you won't let them because it makes you feel uncomfortable, it seems this is mostly in your head. Own your penis and be proud of it! I am not gay but I assume confidence crosses over into your world as well as a form of attraction. If after that you still feel uncomfortable, you can assess your options and go from there. But I feel your situation should not be considered a "total crisis". There are members on this board who have no use of their penis.
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2018, 10:32:23 PM »

I've given it a lot of thought and I think I'm going to have the surgery. Although I may never use it for penetrative sex, and I don't have to worry about satisfying a female partner, knowing I have this deformity makes me feel bad about myself. I'm just not confident enough to be able to cope with this. I feel like I don't truly have a penis because it curves downwards and not out or up like normal ones. I'm 27 and I've never had a relationship. I'm very fearful of potential partners being turned off by the look of it. I don't want anyone to see my penis or engage with it because I'm embarrassed. I look at this situation as being similar to the one about my teeth. I had terribly crooked teeth with a huge gap in the middle. Instead of trying to "live with it," I got braces and got them fixed. Today I'm very, very proud of my teeth. I want to feel that way about my dick too.
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2018, 06:48:16 AM »

I would not do it for vain reasons only. We are not talking teeth here. Things could go wrong and you could be in a life time of pain and or disfunction. Just my opinion. Your life.
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damned

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2018, 02:38:47 PM »

What's the degree of the curvature?
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2018, 05:41:07 PM »

@bubba dawg If there is a reasonably safe procedure that will straighten my penis and given me a normal appearance I think it's worth the risks. No? Why live in shame of the shape of my penis, and in fear of attempting to have it fixed?

@damned When I showed my urologist the pics he said it was about 45 degrees
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2018, 05:45:38 PM »

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damned

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #9 on: December 25, 2018, 10:52:11 AM »

Just rating the curvature: Go for surgery.

Considering your particular situation: I have a downwards curved one like you, even more severe than yours. I understand your shame. Even though it seems stupid to undergo surgery just for the aesthetics. In my case it's not just aesthetics, which makes the decision more easy. But the odd look does embarrass me, too.

Please make sure to choose an experienced surgeon.
   
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2018, 11:36:30 AM »

Are dicks supposed to be pretty? That is a new one on me if they are. Just looks like a normal dick to me. If I weren't going to use it for sex and I could urinate fine. No way in hail would I let someone cut on it. This is all in your minds.  I dont think anyone cares what either of you dicks look like. You said you didnt care if you had sex. So that is what I am going by. No surgery is risk free. You could really have a ugly in pai. Dick
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damned

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2018, 12:44:13 PM »

@Bubba dawg

Did you look at all three pictures?
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Stabler

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2018, 01:08:12 PM »

I can see where the curvature is an issue for sex. The downward curve could make it impossible it at the very least painful. If you choose surgery as your plan of treatment then make sure to choose an experienced surgeon. Use our forum to find the right one and travel if need be to see one that knows what they are doing.

Stabler
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2018, 01:11:01 PM »

Yea but as long as he can urinate. Not in pain. Not going to use it for sex. No such thing as a pretty dick lol
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2018, 01:12:23 PM »

He said he wasnt going to use it for sex Stabler
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Stabler

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2018, 01:17:23 PM »

Whether or not he is going to use it for sex or just wants to feel more confident about himself the decision is his, our job here is to help him find the right course of treatment with the right doctor.

Stabler
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damned

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #16 on: December 25, 2018, 01:42:20 PM »

👍🏻
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #17 on: December 25, 2018, 01:48:37 PM »

@bubba dawg I'm gay so there is very much so such a thing as pretty dick. Gay men probably care more about the look of a penis than women do honestly. Mine may never be that pretty but I at least want it to look as normal as possible. I may prefer bottoming but I want to feel topping is an option. Maybe one day I'll want to try it.

@damned Thanks for understanding my situation. I'm seeing my urologist again next month to discuss what procedures would be best. You said your curve is pretty substantial too. Are you going to have surgery?

@Stabler Thanks to you too for understanding. I want my penis fixed but I want to be smart about it. I'm so desperate to just get it fixed I was considering just going with whoever is local. Is that a bad idea? I live in the US in Virginia
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Stabler

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #18 on: December 25, 2018, 01:56:06 PM »

Do not make your decision based on desperation. Look at the list we have here in the forum to help guide you
http://www.peyroniesforum.net/index.php/topic,4063.0.html

Talk to members that have had the surgery to know who they have seen but do not choose a surgeon just because they are close to where you live.

Stabler
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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #19 on: December 25, 2018, 02:31:26 PM »

Yes, I‘m planning to undergo surgery.
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #20 on: December 25, 2018, 05:19:26 PM »

Full quote removed

He asked in his original post whether he should "go for it" Referring to the surgery. So just giving him my opinion on that aspect
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TonySa

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2018, 09:56:02 PM »

Raindrops, the most important decision you will make is which doctor you choose.  Please research that well.
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #22 on: December 26, 2018, 04:51:46 AM »

There was a doctor on that list Stabler gave me who happens to be located in my city of Richmond. I was thinking of going to see him after I meet with my main urologist. Finding information about congenital penile curves has been difficult from the beginning and finding information about surgeons has been harder. How would you suggest starting my research?
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #23 on: December 26, 2018, 05:00:52 AM »

I read that because my curve is biplanar (curved down and left) correcting it is going to be extra hard. I feel so screwed lol! I hope I don't end up needing to fly out of the country for this. I don't know if I have the means.
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Bubba dawg

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #24 on: December 26, 2018, 06:04:28 AM »

 My Doctor referred me to a peyrones specialist. You can ask your urologist to refer you to a Surgeon. He or she will forward your medical records to that doctor. One thing the surgeon will do is give you the pros and cons of such a surgery. Tell you how long it will take you to recover etc etc. Yea he or she may advise you against doing it if the risk compared to reward are too great. I think they just leave it up to you
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #25 on: December 26, 2018, 07:44:01 AM »

Okay, that sounds pretty straight forward. I hope they just let me have it. I've seen all the gory pictures of bloody, degloved penises and I'm still resolved that I want the surgery. If I'm willing to let someone put a knife to my penis it's clear this really matters to me.
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mst1622

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #26 on: December 26, 2018, 05:51:28 PM »

I read that because my curve is biplanar (curved down and left) correcting it is going to be extra hard. I feel so screwed lol! I hope I don't end up needing to fly out of the country for this. I don't know if I have the means.


Don't read this. It is not extra hard if you will go to experienced and recognized surgeon. I had curved down and left and my surgeon fixed it without any problems. I was more problematic patient, because I did re-do surgery in the USA after first failed.

But don't be stupid in your choice of the surgeon. You have to go for someone who has got the best success rate. Believe me, the surgery is not the big deal - but finding the best surgeon - it is. If I were you, I would go for dr Gelman in Orange C.A because he has the best success rate in the world. Just relax. Having the surgery with top specialist is really piece of cake.
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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #27 on: December 26, 2018, 07:14:54 PM »

Rain, what is the degrees of curve downwards and degrees to the left?
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Raindrops

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #28 on: December 27, 2018, 08:52:16 PM »

@mst1622 I live on the east coast in Virginia. Ideally I was hoping to find someone competent on this side of the country. Did you start with a surgeon outside the US?Why did you have to have two surgeries? Are you satisfied with your penis now?

@Tonysa My urologist said it was about 45 degrees bad but not bad enough to make them care without me having to convince them
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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #29 on: December 27, 2018, 11:27:03 PM »

I’d think at 45degrees it is certainly significant if it’s creating problems for you.
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mst1622

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Re: Having a Total Crisis Over my Congenital Penile Curve
« Reply #30 on: December 30, 2018, 08:27:54 AM »

@mst1622 I live on the east coast in Virginia. Ideally I was hoping to find someone competent on this side of the country. Did you start with a surgeon outside the US?Why did you have to have two surgeries? Are you satisfied with your penis now?

I had failed surgery in Yachia technique in the 2015, not in the USA. I was straight by 1,5 month and then curvature slowly came back. After 3 years I decided to do re-do with top surgeon in the USA, because I had downward reccurent curvature of 30 degrees and 30 degrees left.

Yes, I am 3,5 months after the surgery and I am finally straight and it makes me happy. It is big relief for me. You can look on AeroT topic with before/after photos. I have very similiar result as him with the same doctor.
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